Monday, February 23, 2009

More Local Media Worthlessness

I was listening to WSSP on the way home today. Honestly, I was looking for Q@B fodder. Mission accomplished. At 5:15 - possibly their largest audience timeframe, they were not only discussing, but TAKING CALLS on if people drank tap water or bottled water. In case anyone was wondering, Sparky drinks tap water and Gary Swollen Tongue Ellerson only drinks bottled water. The reason Ellerson only drinks bottled water is because of the crypto scare a few years ago in Milwaukee. I thought that strange, the crazy thing is that the other two yahoos had never even heard of the crypto scare. Huh? I lived in Nebraska and I was 12 and I remember that shit. Fucking imbeciles.

My next beef is with I'm sorry Zone, but this website fucking sucks. They link to AP stories only, they have extremely infrequent blog posts and a regular feature by some chick in eye black called the Gridiron Girl (sigh). They had an MU article today, by some blunt scissors using schmuck named Todd Welter from 620. The basic premise is fine, but the execution made Dale Hoffman weep.

He was not Sean Miller. He was not Tony Bennett. He was not a name beyond the fact people called him Buzz. He had a legion of fans scratching their heads and wondering why a program deep in tradition would hire a guy that reinforced Texas stereotype. Yet, Brent “Buzz” Williams Texas charm has won over the doubters.

So you are saying the guy we hired has a name? Good start, good start. I agree, I was certainly scratching my head, hit that one. Doesn't Buzz Williams possess his charm? Wouldn't that require an apostrophe to indicate that and make the reader's job easier. Also, I don't think that Buzz has won over the doubters - how many times have we heard (or said), we'll see what he can do next year?

You do not hear too many people still stewing over his hiring. He has done it by being honest to a fault. What coach in their right mind would admit his power forward is even shorter than his already undersized listed height? He uses terms like paint touch, trend towards, and complexion more often that Tom Crean ever charted deflections. He can tell you how minutes he has worked since being hired. We love him for all his quirks because he could quite possibly have the best clap in the game along with being one sharp dressy. Winning is also a good way to get the masses behind you.

Buzz? Honest? That's going to get more tiring than the mentions of Crean's 4 gajillion set plays and karate in practice. Buzz was dumb to say Zar was short - may have lost the dude a few hundred grand. Good rip on Crean's love of the deflection. "along with being one sharp dressy" come again? What's a sharp dressy? I'll go out on a limb and assume he means sharp dresser. Apparently Helen Keller wrote this article. Scratch that, he said Buzz had a good clap, let's go with Stevie Wonder. Buzz is the 2nd worst dressed coach in the league (behind Old Gil). His shirt tie combos offend FPMKE and Charlie Weis' Gunt not to mention Mrs. D3Some. People like winning? Relevatory

He walked into a season full of doubt. Too small a lineup they said. A brutal five-game stretch to end the season. Come on, he lost in his first in coaching gig at New Orleans! So how can he win in the big beast that is the Big East. Yet, he has this program closer to reaching heights that Tom Crean could never reach without Dwyane Wade. He is doing it with a lineup that might not get allowed on most rides at Great America.

"He walked into a season full of doubt." Was that one of the bylines for the movie previews at the beginning of Tropic Thunder? No, I'm wrong, that was in the promos for "Season on the Brink." "Too small a lineup they said." Stop writing like you are chatting over a Pabst on the Southside. Ah, the retread "can't win without DWade" comment.

Where Tom Crean’s ego ran wild over this program, Buzz has tried to never make it about him. He has given all the praise to the players - put all the failures on him. That is why he has won over the gold alumni sweater vest.

This paragraph makes sense! Congrats, though I don't appreciate the rip on MU alumni.

It can not hurt to get off on the right foot with a veteran laced lineup filled with a couple special players. There might not be another coach on the old wish list the Marquette faithful had that could manage this lineup better. Tony Bennett would have an up-and-down lineup playing a Big 10 style in the Big East. Tony Miller would have had them jacking up a lot of threes. Williams has them scoring, and scoring, and scoring some more. By recognizing that this roster did not need to waste too much practice time on offense, the defense has probably played its best in the Jerel, Dominic, Wes era. Not to take away from what Crean did, but this team was not going to succeed like it has if Dominic James continued to be the main scoring option. Williams convincing James to be a true point guard has kicked this team into another gear. Notice how Wesley Matthews game has taken off now that he gets more shots?

No, it can't hurt to inherit a loaded team. Tony Miller was a candidate? Really? Perhaps you meant Sean Miller, let's go with that. Yep, we would have attempted a lot of 3's under SEAN Miller. How would that be different than today? The defense has played it's best? Have you seen the past month? Particularly the Villanova game? The defense is a joke and is way more of a concern than our lack of height. Good thing Williams told James to quit shooting? This was McNeal's team LAST year and everyone knew it. I have noticed Wes's production. What are you attributing that to exactly? Your clumsy prose leaves that up in the air. Tony fucking Miller...

Buzz still has a little bit of a ways to go before we can sit comfortably thinking that Marquette can survive Crean’s “it’s Indiana” move. Williams is going to have to win with his players. He is going to have to take the present team to the second week of the NCAA Tournament. He has at least accomplished one thing. He has won over the Marquette faithful and Big East games.

"A little bit of a ways to go" - again, get off the bar stool and put down the Pabst. So, in fantastic MikeHunt fashion, you have started out with a statement that Buzz has silenced the doubters and now you are retracting that? How can one "win over" Big East games.
My brain hurts, go away Todd Welter, just...go...away.


FPMKE said...

I do hate those shirt and tie combos. My Special Badger-friend even commented on it without provocation... I of course immediately went ape-shit about it. Yellow paisley ties with checkered shirts? And the pocket square?! What the fuck Buzz?!! The pink tie the other day made it look like he was attending a post-game Quinceanera ("Fun with slurs")

Also, I noted a "have to walk before you can crawl" typo. I believe you meant to continue the discussion of Ellerson only drinking bottled water.

I'm convinced that I had crypto at least 4 times while at Marquette... that or the High Life just wasn't as fresh as I thought.

Sorry for the long comment... I had a few post work drinks.

Devil's Threesome said...

Fixed. There's no room for paisley - ever. Just wrong.

Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

Buzz talked about his outfits a little bit on his show tonight. He has a tailor he has been using since his days at Colorado State.

He said he also wears pink for a certain reason and only he a couple other people know why. I gotta figure it means a lot, so I'll give him a pass on that one.

I'm also friends with Welter, so I won't say anything.

Rubie Q said...

I counted at least eight [sics] in that article. Did they fire their proof-reader as a cost-saving measure?

And that "He was not Sean Miller" crap reads like a bad Plaschke column -- the guy who inspired a classic post on Fire Joe Morgan entitled "WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE IS THIS?!?" Not good.

Rubie Q said...

Oh, and as for the "convincing Dom James to be a true point guard" line:

Dom's scoring average for his four-year career: 15.3, 14.9, 12.9, 11.7. Dom's assist average for his four-year career: 5.4, 4.9, 4.4, 5.3

'Rel's scoring average for his four-year career: 11.1, 14.7, 14.9, 20.0.

Fact checking is fun.