Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Anecdote on Torturing Your Fiance

So, I'm a very good alum and like to help out in the college of business when I can. To that end, I have participated in the MU mentor program the last three years. Yesterday was the rollout night where I met my student protegees (yes, I have two) Believe me, I'm going somewhere with this, though you may not find it funny.

Last year I knew that I would be mentoring a girl beforehand. I used that knowledge to torture the lady and talk about all the great things about college girls: short skirts, perky breasts and the like. So after my first meeting with Colleen, Claire was asking a ton of questions about her. The conversation went something like this:
"So, what's she like?"
"Haha, she's...like...innocent, really innocent. And shy. She's just waiting to be plowed by some older man." Ok, I didn't say that last part.
"Really? What does she look like?"
"She's cute, you know, thin and fit, but curvy."
Anger boiling, "Really...that's great."
"And she's taller than you." I got hit for that. Nothing like preying off insecurities for my own amusement.

So, the lady asked about my protegees this year, inquiring if either was a girl. Giddyup!
"Yes, I have a guy and a girl. Guess what her name is."
"Katie? Jessica?"
"No, no, think closer to home."
Gasp - "No, no it's not!"
"Oh yes, it's Clare and she's taller than you too."
"DAMMIT! Did you tell her your fiance is named Claire?"
"Uh, no. She's from River Hills, I may be able to cash in! I'm still mad about your false advertising, you're from Cedarburg and your parents don't have any money."

I think she knew I was joking. Regardless, I was entertained.

3 comments:

Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

Do you show up to the mentoring things in a cardigan and your glasses? That is how I always think of mentors. The chicks will dig that... or maybe not.

Torturing a fiance sounds fun.

Devil's Threesome said...

I showed up in briefs and a vest, that's it.

Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

Now that is classy.

Wait... bad mental picture. Bad mental picture.