Thursday, August 28, 2008

'I'm Swell, Occifer, How Are You?'

About last night:

(1) Tony LaRussa is a Grade-A fuckstick: If what the Cardinals do is considered 'playing the game the right way,' then I'm more happy than ever to be a Brewers fan. Yeah, Defendant LaRussa, I'm sure that ball just got away from Wainwright when he drilled Braun in the ribs -- the guy who just happens to be recovering from a ribcage/lower back injury. Funny how those things happen like that.

Also: you're a fucking queefnugget. You deserve every bit of misfortune that befalls you. Tony LaRussa should die of ghonnorea and rot in hell.

(2) The Cardinals are done: I don't know if the Brewers are going to make the playoffs, but I know for sure that the Cardinals aren't. So you say Chuck New Town lit a fire under your asses, Prince Albert? Interesting. You know what kind of teams don't need a fire lit under their asses? Good ones. Ones that are going to make the playoffs because they have good pitching and good hitting and play good defense, not because of some inane shit like 'we're a sleeping giant.' The fact that you referred to your team as 'sleeping' tells us all we need to know. Enjoy getting swept by the Cubs.

(3) The bullpen is going to make the last month interesting: Let's see. Riske can't be trusted. Mota, despite what Tom Haudricourt would have you believe, certainly can't be trusted. Gagne is a crapshoot every time he takes the mound. Shouse and Jesse Orosco just threw a joint 68th birthday party. And Torres has cooled off, as we knew he would.

Whoa, fuck.

And, perhaps most importantly:

(4) Happy Golden Birthday, FPMKE: Hope you get that golden shower you've been wanting.


FPMKE said...

Hey, Birthday shout-outs... I like it. Now I'm going to my soccer coaching meeting followed by drinking beers.

Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

Happy belated birthday fpmke. I hope some sweet buffet brunch is in your future.