Tuesday, December 23, 2008

On This Christmas Eve Eve…

Let us pause for a moment to consider how fortunate we are to have Dom James running point, and to ponder that Mike McCarthy, a year after taking a team to the NFC title game, might be coaching for his job next week:

(1) I'm ignoring the Tennessee game because it doesn't help my argument: Just another reason to cringe when considering that Mo Acker is going to be the dude running your Golden Eagle offense next year – check out Dom's stats in our most recent non-conference road games:

@ North Carolina State: 18 points, 6 assists, 2 turnovers, 4-6 from three. Game-winning three with .4 left on the clock.

@ Wisconsin (2007): 20 points, 6 assists.

@ Valpo (2006): 22 points, 11-13 on free throws, game-winning three as time expires.

To sum up: little man gets up for the non-conference roadie. Are we sure he doesn't want to go to grad school and do the seven-year, David Diggs program?

'firemikemccarthy.com' is still available, but probably not for long: Hey, Coach, remember the Minnesota game? The one where you called three horseshit running plays after we got into field goal range, and took the ball out of Rodgers' hands, and made the field goal tougher than it needed to be? Yeah, you remember that. Glad to see that you learned from that mistake. You fucking cocksmack.

That said, there's a silver lining to the clusterfuck that is Mike McCarthy: for once, Sheets' Va Jay Jay and I agree about the merits (or lack thereof) of a coach.

(3) I hate the Bears as much as the next guy, but…: If someone has to win the NFC North, I'd rather it be the Bears than the fucking Vikings. At least the Bears play outside, don't have purple in their uniforms, and DON'T PLAY A FUCKING HORN AFTER EVERY THREE-YARD RUN. (Anybody hear Viking Sound Guy laying on the horn after Matt Ryan fumbled while diving for the end zone during Sunday's game? Yeah, Thor, you might want to wait to see who recovers the fumble before you start with the fucking horn. Asshat.)

(4) Maybe I can get a package deal on 'firemikemccarthy.com' and 'cutajhawk.net': A.J.'s career, summed up in one play – Bears have third-and-nine, call a swing pass to Forte (who didn't see that coming?) … and A.J. falls down. Just falls down. Forte gets the first down, field goal, ball game. And, no, Coach, A.J. didn't get picked on that play – unless, by 'picked,' you mean: 'was unable to walk upright.'

I remain amazed at how stiff this guy is. (That's what she said.) He's built like a He-Man action figure – I think he's physically incapable of bending his arms, legs, or waist.

Which isn't a big problem if you actually are a He-Man action figure, and you're being used by a four-year-old to battle Skeletor in Castle Grayskull. But if you're a linebacker in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE? Kind of a problem.

(5) Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night: Let's be smart on the roads, boys. It's nasty out there. Merry Christmas to you and yours.


FPMKE said...

I appreciated the He-Man reference but would have liked a photo of Skeletor and a "I enjoy putting pictures in my posts" label.

My word verification is "skinfl" which I believe is short for skin-flute.

Merry Christmas.

Rubie Q said...

I aim to please.