With the signing of The Corpse of Julian Tavarez today, the average age of the Brewers bullpen shot up to 52.2 years. My God -- between Shouse, Mota, Torres and Tavarez, we're going to need to put rocking chairs out in the 'pen instead of benches. Billy Castro's title is going to be changed from Bullpen Coach to Rouser. As in:
CASTRO: Julian! Wake up!
TAVAREZ: Huh? What? Is that you, Lord?
CASTRO: No, dipshit, it's Castro. Wake the fuck up! Bushie threw the ball good today, but he had a problem in the fifth. We're down 12-2. You're in.
All that said, the fact that most of our bullpen is eligible for AARP does present certain possibilities. Maybe we could supplement the sausage race with a bedpan race -- brought to you by (of course) Direct Supply. Hook it up, D's 3Some.