This will be the Summer of Rickie Weeks -- provided, of course, that he can keep his on-base percentage at .800 and his slugging at 1.000. Based on the results of the first game, neither task should be a problem.
Jeff Suppan will lose 20 games this year, and will join Rafael Roque, Steve Woodard, and Ben McDonald as the Worst Pitchers to Start an Opening Day Game for the Crew.
(But seriously: can we put this asshole out to stud, so he can sire a new generation of shitty "pitch to contact" pitchers who sport 1.5+ WHIPs and get paid $12 million per year? Goddammitalltohell, I hate Jeff Suppan.)
(And another thing: I just came up with a test that I want Doug Melvin to apply before signing a big-money free agent pitcher. I want you to ponder this, Doug: think about all the teams someone like Jeff Suppan has played for. Pirates, Cardinals, Red Sox, right? Lots of teams. Lots of fans. Has any fan of any of those teams ever looked at the pitching match-up for a night where Suppan was scheduled to pitch and said: "Kick ass! We've got Suppan going tonight!"? No. No. Clearly, the answer is no. No one is excited to have Jeff Suppan pitching for their team; the most enthusiastic reaction you could possibly hear is: "Eh. I guess it's better than Jamey Wright." If that's the case, please do not sign that pitcher to a $48 million contract. Thank you.)
I was wrong: apparently, all Mike Cameron needed to do to was listen to all those people telling him to stop striking out. It seems he'd never heard that before, but it clearly worked, as he's on pace to strike out zero (0) times this year. So thank you, enlightened Brewers fans. Thank you, talking heads at WSSP. Thank you, Todd Welter. You taught an old dog a new trick.
Seth McClung, aka MC Lung, aka the Red Menace, aka the Would-Be Closer WHO CAN'T STOP WALKING PEOPLE, won't have a job by June. (Actually ... that one might not be far off ...)
We're playing Sveumball, baby! Thanks to Dale's influence, the Brewers should draw around eight walks per contest and chase the opposing pitcher from the game by the third inning.
(That said, maybe Timmy Lincecum left after three innings because he was worried that Pink and Benny and O'Bannion would be waiting for him outside when the game got done: