Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A Trip Out Of State Really Gives You A Better Perspective On Your Team.

Especially when that trip involves heading to Mud-duck Land, where the struggling Twins had lost three in a row and five of six heading into a weekend series with the Mariners. (We'll consider this post a public service announcement for Kirby, the biggest Twins fan I know, and Gunt, the biggest Twins hater I know.)

The Twins managed to hover around .500 while The Sideburned One recovered from a bizarre back/kidney injury that sidelined him for the first 25 games of the season. And Mauer's been on a tear since he came back, putting up a ridiculous .485/.553/.848 line in nine games thus far. (Mrs. Q is also happy to report that young Joe remains as hot as ever, but she is somewhat concerned that his tush appears bigger.)

Mauer's return was a needed shot in the arm for a team that was scuffling offensively over the first 25 games. Morneau's hitting, as per usual, and Denard Span continues to play (somewhat surprisingly) solid ball, and, as D3 said last week, Jason Kubel looks like a stone-cold lock for the next Twin That Brewers Fans Will Love To Hate, but the rest of the hitters stink out loud. Alexi Casilla is slugging a robust .202 (for a mind-bogglingly OPS+ of 19), and Douchetard Supreme Nick Punto isn't far off that pace, slugging .232 with an OPS+ of 53. Carlos Gomez has continued his second-half death spiral, and Delmon Young has put up a tasty 21 K to 4 BB ratio in 24 games.

The real concern, though -- and stop me if you're heard this one before -- is the pitching. Liriano, Kevin Slowey, and Scotty Baker are all sporting ERAs north of 5.5, and each is allowing a staggering amount of home runs (Baker with a particularly astonishing eight homers allowed in 5 starts). And outside of Joe Nathan, Jesse Crain, and Matt Guerrier, the bullpen consists of a bunch of guys no one's ever heard of, including a dude named Philip Humber, who, I believe, was the main character in Lolita.

From all appearances, it's going to be one of those maddening, never-a-game-or-two-above-or-below-.500 season for the Twins (which, of course, means that the fuckers will rip off a 12 game winning streak as soon as I post this).

All of this provides a better perspective for a Brewers fan, especially one (like me) who's prone to focus on the negative (Manny Parra, J.J.'s struggles at the plate, Manny Parra, Jeff Suppan's continued mediocrity, Manny Parra MANNY PARRA MANNY PARRA) and to ignore the positive (Cam's strong start, Bill Hall looking like he's got half-a-clue out there, The Summer of Rickie Weeks, Brauny getting on base at a .450+ clip). We ain't got it half-bad here.

In sum: things may work out for the Crew, or they may not, but at least we don't have to watch games in that shithole of a Dome.

1 comment:

Devil's Threesome said...

Holy Humbert Humbert reference! Nice one Rubie!