Here's his initial submission:
There are only two downsides to writing a 600-word sports column that appears four times a week in the newspaper.
(1) I have a pathological fear of taking a stand on any issue, which makes it somewhat curious that I'm employed as an opinion columnist. (2) My Cheetos get all over the keyboard of my laptop.
It's 600 words. And it runs four times a week.
I know, that's a lot of slop to sling around every week...
Occasionally, that's not enough words and not enough times to feed the 800-pound gorilla relentlessly gnawing on the 24-hour news cycle.
I'm sorry ... what's that? You say you have MORE that you want to write? Well, far be it from me to quell the will of the masses. The people have apparently spoken -- to whom, I'm not sure -- and the people have apparently been of one voice on this issue: WE WANT -- NAY, DEMAND -- MORE MIKEHUNT!
So welcome to Extra Points, where the stuff that falls through the cracks will be collected in a gently used Brewers clubhouse spittoon, filtered, sorted and sporadically presented in a semi-readable format.
You really choose the oddest metaphors, you know? One day, you're talking about baseball managers willing to have stuff shoved up their asses, now you're talking about collecting stuff in a jar where ballplayers hock up their Red Man? That's supposed to pique my interest? "You know what my life is missing? Shit covered in spit."
We'll talk about the usual suspects and issues, at least the timely stuff I can't fit into the column. We'll talk about the influence of sports on movies, books, music and culture in general. We'll talk about some pretty cool stuff I see along the road. But most of all we'll try to capture the spirit of the thing, whatever that thing might be, sort of like my man Dickie Dunn.
Wow. A Slap Shot reference? That was timely, Mike. I'm sure everyone over the age of 40 is highly impressed with your pop culture knowledge.
And as the spirit moves, we'll discuss things that might not have an immediate connection to sports. But trust us, connect they will. For example, we'll eventually get around to talking about a song I heard on my favoite radio station the other day that managed to get "Milwaukee" and "Harvey Haddix" into the first two lines.
Oh, mannnnn! You cocktease! We're not going to talk about it today?
The intenion is to never be too serious, although we might encroach upon something approaching gravity should the need arise. If someone needs propping up or a kick in the seat, we'll try and accommodate.
And if things get too squirrelly, I just might say the heck with it and suggest we all go listen to the Marshall Tucker Band.
Yes, let's! Then, when we're done, we can watch re-runs of Three's Company on our Betamaxes while we clip photos of Danny Patridge for our scrap book!
This is going to be fun.