First off, I appreciate the invitation into this infamous round table. It didn’t bother me about not having access earlier (let it be known that I never once asked to join or for the site address, but I was aware there was some Cool Shit on the softball sight (those hoops were just so difficult to jump through)). Second, I know every single one of you despise everything Minnesota, but those are the sports teams I grew up with, so I stick with them (win or lose, cheap or not). I am sure if the roles were reversed, you would still cheer for the Crew or the Pack, or for some of you, hate to love them. Also, let me reminded all of you I have not lived there for an extended period of time since the summer of 2001.
Now, to my main point, it’s not my goddamn fault. It’s not my fucking fault Carl Pohlad is too fucking cheap and that he offered the Twins up for contraction. It’s not my goddamn fault the taxpayers in Minnesota didn’t want to give a few extra cents to pay for a new stadium sooner. It’s not my fucking fault that when a new stadium was finally approved, those fucking idiots didn’t want to put a fucking roof on it (at least no one ever suggested using the old Baggie out in right field as the roof). It’s not my fault Minnesotans don’t know how to enjoy a baseball game like god almighty D3some does. It’s not my fault the Vikings have not sold out their playoff game yet. It’s not my fault they love to blow that horn after every play. It's not my fault Favre wanted to play in Minnesota. The Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome is not my fault. It’s not my fault Norm Green fucking stole the team in 93. It’s not my fault that once we did get professional hockey back the state asked all of the 3rd graders who would be going to all of the games what to name the team.
It’s not my fault they elected a former pro wrestler as governor (two month too young to vote in that election) and are about to elect a comedian to the Senate. It’s not my fault Paul’s plane crashed. It’s not my fault that there are more than 10,000 lakes in the state and the state motto is “Land of 10,000 Lakes”. It’s not my fault that the sky is blue. I can go on and on with this.
So with all that said, I hope you all get impacted bowels sitting on your high and mighty sticks here in the land of beer, cheese and sausage.
Love - Kirby