Monday, April 20, 2009

A Monday Two-Fer!

MikeHunt with lots to say this morning. We tackled his dunderheaded argument for why Madison needs to bring back baseball last week, but, on Sunday, he devoted his column to that topic. If you were hoping for a more developed argument ... well, then you're probably new to Milwaukee and haven't read MikeHunt's stuff before:

Unfortunately, baseball is a sport that allows the Big Ten Conference to have truth in advertising. From Minnesota to Indiana to Pennsylvania, from Michigan to Iowa to Illinois to Ohio, 10 cold-climate schools are somewhere around 35 games into their schedules.

Wow, 35 games into their schedules already? How many of those have been home games? (No, I'm not going to take the time to look that up.) Oh, and by the way: We're supposed to get snow tonight. Spring fever! Catch it!

The longer this state's flagship university goes without the world's greatest game, the less inclined anyone becomes to end this embarrassment. The passage of time has caused the idea of UW baseball to become something less than an afterthought, as in why bother after all these years, it's impractical in Wisconsin weather, it's too expensive, especially now, there's no facility, you'd have to add a women's sport and blah, blah, waaaah.

Did you just reduce all of these completely legitimate, overwhelmingly valid reasons to not reinstate the program to "blah, blah, waaaah"? Wow. Your third grade teacher is not going to be impressed with your rhetorical skills, little Mikey Hunt. You really need to do more than blow raspberries at people when they make a strong argument.

So, as of today, I'm putting everyone from athletic director Barry Alvarez to Bud Selig, the world's most powerful baseball man who also happens to be a Wisconsin grad, on notice. And the alumni and the donors and the Brewers, too. You've got three years - OK, five max - to have baseball back up and running in Madison.

HEAR THAT, BITCHES?!?!? THAT WAS MIKEHUNT PUTTING ALL Y'ALL ON NOTICE! Fuck, I would not want to be in your shoes right now! You just got served, bitch!

Also -- I love that MikeHunt is a benevolent dictator: immediately after saying that we've got three years to get this shit up and running, he backs off and says: "OK, fine, you've got five." Thank you for taking mercy on us, MikeHunt. You are wise and generous. Praise be to you. [Kisses ring].

Say this is not a good time to add a sport? For one thing, it's baseball.

Remember this line last week? "Practicalities aside, it's baseball." Yeah, for those of you concerned that MikeHunt might actually try to develop his argument in the time between that blog post and this column, you can relax. He's still just saying the name of the sport over and over again.

Seriously, that's it. That's his entire argument.

No, really -- he's done. That's it. I have nothing else to deconstruct. Well, except for this:

Because here's the bottom line on bringing it back: Where the revered phrases "baseball" and the "University of Wisconsin" are concerned, the cynic's point of view should not apply. You know, the person who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

First of all, "baseball" is not a phrase, it's one fucking word.

More importantly: if the "cynic's point of view should not apply" in this debate, neither should the idiot's. You know, the person who disregards the cost of everything and submits, as his argument in favor of reinstating a sport that no one seems to give a damn about, one word: "baseball."

1 comment:

Devil's Threesome said...

Still no posts on Todd Welter's blog. I wonder if we scared him back into his hole?