A Sign of Progress.

While celebrating my championship in this year's edition of Fantasy Baseball (said celebration involved a mini bottle of Cook's, some Ritz crackers, and a few slices of Colby Jack cheese, enjoyed while I watched the Sox - Tigers game all by myself yesterday), I clicked on my Yahoo! profile to see if my most recent championship (and, don't look now, but I've won two of the last three seasons of fantasy baseball and finished second in the other one -- hello, dynasty) had boosted my overall fantasy ranking.

And as I looked over the results of fantasy seasons gone by, I was struck by the name Reid gave our fantasy baseball league four years ago:

.500 or Bust.

Wow. Four years ago, we were salivating over the prospect of the Brewers squeaking out a .500 season.

These are heady times, indeed.

Official Prediction Thread!!

Phillies in 5. CC will finally run out of gas and lose a game. Our struggling bats will be our undoing. One caveat: If we win tomorrow, we'll win the series. Don't have time for more, but I really want to hear everyone else's thoughts.

Will Leitch: Eat a Dick

http://deadspin.com/5056084/nlds-preview-phillies-vs-brewers?t=8033558#c8033558

6. The Brewers Aren't Particularly Likable. You have to be happy for Brewers fans, who have waited 26 years for a return to the postseason. But you don't necessarily have to like this team, which, in the opinion of this Cardinals fan, have taunted, showboated and chest-pounded to a rather excessive amount for a team that, until yesterday, had never won a damned thing. (Whatever my thoughts on the Cubs franchise, their players act like they've been there before.) I know, I know: Complaining about baseball etiquette is the last refuge of the elderly, jilted, crotchety fan. I'm pretty certain that I'm only acting out of emotion and am 100 percent wrong. But still: I'm not the only person who feels this way.

Way to link to an article written by a St Louis newspaper blogger you cackling douche. You know how you stop the Brewers from celebrating? Beat them! I also forgot that Pujols never stares at his home runs. The best response on Deadspin:

An open letter to Will Leitch, Albert Pujols, Tony LaRussa and Cardinals nation:
It has come to our attention that during the recently completed 162-game season, the Brewers may have shown some emotion when celebrating victories or big moments in games.
It's been 26 years since this team has made the postseason, and seriously... last year? We were partying just because we finished 1 game above .500. One of the things that the Brewers organization clearly overlooked in that quarter century was the establishment of a code of conduct by the most upstanding of all baseball organizations, I speak, of course, of the St Louis Cardinals -- fine upstanding citizens one and all. These Cardinals always celebrate the "right" way. And they would never drink during those celebrations and get behind the wheel either (oops).
As a Brewer fan, I want to apologize for the players on my team. I mean, they had the audacity to "pump their fists," "high-five" and "yell loudly," during some big moments this season. Oh, and they untucked their shirts after wins as an homage to Mike Cameron's father who used to untuck his shirt when he walked in the door from a long day at work.
I mean, really... Would you want your kids to start showing this type of behavior?
In conclusion, I'm sorry that the Cardinals missed the postseason. Probably sucks when you're a fan of a team that makes it to the playoffs just about every year and doesn't this one time. But rather than taking an uncharacteristically pissy Pujols' comments after one series as an indication of the "likability" of an entire team, maybe you could actually develop an opinion for yourself.

Manager/GM

Does this do enough for Attansio to extend Doug Melvin and hire Dale Svuem as manager for the forseeable future?

I for one think yes on both accounts!

Prince Fielder Bukkake!!!!

Quick Thoughts on Yesterday

I had a shitty day on Saturday, Brewers lose, Mets win and Nebraska still looks like Bill Callahan is coaching. We gave up 36 points at home to a hapless VT offense. How many will Missoura score on us? Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!!

But, I woke up a new man on Sunday. I knew it, just absolutely knew we'd win the Wild Card yesterday. It was just like last year for the Mets and I knew they would choke. I was so confident that I bought a bottle of champagne at Pick N Save.

From high atop my perch, 24 rows up in 407, I was getting a bit nervous after a couple innings. Reid even sent me a nervous text, but the Crew was only down one run and chances were good that one of the Cubs' carousel of relievers would cough up the lead.

The only sad thing is that I missed Braun hitting the ball. I was looking up in the rafters as stadium personnel were setting up for the celebration.

The champagne was fantastic in the parking lot!! All I have time for now, but finally in the playoffs!!!!

Playoffs...

What an incredible day? Flipping between the Mets game on TBS and the Brewers, I really wish I was at Miller Park even SRO. Oh well I've got Saturday to look forward to now. I can't believe we made the playoffs today I really thought it would come down to tomorrow. The Van Lith plan for the playoffs worked out perfectly. Have a little time tonight to mull over the playoff roster and here is what I've come up with. Hopefully I've understood the playoff roster rules correctly.

Infielders:
Fielder
Weeks
Durham
Hardy
Counsel
Hall

Outfielders:
Braun
Cameron
Hart



Catchers:
Kendall
Rivera

Pithcers:
Sabathia
Bush
Suppan
Gallardo
Shouse
Torres
Mota
Gagne
Villanueva
Parra
McClung


OK so that's 22. We probably need another position player or 2. So either Kapler/Gywnn and maybe Joe Dillon. Or maybe we can replace Riske who went on the dl in September with Coffey. Or maybe Stetter for that last spot.

Pitching Rotation:

Game 1: Dave Bush-He's been pretty solid in the month of September
Game 2: CC on 3 days rest again
Game 3: Gallardo
Game 4: Soup with McClung ready in the pen or maybe Bush back on short rest
Game 5: CC on normal rest.

Bring on the celebratory Staghorn Octoberfest

Thank you Florida Marlins; thank you Wes Helms?

Thank you CC, we always knew you could do it.

Thank you Brauny, it's been a rough September but you were there when we needed you.

Congrats to Corey Hart on winning the Billy Hall over-zealous swing award.

Happy Birthday Mark Attanasio... your large wallet and brass balls made this all possible.

I'm going to enjoy this Staghorn and think about how hot M C Clung's wife/girlfriend/mistress appeared to be.

College Football Thoughts

The Brewers game is over in the 3rd and the Ben Sheets era has mercifully ended so it's on to college football. Some thoughts from today:

• Big 11 is football is so awful, it's hard to put it into words. This UW-Michigan game is an abomination. Michigan fumbles every other play. Half of their plays from scrimmage this year have gone for 0 or negative yards. Wisconsin is up 13-0. The Badgers don't need to run an offensive play the rest of the game. They could punt on first down every time and not need to worry about Mythigan scoring.


• Honorary Big 11 Team of the Week: Tennessee! They just botched a handoff in the end zone and Auburn fell on it for the easiest 6 ever


• Michigan just fumbled again - seriously


• What's worse than a Big 11 game? A Big 11 team playing Notre Dame! At least the giant, floating funereal head of Tom Hammond can enterain me


• Anyone else seen the commercial with all the Big 11 coaches giving their recruiting pitches? The shot at the end with JoePa is really sad. He's senile, he really needs to be in a facility of care


• Attention Badger fans - don't get too excited about your win over a very average Fresno team - they are losing to UCLA and have given up an unfathomable 16 points thru 23 minutes


• What happened to Florida St? They couldn't manage a touchdown at home last week against Wake. This comes after losing to Wake 30-0 the last time they visited Tallahassee. Bobby Bowden doesn't care - he just loves his straw hat! I don't know why that pic is so fucking big - sorry
• Florida - take solace in all the smoking hot chicks at your school because your football team laid a colossal egg at home against Ole Miss

Pack Your Things Ben Sheets...

and get the fuck out of town.

Should we just not talk about it?

Maybe let's not talk about it.  No jinxes.

In other news... I hope to see most of you at Wiffle Ball tonight.

The Ryan Braun 'Real Mensch' Club

mensch or mensh (mnsh)
n. pl. mensch·es or mensch·en (mnshn) Informal
A person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose.

After Brauny's first Major League grand slam... a game winner at that... and with the definition of 'Mensch' at the front of your mind, I propose a new club to bring pride back to the small group of Brewers players who deserve our support and recognition: The Ryan Braun "Real Mensch" Club.

First member: Ryan Braun

Credentials:
1) 10th innning grand slam with 2 outs is the clutch performance his team needed to keep their post season hopes alive.
2) After signing a large contract, immediately praised the organization and subtly called out some of his less gracious teammates (Yes Prince, I think he meant you).
3) Has not shyed away from the role of team leader and has been fearless in the face of media-types.
4) .286 AVG/ 36 HR/ 104 RBI/ 14 SB

I open the floor to support of this new club and further nominations.

Boy that Eric Gagne is a nice young man...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2008
CONTACT: BREWERS MEDIA RELATIONS
414-902-4500
Brewers.com
GAGNE PURCHASES 5,000 TICKETS TO BE GIVEN FREE TO FANS TONIGHT
TICKETS TO BE GIVEN AWAY AT BREWERS.COM BEGINNING AT 3:30 PM
MILWAUKEE – Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Eric Gagne today purchased 5,000 tickets to be given away to Brewers fans for tonight’s game. The idea for the plan originated with Gagne, who approached Brewers officials late last night to discuss the logistics.
"Tonight we'll be playing one of the most important games in franchise history, and I can think of no better way to thank the fans than giving families an opportunity to pack Miller Park,” Gagne said. “No matter what happens over these next four games, I want everyone to know that I think the world of Brewers fans. Three million times they have walked through the gates this year and none of us on the field takes their support for granted. We're going to have some fun out here, and I know that the atmosphere will be electric."
Starting at 3:30, fans can go to Brewers.com to request up to four tickets. Simply click on the “Gagne Giveaway” graphic to go to the ticket request page and enter Gagne as the password when prompted. Fans requesting the complimentary tickets will be subject to a one-time $2.00 fee for printing their ticket order at home, or a $4.00 per order fee for picking at Miller Park will call.
The tickets are first come, first served, and the inventory of 5,000 available is expected to be exhausted quickly.
Gagne has also put in a special request for fans to support this weekend’s Drive for Charity along with Northwestern Mutual. Participating fans will have the opportunity to receive a J.J. Hardy collectible Brewers pin with the donation of new or gently used winter coats. Donations will be accepted throughout the Chicago series from the gate opening through the second inning at the Left Field, Right Field, and Home Plate Gate entrances.

As requested...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFRv_HK6K-w&feature=related

Get the W tonight and hope Harden comes through...things might get interesting this weekend where the weather in NY is supposed to be horrible. Let's just get 3 more wins and I think worse case we'll be in a tiebreaker game Monday.

Rhetorical Question:

How does Ben Sheets even show his face when Yovani Gallardo walks into the clubhouse?

Captain Vagina: "Hey, Yo. Ready to pitch tonight?"

Yo the Stud: "Gosh, I hope so. You know, it was only four months ago that my ACL decided to take up residence in my thigh. But, since I'm a man and not a fucking fairy, I'm going to give it a shot tonight."

Captain Vagina: "Yeah, I know what you mean. When I throw a ball now, my elbow tickles a little bit. I mean, there's nothing structurally wrong with it -- which, as best I can understand, means that there's NOT A FUCKING THING WRONG WITH IT AT ALL. But, boy, that little tickle. Just completely throws me off my game. (sniffs) Hey, do I smell like rotten tuna to you?"

Yo the Stud: "Yes, there is a distinct odor of rotten tuna coming from your direction. Well, I better take my recently-shredded knee out to the bullpen to get ready."

Captain Vagina: "Alright, kid. Good luck out there. I'm going to be rubbing Me-Gay all over my arm to see if I can get this tickle to go away. Then I'm going to trim my hair into a landing strip pattern; I've gotten bored with the Dorito-chip style I'm going with now."

Yo the Stud: (shoots Ben Sheets in the face with a shotgun)

Thank you Cubs!

I can't believe I'm saying that, but it's not very often that the playoff lives of the Brewers are very much dependent on how the Cubs play. Not since 1992 have I been as wrapped up in a non-Brewer non-playoff game in September. With the slim 1 game of separation between the Mets and Crew in the wild card, CC on the mound for the Crew, Zambrano for the Cubs, and a cool crisp September night, playoff electricity was definitely in the air.....and I was 400+miles away from all the action. With the Brewers taking care of their bus. I couldn't help but stay up past my bed time (damn I'm gettin old) to see what was going to happen with the game in New York. And the game did not disappoint! Not only did the Cubs win in extras, but to get out of that jam in the bottom of the ninth with a man on 3rd and no out was something special in itself. Damn, I wish I was in "the good land" right now! Today is going to be big for us with the first appearance by Gallardo in 5 months. It would be HUGE if we could go into the weekend with a 1 game advantage. I would feel much better if we had a game of breathing room when we face the Cubs, considering the big question mark of a starting staff that we are throwing together at this point. GO CREW!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B17W_HT3A9E

Notice the Brewers boxers...size XXXL

There is Bushy...throwing the ball well...except for that whole 2nd inning mess. We avoided the bush inning and still won.

Not one word about the Brewers...

I for one had a hell of a good time last night and it was exactly what this team needed. I really think we are going to make the playoffs. Sure the Mets won, this was their best chance in the series, Johan Santana vs. Sean Marshall, now they get Big Z and Harden. Crew has CC on the bump and however pitches tomorrow (maybe Soup can come up big), then McClung Friday vs Dempster is a big match-up.

Breaking Sonic Related News!!

Hot off the JSOnline Wire:

The Milwaukee area's first Sonic Drive-In restaurant will open in West Milwaukee by February, according to a recent recommendation by the village Plan Commission.The commission has recommended zoning approval for the Sonic, to be built at 2080 S. Miller Park Way. It will be operated by franchisee Twilight Burgers, which plans to open up to 20 Milwaukee-area Sonic Drive-Ins over the next seven years. The menu will include burgers, shakes and breakfast items.

http://www.jsonline.com/watch/?watch=1&date=9/23/2008&id=46573

Anecdote on Torturing Your Fiance

So, I'm a very good alum and like to help out in the college of business when I can. To that end, I have participated in the MU mentor program the last three years. Yesterday was the rollout night where I met my student protegees (yes, I have two) Believe me, I'm going somewhere with this, though you may not find it funny.

Last year I knew that I would be mentoring a girl beforehand. I used that knowledge to torture the lady and talk about all the great things about college girls: short skirts, perky breasts and the like. So after my first meeting with Colleen, Claire was asking a ton of questions about her. The conversation went something like this:
"So, what's she like?"
"Haha, she's...like...innocent, really innocent. And shy. She's just waiting to be plowed by some older man." Ok, I didn't say that last part.
"Really? What does she look like?"
"She's cute, you know, thin and fit, but curvy."
Anger boiling, "Really...that's great."
"And she's taller than you." I got hit for that. Nothing like preying off insecurities for my own amusement.

So, the lady asked about my protegees this year, inquiring if either was a girl. Giddyup!
"Yes, I have a guy and a girl. Guess what her name is."
"Katie? Jessica?"
"No, no, think closer to home."
Gasp - "No, no it's not!"
"Oh yes, it's Clare and she's taller than you too."
"DAMMIT! Did you tell her your fiance is named Claire?"
"Uh, no. She's from River Hills, I may be able to cash in! I'm still mad about your false advertising, you're from Cedarburg and your parents don't have any money."

I think she knew I was joking. Regardless, I was entertained.

More on the Dallas vs. Green Bay game

Don't know if any of you had a chance to read this, but I read some interesting thoughts about the game on js through a Q&A with Leroy Butler.

1. While the game was not very close in the end, we have to remember that we were missing 3 out of 4 starters in the secondary for most of the game. Likely due to this, we gave up the big run to Felix Jones (poor angle taken by the safety whoever he is), and the 2 big passes to that nobody receiver with 8 career receptions going into the game. That being said, if our starters play throughout....the game may have had a completely different outcome. Unfortunately it looks like Harris is OFY so the secondary could be a glaring weakness from here on out considering the lack of depth we have in that department (that is a whole different and touchy subject and should be discussed a different day).

2. What I found most interesting about this was that Leroy said after watching the 2 QB's play side by side for an entire game, he feels that ARodg is the better quarterback. I was surprised by this at first, but the more I thought about it and the points that he was making regarding this made a lot of sense. It would be interesting to see how Romo would play without so much fire power.

Back to Sports for a minute...

As noted in my previous post, Phase I of the Softball's Tony Gwynn plan to the post-season has been accomplished. Now its our turn to take care of our business and get this thing done. Go Cubs!

Also, is anyone else really excited about the fact that the new Brewers low A affiliate is going to be the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers in Appleton. Now our newly drafted rookies will be playing ball a few hours north. Its a great deal for the T-Rats as I'm sure there will be even more interest in the team now that we might see some of these guys with the Brewers at some point.

Did Anyone Watch the Heroes Season Premier Last Night?

I need to complain about it to somebody. Does anybody even watch this show? I know at least three (and maybe four) of you are X-Men fans, and Heroes is a blatant rip-off of X-Men ... so ... anybody want to bitch about it with me?

Shit, Dog, Your Spleen.

SBTG brought this up in a comment below, but it merits its own post: Al Harris could be lost for the year with a ruptured spleen.

I don't want to pat myself on the back or anything, but, right when Harris went down, I turned to D3S and said: "Oh, fuck, that looked like his spleen. I hope he doesn't start peeing blood."

New mission for the day: since Jarrett Bush already has laid claim to the "Toast" nickname, what are we going to call Tramon Williams?

How the Brewers will make the playoffs!

today is half game day...go Cubs! After tonight we are one back. The Mets end the season with 4 vs Cubs and 3 vs. Marlins for the last regular season games at Shea. why not end Shea's tenure in typical Mets fashion...with a late season collapse and a failed playoff bid. And boy is that tiebreaker on Monday going to be difficult to swallow.

Brewers need to sweep Pirates (which they've done several times this year)
Mets split with Cubs in NY
Brewers take 2 out of 3 from the playoff resting Cubs in Miller Park Mets take 2 out of 3 from Marlins this weekend.

Tiebreaker game in Shea on Monday.

The Packer Experience

A couple quick thoughts from my first Packers night game experience last night:

- Always, always take Monday off after attending a Packer night game
- Never, ever drive through Taco John's on your way home - my bunghole hurts
- Always make sure there's no random Cowboy fans sitting near Rubie Q
- Don't engage drunk Packer whores in conversation like soon-to-be-Ms DT3 did last night
- If a group of four 60 year olds are sitting in front of you and they are all wearing headphones so they can listen to Wayne Larrivee, don't spill beer on their seat or they will bitch about it all game
- For the fans' safety, Packer flags should not be distributed at games
- The Packers can't stop the run
- The Cowboys are good, really good
- The dude in Section 104, row 60, seat 24ish really wants people to be loud at Packer games. He wants us to quit sitting on our hands, get off our La-Z-Boys and quit acting like we are at a funeral. Not surprisingly, this guy has a goatee and is morbidly obese

We Need to Break the Post Record

Therefore, here are some random college football musings as I down a dangerous amount of Miller High Life:

If USC doesn't run through the rest of the year undefeated, can we relegate them? The Pac 10 is so fucking bad, I think Northern Illinois would qualify for a bowl. WSU is a disaster, UW is embarrassing, OSU got their shit rocked at Penn St, Oregon got schooled at home against Boise, Cal was never competitive against a bad Maryland team, Stanford lost by 3 scores at TCU, UCLA lost by 59 fucking points against the Mormons, ASU blew a 10 point 4th quarter lead to UNLV and Arizona lost at New Mexico. Ick, just a fucking Obama-nation! Get it? I made a pun off the presidential candidate's name!!

Speaking of relegation...can NBC get their money back on the ND contract? How many ring wearing d-bags are out there to watch ND lose every week? Ok, full disclosure, I usually watch some of the ND games for the car wreck factor. I just want to see the carnage and the hope, however infintessimal (spelling?), that I will see a decapitated head. The audacity, the audacity of hope!!

The ACC - we'll continue on the relegation theme. Can we relegate a whole fucking conference? Anyone else watching the pillow fight between Wake and FSU? Holy shit, normally pillow fights evoke positive emotions, but this is like watching the Girls of the Big 10 in the latest Playboy conduct a pillow fight. Ick, motherfucking ick! It's like an NFL game, and not only an NFL game, but a Ravens-Bills catastrophe. It's a battle of the field goals. 9-3 in the 3rd.

On to the SEC, no relegation talk here, they play some fucking ball. UGA is rolling ASU and Auburn and LSU are battling it out in an ugly, yet wildly entertaining game.

Holly Rowe is ugly. Is she attempting a cleavage shot tonight? Cover that shit up!

One final thought for now. Anyone else really fucking bothered by the fake, fluttering banners for each school that fly in the fake background whenever they show the announcers during an ABC/ESPN game? Lame as hell.

Hope sinks... like a chubby first baseman

I realized that less than a half hour ago I posted a blog about how hopeful I was.  F that!  Thank you for sabotaging a season Prince.  You really couldn't pick up that bunt?  Really?  We are now down 4 - 2 in the seventh.  I am depressed.  I'm going to drink tonight.

Still holding out hope.

Once again, I know I'm in the minority, but I am still watching this team play games and I still have a little glimmer of hope that they might do something.  I know that the possibility of them actually making the playoffs is very slim.  But I'm still hanging on.

We are looking at the Mets and Phillies.  The Mets have been known to choke leads and games away in the past.  The Phillies are usually the ones taking advantage of the Mets, so maybe they will keep doing that.  Either way, why does it have to be us?  I know that it usually is, but it doesn't have to be.

I will keep the hope alive for this blog.  It is either going to be a good thing that I will be at all of the games of the final homestand.  I'm sure something interesting will happen during that time.  Maybe a Cubs fan will storm the field and get torn in half while being tackled.  We can all hope.

Ugh.

I am not feeling well today. Part of it is the head cold, part of it is that my soul was ripped out of my body yesterday by Geovany Soto.

There's nothing that can be said at this point, other than this:

"Are you surprised at my tears, sir?"

"Dude, fuckin' A!"

"Strong men also cry. Strong men ... also cry."

Thoughts Thru 6 Innings

Brad Nelson - he is the Phil Fulmer of the Milwaukee Brewers. Who wants a corndog??

Lou Pinella - what would you rather see? This fat Hispanic-ish turd take 15 minutes to waddle to the mound or the twin bed that Fontenot/Theriot share?

Mike Cameron - NOT A FREAKING LEADOFF HITTER!! Damn squandered opportunities!!

Ben Sheets - still a bitch

Will we use more pitchers than our total number of hits in the game?

What We've Learned Thru 4 1/2 Innings

Ben Sheets - still a bitch

Prince Fielder - wow! He must have really hated Ned Yost. Or he really likes Wrigley. Dude is raking! Thanks for taking the reins Prince. Lead us to October.

Corey Hart - send him to the Manny Parra glue factory

Todd Coffey - this has disaster written all over it

Rickie Weeks - no complaints here, he isn't playing

"Karma Police" - good song and nice job by our middle reliever

Marquis - biggest schnoz ever

To our bullpen tonight...

You get this award.  You had some big brass balls tonight.  I hope you can keep it up.  We are going to need it.

Forearm tightness or just normal sand in the vagina?

Thank you Mr. Sheets for taking a huge dump in your pants when we need you the most.  Way to hang your team out to dry in a game that they desperately need.  You had a 3 - 1 lead.  What more do you want this early in the game?  A hummer from Hardy?  That happens later.  But not now since you decided to be a huge f*cking vaginal discharge.

I have been holding out hope and believing that we are still in this thing.  I really hope that Mark "Dream Police" Difelice can hold on and get this team a win when our "ace" that we started the year with bitched out.

Can you tell I'm upset?

Queef. 

Well, That Was Fast.

Wow, Chiller: way to take a nice long look at your quarterback of the future before pulling the plug:

No coach had more faith in his quarterback than coach Brad Childress had in Tarvaris Jackson, who has made 16 career starts. But Childress named [Gus] Frerotte the starter for the remainder of the season, announcing the decision at his Wednesday media availability.

Two things:

(1) Is this the same Gus Frerotte who once missed time after headbutting the end zone wall while celebrating a touchdown? Yes, yes it is. Yeah, I'll take the odds that he manages to get himself hurt before the end of the year.

(2) As a general matter, this "he's going to start for the rest of the year" shit drives me nuts. Why not just say that he'll start the next game, and you'll evaluate it after that? What if dude throws for 45 yards with three picks in the next game? You've already committed to him as your quarterback for the rest of the year -- after you committed to Jackson as your starter for the year in the preseason. In short, saying shit like this makes you look like an indecisive, ineffectual tool.

Which is exactly what we're looking for in our Vikings coach. Keep up the good work, Chiller.

2009 Brewers Schedule...

For those of you who have given up on the 2008 Brewers or if you are just interested in next year's schedule it was released today by MLB.

http://milwaukee.brewers.mlb.com/schedule/index.jsp?c_id=mil&m=4&y=2009

2009 Highlights:

4/7-4/9-Open season in San Francisco
4/10-4/12-Home Opener vs. Cubs...who's stupid ass idea was this?
4/17-4/25-First 3 city road trip vs Mets (new stadium), Philly, and Houston
5/4-5/7-Two 2 game series at Pitt and Cincy (road trip?)
5/8-5/10-Home against the Cubs again.
5/15-5/24-2nd 3 city road trip vs. St. Louis, Houston and Minnesota

Interleague Opponents:

6/12-6/14-White Sox in Miller Park
6/15-6/21-At Indians and Tigers
6/23-6/25 Home vs Twins

7/2-7/5 at Cubs
7/31-8/9-Third 3 city road trip at San Diego, Los Angeles, and Houston

September Series:
at Cards
vs Giants
vs Cards
at D'backs
at Cubs (4)
vs. Astros
vs Cubs
vs. Phillies
at Colorado
End with 3 games in October at St. Louis

Today's Line-Up...

We really need a win and Sheets vs Marquis might be our best chance...if I were interim manager this would be my line-up:

Durham 2B
Hardy-hell maybe evenEscobar SS
Braun-if Kapler is healthy I give Braun a night off, maybe put Dillon here
Fielder
Cameron
Gywnn-even gywnn jr would be a better option that Hart at this point
Counsel/Lamb-either one here
Rivera-good things happen when he's in the line-up and we could use his bat...plus Kendall can't catch every day can he?
Sheets-time to get back to Ace stuff

Apologies to Rubie for my text message outburst last night...I'm just not going to give up hope yet, we are only a half game back with 11 games left

Distracted: "hey dude, did you see those?"

So, after an almost-comeback win I think I may have figured out what the problem is... we're distracted. Most importantly, in the ninth tonight Prince probably saw someone eating a delicious Chicago-style hotdog. And in Philly you ask? Cheese-steaks beeotches. He's a man. And he's craving the meat... but not the man-meat, yet.

As for the rest of the team... boobies galore. When you go from looking at these to looking at these (probably not safe for work) or definitely these (totally not safe for work)... there are going to be problems.

Everybody knows the chicks dig J.J. and when he's looking at some nasty chick who wants his "flavor saver" it's easier to focus on baseball. Same goes for the rest of team.

Anyway, not sure where I was going with this but I like boobies.

Not sure what he's watching.

Since not much more can be said about the crap on the field, we should start talking about the crap in the booth.  Luckily for me I only have to sit through a TV broadcast of road games.  Brian Anderson was pretty bad last year.  He really didn't seem to know what was going on and it really didn't seem like he had a great understanding of the game.  It also seemed like Schroeder really didn't like him and took every opportunity to point out that he was an idiot.

I thought that he was doing better this year, but lately it seems like he has gotten worse.  He has said a couple of things lately that have made me wonder if he is even watching the same game that we are.  He can read a promo like nobody's business, but I'm still not a huge fan of his play by play.

I'm just looking for other things to concentrate on since we are down 3 - 0 and I just saw a guy in a Cubs hat and Notre Dame sweatshirt on TV.  I hate this game right now.

Let's Get Sveum-y.

Your inaugural Dale Sveum line-up, brought to you by Jagermeister and Red Bull:

CF Mike Cameron
2B Ray Durham
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
SS JJ Hardy
RF Corey Hart
3B Craig Counsell
C Jason Kendall
P CC Sabathia

Yes! This is the kind of decisive leadership we were missing! Only Dale Sveum has the man-sack to bat a guy with a lower OBP than Rickie Weeks in the lead-off spot! Fuck yeah!

Monday Afternoon Smart-Assery: ITEM!

(1) The Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Club: Where Ownership Changes, But Incompetence Is Still The Name Of The Game, Part Deux:

I'm speechless.

You axe His Former Highness with twelve games left in the year?

How ... what ... why now ... who made the call ...

So many questions at this hour. The only things we know/can surmise/can rampantly speculate at this point: (1) It appears that our owner has a touch of Steinbrenner in him. (2) This gives new meaning to "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic."

Yosty Fired!

It's been fairly evident over the past weeks that the media and fans and maybe management and players have grown sick and tire of Ned's lack of results, management style, and attitude towards answering questions. If we don't make the playoffs he's gone regardless so maybe this is a last ditch effort to light a fire under the team's ass and make a run over the next few weeks. And if we don't he'd be gone anyway so the timing makes perfect sense.

So I don't disagree with the decision, but I'm not looking forward to the Brewers in the coming years which makes this past few weeks all the more painful.

Yost fired.

But they put Sveum in charge. At least the team might be drunk the entire last two weeks of the season then. It can only help.

Your Monday Morning Smart-Assery.

Busy weekend. With apologies to the great Tim Keown, let's get to it:

(1) It was oft-said that the only benefit of the Brewers Collapse of '07 was that it would serve as a 'learning experience': Left unsaid was that the Collapse served as a learning experience for Brewers fans, not the players or coaches. The lesson, as always: never trust a Ned Yost-led team, no matter how big the lead.

Anyone shocked that the Brewers got swept in Philly? The lone surprise was that the Brewers held the Phils to 6 runs in the nightcap of yesterday's double-header. I penciled the Phillies for a 12-2 win.

(2) A variation on SB's Tony Gwynn's beloved 'If I had told you before the start of the season...' line: If I had told you before the start of the season that the Brewers would treat you to another epic bed-shitting at the end of the season, pissing away yet another formidable lead ... would you have bothered to watch the past five months of baseball?

Close call for me. I probably would have watched when CC pitched, just so I could tell my grandkids that the Brewers (who, by the time I have grandkids, will be playing in Rockford and be renamed the Peaches) once had a legitimate ace on their staff.

(3) The Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Club: Where Ownership Changes, But Incompetence Is Still The Name Of The Game: Let me get this straight: we've decided to let Frank Kremblas go because the Sounds -- stripped of all useful parts and forced to play Tony Gwynn, Jr. for much of the season -- limped to the finish, but Ned Yost got to coach this year despite the fact that his teams have collapsed in the second half of every season he's been the manager? (Holy terrible syntax, Batman.) Makes sense.

(4) Your weekend Yosting: I didn't bother to watch the game on Saturday -- I mean, you had to see that Parra was going to dick the dog (credit to Sheets' Va Jay Jay) there -- so I don't know if King Ned fucked up at all. I did catch parts of the double-header yesterday, though, so I can comment on two things:

(a) I understand moving Jon Hart to the lead-off spot, since he's proven himself completely worthless as a five hitter over the last month. But why, why why WHY WHY WHY do you move BRAUN to the five-spot? He homered on Saturday, yes? Showed signs of coming out of his malaise, eh? So you're going to get him less at-bats by hitting him fifth? Move Durham there. Move Cameron there. Both are better options than Hart, and both allow Braun to hit third.

(b) You're Ned Yost. You're tied in the eighth inning of a must-have game. Your best reliever over the last month (I can't believe I actually typed those words), Bill Mota, has given up a lead-off single. With Utley and Howard coming up, you decide to bring in your leftie specialist, 84-year-old Brian Shouse. After Utley bunts the lead-off man to second, you decide to walk Howard. Can't much quibble with this, since he's owned every Brewers pitcher in this series.

Up comes Pat Burrell with two on and one out. You decide to leave Brian Shouse in the game.

Riiiiiiiight.

Are you trying to get yourself fired at this point?

(4) "Boy, that Favre, he just loves the game so much, look at him sitting on the bench all by himself, not talking to anyone -- he's like a kid in a candy store, I tell ya": How's that decision working out, No. 4? Happy that Bill Belichick gets to fuck with your head again in a few weeks? Enjoying the scrutiny of the New York fans?

Who had Week 2 in the "Week that Brett Favre throws a back-breaking interception and Jets fans realize, 'Hey, this guy looks kind of old out there'"?

(5) Ted Thompson would like to invite you to enjoy a warm glass of 'shut the fuck up': Sorry 'bout that, Mr. Thompson, sir. Maybe you do know what you're doing. We'll sit quietly now, sir. Yes, sir, we do understand that you would be well within your rights to tell us all to 'get fucked' after the way we treated you this summer. Yes, sir, we are glad that you're a good Christian and won't use the words 'get fucked.'

(6) Big 11 football fever -- like shingles, only more painful: Maybe you could bring the varsity team next time, Mr. Tressel?

And as for you, DickRod: Notre Dame is so fucking shitty that their coaches are getting hurt during the games, and you still can't beat them? What the fuck is going on with that white running back? Are you channeling Travis Jervey?

The only good thing about the weekend: Wisconsin wins again. No, I'm not sick. I just happen to know that, historically, the Badgers play like dog-shit when the most is expected of them. Top 10 ranking? Check. Favored team in the Big 11? Check. Monumental collapse ...

The Silence is deafening

That's all I have to say about that.

Time for beers...

Cubs are up quite a bit at Miller Park... on the road, Suppan fucked it up pretty good and the Brew Crew look horrific. Today's Brewers-collapse drinking binge is brought to you by New Glarus' Staghorn Octoberfest. If you haven't tried it, I highly suggest you pick up a 6er.

Painfully obvious

After watching the 1st game and 1 inning of game two, it has become painfully obvious how superior the Phillies really are compared to the Crew. A lineup of Rollins, Utley, Werth, Howard, Burrell, Victorino....my lord. 3 potential MVP candidates every year. Aside from Howard they all put the ball in play consistently, and even though Howard strikeouts out a ton, when he puts it in play he hits the shit out of it. And what I used to think was a superior starting staff has deteriorated leaving one legit guy in CC. 5-0 in the 2nd with Hamels on the hill. This game is over. This series is over. This season is over. I can't see how the team will be able to flip the switch at this point. The momentum has swung completely away from us and with our inability to hit the ball I can't see how we can consistently score to win some ball games. The only positive that I can take out of this whole thing is that Ned Yost will likely get canned and we can start over again. Maybe this post will ginx Hamels outing and they will be able to steal this game.

Coin Flip and Monday...

Playoff for NL East New York Mets at Philadelphia
Playoff for NL Central Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee
Playoff for NL West Arizona at Los Angeles Dodgers
Playoff for NL Wild Card

Milwaukee at Philadelphia
Milwaukee at Houston
Milwaukee at St. Louis
Houston at Philadelphia
St. Louis at Philadelphia
Houston at St. Louis

Despite the headline on Brewers.com to the contrary the coin flip for home field for any playoff tiebreakers were conducted tonight. The Brewers would face the Scrubs at home if there was a miracle for the division title, otherwise the Crew is on the road to face Philly, Houston, St. Louis. Maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing.

So apparently the weather is really shitty in Philly today and the game will most likely be called due to weather. Both teams have an off day Monday so would they play double header on Sunday or play the last game of the series on Monday? If its not until Monday, maybe Nedly would realize the importance of this series (get a game on the Wild Card leader/closest team) and pitch CC on Monday and move Soup to the start of the Cubs series. I know it probably won't happen and the line-up will just move back one day, but it might be worth considering.

Magic number still 13!

Now We Have A Problem.

I knew Jon Hart (you're fucking 26 years old, the "Corey" thing stopped being cute about, oh, eighteen years ago) was an idiot. I didn't realize he was dumb enough to say something like this:

"Actually, it felt more like a home game than playing in Miller Park," said Hart, who has no home runs and two RBI this month. "We didn't hear the boos that we sometimes here [sic] at home. That's the way it goes. Everybody's expecting (the team) to win. I guess they have a reason to be frustrated because we haven't been winning.

"It's not a lack of hustle or effort. A guy makes an error, a guy strikes out and you hear your home town booing you. It makes you ready to get out of there and go somewhere else for awhile. I think we're all looser here."

Congratulations, Jon. In the same week that we permanently dissolved the "I Am A MAN" Club, I am proud to announce that you are the founding member of the Jon Hart "I Am A LITTLE WHINY BITCH" Club. Something tells me your membership in this club will last a lot longer than you membership in the "I Am A MAN" Club did.

You fucking redneck.

MikeHunt Takes Another Provocative Stance:

This trip critical to making post-season

As far as headlines go, this is up there with "Speaker says learning a lifelong process."

But the Milwaukee Brewers were about to step into a different set of shadows Wednesday, the shadows of a season.

Lose again to the Cincinnati Reds, which they were greatly in danger of doing even with CC Sabathia, and who knows, the year could’ve been as over as John Edwards’ political career.

Hey-o! Zingers like this will make NBC reconsider its decision to give Conan O'Brien's show to Jimmy Fallon. Funny man, that MikeHunt!

Not to attach any more pressure to, what, a quarter-century’s worth of October blackouts, but everything sort of does come down to the next 10 games on the road.

"Sort of"? Where the fuck does "sort of" work its way into this equation?

And how exactly are you attaching more pressure to this road trip? Oh, that's right: because you're MikeHunt, and you're a very important person.

"Men, gather round. I know we've talked about how important this road trip is, but I just want you to know that MikeHunt says we have to make hay in the next 10 games. I know it's a lot of pressure, what with how important MikeHunt is and all. But try to put that out of your minds and go out and play ball."

Yost talked about the nervousness and the panic that accompanied the ’07 slide right back into Brewer Land. He talked about how none of that is present now with the calming influence of the veterans like Cameron and Sabathia and Jason Kendall, veterans who weren’t here to talk the kids, and, who are we kidding, Yost down from the ledge last season.

I have to call bullshit on this. Didn't we have a fuckload of veterans with play-off experience last year? Counsell? Graffanino? Linebrink? Suppan? Damian Miller? Ray King (at the end of the year)? And I'm supposed to believe that Jason Kendall is going to kiss the boo-boos and make it all better?

This is fucking retarded. We're not going to win this season because Jason Kendall and Mike Cameron are playing Go Fish with Hardy and Weeks on the charter, just like we didn't lose last season because we were too inexperienced. If having veterans on the team is so fucking important, why are the Yankees languishing in fourth place behind the Rays, Sox, and Jays? Oh. That's right. Because they haven't pitched well, haven't hit well, and haven't played good D.

Listen, I like Kendall as much as the next guy (his unceremonious booting from the "I Am A MAN" Club notwithstanding). But can we stop acting like the guy is some kind of fucking Svengali who can make the young'uns play better through force of will?

Thank you.

Philly Preview & Predictions

This is a series fraught with danger. The Brewers are 4 games up on not only the Phillies, but suddenly the Astros and Cardinals! Holy shit Batman, that's what happens when you fail to properly secure the door at an MU party. The next thing you know, assholes like the Al-toids and random bums asking for gas money have infested your party and are drinking your beer. We didn't really have girls, but if we did, they would be fucking our women...on the washing machine. On the bright side, the Crew is playing on the road, which has to be better than the nervous, quietly poisonous atmosphere of Miller Park, particularly with DT3 attending (0-5 since last Tuesday)

Game 1 - Sheets vs Moyer: Biggest start of Sheets's career, the Olympics don't count. Moyer, well, he wrote the Book of Leviticus, which means Braun will strike out multiple times. This game is really, really important and I'm really concerned b/c we don't hit soft tossers well and Torres can't pitch a 4th day in a row. In normal circumstances, I'd like our chances, but not here. 4-2 Phils on a bullpen spit the bit job after a SOLID Sheets start.

Game 2 - Parra vs Hamels: I just vomited in my mouth. Reid and I saw a fat woman who had pissed herself after the game on Tuesday. That will be Parra on Friday. I'll be delighted if he goes 5 and only gives up 4. Chances of that? Zero. Because Parra is the biggest fucking pussy on the team. 10-2 Phils.

Game 3 - Bush vs Blanton: What a treat for America on the Fox Saturday game of the week, a Dave Bush-Joe Blanton matchup. I wish the result would be determined by a Bush-Blanton foot race, then we'd be a shoe-in. I think we'll get to Blanton because he'll be distracted by the cheesesteak in his back pocket. Another solid start for Bush, I'm starting to come around on this guy. He's not an anchor for the rotation but I'll take Dave Bush as a 4 or 5 any day. Brewers win 5-3.

Game 4 - Suppan vs Kendrick: PILLOW FIGHT!! I am really starting to hate Jeff Suppan. The guy sucks asshole. He nibbles with shitty ass hitters, then walks them and then they score. Simply ass equation. But, he's our most experienced pitcher. I don't know what to say here - I'm torn. I guess we'll get the same craptacular start from Soup - 6 innings, four runs. Brewers lose 6-4.

That's it folks, our best chance for a win is when Dave Bush starts. We have to root for a Cubs sweep of Houston. I hate this game of baseball.

Magic Number now 14...could be 13 by night's end

do we cheer for Cards or Cubs tonight? i'd rather get closer to Cubs and maintain advantage over Cards tonight

Cue TAPS

Executive Order No. 08-7364.

Effective immediately:

The Corey Hart "I Am A MAN" Club has been permanently disbanded. Each of the members has violated one or more of the rules contained in the Club's charter:

Corey Hart -- OBP lower than Rickie Weeks. Immediate banishment from Club.

Ryan Braun -- Alleged 'star' of the team has disappeared when team needs him most. Immediate banishment from Club.

Jason Kendall -- Started playing like he's 37 years old. Also: has less pop in his bat than Craig Counsell. Immediate banishment from Club.

CC Sabathia -- Gave up three-run home run to Jerry Fucking Hairston. Fuck, man, I could strike out Jerry Fucking Hairston. Immediate banishment from Club.

That is all, gentlemen. May God have mercy on your souls.

Magic # now 15, still 3 up!

That's all for now...nothing else really to say. Come on CC, let's get this upcoming road trip started with a win today. Atleast Weeks, Hart and Hall are out of the line-up today.

Speechless

I don't know what to say other than the ship is sinking.......fast. 2-7 in our last 9 at home. Even IF we win today our confidence going into the Philly series has to be at a season low. I'm done with this agravation. This is Eric signing off. Good luck to the rest of you.

OK, now I'm angry!

According to Ned Yost, they need to "keep grinding until we catch some breaks (get lucky) and have things go our way".

So if I'm reading this correctly, the team that is leading the wild card and was one of the hottest teams in July/August needs to rely on luck to make it to the post season? Is that what this has boiled down to? Ned himself has lost enough confidence in his players (or his coaching) that he feels shear chance is what we are going to need to put us over the top. Really? Unbelievable! How about instead of stroking their head and patting them on the back when they do something wrong, kick them in the ass a little! They are men, not 8 year old boys on a little league team. I am sick and tired of his spineless attitude and approach to the game. I hope that we can someday have a real leader at the helm. Hek, I'll take Ozzie Guillen at this point. He's crazy but at least he makes people accountable for their play. Am I the only one that thinks like this?

On the Bright Side......

The much anticipated debut of Aaron Rodgers versus our conference rival, not to mention division contender, could not have gone much better! My main concern going into the game was not so much whether Green Bay wins or loses the game, but can Rodgers play to his potential and temporarily remove that monkey named Brett Favre off of his back. I think that it's safe to say.....mission accomplished! Not only did the Pack get the W, but Aaron came out and played poised, was efficient, and dare I say was brilliant. 18-22, 2 td (1rushing), and a 3rd 50-60 yard beautiful pump and go to Driver that was null due to an offensive lineman penalty.......again. Not only was the play executed perfectly, but it was an audible made at the line and displayed the raport and comfort level that Rodgers has with his receivers. So, if it wasn't for a Brewers bullpen meltdown against the lowly Reds (of which I didn't find out until I heard it on the radio on the way in to work), I would be in an even better mood than I already am.

A few more notes about the game: The offensive line play was mediocre to average at best. The penalties by them in the first half could have really ruined Rodgers' first start and I would have hated to lose a game due to idiotic play by the O-line. Thank god they didn't. This, I will temporarily classify under the early season rust category. Furthermore, they didn't exactly open very many holes for the rb's. Aside from that 50 yard run from Grant, they were dominated by Minnesota's D-line pretty much the entire game. Their performance was especially unacceptable when they were inside the 5. This is definitely something that needs to improve as the season goes on. Again, I will give them a slight break as the Vikings' D-line is probably the best in football, however I expect them to be a little more confident and tough at home where there isn't a damn viking flute playing in the background at all times. I hate that thing. In regards to the decision to kick at the end of the first half (scott, u knew I was going to say something about this), I still don't understand it. When 14 seconds are left, you have one timeout, and its 3RD DOWN, there is no reason you don't take at least one shot at the endzone. Hek, you can even potentially throw towards the sidelines inside the 10 and still have time for another play if you get the first down. The argument I typically received was "you have the lead, and you don't want to have Aaron make a mistake and ruin his confidence in his debut. Take the 3 points and go in to half with a 7 pt lead". A)Aaron Rodgers is a very confident guy. 1 pick isn't going to shatter him. And if 1 pick does ruin your confidence, you probably shouldn't be an NFL quarterback B) In regards to confidence, I think you shoot down his confidence more when you tell him to wind down the clock 10 more seconds on 3rd down inside the red zone. This tells him that you are afraid to put the ball in his hands because there is a good chance he can make a horrible mistake. C) While the odds of screwing up a FG are not as high as Rodgers throwing a pick or fumbling, there is still potential for it. Meaning the FG is no guarantee either. Case in point, last night, FG gets blocked and we come away with nothing anyway. Sure it's completely coincidental, but it strengthened my argument for taking a shot at the endzone there.

So, considering these are my only 2 topics of disappointment from last night, I think it's safe to say that overall it was a very positive performance and the future, temporarily, looks pretty good at this point (especially when i see how the Lions, Rams, Raiders, and Bengals play......boy am I glad we're not in their shoes). Bring on the cowardly lions!

Dr. Rubie Q Is Calling It:

Time of death: Approximately 9:55 p.m., September 8, 2008.

R.I.P., 2008 Brewers season.

(Takes away those electric paddle things from Drs. SB's Tony Gwynn and Sheets' Va Jay Jay)

Men -- stop. You've done all you can. It's over. They're gone.

(Dr. Va Jay Jay -- that sounds like a real doctor, doesn't it? Like an Indian dude or something -- begins to attempt CPR)

DAMMIT, MAN! IT'S OVER!

(Kicks over gurney, destroys hospital room)

The God Damn Plane Has Crashed Into the Mountain!

What the fuck is going on with the Brewers?! Bushie puts in a solid effort and Torres can't manage to hold a two run lead in the 9th against the Reds?!

Who Wants an Extra for Tomorrow?

Instead of emailing, I'm posting. I have an extra for tomorrow's game in the 400 level. Anyone want to join me? The ticket is $6, so you can buy me a tasty Miller beer and we'll be even. Who wants to see Suppan pitch?

Still Up 4...

yeah we are playing like shit right now but...

We are still up 4 in the wild card and only 4 back of the Scrubs with 19 games left to be played.

Our magic number for the wild card is 16.

So if the Phillies lose one game (on average) of their remaining 6 series, the Brewers need to win 10 games.

That's 10-9 over the last 19. Two out of three from the Reds at home, split with Phillies in Philly, 1 out of 3 in Wrigley, 1 out of 3 in cincy, 2 out of 3 vs Pirates, and 2 out of 3 from Scrubs at Miller Park after they've clinched the division will win the wild card.

We've got at least 8 more starts with CC and Sheets, assuming they each lose a start, the rest of the starters need 4 wins out of 11 chances.

Just keep trucking along and show up in Philly this weekend and we'll be all right.

Regarding Rose Colored Glasses

Here's why I'm panicking.  Look at Philly's remaining schedule:

2 @NYM

3 FLA

4 MIL

3 @ATL

3 @FLA

3 ATL

3 WSH

Even Brett Bielema and Barry Alvarez are embarrassed about that sked.  We have to split in Philly and CC isn't scheduled to start there.  I think CC has to pitch in that series or we could get rolled.  Soup should be all right, but Bush and Parra will be shitting themselves and Sheets will be out with a yeast infection.  0-7 at home against Chicago and New York...what does that translate to in seven consecutive games at Philly and Chicago, in the heart of the playoff race?  Maybe Mike Lamb will lead us to the promised land.

Back away from the ledge.

Thank you J.J. Hardy.  Even though you dicked the dog your first time around with the bases full of Brewers, you stayed the course and came through when we needed you.  We can only hope this ignites the team and we go on a roll.

Softball's TG and myself are ready to be in this thing for the long haul.  We are not selling this team out and we believe that we will still make the playoffs.  When this is all said and done we could be wrong, but we don't think we will be.

Who's joining us?

Let's hope Sheeters vagina holds together today and we smack around Peavy.

Rubie and D3S.  I hope you make it through the season.

The Goddamn Plane Has Crashed Into the Mountain

As the millionaire Jeffrey Lebowski said, "The goddamn plan has crashed into the mountain!!"  I can't properly summon the words to describe the steaming crater at Miller Park tonight.

• Impotent offense?  Check.
• Dominant CC start?  Check.
• Bullpen implosion?  Check.
• Gagne boo-fest?  Check.
• Another loss to the second worse team in the NL? Pending, but very, very likely.

I can just fucking hear it tonight from Yost: "Gagne's our 8th inning guy."

Brewers Sign Lamb.

Sadly, it's this one:
















Not this One:


























Which is too bad. The Prince of Peace can fuckin' rake.

You See That?

That's right, assholes. I put the Hindenburg picture back up.

Yeah, I'm not fucking around anymore.

The Hindenburg stays up until you fuckers start showing a little pep out there. To quote Rabbit in Supertroopers: "How 'bout a li'l pep out there? How 'bout li'l pep?"

When do we start to panic?

4 games in September. 4 losses in September. Fortunately enough the Cubs do what the Cubs tend to do and stumble down the stretch by losing 5 in a row and completely opening the door for us. Yet here we remain 5 back of the Cubs after averaging a paltry 2.5 runs per game over that 4 game stretch. At the same time, the St. Louis red birds have finally come back to earth and remain an unfeasible 10 games back of Chicago and 5 back from Milwaukee........so again, we're pretty fortunate thus far. All looks good from an NL central standpoint, but when I look at our NL brethren to the east, I see what looks to be our true playoff competition. Assuming that we are competing for the wild card, I have noticed that the Mets and Phills are sneaking up behind us (~ 2 games back) and have both gotten quite hot of late. With our series with the Phills about a week away, I am starting to worry how the Brewers are going to finish this season and that series in particular looks to be of great importance. If we happen to face Hamels, I will chalk that one up as a loss considering we can't even hit guys in their major league debuts these days (what else is new I guess). I don't have a major point to this piece other than after last years 2 month debacle, and our brutal 4 game start to september I am starting to get real worried. CC can only pitch once every 5 days, and the mentalities of Sheets, Parra, Bush, and even Suppan don't impress me enough to have confidence in their starts when we absolutely need a great performance. Combine that with our inability to hit with risp and I am beginning to lose confidence in their ability to close out the season while maintaining the wild card. It's not that we aren't hitting......of late we have had as many runners as our opponent yet we still manage to lose by a number of runs. So I don't know what's going to happen or how they are going to resolve their problems. Never mind, I know. Ned Yost's approach is, well, there isn't an approach. He just lets things work themselves out. I sure hope he knows what he is doing (actually I already know that he doesn't know what he is doing). It's a good thing we play cincy a couple times to boost our confidence.

Big East Conference Schedule

Thursday, Jan. 1Villanova at Marquette , 2:30 p.m., ESPN

Sunday, Jan. 4Cincinnati at Marquette

Wednesday, Jan. 7 Marquette at Rutgers

Saturday, Jan. 10 West Virginia at Marquette

Saturday, Jan. 17 Marquette at Providence, 9 p.m

Saturday, Jan. 24 DePaul at Marquette , 2 p.m., ESPN2

Monday, Jan. 26Marquette at Notre Dame, 7 p.m., ESPN

Saturday, Jan. 31 Georgetown at Marquette

Tuesday, Feb. 3 Marquette at DePaul

Friday, Feb. 6Marquette at USF

Tuesday, Feb. 10 Marquette at Villanova, 7:30 p.m., ESPN2

Saturday, Feb. 14 St. John’s at Marquette

Tuesday, Feb. 17 Seton Hall at Marquette

Saturday, Feb. 21Marquette at Georgetown

Wednesday, Feb. 25 Connecticut at Marquette , 7 p.m.,

Sunday, March 1 Marquette at Louisville , Noon, CBS

Wednesday, March 4 Marquette at Pittsburgh , 7:30 p.m.,

Saturday, March 7 Syracuse at Marquette

Class of 2009, ESPN #5 Ranking

So according to ESPN.com recruiting, the class of '09 with Cadougan, Maymon, and Williams is currently #5 in the nation behind North Carolina, Villanova, Georgetown, and Texas A&M (Big East has 5 of the top 11). This doesn't even include Dwight Buycks who alledgedly is the #1 ranked guard in juco. Pretty impressive for Brent's first runabout. With the subtraction of papa Mbakwe, Buzz has another opportunity to add another highly touted kid and challenge nova and G'town for the top 3. I perused the list of those that are interested in us with the top 3 being a 6'5" SG out of cali, a SF, and Jamil Wilson. So I'm taking a poll on what/who we think Buzz should target to solidify this roster. Should he target the best available talent regardless of position ie. Wilson when we already have Maymon and E.Williams for SF's? Should he look for more depth/talent in the front court as O'tule and Morrow are more big than talented? Or should he find that 2 guard that can shoot the lights out? I am torn between a shooting guard and power forward, but at this point I am leaning towards a SG based on the fact that we have some size with Hazel/O'Tule/Morrow and we are completely lacking in the sniper department. However, the jury is still out based on the fact that I don't know if our "bigs" are going to amount to anything. Thoughts?

Dear Dave Bush:

Come find me after the game. Let's take a dip in the hot tub together.

Yours,

A Toaster

Today's Lineup

Weeks
Hardy
Kapler
Braun
Hart
Rivera
Hall
Kendall
Bush

Why is Cameron getting another day off? Way to cool off our hottest hitter Ned Yost. I do like sitting Prince in this spot, particularly against a tough lefty.

Fuckin' Bucky...

Bucky's Men's Basketball Schedule was released today and per JSonline, their 18 game conference schedule includes a home and away game with all Big Ten teams except Michigan St. and Ohio St.

so that means Bucky, a potential top 25 team won't have to play two of the other conference's potential top 25 teams twice this year.

What a fucking joke!

Cause For Concern.

(1) In our last six games against teams leading their respective divisions (Cubs, Mets), we're 0-6.   More disturbingly, when we weren't getting blown out, we were making inexcusable mistakes (Kendall's error last night, Weeks throwing away the double play ball against the Cubs, Sheets melting down) that pissed the game away.

(2) Two games in a row, two brain locks by Yost.  Why, exactly, did he not order that Torres walk Endy Chavez with men on first and third and nobody out?  You have a sinkerball pitcher on the mound.  Don't you want to get a grounder to an infielder and have the force play at home?  Torres hasn't struck anybody out in the last month.  Please don't tell me we were expecting it in that spot.

(3) When's the last time Prince got a big hit?  He's frozen pizza right now.

(4) Don't look now, but the 'Stros are 73-66 and streaking, only 7 games back in the wild card and taking it to the Cubs.

NFL Predictions...

While anxiously waiting for my next cell phone call from Sheets' Va Jay Jay Saturday night to make my next fantasy NFL pick I decided to prediect the entire NFL season. Here's what I came up with:

NFC East
Dallas 12-4 - Big D loses the 4 games that Jessica Simpson attends incluing the Packer game
Philadelphia 10-6 Suprise team of NFC, earn wild card
NY Giants 9-7 Tough year with an depleted D and realization that offense isn't that good either
Washington 8-8 .500 for last place team in league's toughest division

NFC North
Minnesota 11-5 - If they only had a QB to go with AP and that defense (insert horn sound effect)
Green Bay 10-6 - Not to shabby for ARodg and Co., earn wild card
Detroit 6-10 - Time to draft another WR.
Chicago 4-12 - Time to draft a real QB

NFC South
New Orleans 12-4 - Saints are back again
Carolina 9-7 - No playoffs for Panthers
Tampa Bay 7-9 - Should have gotten Brett Favre
Atlanta 3-13- Rookie QB headed back to lottery pick.

NFC West
St. Louis 10-6 - Rams win horrible division.
Seattle - 8-8 - Last year for Holmgren ends after he snaps Hasselback's neck by grabbing facemask.
San Fransico 4-12 - JT O'Sullivan...really?
Arizona 3-13 - Another off-season of under age beer bongs for Matt Leinart

AFC East
New England 14-2 - Patriots back for more
NY Jets 10-6 - Earn wild card and earn Packers 2nd round pick. Favre decides to come back again...or maybe not...wait...ok fine I'll come back one more year.
Buffalo 5-12 - Time to move to Toronto
Miami 3-13 - Nothing creative to say.

AFC North
Pittsburgh 12-4 - A Big Ben without a sandy vagina
Cincinnati 9-7 - Miss playoff but Ocho Cinco entertains as per usual
Cleavland 8-8 - Despite Derek Anderson's 39 touchdown passes, Browns miss playoffs
Baltimore 6-10 - Another rookie QB, but defense helps

AFC South
Indianapolis 12-4 - Repeat of last few years, only to lose in playoffs again
Tennessee 10-6 - Surprise AFC team, make playoffs lead by Vince Young
Jacksonville 9-7 - Disappointing year starting with teammate getting shot yesterday.
Houston 4-12 - Maybe should have re thought this whole NFL expansion thing.

AFC West
San Diego 13-3 - Finally their year in the AFC
Denver 10-6 - Great year, but miss playoffs due to tie-breaker
Kansas City 8-8 - Larry Johnson returns to his former self and wins comeback player of the year
Oakland 4-12 - Rookie QB and RB, and WR that wants to give back money...that's never good.

Wild Card Games
Green Bay beats St. Louis
Minnesota beats Philadelphia
Pittsburgh beats Tennessee
Indianapolis beats NY Jets

Divisional
New Orleans beats Green Bay
Dallas beats Minnesota
San Diego beats Indianapolis
New England beats Pittsburgh

Conference Finals
Dallas beats New Orleans
San Diego beats New England

Super Bowl
Dallas beats San Diego

Random Thoughts...

Brewers - We are now 80-57, that's 23 games above .500. Two more wins and we guarantee ourselves another winning season and that could happen as early as September 4th...not 24th. If we go 10-15 in our last 25 games that's still 90 wins. Unbelievable. We have a 5 1/2 game lead in the Wild Card and are only 4 1/2 games behind the slumping Cubs with 6 more games head to head and a tougher schedule for the Cubs. Its also rough when the only thing you can bitch about for the past week or so regarding the Brewers was Chuckie New Town (I stand corrected on the waking a sleeping giant comment) getting too excited about getting out a based loaded jam, a shitty scoring decision robbing our ace of a no hitter, a "tight" groin, and a bad inning by the 8th inning guy on a day when the 3 teams you are most concerned with (Cubs, Cards, Phillies) all lost. Life is good in Brew town and its going to be a fun couple of months.

Packers - Finally the stupid pre-season is upon us. After the whole Brett Favre thing I was still behind Ted Thompson, but now I don't understand what the hell he's doing. He cuts our average punter, who happens to hold the kicks for our kicker, one week before the start of the season for another teams average punter who was just cut so now one week before the season our new punter needs to get familiar with our kicker. Oh, and we have a new long snapper too after he hurt his knee. How a guy whose only job is to long snap can hurt his knee is beyond me.

Bucks - Still don't care

Badgers - Finally have the BTN...thank god I found it. Watched a little of Indiana and some other shitty schools men's soccer game yesterday.

Marquette - I know we've had this discussion before about Mbwake leaving for personal reasons etc. Turns out he's rumored to have enrolled at Miami Dade County Junior College and might potentially be a Miami Hurricane next year. Hmmm, I thought he was from Minneapolis. Maybe his personal reason is he can't hack it at Marquette. Oh and can we see a god dam schedule yet?

Fantasy Football - For what its worth, doing your fantasy football draft from your wife's childhood bedroom via cell phone is not nearly as fun as getting together with 12 of your friends. But, if Derek Anderson, Randy Moss, and Larry Johnson and the rest of "I Hate Wranglers" play to their potential, I might make this an annual event ;-)

Politics - McCain stole all of Obama's thunder with his selection of the chick from Alaska as his VP choice, then 3 days later a Hurricane postpones the first day of the convention which allows the media to spend the entire day talking about her unmarried pregnant teenage daughter and her "trooper gate" scandal in Alaska that could be resolved 3 days before the election. Whether your are a D or R... this is going to be an interesting election to say the least.

College Football - Finally started this past weekend. Didn't watch too much, but saw the second half of the UCLA/Tennessee game. Wow that was a great college football game. That QB had 4 INT's in the first half, unbelievable. Too bad it always seems to come down to a missed FG.

Yosted.

It's been a pretty good year for Ned Yost. After The Debacle of '07, it appears that King Ned realized that, when your young but talented team is in the throes of an epic bed-crapping, it's best not to join in and start over-managing to insane extremes, like changing your line-up every day and manhandling your bullpen to the point that Carlos Villanueva can't lift his right arm. The better course of action with a talented team is to let them work it out -- set your line-up, give people defined roles, and let the cream rise to the top. Granted, King Ned's taken things to the opposite extreme -- using the same line-up, in terms of position, for almost forty games in a row, despite the fact that there is not one fucking reason that Craig Counsell should ever hit above 7th -- but, all things considered, it ain't been too bad.

(Note: It also helps to be able to throw CC out there every five days. It's pretty hard to screw it up when a guy is a guaranteed 8 innings in every game.)

And then, every once in a while, King Ned gets a bug in his ass and decides he has to show people that he's still making decisions. Take yesterday, for example: men on first and second, nobody out, with your hottest hitter -- The Artist Formerly Known as The Corpse of Mike Cameron -- coming up.

And King Ned calls for a sacrifice bunt.

For a moment, look beyond the fact that Cameron has been NBA Jam-style "oh my, he's on fire!" for a couple weeks now. Look at who was waiting to take his turn at the dish following the sac bunt: Bill Fucking Hall.

Listen, I know he's better against lefties. But, for fuck's sake, if you watched his first at-bat against Santana, you knew that he was striking out against that motherfucker every single time. The Riders of Johan threw Billy Brew three straight change-ups after starting with a fastball, and Hall wasn't close to any of them. Bill Hall isn't nearly smart enough to adapt at-bat to at-bat against someone like Santana. A strikeout was damn near preordained in that spot.

Bunting to get to Bill Hall so frustrated me that I was unable to find a satisfactory curse word, instead having to blend "Christ," "fuck," "assrammer," and "cunt-swab" into an indecipherable amalgamation. (It turned out something like "Ass-fu-Chri-cunt-ram," if you're wondering.)

I beg you, King Ned. Don't do shit like this. I like where things are going here. Please don't whip your dick out and piss all over it again.

A thousand apologies...

I'm sorry.  It was a long weekend and I was very tired.  I guess that's why I got tight today.  I hope to not be tight for too much longer.

Please don't blame me.  Blame the French-Canadian.