Tuesday, September 2, 2008

NFL Predictions...

While anxiously waiting for my next cell phone call from Sheets' Va Jay Jay Saturday night to make my next fantasy NFL pick I decided to prediect the entire NFL season. Here's what I came up with:

NFC East
Dallas 12-4 - Big D loses the 4 games that Jessica Simpson attends incluing the Packer game
Philadelphia 10-6 Suprise team of NFC, earn wild card
NY Giants 9-7 Tough year with an depleted D and realization that offense isn't that good either
Washington 8-8 .500 for last place team in league's toughest division

NFC North
Minnesota 11-5 - If they only had a QB to go with AP and that defense (insert horn sound effect)
Green Bay 10-6 - Not to shabby for ARodg and Co., earn wild card
Detroit 6-10 - Time to draft another WR.
Chicago 4-12 - Time to draft a real QB

NFC South
New Orleans 12-4 - Saints are back again
Carolina 9-7 - No playoffs for Panthers
Tampa Bay 7-9 - Should have gotten Brett Favre
Atlanta 3-13- Rookie QB headed back to lottery pick.

NFC West
St. Louis 10-6 - Rams win horrible division.
Seattle - 8-8 - Last year for Holmgren ends after he snaps Hasselback's neck by grabbing facemask.
San Fransico 4-12 - JT O'Sullivan...really?
Arizona 3-13 - Another off-season of under age beer bongs for Matt Leinart

AFC East
New England 14-2 - Patriots back for more
NY Jets 10-6 - Earn wild card and earn Packers 2nd round pick. Favre decides to come back again...or maybe not...wait...ok fine I'll come back one more year.
Buffalo 5-12 - Time to move to Toronto
Miami 3-13 - Nothing creative to say.

AFC North
Pittsburgh 12-4 - A Big Ben without a sandy vagina
Cincinnati 9-7 - Miss playoff but Ocho Cinco entertains as per usual
Cleavland 8-8 - Despite Derek Anderson's 39 touchdown passes, Browns miss playoffs
Baltimore 6-10 - Another rookie QB, but defense helps

AFC South
Indianapolis 12-4 - Repeat of last few years, only to lose in playoffs again
Tennessee 10-6 - Surprise AFC team, make playoffs lead by Vince Young
Jacksonville 9-7 - Disappointing year starting with teammate getting shot yesterday.
Houston 4-12 - Maybe should have re thought this whole NFL expansion thing.

AFC West
San Diego 13-3 - Finally their year in the AFC
Denver 10-6 - Great year, but miss playoffs due to tie-breaker
Kansas City 8-8 - Larry Johnson returns to his former self and wins comeback player of the year
Oakland 4-12 - Rookie QB and RB, and WR that wants to give back money...that's never good.

Wild Card Games
Green Bay beats St. Louis
Minnesota beats Philadelphia
Pittsburgh beats Tennessee
Indianapolis beats NY Jets

New Orleans beats Green Bay
Dallas beats Minnesota
San Diego beats Indianapolis
New England beats Pittsburgh

Conference Finals
Dallas beats New Orleans
San Diego beats New England

Super Bowl
Dallas beats San Diego


EMoney said...

It's official! Your first incorrect prediction already and the season didn't even start yet.....comeback player of the year will be incorrect as Larry Johnson is out 6-8 weeks with a broken collarbone suffered in practice. I do like the San Diego prediction though.

Softball's Tony Gwynn said...

what the fuck are you talking about $. i've looked everywhere for the last 15 minutes to see that...no where to be found.

EMoney said...

Mort was talking about it on The Herd