Here’s my hate list of Big East coaches. I considered level of heartbreak, team conduct and sideline conduct in compiling these rankings.
1. Louisville - Rick Pitino
There’s only one place to start: Pitino is the devil. He ran the score up on MU in 2004 when Diener was hurt. He fabricated a JS article with false Merritt quotes in 2005. He has ripped our hearts out multiple times in the Bradley Center. I can’t stand this guy. I wonder if it still hurts when he pees?
2. Pittsburgh – Jamie Dixon
I can only think of one word: bitch. He constantly has that whiny look on his face, he team is full of dirty goons and he has accused us of being dirty. Luckily, we own him in the regular season at 4-1 in BE play. Way to put so much emphasis on the BET so your team fizzles in the NCAAs every year you numbnuts
3. Connecticut - Jim Calhoun
Calhoun is just a prick. His teams are full of thugs and he still plays them despite legal entanglements. I’m so glad we put a beat-down on them in 2006. Somehow, he has about 12 players every year that stand taller than 6’9”.
4. Seton Hall - Bobby Gonzalez
What a fucking clown. He is such an asshole that he got suspended by the BE for criticizing the officials. His players have injured James and he was screaming while MU was shooting free throws last year. An absolute piece of trash. Luckily, we’ve never lost to him.
5. Syracuse - Jim Boeheim
Dixon is a bitch and Boeheim is a whiny bitch. He’s always crying on the bench and then crying in March when his team gets left out of the tourney. Hey, Boeheim, how about you coach all of your big recruits so they don’t lose at home to multiple mid majors every year. You can also play a road nonconference game every now and then. Bonus points for coaching Eric Devendorf
6. West Virginia - Bobby Huggins
It’s good to have Bobby back. He is such a surly prick and he has coached some horrific goons – Maxiell being my prime target. He’s easy to loathe. Bonus points for giving us the classic DUI stop a couple of years ago
7. Georgetown - John Thompson III
Big East royalty. Coaches the most overrated and luckiest team in the league. They were fucking handed the conference title last year by the referees.
8. Villanova - Jay Wright
I won’t say anything bad about Jay Wright. I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll end up in cement shoes in the Delaware River. Bonus points for enamoring Tom Crean with the all guard offense
9. Notre Dame - Mike Brey
I have nothing against Brey. I abhor ND with the power of a thousand suns, but it seems like Brey is a good guy. I have to put him this high because of his association with ND and Shrek
10. DePaul - Jerry Wainright (pictured above)
“Old Gill needs a win.” He looks like Hubert from “Best In Show.” Extra points for coaching the 8 year wonder, Sammy Mejia, and for losing to UW in the NCAA tournament while at Richmond
11. Rutgers – Fred Hill
He is a recruiting menace and is exceedingly annoying on the sidelines. He jumps around about as much as Crean
12. Cincinnati - Mick Cronin
Cronin looks like he’s 10 years old
13. Providence - Keno Davis
Considering his team lost at home to Northeastern tonight, I should bump him up a bit on the list. Also, extra credit for that stupid first name and the nepotism and then abandonment of Drake
14. Norm Roberts - St Johns
Tough to dislike this guy, St. John’s is uglier than a Lou Carnaseca sweater though. Chris Mullin and Felipe Lopez must be embarrassed. They get about 1,500 people for their games at MSG.
15. South Florida – Stan Heath
I just feel bad for the guy. He got jobbed at Arkansas and he has absolutely no hope of turning things around in Tampa. Then again, he does live in Tampa. Keep your distance from Chuckie
16. Buzz Williams – Marquette
Of course Buzz is my favorite, helped greatly by his elimination of the dribble hand-off