Craig Counsell is a nice ballplayer. He can give a guy a breather and, though he can't hit worth a lick, he can hold down the fort in the field at three positions (not at the same time, which would be some kind of record).
But JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, he's not an everyday player. You can't run him out there game after game after game. He's already struck out three times today, and...
Fine. Go ahead. Hit a two-run double just as I'm typing this. Goddamn elf.