Friday, October 31, 2008
After reading this article, I can't really think of a much better way to go (besides two chicks at the same time). I mean, he was probably playing his favorite sport. Hanging out with his buddies for the last 45 years. The guy probably had a beer or two while getting primed for that perfect game; maybe some nachos or a pack of combos from the vending machine.
Way to go Donny!
It's coincidental, but probably instructive, that Ken Macha last managed in the area where the latest player/coach blowup occurred.
From where I sit, it looks entirely coincidental and not the least bit instructive, Mike. But I'm sure you'll illuminate us in the next 'graph.
San Francisco 49ers interim coach Mike Singletary became a YouTube sensation after he kicked an attitudinally challenged tight end off the field Sunday. A lot of managers and coaches privately applauded Samurai Mike for doing something they'd willingly take repeated prostate exams to do, but know they can't because of the nature of the game.
I'm sorry, what was that?
A lot of managers and coaches privately applauded Samurai Mike for doing something they'd willingly take repeated prostate exams to do, but know they can't because of the nature of the game.
Wow. Let's clean up this sentence, shall we?
In exchange for the joy of booting a player from the game, many coaches would willingly have shit shoved up their ass.
Jesus, where to start. (1) What the fuck made you choose "prostate exam" as the thing a manager would undergo in exchange for kicking one of his players out of the game? Unpleasant trip to the doc this week, Mike? And, more importantly, (2) from what I've heard about prostate exams, no one, under any circumstances, would willingly submit to one.
I mean ... good God, man! I still can't believe you went there.
General managers draft players and sign free agents, and then pay them a whole lot of money. If the manager or coach decides those players cannot play, guess who wins that battle? Let's just say in Billy Beane that Macha had one of the more willful, and influential, GMs going.
Let's also say that Billy Beane is one of, if not the, best general managers in baseball. He's had a pretty good track record identifying talent, wouldn't you say? So, yeah, I guess I'd tend to listen to him if he was telling me: "Give this guy a shot."
Managers manage for results and players play for their next contract. Only the truly enlightened among them understand that the ends have to be neither mutually exclusive nor personal, hence the near-perpetual conflict that makes protracted discussion on the topic so tedious. It's enough to realize that mutual respect becomes self-evident with the effort, so, yes, we'll know soon enough about this hire.
Needed to drive up the word count there a bit, eh? This paragraph reads like one of those high school algebra problems that goes: "If Train A leaves Minneapolis at 4 o'clock, carrying 24 passengers and traveling at 40 mph, and Train B leaves Milwaukee at 2 o'clock, carrying 25 passengers and traveling 35 mph, and both trains make one fifteen-minute potty stop along the way, and Train A's conductor had four whiskey-cokes before his train left, but Train B's conductor is a teetotaler who hasn't had any fun since 1973 ... what does 2 + 2 equal?"
And Macha's fresh eyes might be revelatory. A lot of the same coaches and front-office personnel have seen these players for a long time. As GM Doug Melvin noted, sometimes that dulls the perception.
Maybe, for example, Macha could actually convince Corey Hart that he need not swing at the first pitch. Or, provided the Brewers don't trade Prince Fielder, Macha could tell him what everyone's been dancing around, that Fielder's gotten way too heavy.Now, hold on. I hate Ned Yost. I've called for his head for the last three years. I've expended more expletives on that miserable piece of gutter shit than I care to remember. But even I don't think Ned Yost sat quietly by and never mentioned that Jon Hart might want to take a pitch every once in a while. I'm sure this was brought to Jon's attention repeatedly. However, because he is at least mildly retarded, I'm not sure that this advice ever stuck.
Now, as for Man-Tits McGee: if you wanna be the one who tries to pry the two-pound bag of Skittles out of his paws, good luck and God bless. Short of that, though, that fucker isn't going to get any slimmer, no matter what Ken Macha says to him.
At the very least, Macha must cure the Brewers' impatient offense and leaky defense. To do that, he need not be their best friend, just honest and consistent.
So, you're hoping for what, exactly? You want him to remind Rickie Weeks that he sucks at fielding every day? That's honest and consistent.
You know what else would help? Not mis-managing the pitching staff. That's probably the area where the manager has the most influence, and it's one of the main reasons Ned got gassed. I'm sure you're going to address that next.
And it's not like the Brewers are taking a gamble on an otherwise proven manager. A two-year contract means they either have to extend Macha or let him go after next season, because a lame duck cannot swim against the currents produced by guaranteed contracts.
Or you could talk about ducks. Fucking hell.
Ken Macha was hired as manager. I'm glad they picked him over Randolph (who apparently was second choice). Seems like a good guy, has been received well by the players, but I give it by the end of April 2009, that 1250 fans (ahem, $ and Rubie) are calling for his head. Interesting note that he only signed a 2 year deal. He won't have much time to establish himself.
And oh by the way Ken we have a first base coach (Sedar), bullpen coach (Catro), bullpen catcher (Hanel), pitching coach (Maddux) under contract and you have to keep them plus we'd like you to hire our interim manager from last year as either 3rd base coach or bench coach. You can hire the other and a hitting coach, but that's it.
I really hope Maddux doesn't leave for Texas...he's got a pretty good gig here, but you might see him take the blame next year if our pitching staff sucks. I also really hope they get Sveum back as a coach. He's a great baseball guy and seems to have a rapport with the players (hope that doesn't back fire during the season).
Rumor has it we are prepared to offer CC a 4 year $100 million contract. Yikes! Less years than what he can get from the Yankess, plus a decent chance to get back to the playoffs and a hell of a lot less stress from fans/media. Plus 4 years from now he might be able to cash in again or he could get an extension if the Crew trades him in a few years. I'm not holding my breath on this but its an interesting play by the Brewers.
Ben Sheets applied for free agency...that's really too bad. Have fun in Houston Benny!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Oh, and for anyone interested, I believe the UW hoops team is having an open scrimmage tonight for anyone interested. Free parking is available in the east and west lots. So if anyone hasn't seen Hoosiers for some time or wants to get juiced for Halloween by watching a bunch of 7 foot white frankensteins running around I suggest you check it out. Word is they will wrap up tonights event by having a "classic" free throw competition. Head to Head competition with each contestant attempting 10 "potty shots" from the free throw line. Single elimination. It will be electric! (I just looked at their roster and they have 17 guys listed. How is that possible?)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I can't explain it, but the stupidity of people just makes me darn right angry sometimes. Here's a prime example: Not that I really care, but Travis Beckum of our beloved Badgers just had surgery to repair his broken fibula thus ending his triumphant senior season and furthermore likely lowering his draft stock CONSIDERABLY. So why does this bother me exactly? Well, he pretty much had a stellar junior year and I believe he was far and away the #1 ranked tight end and was projected to be a top 20 pick (1st rounder at least). So what's wrong with that? Nothing if you decide to forego your senior season and ENTER THE DRAFT! I mean honestly, what more did he think he was going to do if he came back? Win a heisman? Hell no, how many tight ends have won the Heisman (I don't know the answer but I'll bet less than 5)? Ah, did he think the Badgers were going to win a national championship? Ha! I know the Big Ten gets a pat on the back based on their historical significance, but c'mon a national championship! Capital One bowl maybe. It's not like they were returning the core of their team. They lost their QB and part of their O-line. Oh, I know. He wanted to be "romantic" and go back to school just to complete what he started and earn a degree. Great in theory, but you were going to play in the NFL and make millions on your rookie contract alone so unless you were earning a degree in finance or business so you could manage your bling, what's the point really? No, that's probally not the real answer. My guess is, and I hope this isn't actually the reason, is the same reason Matt Leinart did it (and I can't BELIEVE he did it! While he didn't get hurt he lost 10's of millions in signing bonus alone just by dropping from #1 to #9 or whatever he went), that being he loved being "The Man" on campus. And I'm sure it's great. Walk into a party, point at some good lookin' white chick, say come with me.....it's that easy. But my argument is, ahhhh, can't you still do that when you're a millionaire in the NFL? I mean, I can understand why Leinart did it. USC won the National Championship, they were virtually celebrities in LA, and so cal girls are probably pretty stellar. So fine, while I did not agree with his move (Chayce I know u agreed with him as we had this "what if" argument at the time) I could understand because he was a national celebrity and had a legit shot at defending their title. So here we are. Poor guy decides to go back to school and what happens......broken leg.....play on a crappy big team and miss half your senior season.......completely kill your draft status (he goes from guaranteed millions to mid-round "tryout" money). Look at the bright side Travis, you've still got 6-7 months of time to have fun with those communist leftists (sorry rubie) women of madison.....although what you want to do with them may hurt a little with a broken leg and cast on. Hmmm. Well, you win some you lose some I guess. So, if I can offer a piece of advice to all of those NFL hopefuls out there.........when you've got guaranteed money sitting there on the table for you to take, don't feed your greedy appetite and try to earn 10% more by coming back. You play football, not ping pong. Injuries do and will occur so quit being so damn stupid.
Look at this D3, did u ever imagine I would have some much to say regarding college football?
Monday, October 27, 2008
Anyone else interested? I heard that the players were sitting at the tables at last year's event and mingling with the crowd. Could be a good time.
Has anyone at ESPN ever watched Brooks Bollinger play football? Dude's been sacked 46 times in 19 games, which doesn't seem like a ridiculous number -- until you remember that, when Brooks Fucking Bollinger is under center, his team is running the ball on two plays out of three.
Sure, he's not a complete statute like Brad Johnson, but he ain't exactly Donovan McNabb back there either. Trust me, a very young Rubie Q was there for one of his only good games at Wisconsin, when he was either (1) handing the ball off to Ron Dayne; or (2) faking the hand-off to Dayne, running a bootleg, and floating a duckfart, four-yard pass to the tight end. Brooks Bollinger isn't in the NFL for his mobility; dude hasn't been considered 'mobile' since he was playing high school ball in North Dakota.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Rewind ~6-8 weeks ago. When it became evident that we had a legit shot at landing Snaer or Colvin, while I loved to hear it and hoped that we could get either of them, I still felt that their biggest position of need going in to the 2009 season was at Power Forward. And I also thought that Buzz was on the same page with me when he continually reiterated how unbalanced our team is as a whole (alluding to Crean's failures in balancing out his team the past few years, which is well deserved). That being said, looking to next year, after O'Tule (6'10") and McMorrow (7'0), our next biggest guy is 6'7". Meaning our depth in the "true" frontcourt is still a bit lacking. While that seems huge compared to what we have had the past couple of years, neither O'Tule nor McMorrow are projected to be dominant big men that eat up minutes. Furthermore, when comparing this roster to the rest of the Big East, it is still likely in the lower 1/2 or 1/3 in terms of size.
So what's the solution? Find a power forward. And not a Tom Crean "Power Forward" (No complaints about Lazar, but it's just not fair when he goes against the likes of UConn, Georgetown, Pitt, and Louisville whose SG's and SF's are as big as he is let alone their PF's and C's). So here's the scoop with this Roseboro cat (per Todd Rosiak).
1. He brings size - 6'9 1/2" 220lbs. He has a size 19 shoe, huge hands, and according to Rosiak is still growing.
2. "Toughness" - a word that both Buzz Williams and Tom Crean beat to death, but I agree with it's importance. You can have your 7' soft whities. I'll take a guy that's 2-3 inches shorter and tough as shit. And word on the street is he is a hard worker/blue collar kind of guy. I think this is the kind of image we need to continue and need to grow, and I think Buzz stresses this as an area of importance. I think the 3 amigos have given Marquette this kind of reputation and with them leaving after this year, we need to find guys to continue this tradition.
3. Seems to be a late riser - He isn't playing at Oak Hill Academy or St Anthonys/St Benedicts in New Jersey. He plays at a small unknown school in Quakertown Pa. and I don't think they have won or are going to win a state championship. Therefore, scouts likely aren't going out of their way to go and see you play unless you are a special talent. However, after playing in the traveling summer and fall leagues, scouts really began to take notice. Sounds like he made a lot of noise on one of the better teams in his league. Overall, my hunch is that since he is still growing and is already 6'9, he simply might have just had trouble adjusting to his growth spurt and transforming himself into a low post kind of guy. And now that his growth has slowed down, he has had a chance to develop his skills more as a post player and rebounder.
So in conclusion......while Brett Roseboro may not be your McDonald's All-American, ESPN100, or your typical blue chip prospect, I think that it addresses an absolute area of need at this time and solidifies arguably one of the best and most balanced classes MU has seen (only time will tell I guess). While I would have loved to get Snaer, I feel that between the guards of Aker, Cadougan, Buycks, Cubillan, and with Maymon and Butler potentially playing the 2 at times, there really isn't going to be enough playing time to go around for that caliber of player that is going to want to start immediately and get a lot of minutes on top of that. Combine that with the addition of Lazar Hayward's senior/leadership season, Erik Williams, and Joseph Fulce I think we will have plenty of offensive firepower to compete in the Big East. In adding what looks to be more of a roll playing PF, I think that the class of '09 combined with O'Tule, McMorrow, Fulce, and Butler is not only talented but is also well balanced and is a great foundation to follow the loss of James, McNeal, and Matthews. Going into 2009, our roster should look something like this:
PG: Acker, Cadougan, Frozena
SG: Cubillan, Buycks, Butler
SF: Maymon, Williams, Fulce, Hazel
PF: Hayward, Roseboro
C: McMorrow, O'Tule
Now that is balance! If you throw Snaer or Colvin in at PG/SG, we're still thin on the front court. Furthermore, throw Jamil Wilson into that mix and considering he's 6'7", again we really only have 2 legite guys to play in the power forward and center position. So looking further ahead to the class of 2010, dropping Hayward, Cubillan, and Acker, Buzz will be able to stress the guard position considering the depth we will have in the 3,4,5 positions, and possibly get that Michael Snaer caliber guy. All in all, I like it. The class of 2009 is still outstanding even though we didn't close it out with Snaer, Colvin, or Wilson. Although, I found it interesting that Rosiak mentioned that one of their committments is not out of the realm of possibility. I can't quite figure out how that would work, but he claims it's possible. If that somehow happens, it will hands down be the best class in my 3 decades of existence. So while this Roseboro character may not be a big time prospect, let us not forget a guy by the name of Dwayne Wade was overlooked by the scouts as well. That is all. Can't wait for the season to begin!
-there were lines outside the Al to get in at 6.
-the t-shirts are awesome and so is the poster.
-the Al was packed
-at least at our madness it was the women's team that did a lame as choreographed dance and not the men's team (ahem Bo Ryan sucks!)
-they cut a lot of the BS out from prior years (no dunk/3 pt contest, just a "Jam Fest") and they got to the scrimmage really quickly.
-women's team looked pretty good...no size but it sounds like they have a lot of really good opponents this year and the wife and I are going to try and hit one up this year (UConn).
-Wes' between the legs dunk was awesome but Fulce had a few really nice ones...my fav was the Vince Carter elbow dunk that live looks not that great but one you realize what he did its awesome. just glad no one tried to jump over something and no one got hurt.
-buzz talked for about 3 minutes...introduced boot camp video and thanked everyone for coming out, but his theme has remained constant...this program is about the players and nothing else...kind of refreshing! buzz spent the entire time shaking hands and left everything up to the asst. coaches and players.
-the scrimmage was kind of short. the offense still seems to be a work in process but i thought the defense looked pretty good. the blue team had a furious second half comeback to win. by all reports lazar looked really good with 18 or so points.
-i was most impressed with O'Toole...he's a big body and held his own against Burke in the first half. had a couple of post moves and some nice boards (on both sides)...needs to bulk up and learn how to finish in traffic. transition offense was a little lacking but you could tell it was an early season scrimmage. they have to be sick of playing against one another.
-interesting to hear about the new verbal we received while we were in line. sounds like a nice combination of size and athletic ability. if you look ahead to next year we have a lot of size on the front line which something we haven't had in a long time. i guess this takes a little of the sting out if we weren't going to get Snaer. overall a fantastic first recruiting class for Buzz.
Can't wait for Haunted Hoops Friday and the start of the season soon!
Friday, October 24, 2008
I don't know why, but here's what Los Angeles Times columnist Bill Plaschke has to say about the Favre mess:
On Brett Favre Pass, a legacy catches hell.
It is a dead end street, but a sports bar there is a thoroughfare of debate.
Um … what? "[A] sports bar there is a thoroughfare of debate"? People are debating in the streets? The bar is decorated like a street? This is a jumbled, awkward metaphor that doesn't work? I'm … just … help.
Eight months after the face of the NFL tearfully announced his retirement, that face is bruised and blushing.
It is the face of an accused liar. It is the face of an alleged cheater. It is a face lost.
Well, let's be clear here: Favre is a proven liar. Remember, he was the one who texted Peter King – immediately after his team got done crapping all over itself against the fucking Raiders – that the story about him giving inside poop to the Lions was "total bs." (Apparently, gunslingers can't be bothered with punctuation.) Then, two days later, he confirmed that he did talk to Matt Millen about the Packers, but claimed that it wasn't to the extent that Jay Glazer reported. Which makes his assertion that the report was "total bs" … um … total bullshit.
So, yeah – Brett Favre : Liar :: Moongoose McQueen : Midget Porn Aficionado. (Yeah, I said it. This is what happens when you don't visit the Buffet for three months – I toss out allegations about your preferred flavor of porn. You're lucky you came back when you did, Reid.)
The works of a lifetime, tarnished in less than a football season. An American hero, undone by the American way.
Being King of the Douchebags is "the American way"?
The score is now final, and it's not even close.
Brett Favre, New York Jets quarterback, Green Bay Packers traitor, fast-leaking legend, should have quit when he said he was quitting.
Dude, what in the fuck is going on with your adjectives? "Fast-leaking" legend? Is he a gallon of milk?
Perhaps, in the last eight months, we have seen a different Brett Favre. Or perhaps we are finally seeing the real one.
Whatever, it has been the equivalent of a warm farewell followed by the guy changing his mind, barging back through the front door for one last piece of pie, spilling that pie on his lap, dropping messily asleep on your couch.
Nope. Wrong equivalent. Brett Favre is Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. He is a mentally unstable, incredibly needy bitch who will not be ignored. The Packers didn't want him back, and now he's stormed back into the house wielding a butcher knife. Hide the rabbits!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
So that leads us to the inevitable topic of discussion: Who do you want as the next manager of the Milwaukee Brewers? Some names that have been thrown out there include:
-Bob Brenly (who seems like he's been positioning himself for the job since the end of last season)
And I'm sure there's more names being thrown around that I can't remember here. What's Don Baylor doing these days? This looks like a list of hot names from 1999. I'll be honest, none of these guys really light my pants on fire. I'll give you my thoughts on who I think would be best at a later time, but this should get the ball rolling. Right now I gotta go meet SVJJ at the local establishment for some "discussion".
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Our video department or whoever we pay to make these is awesome. I wouldn't mind this being our intro music. I wonder now that Tommy is gone if that means no U2. God I hope not;-)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Neenah Bans Cupcakes, Candy as Treats
Neenah - Neenah students who want to bring an occasional treat for their classmates will be limited to fruit, vegetables and other healthy snacks. The Neenah School District tightened its wellness policy this year and banned cupcakes, candy and other sweet treats. Parent Vicki Denzin is asking the Neenah Board of Education to ease those rules. Denzin says banning the items doesn't teach the children moderation or portion control. Denzin asks how excited a 6- or 7-year-old would be to bring bananas or carrot sticks to share with their friends. Tullar Elementary School Principal Diane Galow says it's not the sugary cupcake that's important, but it's the ability of the students to share a treat on their birthday or special day.
I will save my vitriol for the comments section. The continued pussification and coddling of America's youth.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
It was just a POS 1990 Toyota Corolla with no brakes, windshield wipers, or reason to live, being driven around by a couple of suspected junkies in Walworth County. That was until we got a hold of it. A 8 hours and 2 1/2 cases of beer later, it was transformed into something glorious that would excite masses of people. People driving alongside of it were cheering like maniacs. If we would've charged for photos with the car we probably could've paid for the damn thing. A couple people even kissed the hood. Such was the elation that having the post-season in Milwaukee inspired; and this hoopty ride was the embodiment of that joy.
As for the design of this masterpiece, it is a bit of a stretch to say that I "hate the fact that this town still celebrates the '82 Brewers." I don't hate the '82 Brewers. I just hate that they are constantly crammed down the throat of everyone that even wants to discuss the current team. I cannot stand when people try to compare every aspect of baseball in Milwaukee to that fucking team. They were great, they had a great year, I get it. But the fact that that team fired its manager in the middle of the season and succeeded has absolutely NO bearing on this team in this era. Do you think in 1981, people were saying "Well ya know, in '57 the Braves did such and such"? As for the MB mitt logo; Fuck that thing, fuck it in its stupid ass. It's a Triple-A logo. Any logo that prompts people to say "Oh... I get it now," is fucking Bush League. And the new school color scheme is so sweet, I cannot understand how anyone can think the old one is better.
But I digress....
All of that being said, I'm not (contrary to what you may have heard) stupid. I know which way the winds blow, and most of my compatriots in this little venture wanted old school colors. Plus, this color scheme has the advantage of being IMPOSSIBLE to miss. It's like watching the Pro Bowl and always knowing right where the Packer players are because their helmets clash with everything else around them. And, like a savvy politician who knows he cannot prevent the passage of a bill he disagrees with (just a colorful metaphor Rubes and TG, I'm not trying to start anything here), I was able to attach one little piece that I do agree with... The logo on the hood. I, personally, am a HUGE fan of that "M with the state" logo. And thanks to the impressive skills of Mrs. Reid, we were able to stencil that bad boy on the hood with incredible precision. So, everyone walked away satisfied.
All in all, it was an awesome ride (literally and figuratively). And all thoughts of selling this beauty for scrap have disappeared. Providing the paint holds up, we fully intend to have this baby ready for opening day next year.
PS(It should be noted that, though not pictured, Sheets' VaJayJay was also instrumental in the creation of this fine piece of work. Also, all Brewer related emblems are painted on, not stickers. The only stickers are the racing ones on the sides, Uncle Mike insisted on those and I wasn't about to tell him no.)
Picking up where we left off…
YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!
Oh, right. Baseball.
Bottom of the first: So, Cam walks on four pitches, and Bill Fucking Hall, apparently moved by Cam's performance, battles the Ancient One to a full count before drawing a walk of his own. And then Moyer uncorks a 55-foot breaking ball, moving the runners up to second and third. Prince brings one home with a Skittles-fueled flyball to right, and, miracle of miracles, Jim Jerry plates another with the rarest of all birds for the 2008 Milwaukee Brewers – a two-out hit with a man in scoring position. Saints be praised!
This is probably a good point to mention that I may have been wrong about James Jerry Hardy being a pantywaist. I'm not taking back my indictment of his defense – though he did manage to get to ANOTHER ball hit to his left in Game 3. But he's demonstrated that I was off when I said he was Khalil Greene minus the flashy defense and mullet. I'll take .275, 25, and 80 from my shortstop (and from my third baseman) any day of the week and twice on the Sabbath.
Oh, right: Corey Hart struck out to end the frame. Urge to boo … rising … RISING …
And speaking of Corey...
Bottom of the third: Hardy continues to show that I don't know what I'm talking about, lacing a two-out single to right. And then – what's this? Corey with a nice piece of hitting, taking the ball to right field to get the runner to third with two …
Nope. Nevermind. Corey takes an absurdly large turn at first base, despite the fact that Man Mountain Ryan Howard is standing on the bag when the right fielder gets the ball. The next few moments seem to happen in slow motion: Werth fires a laser back to Howard, while Corey half-stumbles, half-falls back to first, while the crowd, rising as one, screams "You dumb motherfucker!" Corey's toast, Moyer is spared for another inning, and my hand tightly grips the battery that SB's Tony Gwynn missed during the pat-down.
By this time, though, you kind of have to feel bad for Jon Hart. With the amount of bad ju-ju that's following him around, he must have pissed on an Indian burial ground or something. I haven't seen a dude get nabbed at first like that since Little League. At this point, watching Corey Hart trying to play baseball is like watching a four-year-old trying to do his income taxes.
Top of four: The Elf Lord Craig Counsell in at second, which causes mass confusion amongst the masses. For a second, I suspect that Doug Melvin may have actually followed my advice and cut a player in the middle of a game. But no – Rickie's just hurt, again, and joins Ben Sheets in the clubhouse to ice his vagina.
And, if there's a God in this universe, this is the last time that I will have to write about Rickie Weeks on this blog – except for when he gets traded to Baltimore and I get to use the "I have EX-OR-CIIIIIIZED the demon!" tag.
Top of five: It's finally Philly's turn to have a pitcher go less than five innings in a game. Eat shit and die, you androgynous-named fuckface. Sadly, I will not get to use the AARP jokes I had ready for the bottom of the fifth.
Anyway, Matt Stairs hits for Moyer, and I decide that I'd like to have a beer or eight with Matt Stairs. First of all, Matt Stairs looks like he likes beer a lot. I, too, like beer a lot. Matt Stairs is also Canadian, which means that he might be able to explain that fucking dance that the Blue Jays' fans do during the seventh inning stretch. Thirdly, I haven't had a Labatt since the Toronto trip, and I bet Matt Stairs only drinks Labatt. Finally, I'd like to see if anybody calls Matt Stairs just "Matt." "Matt Stairs" is one of those names that needs to be said in its entirety any time you're addressing the man. "Another round, friend?" "Yes, thank you, Matt Stairs." "Doesn't my mustache kick ass?" "It certainly does, Matt Stairs." "Those guys over there are hosers, eh?" "Agreed, Matt Stairs."
Top of six: File this one under "When It Rains, It Pours": Corey almost makes a great catch, but slams into the outfield wall, tumbles to the ground, and the ball pops out. (That's what she said.) Mind you, I wasn't witness to this event, as I was taking a glorious piss in the men's room. But I heard the call of the play on the radio in the loo, and Ueck sounded an awful lot like Harry Doyle when Hart dropped the ball: "Hart going back, at the walllllll…heeeeeeee's got it! Wait, no. No, he doesn't."
Then the Ghost of Ned Yost makes his first appearance during Game 3: for some reason, Sveum leaves Bushy in to pitch to Utley, despite the fact that Stetter is up and ready in the 'pen. But, after Bushy gets Utley to pop up, Sveum decides that now is the appropriate time to go lefty-lefty and brings in Mitch. It is now five days after this game was played, and I still don't understand the thinking. Maybe this was Sveum's version of tipping a 40 to his homey.
Bushy gets a well-deserved ovation after showing, once again, why Doug Melvin should be publically flogged for giving $40 million to Jeff Suppan. Dave Bush is Jeff Suppan 2.0 (with a little better 'out' pitch and better conditioning), and yet costs four times less than Shitpan. Think about it this way: paying Suppan $40 million when you already have Dave Bush on your staff is the equivalent of buying Windows 95 for $500 when you're already running Windows Vista.
Yeah, that analogy didn't work. Whatever, we're at 1000 words again.
Fuck introductions. Let's do this thing, diary-style.
The Eve of Game Three: I'm told constantly that I get too emotional about my favorite sports teams. Putting aside whether it's a bad thing to be emotionally invested in a sports team (I say 'no,' though the hole in my wall may have a different take), the 2008 Milwaukee Brewers have turned me into a basket case. Here's how I spent the majority of my afternoon on October 2: thinking up synonyms for "fuck nugget" so I could write a semi-coherent and incredibly vicious attack on a player who, at multiple points during the season, I proclaimed to be my favorite Brewer. Then, in the course of emailing SB's Tony Gwynn to make plans for tailgating, I ask him to pat me down before the game to make sure I don't sneak any D batteries into the game, lest I be tempted to peg Corey Hart with a Duracell. SadIy, pathetically, I am only half-kidding.
The Morn of Game Three: You know how you know it's going to be a good day? Let's say you make a trip to Target for puppy chow and other assorted household-type shit, and, when you walk in the store, you spot a big display of "Iron Man" DVDs on sale for $14.99. Now, let's say that money's been a little tight for you and the missus lately, on account of a trip to Minneapolis and your car's battery randomly crapping out and getting playoff tickets and other shit like that. And as you eye up the "Iron Man" DVD like Prince Fielder gazing at a kiddie pool full of Skittles, your wife says: "I know how much you like that movie. It's OK. You should get it." Fuck and yes. You're with me, Tony Stark. That's a sign of a good day, my friends.
(You know what's not a sign of a good day? Having to clean a fish tank. Fish are the most fucking disgusting creatures this side of Doris Burke. Fuck, fish are gross.)
The Tailgate: So, everybody knows the story by now, I'm sure, and most everybody has seen the pictures, and I know everyone's heard my joke, but I still think it's a pretty good one: since we haven't had playoff baseball in Milwaukee in so long, Reid and Keith got confused and thought that there was going to be a Homecoming-style parade down Wisconsin Avenue. To that end, they bought a Corolla (or Camry?) off a meth-head in Lake Geneva for $400, painted it royal blue and yellow*, and slapped a few Brewer decals on for good measure.
(* The color scheme for the car raises a whole 'nother issue: Reid, more than anyone I know, hates the fact that this town still celebrates the '82 Brewers. He can't stand it when people wear the MB mitt hat or have throw-back jerseys or any of that stuff. He can't stand Retro Fridays. He once punched Don Money in the mouth, just because he was on the '82 Brewers. And yet … he painted that Corolla in throwback colors. The lesson (I guess): strange things happen when the Crew makes the playoffs. Lions laying down with the lambs and shit.)
This car was a fucking riot. Plus, the more you looked at it, the more shit you discovered, like the soup can holding together the exhaust pipe, or the half-a-baseball glued to the gas cap (the other half was imbedded in the windshield), or the trunk o' beer straight out of "Dazed and Confused." Simply astounding.
Pre-Game, Inside Miller Park: There were times this season when you had to ask yourself: "Is going to the playoffs really worth x?" Like when we traded for CC, or when Attanasio ordered the 11th hour execution of King Ned**, or when Sveum ran CC ragged over the last two weeks of the season, or when we brought Yo and his shredded ACL back four short months after his knee asploded at Wrigley.
(** Please, PLEASE do not take this statement to mean that I think King Ned still should have been managing this team. I do not. I most assuredly do not. He should have been fired in May. My point is that, by firing the manager of a team that was tied for the lead in the Wild Card with 12 games to go, Attanasio showed that he's kind of a loose cannon, which might give pause to some would-be managers in the future. As in: "You want me to work for a guy who canned his manager days before the playoffs started?" That's all I'm saying.)
Anyway, in short, the answer to the "is it worth it?" question became clear as soon as you entered Miller Park: Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.
Top of the 1st: During my email exchange with SB's Tony Gwynn the day before the game, I mentioned that I was so emotionally drained that it was entirely possible that I would cry if Dave Bush managed to throw the ball well in Game 3. Well, it started getting dusty there in the top of the first. Down goes Rollins. Down goes Werth on an absolutely filthy 69-mph bender. And then Utley smashes one back up the middle, only to see Bushy spring off the mound like a hungry jaguar and snare that sum'bitch one handed. And the crowd goes ape-shit. Wow. WOW.
Bottom of the 1st: I don't like to pat myself on the back, but I like to think I had something to do with the success the Brewers found against The Rime of the Ancient Moyer (that one even made Chris Berman cringe) in the bottom of the first. From my perch in section 431, I threw everything I had at that bastard. "Moyer's wearing his age out there." (He wears No. 50.) "This inning is taking too long, Moyer promised he'd be home by 9 to watch his grandkids." "That pickoff move hasn't worked since 1984!" Yeah, I was killing him.
Alright, none of those things are remotely funny. But I was pretty drunk. And the mouthbreathers sitting in front of us (who turned around to high five SB's Tony Gwynn on damn near every pitch) had a good chuckle.
Alright, we're over 1000 words now. That's long enough, so let's call this part I. Part II may be coming later. If it doesn't, blame the Republicans.
YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Word on the street is that only 1 '09 recruit will be attending - some 6'9" serbian or russian.....wherever he is from he alledgedly is the prototypical big foreign white guy that can shoot and pass really well for his size. So I guess that means he's anywhere from Ryan Amoroso to Toni Kukoc. That would be an interesting addition to our team.
No word on Michael Snaer's decision as he has yet to visit UCLA and Kansas in the next month or so. While we may not look like the front runner considering the schools that we are competing with (not to mention his prospect ranking), the overall impression that he left with after the visit seemed to be very positive according to his interview with Rosiak on the JS. I think he took away some of the more positive aspects about choosing Marquette including 1. the Al McGuire center - outstanding facility in a downtown location (they have a hyperbaric workout chamber for christ's sake!) 2. Work ethic and toughness - see Jerel McNeal. So while I wouldn't put money on him choosing Marquette, I think that there's a legitimate shot at this point. What a class that would be!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
1. I think that's it's safe to assume that while Attanasio has shown that he's somewhat willing to open up his checkbook that there are only a limited number of teams that are going to be able to afford CC Sabathia, and we are not one of them. So immediately there goes one of our starters. Ben Sheets is also a free agent. Before we quickly decide to cut him and his nagging/bizarre injuries ass, I think it's something that we need to think a little more about. Yes he gets hurt alot, and Yes he consumes roughly 10 mil a year off our payroll, but considering that aside from CC we are returning all of our day to day pieces of a playoff roster. Also, due to Sheets slight tear and likely surgery, I imagine that his demand will not be nearly as high and therefore his price will not be nearly as high. And I'm guessing we will not be paying Gagne 10 mil again this year (if at all), so there's 10 mil off the books. To conclude my thought here, if we can get Sheets for a fair price and sign him to a short term deal (1-2 years), I say pull the trigger. As much as I dislike our style of offense they still won 90 games and made the playoffs, and having Sheets in the rotation(even if it's only half the year) will only help the cause. So if I could set up my 5 man rotation for next year it would look like this: Sheets, Gallardo, Suppan, Parra, and Bush with Villanueva and McClung being our top 2 long relievers/spot starters out of the pen.
2. In terms of the position players, I will discuss more long term hopes that I have rather than just next year. I feel that our future core should revolve around Hardy, Braun, and while I am completely hesitant after the last month I include Corey Hart in this. Braun is obvious. What can I say? He's young, a MONSTER at the plate, has converted to left field nicely, is confident and has the attitude that it takes to be a leader on and off the field. Not to mention, he was smart enough to take the long term deal offered by the Brewers organization while the gettin was good(I can't say the same about the overweight and overrated turd at 1st base). JJ is a solid hitter, and great in the field, but due to his slight lack of range I hope to see him move over to 2nd in the near future, but that will depend on the progress of Escobar in the minors. So, while he may not be an all-star he is a very solid all around player. Now in terms of Corey Hart, I have been one of his biggest critics in the past month and am almost shocked at the 180 he has done. I mean he was an all-star for pete's sake. What I like about Hart.....He plays solid defense in right, for the most part has been solid at the plate over 2 years including probably one of the higher obp's on the team, has some pop in his bat, and at the same time can swipe bases which is an area of atrition on this team.
So who needs to go?
1. A year ago my opinion was completely different, but since then my feeling on Prince Fielder is "All talk, no Action". Prince was an absolute Beast last year jacking 50 homers, and of course (likely due to his ass of an agent Scott Boras) rejected the Brewers "measley" offer of 40 mil over 5 years(i think) which shortly thereafter was accepted by Braun. Now I can somewhat understand his point. Somewhat. If he was going to consistently hit 45+ HR's every year, sure he would likely be underpaid according to market value. However, very few players have been unable to maintain that kind of consistency so I thought that it would benefit Prince to take the deal, do his work and look to break the bank 5 years down the road. Afterall, he'll only be 28-29 years old. So here we are a year later. I believe he finished with 35 HR's (-15 HR's), finished with an avg. of ~260 (-~20-30pts), was criticized by a number of his teammates, was one of the worst defensive 1st baseman in all of baseball, until just now was hitless through 4 games in the playoffs, and for the most part wasn't overly clutch at any point during the regular season.
2. Rickie Weeks - I don't really know what to say about this other than what the hell happened to this guy? Out of college he was the 2-time golden spikes award winner. He absolutely raked in AAA and was the first of this young crew to get called up because of it. And even his first year + in the bigs, he did some damage at the plate and looked to be about a .280, 20 HR, 20-30 SB player. However, a serious wrist injury seems to have really messed up his swing and comfort level at the plate. That and my theory that Yost's decision to try and turn him into a leadoff hitter hurt him. Sounds crazy, but I thought that he was too good of a slugger to go and ask him to be patient and take pitches every at bat. I think it hurt his mentality at the plate.
3. Bill Hall - Again, what the hell happened to this guy? I like his versatility. I also liked his 35 home runs 3 years ago. So was he a 1 year wonder? At this point it looks like it for he can hardly put the ball in play any more and is a 35 million dollar bench player. For a small market team, we can't afford to pay guys 7-8 million to come off the bench. No, not even Geoff Jenkins.
4. Mike Cameron - Overall, a slight disappointment....slight. He gave us pretty much what we expected coming in........20-25 homeruns and a shit ton of strikeouts (something not unlike most of our roster). We were desperate for a centerfielder, and he did ok for the most part. However, he did committ a few more errors than normal, and when they did occur they all seemed to be extremely costly. No more than game 1 of the playoffs. That error may have cost us the series. We'll never know.
So, if I was GM, I would attempt to package Prince and either Weeks or Hall. I don't think that we can deal Hall and get anything other than a bag of peanuts for him considering his contract so he will have to be a package. Weeks still has some upside (I think and hope) and comes on the cheap at this point, and again, in a 1 for 1 trade we won't get much for him. So if I had my druthers I would try and package Prince and Hall and attempt to get starting pitching (prospect potentially) and/or a centerfielder. While I like Hall's ability to play a number of positions, his contract is far too large for our small market squad and Weeks still has time to get back to his old self at the plate and improve in the field. Now, I suspect that the Quevedo roundtable would object and explain how we have Escobar waiting in the wings to play short and I agree to an extent. Yes, I think that he is our shortstop of the future and that would be perfect for moving Hardy to 2B. However, I don't think that he is quite ready at this point. And furthermore, theoretically if he is all that everyone says, and Weeks regains his form, that will give us any number of options for trades down the road. So, I think that if my master plan pans out, our biggest needs to address and question marks would be at first base (if Prince is dealt or signed by someone else) and in the outfield.....mainly in centerfield. However, our depth in the outfield seems to be a bit thin so hopefuly that can be addressed with one of our five first round picks in next year's draft.
It's disappointing how much of a 180 our offense took once the first of September hit, but they gave us a taste of the playoffs this year.......which is nice (in the Bill Murray Caddyshack voice). So, I think while we may lose the top 2 starters in our rotation, the future still looks pretty bright. It should be an interesting off season, and I look forward to see what Melvin and Attanasio put together.
Friday, October 3, 2008
October 2, 2008 Onion Sports
CHICAGOâ€”God, the divine creator and omnipotent deity, held a press conference Tuesday to discuss the infinite ways in which He could curse the postseason hopes of His least favorite baseball team, the Chicago Cubs.
"I might go with an inopportune rainout or the classic error on a routine play. Or maybe I'll mess with the lights during a huge play in Game 7â€”that could be interesting," said God, who added that when it came to the Cubs, it was nice to stop moving in mysterious ways and take the direct-intervention approach for once. "My prophet Steve Bartman will certainly be a tough act to follow, but trust Me: Anything can happen. And let's just say that for the centennial celebration, it will be huge." When asked about His plans for mankind, God said He would "probably" allow our free will to decide the issue.
(1) (And this one is probably deserving of its own post) JAMES JERRY HARDY GOT TO A BALL HIT TO HIS LEFT!! And not only did he make a diving stop, he threw the guy out from his knees! OK, yes, fine, it was Pedro Feliz. But still -- JIM JERRY GOT TO A BALL HIT TO HIS LEFT! I nearly fainted.
(2) Bill Hall and Rickie "Cumstain" Weeks -- why "Cumstain," you ask? Because, like a cumstain, it's next to impossible to get rid of Rickie Weeks, and he's a source of endless embarassment whenever someone notices he's still around -- didn't see the field.
(3) CC left everything he had on the mound last night. Thanks, big man. Fuck all of those Indians fans who say that you don't come up big in the post-season. You've been pitching the equivalent of post-season games for the last three weeks, and you've been a fucking beast. God bless you and your alliterative initials.
(4) Corey Hart might have had some bad chicken on the plane ride home, got afflicted with dysentery, and died.
Dammit. Messed up the last one again.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The biggest problem that I have had with this club, and which I completely attribute to the incompetence of Ned Yost as a coach and one of the main reasons I have disliked him since year 2, is their inability to execute the fundamental aspects of baseball.
1. Poor defense - you can get away with letting a ground ball eat you up when you play the Pittsburgh Pirates in June, but good baseball teams make you pay when you give them extra outs. Especially when lineups are as deep as the Phils and include the likes of Rollins, Utley, Burrell, and Howard......and I guess I should include Victorino after seeing what he just did. Case in point, Game 1 of this series. Errors single handedly lost us that game yesterday.
2. Baseball "smarts" - I can't explain it, but this organization has been under some sort of free swinging curse and it's one of my biggest pet peaves. I know that athletes aren't generally known for their intelligence, in fact many of them are complete morons and slip through the scholarly cracks, but when that's the case you would think that the coaching staff would tell them exactly what should be done (to an extent). I bring this up because time after time after time after time these guys step to the plate after a pitcher has just walked 2 (or in this case 3 ) guys and hack away at the first pitch.....of which they usually swing and miss or hit a weak ass grounder. Case in point, 15 minutes ago. The Crew is down 1 game to 0. It's the top of the 1st, and you have the bases loaded, 1 run in, 1 out, and your ace on the hill. Now I dont have an iq of 160, but if I step up to the plate after just watching the pitcher walk 3 and 7 of the last 9 pitches are balls.......and I'm in a HORRENDOUS, let me say that again, HORRENDOUS hitting slump, there isn't a chance in hell that I'm going up there hacking away. I at least take 1 (probably 2) pitches to make this guy throw strikes. It's early in the game, but that at bat can completely change the scope of the game. Myers already had a large pitch count and we could have tagged him big early, in doing so getting to their bullpen, but NO! (Disclaimer: I like country music, I'll drink bud light, enjoy shooting shot guns, and will throw in the occasional dip of skoal.) Instead, that dumb f*cking hillbilly redneck Corey Hart takes a weak ass hak at the first pitch tapping it back to the pitcher, inning ending double play. And i think you all know what happens after that.
To top this all off, what a number of us feared came to fruition. Sabathia hit his wall. He seemed exhausted after his 30th pitch. The Brett Myers at bat really seemed to be his end all be all.
I could go on further with my frustration, but this team has made me mentally and physically exhausted. 1 hit through 5 innings......again. Take this team out back and put them out of their misery. What a great return to the playoffs.
I apologized for the pro-replay screed I went on three months ago. I brought the dog bowling, but I didn't rent it shoes. I didn't buy it a beer. I didn't let it take his turn.
Where are you, Sweetness? I'm 'bout ready to put out an Amber Alert.
So, speaking of crapping the bed (segue!), let's talk about the Cubs last night. Specifically, let's talk about the gang of hand-sitters who showed up to observe Game 1 in Wrigley. I found myself trying to define the odd sound that permeated The Shithole last night, and then it hit me: this is the sound of 39,000 people waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'd never heard that many people collectively hold their breath for three hours before. That was quite something.
By far, I am the most negative, bitchy fan on this blog. I complain about everything. I've been known to sulk at a game if my team is playing like shit. That said, if any of you (and, by that, I suppose I mean SB's Tony Gwynn and Sheeters' Pooter) see me acting like those Cubs fans on Saturday, you have my permission to punch me in the nuts. Not only do you have my permission -- I beseech you to punch me in the nuts.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
(1) We worked the jitters out of our system in the first game.
(2) We made Lidge throw nearly 40 pitches in one inning. Hope we see him again tomorrow.
(3) Chuck New Town looked outstanding.
(4) There's no way Rickie's playing another inning after his showing today. Thank God for that trade for Durham.
(5) If we're lucky, a car might run over Corey Hart on the way back to the hotel.
Maybe that last one doesn't count.
Will the Brewers' 1-2 punch get it done?
As fronts of rotations go, it's hard to get better than CC Sabathia and Ben Sheets. This season, Sabathia and Sheets have combined to give the Brewers 320 innings and a 2.59 ERA. That's the best one-two punch in the game, and it's not a particularly close call. Thanks in large part to Sabathia and Sheets, the Brewers were able to snap the longest playoff drought in all of baseball. But can they sustain their excellence into October? Sheets has never pitched in the postseason, and Sabathia, in four playoff starts, has an ERA of 7.17 ERA. Without great pitching from those two, the Brewers won't last very long. -- Dayn Perry
Thank you Dayn (what kind of fucking name is Dayn) Perry for proving that being a sportswriter does not require any research or knowledge of the team beyond the stats. Sheets is and has been a sandy va jay jay for quite some time you ass-clown! He won't be pitching.
I suggest that the next time you write an article, you look at the roster to see who is active, maybe check the team website to get an injury update, or confer with a local sportswriter. I'm sure Mike Hunt would love to hear from you.