Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Return of McSteal

In news that sent tremors through absolutely nowhere, Marquette guard Jerel McNeal announced today that he's returning for the Fuck Tom Crean Memorial Tour next season. He'll be performing on the main stage with the other returning members of the Big Three --

(Let's stop here for a moment. We couldn't come up with a better nickname for James, McNeal, and Matthews than "the Big Three"? It's the most overrused group nickname ever. For God's sake, Ray "Soft as Charmin" Allen, Sam "Alien" Cassell, and Glenn "Most Terrifying Person Dribbling in Open Court Ever" Robinson were called the Big Three at one point. I hereby submit the Holy Trinity as the nickname for the trio. You don't like it? The line to blow me starts right back there.)

(And, no, I'm not worried about the blasphemy. I don't go to church anymore, so I'm outside God's jurisdiction....Holy shit, was that lightning?)

Anyway -- he'll be back with the other members of the Holy Trinity (TM) as they give a collective and emphatic middle finger to Tom Crean, Indiana basketball, the Indiana administration, and, basically, the entire fucking state of Indiana. (You know why Tom Crean kept saying "It's Indiana. It's Indiana" at his press conference? Because he wanted to keep the discourse at a level that the whole state could understand. Fucking dipshit hayseeds.)

Early, conservative predictions for Jerel's final year: 28.1 points, 12.2 rebounds, 8.9 assists, and 9.7 steals per game.

No comments: