Brew Crew Ball says that Our Lord and Saviour, Tony Gwynn, Jr. -- he of the career OBP of .300, with matching career slugging of .300 -- has been traded to the Padres for Jody Gerut.
Slow clap, everyone. Slow clap. Without our constant bitching, this trade might never have happened.
Enjoy your new outfielder, Pads fans. You'll love him when he's not refusing to take walks or striking out at an alarming rate for an allegedly prototypical lead-off hitter. Which is to say: you won't love him very often.