Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Maybe We Should Throw At The Bench.

Word is that Braun is fightin' mad after getting drilled in the back by Jeff Karstens last night, and he's talkin' pay back: “We play them about 17 more times (actually 13). Tell Mr. Selig, we’ll see what happens. It’s going to be interesting.”

Awesome, and all; who doesn't love a good bean ball war?

But here's the problem:

Who in the hell are the Brewers supposed to throw at?

They hit our best player. So, naturally, we'd throw at their best player: Nate McLouth. But, alas, he's hurt and hasn't played since last Wednesday. Maybe we throw at the guy who's been with the team the longest: Adam Carolla doppelganger (and Brewer killer) Jack Wilson. But, alas, he's also hurt and got put on the DL yesterday. And, dammit, Ryan Doumit is out, too.

I'd feel bad throwing at either of the LaRoche brothers -- they suck so much ass (individually and collectively) that they'd probably end up swinging at the pitch.

Jesus -- that leaves us with Nyjer Morgan, Brian Bixler, Craig Monroe, Jason Jaramillo (who?) ... ugh.

Is it Fred Sanchez? I guess it's Fred Sanchez. Sorry, dude.


Devil's Threesome said...

Fred Sanchez - winner of the "Worst Batting Champion Ever" award.

FPMKE said...

I noted that Jack Wilson was on the DL and may have gotten over-excited about it. I was explaining to the lady friend that Jack Wilson was a Brewers killer on Sunday and she had a tough time believing me since she had never heard of the guy.

Any chance you can post his career numbers vs. the Crew?

Rubie Q said...

His career numbers against the Crew aren't all that impressive:

.285/.343/.396, with 6 homers and 38 driven in.

In fact, those numbers are pretty much in line with his stats against the other NL Central teams (save for the Cards; he sucks ass against the Cards):

Vs. 'Stros: .307/.346/.442, with 9 homers and 38 driven in.

Vs. Reds: .298/.332/.433, with 7 homers and 43 driven in.

Vs. Cubs: .272/.308/.353, with 4 homers and 36 driven in. (OK, that line isn't very good either.)

Fine, maybe I made up the Jack Wilson "Brewer killer" thing. But it sure seemed that like that little fucker always managed to come up big against the Crew.

FPMKE said...

Damn you and your false propaganda Rubie.

I'm going to switch over to Todd Welter's blog so I can enjoy his broad generalizations, overbearing cliches, grammatical inaccuracies, and nonsenscial extrapolation of minimal data.

Rubie Q said...

Somebody was playing with his thesaurus today!

FPMKE said...

Nope... I just know how much D3s likes the word extrapolate.

I did have to check if nonsensical was hyphenated or not.

Softball's Tony Gwynn said...

wait until we play Karstens again and the first pitch during his first at-bat, throw at his ass. you have to get out of this umpiring crew becuase if bushy throws a pitch at one of their guys in the first he might get tossed.

colin said...

I'd like to bean the other Amazing Wilson Twin, Craig. But he doesn't seem to exist anymore.

Rubie Q said...

I fully advocate finding the PCL team Craig Wilson plays for, flying Julio out to the next game, and letting Jorge bury a fastball right in that blond-mulleted fucker's back.

God, I hated Craig Wilson.