Friday, June 13, 2008

The News on Tan Tommy Just Keeps Getting Better.

Hasn't been mentioned in this space yet, but the situation at Indiana continues to swirl down the crapper: Jordan Crawford has become the latest (former) Hoosier to grab a life preserver, give the finger to the captain, and jump over the side of the S.S. Crean.

(I particularly enjoyed this comment from Tan Tommy when he was asked, before Crawford transferred, about the young man going home for the summer and missing summer school: “He doesn’t need to [go to summer school], and I think it’s good for him to get home,” Crean said. “It’s important to remember that those guys have been through a whole lot.” Ordinarily, this might be a sensible statement. But Jordan Crawford is from Detroit. Having just been to Detroit, I can say that it's never good for anyone to have to go there / go back there / have to travel through there. I think that's the biggest indictment of the state of the Indiana program: things are so unbelievably shitty there that people would rather go to Detroit -- DETROIT! -- than stay in Bloomington. Mother of God.)

Now, here's the thing that gets me:

Tom Crean coached at a Jesuit university for nine years, right? Presumably, in that time, he met a priest or two. Presumably, one of those priests mentioned something about God to him. And, presumably, Tan Tommy was able to figure out that the dudes in those funky collars have a direct line to The Big Man.

So: how in the hell did you think that fucking over (and I'm talking just about the way he left, not about the fact that he left) the priest who's the president of the Jesuit university was going to work out well for you? Did you not realize that Fr. Wild was going to get on the Bat-phone to God and ask him to re-enact the Ten Plagues of Egypt on your bitch-ass? It started with your hideous sunburn the day you were introduced at Indiana. It's continued with every scholarship player save for one hightailing it out of Bloomington. If it starts raining frogs on the new Crean Mansion, don't say you didn't have a heads-up.

6 comments:

FPMKE said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Reid You Animal! said...

Hey, Coach Buzz called me today too. I'll be honest, I could listen to him stammer through prepared statements on the phone all day long. There's just something about that Texas drawl that makes me feel all funny inside.

Rubie Q said...

"I'm hoping David Diggs shows up and wets himself on the bull."

Fixed.

FPMKE said...

See I knew he wasn't a bad guy. Plus, whether he's a good coach or not, he's sure to give us plenty fodder for impersonations.

A conversation between Buzz and Fr. Wild has to sound like someone made a TV Funhouse clip by dubbing Admiral Akbar and the Rich Texan from the Simpsons.

Moongoose McQueen said...

It's a trap!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD3reA6MoxU

Reid You Animal! said...

OMFG!!! I just watched that video and I damn near peed myself. "Now with brine shrimp", priceless. Wow!