When ESPN says that the Cowboys may turn to Brooks Fucking Bollinger to right the ship against the Giants, because "Bollinger's mobility" will be important against the voracious Giants pass rush ... well, it just kind of makes me wonder:
Has anyone at ESPN ever watched Brooks Bollinger play football? Dude's been sacked 46 times in 19 games, which doesn't seem like a ridiculous number -- until you remember that, when Brooks Fucking Bollinger is under center, his team is running the ball on two plays out of three.
Sure, he's not a complete statute like Brad Johnson, but he ain't exactly Donovan McNabb back there either. Trust me, a very young Rubie Q was there for one of his only good games at Wisconsin, when he was either (1) handing the ball off to Ron Dayne; or (2) faking the hand-off to Dayne, running a bootleg, and floating a duckfart, four-yard pass to the tight end. Brooks Bollinger isn't in the NFL for his mobility; dude hasn't been considered 'mobile' since he was playing high school ball in North Dakota.