Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I imagine this is what FPMKE is like...

This story was posted over on Deadspin today, but I had to post it over here just because I really do think this is what FPMKE is like when coaching youth soccer.

Basically this coach sent out this batshit crazy email to parents about the upcoming soccer season. It is way too good. Let's take a look at it.

OK, here's the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge "Team 7" for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team.

That's just awesome. This is a team of 6 and 7 year old girls being called Green Death.

This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don't need to talk to me.

Wow. So not only does he not cater to 6 or 7 year old superstars, he also wants them to be like a pit bull that belonged to a man that is currently in prison. Fantastic.

I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the "W" in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it's good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding).

I actually agree with him a bit here. Kids do need to run around and get bumps and bruises. It is good for them. Saying he hopes the other team is bleeding... now that doesn't sound like fair soccer... or maybe it does. I don't understand the game.

If the refs can't handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines.

I actually can't wait for the day that D3S or Rubie have offspring. I need to see them on the sideline giving it to the officials. Actually, Zone could be quite entertaining too.

America's youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as "bad". I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world.

I hope the bit about the global economy was also planned into his first team meeting. Kids eat that shit up.

Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don't animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn't grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food.

What a great diet.

Who's with me? Go Green Death!

The most unfortunate part of this story is that he never got to coach the team in one game. He stepped down after some parents and league officials did not see the humor in his email. Apparently you can't joke around in Massachusetts when it comes to girl's youth soccer.

So, FPMKE, does this resemble your coaching philosophy when it comes to youth soccer?

Crazy Shit Music Video of the Day

Sorry for so many posts in the last two days, but we are between basketball and baseball, so I thought some humor might be a nice change.

This guy: Gerry Phillips has been playing songs by making hand fart noises for almost 40 years...his titles include:
Sweet Child O'mine
Life Will Go on (Titanic)
Stairway to Heaven
Super Mario Bros. Theme Song

First a little Queen

Second for FPMKE - a little Smoke on the Water

Milwaukee/Marquette one of best college bball towns

Best college BBall towns to visit:
1. Duke/UNC
2. Kansas
3. It's Indiana
4. Marquette
5. National Power House Gonzaga


Monday, March 30, 2009

Calipari to UK?

I was just reading about how this is close to becoming a deal and I got to thinking: Why? Why would Calipari leave his coushy gig at Memphis where all he has to do is recruit (read: pay) top flight athletes, then roll out of bed every morning and let them run wild on CUSA competition that is nowhere near their skill level? Oh I suppose there are those exceptions when they go out of conference to play other national powers like Gonzaga, but you know what I'm sayin'. So here's my take on why, if I were Coach Cal, I could see taking the Kentucky job.

1) The obvious reason is the cash. $3.5+ mil is hard to say no to. Memphis may try to match the money, but it's clear that Kentucky has some deep pockets. I mean hell, they paid Gillispie $2.1 million to not coach.

2) It's Kentucky... It's Kentucky. Ok, so maybe program prestige ain't what it used to be, but most self respecting hoopsters like the idea of playing for national titles. And it's nice to be able to be like, "Titles you say? You mean like these ones?", as you point to all your banners and trophies and shit. Now, if Coach Cal is planning to run UK like he did Memphis, simply a layover for phenoms on their way to the pros, then this might not sell quite as well, but it certainly can't hurt.

3) Now is as good a time as there will ever be to take this job. Their expectations are as low as they're ever going to be at Kentucky. What can he do that the last guy didn't already screw up? Miss the tournament: check. Piss off the administration, fans and boosters: check. Make Ashley Judd start to look her age: check (this one might not be Billy's fault...fuck what am I saying, everything wrong in Lexington these days is Billy's fault). Calipari has the star power to come in there, do things his way, and not have anyone question him. People doubted Gillispie from the jump, and it showed. Coach Cal will have the longest leash possible for a UK coach. Along with that, the SEC is really, really down right now. It's not like he's going to have to try to rebuild while simultaneously competing with 4 or 5 other dominant programs. Their regular season champs were an 8 seed!! That says all you need to know about the state of the SEC. I'm not sure how much better it is the CUSA. I mean what would the line be on a Georgia-Southern Miss game on a neutral court? (Actually, the real question may be would anyone care enough to even make a line for that game?) If Calipari can take even one of his stud recruits (Demarcus Cousins we're all looking at you) with him to play with Meeks and Patterson and co., then that might be enough to turn a couple of those L's into W's, and then bickety bam, they're back in the tourney and he's the fucking Big Blue Hero.

Maybe This Will Become A Weekly Feature.

In case you were wondering -- Todd "the Llama" Welter (and, no, I have no desire to find out how, exactly, he got that nickname) doesn't know much about baseball, either.

Opening day is one week away. Last time we saw the Brewers a storybook season did not get the happily ever after ending. What a tale it was and the expectations for a sequel are high. Without CC and Sheets, the Brewers will have a tough time coming up with a Godfather II. That does not mean the Brewers can come up with another run towards playing meaningful games in October. A lot of hopes and dreams will have to come true for that to play out. So as season approaches, have high hopes but realistic happenings.

Jesus. I made it one whole paragraph before blood started pouring out of my eyes. Let me get this straight: without Sabathia and Sheets, the Brewers will find it hard to repeat last year's success. But: "[t]hat does not mean the Brewers can come up with another run towards playing meaningful games in October." In sum: it will be hard to repeat, but that doesn't mean we should expect them to repeat. Um. Well... Hmmm.

So far, off to a bad start, and we haven't even reached "have high hopes but realistic happenings" yet. (I don't know about y'all, but I have happenings all the time.)

Hope that Bill Hall’s Lasik surgery helps him regain that form where he was pounding out homers at will and coming up with big hits in the clutch. Expect that not even modern medicine can save Bill Hall’s career from being labeled he is who he is and he already had his career year.

Bill Hall is being labeled "he is who he is"? What is this, Moses and the burning bush? "I am Bill Hall. I Am Who Am. Deliver this message to Pharaoh: Let my people go."

Request that we hear Hell’s Bells a lot at Miller Park. Expect Trevor Hoffman to be in a closer platoon with Seth McClung by the end of the year.

That's a pretty provocative statement. You don't often see closer platoons; usually, if the closer isn't doing his job, he forfeits the closer role entirely. He doesn't share it with someone else. But I'm sure you've got a good reason for thinking that way.

McClung has got the stuff and the mindset to be a closer. Hoffman’s numbers have been on the decline thanks to father time. He will still get the job done but so will McClung which might incline Ken Macha to give McClung a few shots at the ninth later in the season as to not burn out Hoffman. Although do not discount Carlos Villanueva making a case as well.

Oh, I see. Let's break this down in bite-size morsels:

(1) "McClung has the stuff and the mindset to be a closer." M.C. Lung has two pitches: a fastball, and a faster fastball. Far as I know, for his entire career, he's either been a starter or a long reliever. How this adds up to closer material, I'm not sure.

(2) "Hoffman's numbers have been on the decline thanks to father time." Three years ago, Trevor had 46 saves, and ERA+ of 189 (wow!), and a 0.968 WHIP. Two years ago: 42 saves, ERA+ of 135, and a 1.116 WHIP. Last year: 30 saves (in 48 games), ERA+ of 101, and a WHIP of 1.037. He gave up too many homers last year (8), for sure. That seems to be the biggest difference in his splits; batting average against has held steady around .220 for the last two years and was .205 three years ago.

(3) "He will still get the job done but so will McClung
which might incline Ken Macha to give McClung a few shots at the ninth later in the season as to not burn out Hoffman." If Hoffman is getting the job done, why would K-Mach let McClung pitch? To prevent Hoffman from burning out? If you looked at Trevor's stats from last year, you'd see (1) that he only pitched 45.1 innings in the 48 games he appeared in -- nobody's asking him to get 6-out saves here; and (2) he got better as the year went on. He's going to get plenty of rest this year. Don't worry.

(4) "Although do not discount Carlos Villanueva making a case as well." If there's one thing we've learned about Carlos Villanueva, it's that he's a middle reliever. No starty, no closey, just middle reliefy.

Wish that the offense gets some plate discipline and does not get into run droughts. Expect some small ball with Dale Sveum as the hitting coach but do not expect the Brewers to change their hack away ways anytime soon. Sveum will convince them to be ballplayers as he likes to describe but even when he was the manager he struggled to get the lineup to be patient.

Sveum will convince them to be ballplayers? Are some of our guys operating under the belief that they're accountants? Morticians? Ninjas? And I don't know that we can make any sweeping generalizations on what Sveum did or didn't do during the three weeks he was the manager.

Hope that Prince Fielder bounces back from last season. You can expect that as well. Prince is now paid, in shape, and will be back to playing the way we have come accustomed to. Great hitting, MVP chants, and lousy defense.

Last year, the year that Prince needs to "bounce back from":
.276/.372/.507, OPS of .879. I think we need to get over the idea that 2007 can be considered some kind of benchmark for Prince's production. That year was the lodestar. So how 'bout we agree that anywhere between 35-40 homers, 100+ RBIs and an OBP around .380 is just peachy?

Give Rickie Weeks one more chance at the lead off spot.

Oh no you di'int.

Get ready to say he might not live up to the hype. The guy will have to show better plate discipline if he hopes to take that next step forward. There is no argument that the guy can score runs so if he can take more walks, his career could be ready to get back on the upswing.

Take more walks? He walked 66 times and got hit by a pitch 14 times in 118 starts last year. The year before, he walked 78 times and got hit by a pitch 14 times in 111 starts. Sure, a few more walks would be nice, but Rickie needs to start hitting the damn ball (and probably catch a few breaks -- his BABIP last year was .277).

Predict 88 wins but expect 83 wins at most. The lineup can still keep the Brewers at contender status but the pitching lacks a stopper to prolonged losing streaks. Just hope there is no injury in the rotation because then we are talking about 75 wins at most. This team just not have the depth to overcome an injury.

And there you have it: predict a number of wins that, according to Mr. Welter, can't be reached for a team that "just not have the depth to overcome an injury."

Where's Tommy?

Rick, Roy, Bobby and Coach K in a pretty funny commercial...but where's Tommy...doesn't "It's Indiana" get him into this class of coaches?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Really, Louisville?

Really? We're 40 minutes away from re-naming the Final Four the Big East Invitational. The only way you can possibly lose to Michigan State is to stop moving without the ball, junk your offense, and let TWill and Earl Clark go one-on-one the whole game long. And that's exactly what you did.

As Jim Calhoun would say: "Gahd dah-mit."

Now, before all the Big Ten apologists start crowing about Sparty's trip to the Final Four, ask yourselves this question:

How's the fourth-place team in your conference doing? Looks like you had a few ties there. And what's that you say? One of the teams that finished tied for third didn't even make the tournament? Wow.

Yeah, our fourth-place team is gassing up the plane for Detroit. (Watch out for the abandoned skyscrapers, 'Nova.)

Help yourself to a warm glass of Shut The Fuck Up.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Crean to UK?

Sorry, force of habit.

Besides, "It's Kentucky, it's Kentucky" doesn't have the same powerful alliterative allure that "It's Indiana" offers.

More Predictions!!

Friday Night
Arizona vs Louisville
Arizona is talented - Budinger, Wise and Hill, but they drop off considerably after that. Look for UL to wear down Arizona and come away with a workmanlike 78-66 win. TWill will stuff the stat sheet again and Earl Clark will take at least 2 stupid-ass shots

Syracuse vs Oklahoma
What an interesting matchup. Onuaku/Jackson/Ongenot (sp?) vs Griffin should be interesting, but the backcourt matchup is the most important. Willie Warren will have to come to play. Ultimately, OU's youth in the backcourt will be their undoing. Devendorf will annoy and Flynn will look sexy in a 79-75 Syracuse victory.

Kansas vs Michigan St
Will Tyshawn Taylor drive another stake into the heart of MU fans everywhere? MSU rolled KU in East Lansing earlier this year and I like them again in this game. They have more experience and more difference makers. Cole Alrich vs Goran Suton - can you imagine two more ugly players guarding each other. Michigan St win in front of the partisan Big 11 crowd 73-66.

Gonzaga vs North Carolina
Welcome to the big boys' table Gonzaga. Enjoy your salisbury steak and head back to mid-major land with your asses in your hands. UNC wins big, 92-74

Villanova vs Pitt
In a game fit for the BET quarterfinals, Villanova and Pitt square off for a Final Four appearance. I am totally torn on this one. When in doubt, go for the better defensive team...so, congrats Pitt, you just made your first Final Four. Sam Young goes off and Pitt wins 73-67.

Missouri vs UConn
Rinse and repeat on my UConn-Purdue prediction. UConn will really miss Dyson, but Missouri will be doomed by FT's. First, they won't attempt many and then they won't make the ones they attempt. Again, Missou's half court defense will be atrocious and Thabeet will have a field day without ever dribbling. UConn wins 84-77.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

For What It's Worth...

My predictions for tonight's slate of entertaining tilts.

Purdue vs. UConn
I like Purdue, a lot. They are going to give UConn a tough game. UConn will really feel the Dyson injury tonight, but Thabeet puts them over the edge, 67-65.

Xavier vs. Pitt
Pitt will sleepwalk once again, but Xavier doesn't have the horses to close it out. Look for Levance Fields to shoot 3-16 with all 3 makes coming in the last two minutes. 73-68.

Missouri vs. Memphis
Memphis will SHUT DOWN Missouri on the offensive side. This game will be ugly as heck, and Memphis will win on the strength of their defense, 68-59.

Villanova vs. Duke
The jewel of the night. High scoring, perimeter oriented game. Does Paulus even take off the warm-up? I'm tempted to predict a Duke win because Singler could be a nightmare match-up, but I have to go with the Big East brethren in a 85-81 shootout.

Grading Buzz Williams

Now that the bitterness has subsided a bit, I thought it made sense to hand out some grades to the new helmsman of the H.M.S. Avalanche/Hilltopper/Warrior/Golden Eagle/Gold/Golden Eagle.

Offensive Philosophy – B-
MU played a variety of ways offensively in 2008-2009. The season started with some crazy run and gun games, but then settled into a more standard MU tempo – running when available in the rugged Big East. In the first half of the Big East season, MU had great ball movement and some pretty passing out of Buzz’s motion(ish) offense. In the second half of league play, things started to devolve into more of a one or two man show with Wes or Jerel just driving and slashing. Nic’s injury further contributed to this approach. Buzz did a great job of getting Wes more involved in the offense and we saw a couple aborted post moves this year (sweet fancy Moses!). Overall, not a bad job, just getting rid of the dribble hand-off was huge. Next year will be interesting and getting a big will show Buzz’s full offensive philosophy.

Defensive Philosophy - F
The defense this year was atrocious, bar none. The lack of defense production was a glaring and often embarrassing. This goes beyond the James injury or the lack of an inside presence. Despite returning the core players from a solid defensive team, MU’s KenPom defensive ranking fell from #10 to #51. Methinks Ousmane wasn’t that important. Specific defensive breakdowns cost MU at the end of the game against Villanova and Missouri. Embarrassing ESPN beatdowns at the hands of Nova and Pittsburgh also stick out. Buzz is willing to switch defenses, which is a sound approach, but additional focus needs to be placed on solid, non-gambling man-to-man defense. As much as I hate to say it, we need to play Badger defense. Conservative, keep your man in front of you and force the opponent to take contested jump shots.

Player Development – B
The Big 4 all took major strides forward this year. ‘Nic was a better floor general. Wes’s overall game jumped forward. ‘Rel developed a solid jumper. Lazar was a rebounding machine. Additionally, Jimmy Butler really started coming on at the end of the year. Buzz certainly had a huge hand in all of this. Why isn’t the grade higher? Why/how did Cubillan suddenly suck? He was a spark plug off the bench the past two years, but he never saw the floor this year.

Game Preparation – C+
Too many slow starts for my taste. A common theme developed where MU dug a hole and expended too much energy to dig out of it – Villanova, Missouri. Many opponents had HUGE first halves, only to see MU bury them in the second half – Georgetown, West Virginia, Wisconsin.

In-Game Adjustments - B
The switching defenses were a nice change and Buzz held his own with timeout-to-timeout adjustments. The zone he threw against UW was crucial as was the small-ball against PC and ND. Good work.

Late Game Situations - D
Too difficult to recount, actually. Buzz needs to value possessions more in end of game situations. He seems overly concerned about the clock and bleeding as much time as possible off, sacrificing a potential shot. Buzz’s emotional outbursts are also a concern, does that lack of a cool, calm presence affect the players? That really appeared to be the case.

Recruiting – A-
I’m not the expert here. Recruiting keeps me out. A #18 recruiting class is impressive, but in all fairness, Buzz had a ton of playing time to sell. His 2010 class will be a much better indicator.

Public Relations – B
It’s such a bonus to have a coach that is respected by the general public in Milwaukee. People HATED Crean. Buzz doesn’t have the national media connections, but really, what did that bring Crean (outside of an annual, undeserved raise based off Andy Katz’s mancrush drum beat for Crean to take X or Y job)? I’ve tired of Buzz’s “aw shucks, humble” approach, but it plays well in general. His blow-up with Jimmy Mac is a concern, though it was overblown in the media and on the message boards.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Happy Birthday Tom Crean!!

Happy 43rd birthday to Tom Crean! Feel free to leave a message for Crean in the comment section.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Evidence Mounting Against Todd Welter


Check out the reactions at the Badger basketball board. The thread was started by a huge MU hater, redforeman, but everyone, including foreman, defends the Big 3 and rips into Mr. Welter.

See above Todd, punctuation makes the reading experience much easier for your audience.

Monday, March 23, 2009

MikeHunt Gets Company.

I'm sorry, Va Jay Jay -- I don't care if you know this guy or not. Todd Welter is an asshole. He just put up this tripe on the SportsBubbler page (and I apologize in advance for the length of this post):

We the people, of the Marquette gold alumni sweater vest, find Dominic James, Jerel McNeal and Wesley Matthews (sadly and not by choice) guilty of being overhyped.

Dickface: please don't use words like "we" when you write. It implies that you're speaking on behalf of people who aren't you. And I think I can safely state this, as a member of the "Marquette gold alumni sweater vest" contingent: if somebody is going to be speaking on our behalf, it sure as shit isn't going to be you.

Their sentence is a not good enough legacy, no matter how many big regular season wins are on the trio’s resume.

This is akin to saying: "John McCain is a shitty politician because he didn't win the presidential election. Sure, he's been a Senator for-freaking-ever, and he's one of the most influential people in Washington -- but he lost in November, so he's a hack." Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I'd rather judge someone based on the entirety of his body of work rather than on a singular event (especially when that event happened ... yesterday).

Yes, their character was taken into account but this trio could not even do things that Damon Key, Rob [sic] Logeterman [sic], and Tony Miller could do.

I didn't realize that Robb Logterman led Marquette to 43 Big East regular season wins (plus another 4 in the Big East Conference Tournament), top-6 finishes in the Big East every year, finished as the leading scorer in Marquette history, took the team to four consecutive tournaments ... all while playing without an even semi-competent big man. That Logterman was a hell of a player!

No Sweet 16’s. Not even one Elite Eight! Heck, McNeal, Matthews, and James could not even deliver a .500 March record. So no matter who spins it, the numbers do not lie –the three of them were mediocre on judgment day. Point out all the Notre Dame wins you want, a lack of March wins seals a not great enough verdict.

For the very, very, very last time:

(1) Jean Felix.
(2) 'Rel out, Crean shits the sheets against his mentor.
(3) Miracle shot by 8-foot guy in overtime. 'Rel goes for 30.
(4) Blow-for-blow with a deep and talented (though pussy-ish) Mizzou team. 'Rel with 30, Wes with 24.

This is not 'spin.' These are 'facts.' I realize they get in the way of your argument, and I'm sorry for that, but ignoring them doesn't make your argument stronger.

Those three never delivered on a March glory promise. The three amigos came through in some big games but that glory only mattered in getting an NCAA invitation. Beat Duke in November, win the CBE and Great Alaskan Shootout, knock off the Panthers in late January at Pittsburgh, and beat Wisconsin in Madison are impressive feats but Air Jordan does not consider those feats legendary. Dwyane Wade did that type of stuff in a November week.

Dwyane Wade never beat Madison in Madison. Very few people beat Madison in Madison. I hate them, but give credit where credit's due -- Bucky is fucking tough at home. I consider that feat pretty damn impressive.

Oh, and also: Dwyane Wade lost to 12th-seeded Tulsa in the first round of the tournament in 2002.

Those three were supposed to bring a bunch of one shining moments instead we got more close enoughs than Phil Mickelson excluding actually having a big win.

Holy fuck. Is that supposed to be a sentence? Are you allergic to punctuation?

Enough salt in the wounds yet? Those three poured enough with two wins and enough would of, could of, should of, would ofs than Gary Busey. James, Matthews, and McNeal now define coming up short. Harsh words but it is criticism that must be showered down. The three of them showed big time promise on a January night when Steve Novak rained down 41 and those guys did enough to beat a really good UConn team. All we got from then on was some really good regular season wins and more heartbreak than Jennifer Aniston (anybody catching on to a repeating theme?).

If the theme is: "Your analogies suck," then, yes, I'm catching on quite nicely, thanks. What the fuck is the Gary Busey reference supposed to mean? I hope -- I pray -- that you were writing this while intoxicated.

They were talented, tough, and confident. It turns out they were just special players but not champions. The almost great guard triumvirate fought their hearts out in every game but it was never good enough to put meaningful banners in the Bradley Center. Right or wrong that is what those three are finally judged on.

Well, that's what they're judged on by morons like you and MikeHunt. The rest of us gold-sweater vested alumni recognize that the results of a six-game tournament aren't the alpha and omega of the Amigos' legacy.

Here's how I judge them: when 'Rel, Dom and Wesley first stepped on campus, Marquette basketball was in serious danger of fading back into irrelevance. Remember, the year before, we struggled to break 40 against WESTERN MICHIGAN AT HOME IN THE NIT. Marcus Jackson was playing point forward. We wasted two years of Travis Diener, and two years of Steve Novak. We were picked at the bottom of the Big East, and it was almost-universally agreed that, along with South Florida, Rutgers, Seton Hall, and DePaul, we'd serve as appetizers for the likes of UConn and Pitt and 'Cuse and Louisville. Instead of worrying that Crean would leave, some of us were growing more concerned that he wouldn't leave, ever.

Now, compare that to where we are now. Do we get recruits like Maymon and Cadougan and Buycks and Roseboro and Williams (and Taylor, even though he ultimately bailed) without those three? Is Marquette on Jamil Wilson's short list without Dom, 'Rel, and Wesley? Hell, is Tom Crean at Indiana without Dom, 'Rel, and Wesley? I say no.

Those three would be the first to admit that almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Oh by the way, those three have to deal with this criticism because they can not hide behind the fact that they played four years for next to nothing while this school made millions. The last game means they are now pros and sadly they can not hide by a character that could leave an example for the next seven generations of students. Those guys did not win enough when it mattered most even though the three of them will graduate on time and leave a campus better people than those that hold public office.

Let me get this straight: they have to deal with your misguided criticism (not that any of them have hidden from this type of shit before -- maybe you missed 'Rel patiently answering questions for an hour last night) "because they can not [sic] hide behind the fact that they played four years for next to nothing while this school made millions." I'm not great at logic, but there's no causal connection there. Saying that they have to deal with the criticism because they can't not deal with the criticism (it hurt my head just to write that) ... well, I guess that's about on par with the rest of this shit. You're nothing if not consistent, Todd Welter.

Maybe it was because those guys just never executed when it mattered most.

Again, for emphasis: 'Rel with 30 last night, Wesley with 24 and 7, after 'Rel scored 30 last year against Stanford.

Let’s be honest without Steve Novak, the three of them were more maddening than Alice in Wonderland down the stretch.

Or as maddening as trying to read a "column" by Todd Welter.

Look, bag o' dicks, when you get down to it, the fact that you chose to use 1000 words to mindlessly attack three 22-year-olds who did nothing but represent your alma mater with the utmost dignity, one of whom who wanted nothing more than to play one last game with his brothers-in-arms despite the fact that his foot is still broken, and the other two who did everything humanly possible to win that March game that means so damn much to you -- well, I think it says a lot more about you, and what a pathetic little miscreant you are, than it does about them.

Get fucked, Todd Welter.

What a douche...

I have stuck up for Todd Welter before because I know him. I will not stick up for him anymore. Read this and try not to punch or choke the closest thing next to you. It was a good thing my students were at phy. ed. when I read this.


Everyone send him a message and let him know he should have his MU degree taken away from him.

Complete douchebag!

Why I'm Not Upset.

Normally, after a loss like yesterday's, I'd be apoplectic. (Witness last year's Stanford debacle.) This year, after this loss, I'm strangely calm. For the last twelve hours, I've tried to figure out why. I think I've settled on the reason; I call it "The Tale of Two Athletes":

On our side, you had a guy, quite literally, out there on one leg. He couldn't jump, he couldn't shoot (because he hasn't practiced in three weeks), and he could barely run. And still -- he went 13 minutes in the first half, four in the second, and was so distraught about not being on the court at the end of the game that he went billy goat on a towel.

On the other side, you had a guy fouled with 5 seconds left who took himself out of the game for the crucial free throws, but then immediately ran to the scorer's table to try to check in for the final seconds. (And, no, I don't much care that he allegedly fractured his wrist a month ago. If you're too hurt to shoot free throws, you're too hurt to play defense.)

One player defines courage. The other defines being chickenshit.

I'm glad we're on the right side of that scoreboard.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Thank You Seniors

Well, the road has finally ended in Boise. What a great (yet nerve racking) four year ride it has been. In regards to today's loss to Missouri let me first say, what a great game! Yes Marquette came out on the losing end, but this team once again showed what they have been putting on display throughout their four year career..........toughness and a never say die attitude. Simply put, these guys are Warriors! I am bummed that MU couldn't pull this one off, but Jerel and Wes put on one hell of a show in the second half. Their frantic offense in the first half and the turnovers that ensued was simply too much to overcome in the end. They fought back, and in my opinion were the better team even without Dom, but the final dagger and unfortunate play of the game came when Hayward hesitated and stepped on the end line when trying to inbound down 2 and 5.5 seconds to play. I haven't seen such an occurrence in, oh I don't know, A DECADE! I feel really bad for Lazar and don't blame him for the loss at all. It just seems that this team always finds unusual ways to lose games.

What seems to be a reoccurring theme with Coach Williams is his utmost confidence in his upperclassmen to run an offense during important late game possessions. In my opinion, the series that led to Marquette's demise was the possession in which MU was up 1 with roughly a minute to play. As the shot clock ticked down to the low teens, Acker tried to get the ball to Jerel but was denied by Missouri. With 11 seconds in the shot clock Acker dribbled towards the top of the key, had an open lane to the bucket, but pulled back and dribbled the ball towards Butler and handed him the ball with approximately 3 seconds left on the shot clock. Butler heaved a 3 with a defender in his face and eventually air balled it which resulted in a shot clock violation. Now I have mentioned this before, and most of the QB has disagreed with me on the issue, but again I think that Buzz should have called a timeout (we had 2 remaining at the time) when the clock reached 11. The offense was stagnant and Jerel/Wes couldn't even get the ball in their hands. This falls squarely on the shoulders of Buzz. In what may have been the deciding possession of the game, Buzz needs to realize that sometimes his veteran players need to regroup and have a play drawn out for them......especially when it's the final minute in the 2nd round of the NCAA tournament and you have control of the game. Many of us have pooh poohed the issue, but in our last 3 losses this year (Syracuse, Villanova, Missouri), we have had at least a 1 point lead with under a minute to play and possession of the ball. Not 1 time has Buzz called a timeout to center the teams focus and give them the best opportunity to get points out of the possession .........and as we all know we eventually lost the game in all 3 of those situations. Everyone says play from the front, but for whatever reason playing from the front is a bit of a curse with these guys. Unfortunate when they are good at getting to the free throw line and knocking them down when they get there.

In spite of my opinion on the timeout issue with Buzz, by no means am I calling for his head. Overall I like what he did with the program this season. He was handed a good basketball team, but due to the shake of the coaching staff, he was also handed a program that was in a bit of an unstable state. In a short time period, Buzz was able to restock the cupboard after the decommittments of Nick Williams and Tyshawn Taylor and the transfers of Scott Christopherson and Trevor Mbakwe. So for that I applaud him.

Seniors - While its unfortunate that the season is now over, I am glad that Dominic James was able to put on the uniform and play with the other seniors one last time. Dom played more minutes than was expected, but it was obvious that he hadn't played for 3.5 weeks as he looked unsure of himself out there......something I've never seen out of him in four years. This group was a hell of a lot of fun to watch for four years, and while few gave Marquette a shot at even being competitive in the Big East, these guys were not only competitive but were 1 of 3 Big East schools to post 10+ wins over those four years. That alone defines how successful they really were.

With the mass exodus that's occurring and what sounds like a great mix of players coming in, it's possible that we'll have the next group of amigos in Maymon, Cadougan, Williams, and Roseboro. So keep the faith Marquette fans! Just as the 3 amigos came in and joined Novak to form a competitive Big East team, the incoming class will be joining a very good Lazar Hayward and company so the dropoff may not be as large as some may think. When time permits I will be giving a detailed pre-season report on the '09-10 Golden Eagles.

Ring Out Ahoya!

See you next November.


What more can be said (besides other curse words).

One of the best second half's of basketball I have ever seen.  Jerel and Wesley wouldn't let us lose.  It was a matter of inches and those inches came on the end of Lazar's right foot.

What a great group of seniors.  What a great group of guys.  It just sucks to end it that way.

Dominic James to receive Jason Kendall Iron Man award

I was awoken by a text from the Badger informing me that, while she was groggy, she was pretty positive that she had just heard that DJ was cleared to play today. Skeptical as I was, I checked the Urinal Sentinel and sure enough, Dominic James will play.

I swear to God, Jason Kendall must have performed this surgery and used some special adamantium screw to secure that bone in DJ's foot. The BEST outlook was supposed to be a 90 day recovery this has been just shy of 30 days at this point. And, he actually practiced for 90 minutes yesterday so I have no doubt that he will be able to provide a lift no matter how limited his playing time might be.

I think this might be enough of a miracle to prompt me to go get some Jeebus time in this morning. Enjoy the ride bitches.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

A Saturday of basketball

The first round of the tournament is over.  A full two days packed to the brim with basketball has flowed through our brains.  Okay... I'm going to stop waxing poetic like a Urinal Sentinel writer.

How f'ing awesome is the NCAA tournament?  It's the best time of the year.  The games on Thursday really didn't provide any great moments or heartbreaking moments, but then Friday came.  It all started for us with our beloved Golden Eagles.  They boys in blue and gold proved that they will never make it easy on us.  You know when else they didn't make it easy on us?  2003.  The only "easy" game in that stretch was Kentucky.  Not saying that will happen this year, but comparisons are fun.

The last two games of the night were ridiculous.  Siena and Ohio State go for 2 overtimes while the Badgers bored everyone by extending their horrible brand of Big Televen basketball into 5 extra minutes.  Oh yeah, and probably the first "real" upset of the day with Cleveland State beating Wake Forest... which totally f'd my brackets.  Thanks, Wake!

Most importantly, we get another game with the incredible group of seniors.  I'm not ready to let them go and I know they aren't ready to be done with us.  It really sucks watching James sit on the bench chewing on a towel.  It is awesome to see him talking to and coaching the other players during time outs and when they come to the bench.  I bet this young man has a future as a bench leader.

Our future also looks bright.  I had the pleasure of watching the Madison Memorial versus Bay Port game last night.  There I got a glimpse into the future.  The future looks bright.  Jeronne Maymon is an absolute beast and he's got a set of nads on him that are right up there with the 4 gentlemen leaving this program.  He hit every single one of this free throws in overtime to propel his Spartans to the Championship game tonight against Racine Horlick.  Out of the free throws (I think it was 5 or 6) only one of them was not pure and touched a little rim.  This kid is composed and will be a great player on our team.  Once he puts on some more muscle and gets "Big East" ready, I could see a bit of Dejaun Blair in him.  It's a bit of a stretch at this moment, but he has a nose for the ball on the glass and did have a double double last night.

2 more days of basketball tournament awesomeness left this weekend.  Then it's back to the boring life until Thursday.  Fire up, Marquette!  Ring out Ahoya.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Shit Fuck I'm Going to Die

Holy shit, what a scare. Whew! I was worried as hell. I'm sure the kids at the school across the street heard me swearing during the second half. I'm getting drunk on Woodword Reserve now. Go Cornell. At least I was right about Lazar.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Stuck at work on Friday

While I would much rather be at a bar or home watching the MU game and the rest of the Friday match-ups, I will be stuck at work. My request for time off was denied due to a significant number of my coworkers already having requested and received the day off. Since my honesty failed, I suggest that those of you who have not revealed your plans to the boss yet review this years Top 10 Excuses provided by collegehoops.net.

My new plan of action:
Step 1: Bring laptop to work to stay up to date - avoid issues with IT Dept by accessing free wifi provided by Starbucks across the street... I might feel guilty if they didn't charge me $5 for their crack cocaine in cup.
Step 2: Do my banker thing - take a long lunch at just the right time so I can catch the majority of the MU game. If game goes to OT "I bumped into..." or send random e-mails via blackberry so people think that I am at my desk.
Step 3: Spend afternoon contacting customers that I know are NCAA fans so we can talk upsets.
Step 4: Stock office fridge with beer - plenty of my coworkers are lushes and sometime late afternoon will be easily persuaded to drink beer and check out scores online so we can update brackets.
Step 5: 5:00pm - I'm free... Miller time.

I hope those of you who have the day off will have a few shots or bombs in my honor.

Will the road end in Boise?

With the lack of discussion concerning Marquette's first round matchup with Utah St, and the fact that the most action this site is getting is regarding the opening of Step by Step, I thought I would take it upon myself to try and ignite what could be our final pre-game discussion of the 2008-2009 season. Rubie, I am impressed and amused (and actually somewhat concerned....did you lose your job?) with your sitcom knowledge, but we are just over 12 hours away from our Holy War with the mormons......wait.....I mean we are just over 12 hours away from a rare grudge match with WAC conference champ Utah St. Let's Get It On!

Utah St - I think mormon, I think old whities, I think plurality. Yes! My initial thoughts were confirmed when I opened the first Utah St article and learned that their go to guy was a 26 year old red headed (was he a ginger? don't remember) by the name of Mike...no, Gary Wilkinson. Anyhow, I don't know anything about this team other than they like to run set plays, work the clock to find the best shot possible, and try and find this Wilkinson character. Apparently, they rank very high nationally in both FG and 3pt FG percentage because they are so patient in their offense.

So what do I think about the matchup? While I understand that they have a very talented 6'9" post player, I don't necessarily fear this defensive assignment for Burke considering he has already played the likes of Dejuan Blair, Hasheem Thabeet, Luke Harangody, Greg Monroe, and Dante Cunningham (to name a few).......all of which are far more talented than Wilkinson IMO. I'm sure Wilkinson will get his, but I fear what his support cast will do more. Since Dom went down, MU's overall defense has been mediocre at best. Game after game, MU surrendered unordinarily high field goal percentages to their opponents. If they want to have a shot tomorrow, they CANNOT surrender an opponent FG% of 50%. This is my #1 key to the game - We'll put up plenty of points, but we can't surrender a ton....so DEFEND!

Second, I think that Marquette needs to come out of the gates with intensity and toughness. They have been notoriously slow starters this year, and I don't recommend playing from behind against a team that is patient on offense and doesn't turn the ball over. Comparitively, Marquette is much more experienced than Utah St. They play in a much tougher conference, and this is their fourth consecutive NCAA tournament appearance. Act like it! Play smart and attack. MU is much more athletic, so Jerel and Wes should be able to penetrate and get to the rack or the free throw line at will. They really need to take advantage of this. If MU can avoid falling in love with the 3 (paging Jerel McNeal) and attacks the basket, they should win this game. Their talent, athleticism, and experience should trump everything that Utah St brings to the table (even if Gary Wilkinson has more wives than all of MU's players combined). So let's go get 'em! I'm hesitant/nervous as I always am, but we are the better team. Let's get this one and get a repeat of the '03 second round matchup of Mizzou. Good luck gentleman! D3, if we win tomorrow, I urge you to have a Woodford Reserve in my honor as I will be sitting in meetings and teleconferences for most of the day.......life is good.

Ring Out Ahoya! (Fixed it.)

On Sitcoms Set In Wisconsin.

There was some discussion on the MU Scout board yesterday about things Milwaukee is known for. Amidst the brats, beer, and obesity references was a brief discussion of "That '70s Show," which was set in the fictional Wisconsin town of Point Place.

As I mentioned on the board, one was never able to conclusively determine where, exactly, Point Place was located. According to the producers of the show, it's a suburb of Green Bay (which is something of an oxymoron). At the same time, though, Point Place is apparently near Kenosha, since Eric & Co. can travel to Chicago in around an hour.

Now, because I'm somewhat anal (that's what she said), this kind of shit drives me absolutely insane.

But the "That '70s Show" mystery location pales in comparison to my favorite sitcom-set-in-Wisconsin clusterfuck:

The opening credits of "Step by Step."

"Step by Step," you may unfortunately recall, was a cheap knock-off of the "Brady Bunch" -- divorced parents, blended family, step-siblings probably fucking, all that shit. I can't tell you much more about the show, other than the fact that the dude who was in Kickboxer played a bizarre surfer-type cousin. And that it featured TV's Patrick Duffy, apparently before Patrick Duffy became Scuzzlebutt's leg. Oh, and Suzanne Somers was in it. (Her breasts also had a starring role.)


"Step by Step" was allegedly set in Port Washington, Wisconsin. And, like every good early- to -mid-90s sitcom, it featured a minute-and-a-half long song-and-dance, "hey, look how much fun we're having!" intro. In case you don't remember it -- and, please, pay special attention to the first five seconds and the last twenty:


The first shot tells us we're in Port Washington, Wisconsin, population: 9358. Then we're immediately shown a giant roller coaster, the kind you'd only find at a Six Flags-type park. And sure enough: we eventually see a sprawling, multi-acre amusement park, replete with roller coasters and Ferris wheels and all other kinds of crazy shit.

In Port Washington. Population 9358.

That's enough to get me going, but it doesn't take the cake. No, the cake-taking comes in the last 20 seconds of the clip, when the family (save for the dweeby fag with the glasses, who apparently vagged out and decided to hang with Grandma while the rest of his family had a kick-ass time at the amusement park) rides that giant coaster.

First, note the ridiculous attempt to make it look like the family is actually riding the coaster. Good try, folks. Maybe bring a fan in there the next time to make it look like the people are, you know, moving. (Seriously, the special effects in Total Recall are ashamed of that shit.) But the piece de resistance comes in the last shot, when we pan out from the coaster and see ...

An ocean. For one, I hope that this body of water was supposed to be Lake Michigan, and the producers couldn't find any stock footage. More importantly: apparently, the producers of "Step by Step" would have us believe that the designers of this amusement park saw fit to build a wooden fucking roller coaster that abuts a massive body of water. And check out how ferocious those breakers are -- from the looks of those waves, and from the absence of any kind of discernible shoreline, it looks like this coaster is getting pummeled by waves. Beautiful.

That said, this kind of opening did appropriately set the stage for a craptacular show like "Step by Step." At least the chick who played the tomboy turned out to be incredibly hot. I hope the dweeby fag got to hit that.

It's Finally Here

Happy Opening Day QB friends!

Here is a little something to get you warmed up for the best weekend in sports.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

University of Wisconsin-Madison and UW-Madison both asked to opine on State of Wisconsin

Apparently the State of Wisconsin is using a new slogan to attract tourists, "Live like you mean it".

While my favorite part is about this being a Bacardi slogan (covered later), I want to point out that the journalist was able to find two credile sources that appear to be at seemingly different educational institutions within the State of Wisconsin:
1) University of Wisconsin-Madison law professor A.D.
2) UW-Madison professor T.O.

Anyway, "Live like you mean it" apparently is a Bacardi slogan which is fitting considering the State of Drunkeness'... excuse me, State of Wisconsin's reputation. I know Reid, Kirby, and Va Jay Jay can attest to this.

However, if we're going to use some sort of alcohol slogan, wouldn't we be better off adopting Wendell as the State mascot and switch it to "Living the High Life"?

It's St. Patty's Day. It's warm. I've been drinking outside. Peace out bitches.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Q@B's Brush With Greatness(ish)

Well, as you fellas may have heard, I am the guest commentator on all things Marquette hoops for Deadspin this week. Here's the column I just submitted - you get to read it here first!! This will be posted sometime this week. It will also include a link to our very own humble site. So...batten down the hatches, we could have some gremlins coming to the site. In the meantime, let's get some good content on here!!

More Dominic James Melodrama
The oft-maligned Dominic James was Marquette’s most important player, despite Doug Gottlieb-esque 46% free throw shooting. In his absence, opponents are shooting 49% and point guards are pouring in nearly 20 ppg. Watch how Marquette’s defense holds up, particularly Maurice Acker, against dribble penetration and fighting through high screens. Marquette will rarely go over a high screen, increasing their vulnerability to a hot shooting guard (paging A.J. Price). On offense, MU misses Nic’s ability to finish on the break and his dribble penetration. End of game execution is also a question mark as James was the clear go-to guy in tough situations.

No Longer on Jay Bilas’ Speed Dial
Marquette rushed to hire assistant Brent “Buzz” Williams after national media darling Tom Crean left a talented group of seniors to coach a student manager, Timmy Lupus and Ollie at Indiana,. A Texan through and through, Buzz guzzles gallons of sweet tea in between dips. He is brutally, sometimes uncomfortably, honest with the media, even revealing that Lazar Hayward is two inches shorter than listed. His penchant for not calling timeouts, ever, has driven MU fans crazy. The future looks bright after reeling in a Top 20 class for 2009-2010. Look for Buzz to try some junk defenses to throw off the opposition. A 1-3-1 was effective against plodding Wisconsin and a small lineup with 6’5” Wesley Matthews playing the five helped defeat Providence and Notre Dame.

Your choice on these two – the latter may be too personal, but still tragic/funny.
Jimmy Legs!
Everyone knows Marquette is short, but the rebounding has to come from somewhere. A key X-factor down low is 6th man Jimmy “Legs” Butler. The 6’6” forward has come out of no where after signing in April. He has averaged 10 points and 7 boards over his past 6 games, including a 19 point effort in the Big East Tournament loss to Villanova.

It’s Like the Heidi Game…Without the Pigtails
Marquette-Villanova, Big East Tournament quarterfinals. MU fights back from a 16 point deficit and is up one, inbounding the ball with 40 seconds left. As soon as the ball in inbounded, the Milwaukee Time Warner cable czars switch over to the monthly, ear piercing Emergency Broadcast Signal. After an interminable wait, Time Warner switches back to the game just in time for Marquette fans to absorb the sight of the Villanova players splayed all over the floor celebrating their improbable victory. Thanks Time Warner – hello DirecTV!

Oh boy. Get that sick day ready...

According to a few sources out there, the boys in blue and gold will be playing at 10:30 Boise time. Why do you start a game at that time? Why?

For all you non-math-time zone majors out there, that is 11:30 here.

Do I let the school know that I will be sick on Friday today, or do I wait until Thursday...

Sunday, March 15, 2009


I don't know who the fuck Utah State is, nor do I know where their school is located (though I'm sure DS3 will enlighten us in 8.3 seconds), but I do know that they'll likely bring a fuckload of Mormons to Boise.

Wait ... uh oh ... I hope I was wrong about that conclusion.

Aw, fuck it. I like it. I watched PAC 10 basketball in spurts all week. Having done so, I can safely proclaim that no team outside our conference scares me.

We're battled tested. We're ready. We've got Coach Dom emulating Coach Lance from Varsity Blues.


Friday, March 13, 2009

Because the Bible Tells Me So...

Yes, "The Fielding Bible" has verified what all have known for a long time, Rickie Weeks is a total fucktard!

My favorite miscue: Letting a ball roll under his glove or between his legs -- 9 times. I think even Ed Rooney would like to hear that repeated... 9 times... 9 times. The jig is up Rickie, your ass is mine.

A few suggestions made by Rob Neyer of ESPN.com are obvious. Alcides Escobar allows us a little freedom to make some adjustments and I've been a big fan of the possibility of shifting Hardy to accomodate Escobar and improve the infield. Also, if they are hell bent on keeping Rickie for his alleged major league ability, letting him try another position might not be a bad idea. Not sure how I feel about the suggestion of moving Braun to 1st base though; I guess his mobility would be an improvement over Prince.

That's all I got... here's a quick plug for that show at the Rave tomorrow night at 6pm. Balls! See ya soon!

A Little Trip Down Memory Lane...

God I love this time of year!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Last Play

I just saw the last play of the MU/Nova game this afternoon, and all I can say is: What the fuck Jerel?!?!? Look, I understand that he's a gambling defender that likes to drift off his own guy to try to make a play and I accept that. I know that's part of what makes him the player he is, even though sometimes it bites us in the ass. But where the hell was he going on that play? He takes a stutter step to his right, towards the 3 point arc... where there is no one to guard. I have watched the play ad nauseum and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what he was doing there. The only thing I can even guess, is that he thought the guy behind him was drifting to the wing. Either that or he had 'Nova on the money line. If he had stepped up to double the guy with the ball and then he dished for the winning bucket, ok, I can understand that. If he had stayed home and the dude gets by Butler and gets it up and in for the win, I can understand that too. I don't like it in any scenario, but at least in those cases I can kind of understand. But to drift to nowhere, to guard no one just leaves me shaking my head. To see a lapse like that, at a time like that just makes it even tougher to swallow.

That being said, I still think we're worthy of a 6 seed based on our body of work. We played a universally agreed 3 seed, dead even, on a neutral court. Now, I know we won't get that, but I still feel like we've earned that. Maybe I'm biased, I don't know. That W would've really helped the cause. Damn.

Well, How 'Bout Those Brewers?

Since it's painfully obvious that the basketball season is over - what are your thoughts on the Brewers this year? I'm not too bullish. The pitching was great last year, but I can't get too excited about a Suppan-Gallardo-Parra-Bush-Looper starting rotation. I do expect Prince to have a big year. Please disregard my prediction that Billy would have a big year last year.


Let me just say that if our starters look tired against Nova today, the blame can be put largely on Coach Williams. MU is up 30+ pts with 6 min's to play and Jerel, Wes, and Lazar area all still in the game. Inexcusable! Not only for rest, but also the potential for injury. After the way Buzz handled the end of the Syracuse game and now leaving starters in with a 30pt margin and 5 to play, I am beginning to collect mental asterisks about his coaching.

I'm not too optimistic about today's game. Villanova has been playing really well the last 8 weeks, and their depth is probably going to be our demise. Jerel and Wes have been shooting poorly since James went down, so they need to be hot to have a chance. Furthermore, we can't give up 70% shooting and 100pts to them......enough with the O'lay bullsh*t. I predict double digit loss.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Red Storm

I'm going to do my banker thing and find a place with multiple televisions that offers a late liquid lunch. Any thoughts on today's MU vs. St. John's match up? Obviously, St. John's will have a larger contingency of fans.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Diamond Shreddies

I know that this forum is reserved for sports, girls, and Sonic, but I couldn't help myself. This is an actual Canadian brand produced by Post, who decided to have a little fun with their consumers. They "switched" from square Shreddies to diamond Shreddies...and "relaunched" the cereal as a new product from Post - Diamond Shreddies...and people actually believed this was something totally new. The video is 100% real. The campaign was also mentioned on brandchannel.com and has some more videos of the focus groups.

Bubble Burst - Cincinnati

Thanks for playing 'Nati and enjoy the NIT...you just got beat by (wait for it) DePaul and Ol' Gil himself. Does getting your first conference win of the year in the conference tourney save your job next year? Only time will tell.

JS actually allows good writing?

I know this sounds ridiculous, but the folks over at JS actually allow good writing to reach the masses.

Since I don't read much of JS since I think it is crap, I'm not familiar with the work of Garry D. Howard. Based on this article, maybe I should read him more often.

I saw this link in the sports section of JS Online: Howard: Character held seniors together.

I thought, "This better be about Marquette." Who else could they be writing about and speaking highly of a senior class? I was very pleased when I clicked on the link and saw a picture of Matthews and McNeal.

Below are some excerpts. I think it is good.

Jerel McNeal, Dominic James, Wesley Matthews and Dwight Burke will never again dress up in those wonderful Marquette University home uniforms and display their  characteristic verve on the Bradley Center court before one of the more enthusiastic collegiate crowds in the nation.
That bus has left the building.

Is this the best written opening ever? No, but it is well done I think. MikeHunt wishes he could write this well. I liked that he called it their characteristic verve.

But before all the speculation about what they can accomplish in the postseason on their way out MU's doors, let's take a moment to reflect on their four years as the leading men on campus.

Thank you Mr. Howard. Someone that is not talking about them falling on their face without James. It's about time someone looks at the fact these four guys are great human beings on and off the court.

What you will not read here is a recitation of NCAA violations, academic failures, arrests, wild nights or any other madness that you read well before March with some regularity in connection with college athletics.

This has to be a shot at the rodents, doesn't it? I mean, who else is he talking about?

He then goes on for a bit with some drivel from an interview with Judas. We'll skip that part.

Together, they have amassed 92 victories, sixth all-time in MU's storied history.
That includes four straight seasons of 10 or more victories in the Big East along with four straight NCAA appearances (well, it will be four in just a few minutes).

This gets lost in the shuffle all the time. It's been awhile since a class has taken us to the dance four years in a row. Sure, we would have liked to have seen more than one win there, but it is awesome getting there. And, the reason we got bumbed two of those years was because one guy had a career night and Jerel was hurt the other.

"It's the feeling you have when you have warriors, and that is what they are, warriors." . . .
Warriors with college degrees, dignity and class.
Enough said.

Okay... so he called them warriors. I'll live with is since I like this article. I also like that he says with degrees (all 4 will graduate), dignity (this does apply), and class (I've never seen more class from 4 guys... sure they beat their chests and yell, but who else goes over and consoles a senior who just fouled out in the tournament, who restrains themselves from choking Bobby Gonzalez?).


I hope that this guy writes more stuff like this. I could be way off and he might be a total hack, but I doubt it. I might actually pay more attention to JS now... but probably not.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Greetings From Arizona, Bitches!

First, my apologies to FPMKE for not dissecting MikeHunt's most recent shit sandwich.  Kudos to Sheets' Va Jay Jay for ably pinch hitting.  Reading over that column and Pooter's post, I was struck by two things: (1) MikeHunt owning a rat terrier is, officially, the least surprising thing I have ever heard; and (2) as I wrote when MikeHunt started blogging, I can't believe that he felt he needed a forum to relay more of his thoughts when he's turning in shit-tastic shit like that twice weekly.  

Anyway, hello from the northern outskirts of Phoenix, mein bitches.  We got back an hour or so ago from our first spring training tilt -- Giants vs. Crew in Scottsdale.

Quick hit thoughts from Rubie:

(1) Manny Parra looked good in four innings.  That said, when you're facing a line-up featuring somebody named Pablo Sandoval hitting third, you'd better look good. (Also: Mrs. Q found herself taken aback by Manny's suprising good looks.  I think it's probably just the flavor savor that he's rocking right now.)

(2) J.J. Hardy had a nice two-for-three day with two crisp singles off of Barry Zito, and turned in a dazzling play when he ranged to his right, made a backhand pick, and fired a dart to Prince to get the runner by a half-step.  He's also in mid-season form in terms of hotness, according to Mrs. Q.

(3) Prince has definitely lost weight, but he appears to be wearing the same size pants he wore at the end of last season.  There was a lot of room in the caboose of the pants, is what I'm sayin'.

(4) As you might expect, Chris Duffy heard his share of "DUFF MAN!" from the well-liquored, sun-baked Brewers contingent.  And he looked OK, too.

(5) Alcides Escobar is a lot taller than I thought he'd be.  He looks to be a legit 6'2" or so.  Lanky, incredibly smooth in the field, and unbelievably quick.  I want to go to that.

(6) The Giants are the oldest collection of players ever assembled.  Rich Aurilia?  Are you serious?  Is this his fourth tour of duty with the team?  And Edgar Renteria, Randy Winn, Bob Howry ... I think some of them have grandsons in the minors.

Next up is a Thursday game, with the Japanese WBC squad taking on the Cubs at Ho Ho Kam.  My only regret is that China didn't advance to the second round, because if the Cubs were playing China, I would have been able to explore the depths of my hatred for the Cubs by exploring this question: Would I cheer for Communism over the Cubs? 

Actually, that's not that hard.  Yes.  Yes, I would.

MikeHunt ruins sports!

Since Rubie is out of town, and this particular piece by MikeHunt really got to me, I decided to take a stab at showing everyone how bad it is.

Let's start, shall we?

My World of Sports Would be Perfect

Already a bad a column because nothing this guy could do would be perfect... except maybe a fart.

Things are going to get better, my friend. After the economy rebounds, we will have a leaner, simpler and more efficient way of life.
Accordingly, sports will be operated on a smaller, less-wasteful scale. And you will be very happy about that, indeed.

Not too much to hate about those sentences. I'm no economist, but that makes sense. I also agree that if sports were less-wasteful it would be good. Actually I don't. That's one good thing about sports. It's extravagant. We can live our lives through these athletes. Are they wages ridiculous? Yes. Who cares. They are entertaining.

There will be no commissioners, no Olympic chiefs, no conference bosses. There will be one Sports Czar - me. Because wanton extravagance got us into this mess in the first place, we are here to restore accountability. So, enjoy this utopian vision for your sports future. Otherwise, you will get nothing and like it.

MikeHunt as Sports Czar. Yeah. That will work.

For high schools, there will be no more cross-country games. Instead of being on airplanes for the glory and profit of cable TV, the children will be in class.

Stupid. Sports coverage is getting younger. Seeing cross-country high school games can be very cool. It is awesome to see it in person when a recruit plays against local competition at the Al.

There will be no more shamefully exploitive prep signing-day TV shows. College scholarships will be signed in privacy during study hall, lunch or after school. There will be no more recruiting gurus, who can project a kid's future no better than my rat terrier.

Prep signing day is a little ridiculous, but it is a time for these guys to shine before they are beaten down in college. Go ahead. Oh, and he owns a rat terrier? No comment.

There will be no playoff system for Division I college football. There will be no polls and 12 bowl games. After being certified, 11 voters will be chosen to select a national champion. If a playoff system existed, you'd have nothing to complain about. Trust us, you are happier when you can complain.

D3S can comment on this since he is our resident expert.

There will be no conference championship games. The regular season will be limited to 10 games with a bye so these kids don't get so beat up. The one nonconference game will be against a major-conference opponent. Wisconsin will thank us for disallowing Cal Poly.
The college basketball tournament will be reduced to 32 teams. There will be no conference tournaments. Regular-season games will actually mean something.

The above sentences are so mindblowingly stupid that I can't even type right now. A 32 team tournament? Is the only person that likes that? I love the tourney more than any other sporting event and this jerk wants to make it shorter and less interesting? Just goes to show you that he knows nothing and that his rat terrier could write a better newspaper column.

There will be no more bonuses for college coaches. Players from the revenue sports, the ones who make millions for the school, will get a $400-a-month living allowance in addition to their scholarships. Any bonuses the coaches would've received will go into a pool to pay the stipends.
Scholarships will bind a player to a school for four years. If a young man wishes to go pro, he may do so out of high school for any sport and assume all risks for football. Coaches must honor their contracts. No more job-hopping.

This group starts off okay. Part of me thinks the student athletes should get something more. I know free education is awesome, but they do go through a lot of crap and make a ton (major sports that is) for the universities. The binding scholarship is not a horrible idea, but it just wouldn't work. I'm actually glad our coach job-hopped, so I have no comment there.

Franchise relocations for pro sports will be banned. Cities on both ends will no longer be held hostage. If a team cannot pay its bills, it will be contracted. No more expansion, either.
Hard salary caps will be imposed on all leagues. So will minimum payrolls. All contracts will be nonguaranteed with equitable buyouts upon termination. Everyone would be a free agent at the end of the season, but players would be substantially rewarded to stay put.

Sweet. Let's contract broke teams. There goes half of the NBA. Great idea. That ought to make the league more interesting... not. Everyone would be a free agent at the end of the season? Does anyone else see the huge problems? Substantially rewarded to stay put? I thought there were salary caps? Is a reward getting to read a column about them written by your rat terrier?

The NBA and NHL will play 50 games. Eight teams will qualify for the playoffs. In-game entertainment will be limited to the hardwood and the ice. No more T-shirt cannons and eardrum-puncturing racket.
Baseball will play 132 games with the wild card. The NFL will play one exhibition game and maintain everything else except the Pro Bowl.

Stupid. One of the only reasons to go to an NBA is for the shot at a free t-shirt. The baseball season is long, but man do I love it. I agree the Pro Bowl is stupid. They need some sort of adult Double Dare for the players to do. That I would watch.

MLB will no longer supply players to the World Baseball Classic, just as the NBA and NHL will be out of the Olympic business. The Olympics will be completed in nine days and, to greatly reduce venue costs, will be permanently held in Paris and Zurich for the Sport Czar's benefit.

Paris and Zurich for the Czar's benefit? He must really like the food there.

Finally, all cheaters would be given a choice: Permanent exile or the chance to join an anything-goes, Thunderdome-type league in Vegas. The revenue from that alone would pay for everything else.

Yeah, put the cheaters in Vegas. What a great idea.

I think we've all learned what we already knew. MikeHunt doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. Apparently the JS will put anything out there. What a douche

Are we just not going to talk about it?

The Buffet has been extrememly quiet the last few days. I know the loss on Senior Day was rough but come on... not even a Rubie rant on the latest Mike Hunt mess about the Seniors?! A total failure to make light of the failed Eric Gagne experiment?

Friday, March 6, 2009


Alright Zone, the game that you have been waiting for all season and I have yet to get a comment from you. Let me just start off by saying that it is going to be a very emotional day, so I plan on bringing a box of Kleenex and a small bottle of Woodford Reserve. I really don't know what to expect in terms of team performance. We are 0-3 without Dom, but we have played 3 of the better teams in the nation, so I am curious to see how we perform against a team that is more at our level. Syracuse is a very peculiar team, and if I was a fan I would probably be very frustrated. They have a ton of talent but seem to underachieve as an overall unit. However, due to all of that talent there is also the potential for them to be very good.....see our game at Syracuse last year. I am really concerned about Johnny Flynn. I don't think Acker is going to be able to keep him below or near is average output, so I think that this matchup in particular is of the utmost importance. Anyhow, I pray that we win this game. A fourth consecutive loss would cripple our resume and solidify us as a 7-8 seed. Keys to victory: 1. Composure - Jerel is really pressing without Dom. His shooting percentage has been abysmal the last 2 games. He needs to play more within himself and allow the others to create as well. Wes and Lazar are completely capable in helping him out. 2. FT line touches - Wes and Lazar need to get the ball near the free throw line and hit that jumper or get to the rack. I don't want to see the ball moving east to west for the entirety of the shot clock. Penetrate and or get the ball to the man in the middle. 3. Rebounding - Syracuse' bigs dominated MU on the boards last year. We need to limit their offensive rebounding and hopefully grab a few of our own.

I plan on being at HTR by 11am to enjoy a bloody or 2. I can be located near the northeast corner of the bar where The Marine (aka "Blackout", aka "Crawl") will likely be tendin'.

Good luck gentleman and GO MARQUETTE!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Not Sonic, but a favorite

Anyone care to join me?

Buy a drink and get a free roast burger. I might have to save mine for later.


This Sucks.

I cannot watch these games anymore. I got home from work late, had to run some errands, so I only caught the last three minutes of the first half and the first ten of the second.

I do not want to remember this team, this group of seniors, and this season like this. Wes and Jerel are marvelous players, tremendous competitors, and fine representatives of our institution. They are also completely, totally, and undeniably gassed. The tank runs out earlier every game; yesterday, it was around the 15:00 mark of the second half, when they both starting launching threes that never had a prayer of going in, and when the defense just disappeared. Tired legs means more jump shots and less movement on D. It also leads to 90-75 beatdowns that were much, much uglier than the final line indicated.

At this point, with Wes and 'Rel continuing to put in 40 minutes per, with the Black David Eckstein at the point (lots of guts covering up minimal talent), with Jimmy Legs the only option off the bench, and having played 17 Big East games ... we're like a punch-drunk boxer, capable of landing a few punches in short spurts, but unable to sustain a meaningful attack. We're just waiting to get knocked out, every game.

Goddammitall. This fucking sucks.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

To make us feel better...

So, not that we are all feeling too down, I mean no one really expected to come out of Pitt with a big win, it would have been nice, but we were being realistic.  Out of the last 3, that was the one that was the longest shot for us to win.

I have decided to post some videos to help us get through a Thursday at work.  The first one was linked on Deadspin today and about urinated in my pantaloons. 

Oh yeah... and if you are watching at work, put on headphones or make sure no one is around.

This next video was one of the anthems for our weekend trip down to the dirty south.

Another one that is NSFW... unless you work at a whorehouse or have headphones.

The follow up video to the one above. Again... NSFW

Possibly the best part of the last two videos is that they feature a sweet Lumina.

I hope that helps your day.

Go Marquette!

I love the Big East. I hate the Big East

Thank god this 3 game stretch is finally over. I didn't start watching until 18 min's to play in the 2nd half, and apparently (no shock to anyone) I was the bad luck charm as a 6 pt lead went to a 20pt deficit in about 10 minutes. Sorry guys! Anyhow, we now HAVE TO beat Syracuse on Saturday to have any credibility left with the loss of Dominic James. Not that there are any Dominic James haters here, but I say to all of those "Marquette fans" that booed Dom at the BC.....Are you happy now? Not much to say. The 3 game murderers row is over at least and we can concentrate on winning/playing at home and entering the post season. It's unreal that I look forward to getting into the NCAA tournament so we don't have to face the Beasts From the East. My Lord! I'd love to play a Purdue/Miami/Arizona right now. Dicky V said tonight that this year's Big East was the best conference he's ever seen. It's hard to disagree. Well, hard to be really disappointed after losing at #4 Pittsburgh. See you guys Saturday at the BC. Let's kick that wiener Devendorf's ass!


I'm assuming you've all seen the prank on that dude from Collegehumor.com where they put a fake marriage proposal in yankee stadium. if you haven't here's the link:


well the pranked dude got his revenge recently at a Maryland basketball game. its hillarious.


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Pitt Game

Anyone want to meet up for the Pitt game? I don't know where - maybe Zim's or Goolsby's? I am still impressed with Goolsby's wings the last time I was there.

Also - predictions? This game would be tough as hell with James. Without James, we won't be dominant enough in the backcourt to offset the disadvantage in the front court. Pitt over MU by the score of 78-65.

Appreciating James

Great Cracked Sidewalks post about James's defense this year in the Big East. I'll never forget him messing with Truck Bryant so much that Huggy benched him.

A semi-related link about using Sabermetrics for basketball. I wonder where Dom would score on this? The article is long, but very good. It was written by MoneyBall author Michael Lewis.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Buzz Show at the Annex tonight!

I know this has been discussed before, but some of us have talked about going to the Buzz Show with Homer at the Annex tonight. The show starts at 6 and goes until 7. Not sure if this is the last "Live" one of the year, but I think this would be a good one to check out.

I'll go if others are in.

Who's coming with me?

Also, it is much easier to post coherent thoughts on the blog when you aren't black-out drunk.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Son of a Bitch!

I came into the game with such low expectations, but I came away feeling much better about our chances going forward. They played their asses off and in my opinion (and that of many others) they left everything out on the court. Mo and Cooby played awesome and really stepped up, handled the press very effectively and even hit some shots...not having DJ was not the reason we lost this game. Our piss poor shooting, especially from our best player, was the reason we lost. Jimmy had 10 boards...wow...wish he could finish some of the boards off. The first 3 minutes of the second half really killed us as we battled pretty even the rest of the way we just didn't have enough. rel got raped on that steal and dunk during that run. That foul call on Zar on the moving pick was very ticky tack. He made contact on the pick, rolled to the hoop bumping into the guard who went under the pick as he rolled. Rel hits the 3 but its get waved off. Absolute horse shit call as that happens millions of times during the game. Thabeet got away with that shit atleast 5 times when price hit 3's and rel was late getting through the screen. Wes almost hits that last desperation 3 after he tired to draw the foul. I guess I understand you can't reward Wes for that, but damn he jumped. Fucking Edgar Sosa drains that late 3 with Rel in his face...you have to be kidding me. Wes and Jimmy not blocking out Knowles (#2?) on that free throw. How can you let that happen...well on T'will's throws right after that he's fucking pushing Wes in the back (and even forced the ref to walk over and warn him). ah, I'm so pissed off, not from our effort just the fact that we shot like shit and still had a chance to win. I do think that people realized today that we are still a force to be reackon with in our conference and the NCAA's and think we showed the loss of James shouldn't affect our seeding.

The Field Trip...

Right now we are in Louisvillle, Kentucky.

We have gone thru a distillerier tour and all the other fair.

Rupp arena is kind of cool yet kind of sucks.

More to come later.