Friday, April 17, 2009

A Sandwich Is a Sandwich, But a Mandarich Is a Bust

The Worldwide Leader's internet portal has a nice little story that pours salt onto an old wound. Mind, the wound is pretty old and has mostly healed over by this point, but enough granules still get through to cause a little bit of a sting.

Everybody here is familiar with the story, as well as the list of players that the Packers missed out on by drafting this S.O.B. What interests me more are some of the fantastic photos included in ESPN's story:

Anybody who says they had this cover hanging on their wall because it was "inspirational" or "rad" was full of shit. It was a signal.

Sweet Sassy Molassy, how was it not PLAINLY obvious what this dude was doing? I understand that many people were probably willing to ignore those pesky ethics in order to benefit from him, but, DAMN. At least we should have strapped an AK onto this guy and let him single handledly take care of the Persian Gulf War for us.

In fact, this is quite possibly the most homo-erotic picture I've ever seen on a magazine cover. If this magazine was sitting on my coffee table, I think I'd be afraid to open it, lest a giant centerfold fall out with a lot less left to the imagination.

Senior portrait day? The Thinker? Motivational speaker? Which direction is this photo going? I can appreciate a good black-and-white photo as much as the next guy, but a part of me really wishes this was in color, if only so I could be sure if those are flaming dragons or something out of the Bill Cosby collection.

Seriously, what are his intentions? What should I, as the magazine reader, be feeling here? Is this just going to be a harmless bit of show-and-tell, or is this going to be a full service oil change? A little warning would be nice - this might have an effect on the rest of my day.

Damn, Barry Sanders would have been nice.


EMoney said...

Goose - is this your first post ever?

You suck at golf!

Maple is a horror.

Moongoose McQueen said...

...A horror?

EMoney said...

I'm trying to keep this web site PG goose.

Moongoose McQueen said...

Fuck that shit. Maple is a whore, plain and simple.