Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Gospel Of Tony Gwynn, Jr. Has A New Preacher.

He's ESPN The Magazine writer Tom Friend, who's written the puffiest of puff pieces about Papa Gwynn and his precocious son, Ant'ny. I'll spare you the lion's share of the verbal fellating; I want to focus on the parts that make the Brewers organization look like it's run by a bunch of cartoon villains who were willing to do everything in their power to make sure Li'l Tony didn't get his much deserved shot in The Show.

To give you some context: this first line comes after an extended discussion of the game in September 2007 where TGJ, in the highest of ironies, tripled off of Padres great Trevor Hoffman (who Jr. apparently calls "Uncle Trevor") to steal a win and keep the Pads out of the play-offs and blah blah snorrrrrrre:

How did the Brewers repay Little T in 2008? They tried to replace him.

What a bunch of cold, heartless fucks, trying to replace the guy who helped the Brewers go 83-79 instead of 82-80. Can these men not see value? That's a whole extra win, right there.

First, they signed Mike Cameron, even though Cameron had to serve a 30-day suspension to start the season. And when Little T went down with a hamstring injury (after beginning the season 4-for-7),

Yes, friends, your eyes don't deceive you – that's a sample size of SEVEN AT-BATS cited as proof that TGJ was off to a good start in '08. I also enjoyed the part where Tom Friend (he's another dude whose full name must be used at all times, I've decided) glossed over the fact that the guy couldn't even stay healthy for five fucking games at the start of the year; nothing like taking advantage of your (allegedly) long-overdue opportunity by blowing out a wheel in the first series of the year. Carpe diem, indeed.

they fell in love with another center fielder, Gabe Kapler. The timing couldn't have been worse.

… except for the Brewers, who went 8-12 in April and May with Gwynn (when he wasn't on the DL), and promptly ran off a 58-30 stretch between the time TGJ got sent down (May 23) and got called back up (September 1).

Little T had finally mastered the art of hitting the ball where it was pitched -- the core belief of his dad. He'd keep his hands back. If they pitched him inside, he'd pull it; if they pitched him away, he'd aim for the 5.5 hole. It was simple. But then, it wasn't.

It wasn't simple largely because TGJ can't fucking do it. Sure, I've seen him try to pull in his hands and pull the inside pitch, and try to take the low-and-away pitch the other way, but it seemed like, eight times out of ten, the end result was the same: TGJ rolled over the pitch and tapped out meekly to the second baseman.

When he returned from the injury, with Cameron and Kapler hitting for power, Little T sensed the Brewers preferred players with pop in their bats.

Stupid Brewers wanting guys who hit stupid doubles and stupid home runs and draw stupid walks. I blame stupid fat Bill James for this. (Also: as a factual matter, Tom Friend is wrong when he says that "Cameron and Kapler [were] hitting for power" when Eensy Weensy Tony came back from his busted hammy. Jr. came off the DL on April 23. Cam's 25-game (not 30-day, as Tom Friend called it earlier) suspension didn't end until April 29, when he made his debut against the Cubs.)

His strength was putting the ball in play on offense and running everything down on defense. He could steal bases. He was perfect for, say, cavernous Petco Park, but maybe not compact Miller Park. He felt an inherent pressure to do more, to hit more doubles, more gappers. And even though he had zero career home runs, he felt going deep once or twice wouldn't hurt, either.

Let's play the fortune cookie game with these first couple sentences, OK? But instead of ending every phrase/sentence with "in bed," let's use: "but he had a bum leg."

His strength was putting the ball in play on offense and running everything down on defense, but he had a bum leg. He could steal bases, but he had a bum leg. He was perfect for, say, cavernous Petco Park, but he had a bum leg.

That was tons of fun. Now let's look closer at this: His strength was putting the ball in play on offense argument. I guess that's half-true, since TGJ has always been allergic to walks (just because I can't throw this out there enough: career OBP with the Brewers: .300). But he also strikes out quite a bit, and he can't bunt all that well, and he's got all of 18 infield hits in his career. I mean, he's not exactly Ichiro out there.

But all that did was play with his mind, and his fundamentals. He couldn't keep his hands back. He was given only 49 big league plate appearances the entire year, batting a career low .190, and spent most of the season (93 games) in Triple-A Nashville.

Come on, Tom Friend – finish the sentence: "where he did nothing to show that he deserved another shot at the majors, putting up slash stats of .278/.328/.331 while hitting only 8 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 homer."

It's really not worth it to go through the rest of the column. As you'd probably expect, the fact that TGJ has cooled off considerably since his fast start – following a two-hit game against the A's on June 20, he's gone .188/.206/.281, with one extra base hit and one walk – gets buried at the end of the piece amongst some preposterous jibber-jabber about how Jr.'s timing got thrown off after he hit a home run.

Listen: I don't have anything against Tony Gwynn, Jr. My problem was the large contingent of slapnuts who thought the guy was the Second Coming, and would give TGJ a standing ovation right before he grounded into a double play. That said: this shit – and by "this shit," I, of course, mean articles like Tom Friend's – has got to stop. He's not a good baseball player, and no amount of ESPN puff pieces is going to change that.

Free Billy Hall with Suppan Purchase!

I'm not sure how long this will be up but a disgruntled Brewers fan has kindly made the services of Jeff Suppan available on ebay.

I think my favorite selling point is "Durable - Would love to pitch all Nine Innings regardless of the outcome."


Let's Do The 'Half Baked' Recap Of Last Night's Game:



Oh wait -- nevermind.

You're cool.

(just because -- and yes, I know he had 2 hits and 2 driven in last night).

And I'm out.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Breaking News: Luke Ridnour Is A Bum-Ass N*****.

At least, so says Brandon Jennings' pal Joe Budden (who? Her?), in this remarkable conversation (via Deadspin).

Yes, Bucks fans, that's your self-proclaimed starting point guard -- playing GM (we're resigning Chuck V, letting Sessions walk), deciding on the line-up (Ridnour will be backing up Bra-Jen at point), even playing fashionista (he was, in his humble opinion, the best-dressed player at the draft -- when he finally managed to show up).

You know, I may have spoken too soon last week -- the Brandon Jennings Experience promises to be such a magnificent clusterfuck, I may have no choice but to watch.

MannyLine Update:

For those who don't remember the bet, we set the over/under at Manny making 3.5 starts for the Brewers for the rest of the year.

Manny's Sunday line (via Brew Crew Ball):

4.2 innings pitched, 6 runs, 5 earnies, 5 hits and 5 walks (for another tidy WHIP over 2.0), 5 strikeouts.

And, just in case you forgot:

Rubie took the under.

SBTG took the under.

Reid took the over.

D3s took the over.

FPMKE took the over.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Billy Mays completes "Dead Celebrity Trifecta"

In a week marked by the mourning of Charlie's favorite Angel, Farrah Fawcett, and the passing of self-proclaimed King of Pop and suspected pederast, Michael Jackson, we now have suffered the death of famed infomercial pitchman Billy Mays.

OxiClean, Kaboom, ESPN 360, among others... the world will not be same without those famous words "Billy Mays here!"

R.I.P. Billy.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Bucks disappoint once again

Well, to nobody's surprise the Bucks have disappointed me again. Jennings may prove me wrong, and I hope he does, but I think our track record in judging talent has proven to be better than any Bucks GM over the past 2 decades. That being said, I'm sticking to my guns and predicting that this pick does nothing for us. In a few words - You've chosen....Poorly".

Just read some scouts reviews and I found the perfect way to sum up what could have been a longer post:

"I'm not sure how you take a kid without a real body of work that high," one NBA GM in Treviso said. "I know this is a weak draft, but are we really taking kids who have struggled to produce in college or Europe in the lottery? I'm all for upside, but it's ridiculous. If Jennings can't get on the floor in Italy, how does he help my team in the next couple of years? How do you take him over some really talented college kids who have proven they can play? Jonny Flynn, Ty Lawson, Steph Curry. Those guys are talented too and they have track records." Click here for the full story on Jennings

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Hopefully some redemption will be made in the 2nd round.

Acker Done...

I noticed he wasn't at the BBQ last night when Buzz introduced the returning players. Let's hope Cadugan is ready to go next year.


$-Any PG's looking for a college out there?

Final Draft Predictions

Draft day is finally upon us! Will the Milwaukee Bucks management team finally make a smart pick and turn their franchise around and in the right direction, or will they continue to chase the LA Clippers for the most god-awful run franchise in the NBA by swinging and missing on their lottery pick once again? Only time will tell.....check that.....we might very well know tomorrow whether they managed to pull off another blunder. Ahem-Earl-Clark-Cough!

Due to their recent dealing of Richard Jefferson to San Antonio, the team's immediate needs have shifted making our #10 pick even more wide open at this point. Milwaukee acquired more depth at the PF position and freed up a ton of cap space to possibly resign Charlie Villanueva and/or Ramon Sessions, however, they made the SF position an area of concern now. Last year's lottery selection, Joe Alexander, likely isn't ready to be an every day starter right now so there have been talks of trying to convince Ersan Ilyasova (who just turned 16 years old) to take a pay cut, leave the Euro-league, and play in the NBA. Whether or not this is going to happen is yet to be determined. That being said, what in the hell are the Bucks going to do this evening? I think that PG is still #1 on our list, but Hammond claims that they are going to select the best player available. So considering the complete unpredictability of this year's draft, what if Rubio, Flynn, Holiday, Evans, Curry, and Hill are all gone by the time the Bucks are on the clock? Do they select the best PG available, ie. Brandon Jennings, Jeff Teague, or Ty Lawson? Do they possibly select a SF, ie. Terrence Williams (who apparently is climbing the boards of late) or Demar Derozan? Or do they trade down?

I foresee Flynn and/or Holliday being available at #10. That being said, I would prefer Flynn but Jrue Holliday is a big PG (6'4") and is gaining a reputation as a lock down defender....something that I think both Skiles and Hammonds value immensely. It should be an interesting evening regardless and I pray that I don't put the remote through my TV when David Stern announces the Bucks selection (or trade).

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It's Been A Long Week Already...

... and it's only Wednesday. Plus, it's hotter than hell out there, which tends to make people -- OK, me -- cranky. So, whaddya say we let off some steam by looking at the Llama's latest tub o' shit?

Going through some of the game notes courtesy of the Brewers media relations, I have found some eyesore stats about the Crew this year...

-The Brewers are 14-20 when the opponent scores first.
-The Crew are 9-21 with they are out-hit by the opposition.

Ah, good. Numbers. I love talkin' numbers in sports -- probably not as much as my wayward pal Moongoose loves midget frottage pr0n, but I love it, nonetheless. But here's the thing: when you're talkin' numbers in sports, you've gotta give those numbers some context, or else they're just ... numbers -- meaningless little 3's & 7's.

Here's a good example:

The Brewers are not exactly the comeback kids either...

-When trailing after seven innings, the Brewers are 4-28. The Brewers are not much of a ninth-inning comeback team either. The Crew is 3-30 when trailing after eight innings.

Ripped from any context whatsoever, those numbers look like shit. But consider:

The untucked-shirt-hatin' St. Louis Cardinals -- the first place team in the division -- are 1-26 when trailing after seven innings. And they're 0-28 when they're trailing after eight.

The third-place, supremely-douchetastic Cubs -- currently nipping at the Brewers' heels in the standings -- are 4-26 when trailing after seven. They're 2-26 when trailing after eight.

How 'bout the fourth-place Reds, you say? They're 1-30 when trailing after seven, and 1-31 when trailing after the eighth inning.

And, since nobody gives a flying poop about the 'Stros or Pirates, let's toss out the numbers for the juggernaut out West, the L.A. Dodgers: 4-17 when trailing after seven innings, and 2-23 when trailing after eight.

The Brewers are 8-15 when they do not hit a home run.

The obligatory small ball lover's stat. I have said it before, and I will say it again: the only thing a stat like this tells you is that hitting home runs is a good thing and helps your team win baseball games.

In 70 games (37-33 overall record), the Brewers have just 19 come-from-behind wins.


Cardinals: 11 come-from-behind wins (in 40 wins total).

Cubs: 15 come-from-behind wins (in 34 wins total).

Reds: 13 come-from-behind wins (in 34 wins total).

Dodgers: 21 come-from-behind wins (in 47 wins total).

The Brewers have only blown 18 leads so it is not like they are giving games away in their 33 losses.

Blown leads:

Cards: 11.

Cubs: 12.

Reds: 11.

Dodgers: 13.

In sum: every stat that the Llama thinks is remarkably bad is remarkably average (if not impressive -- the 19 come-from-behind wins are very good), while the stat that the Llama thinks is remarkably good is actually pretty bad. As per usual, up is down, black is white, and a shit sandwich is Gummy Bears for Toddles.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Buzz's BBQ...

anyone going to buzz's bbq tomorrow? the wife and i are and I'm just checking to see if anyone else is. it was a pretty good time last year.

Bucks Trade Jefferson...

The pre-draft deals have once again includes the Milwaukee Bucks. Bucks trade Richard Jefferson for Bruce Bowen, Kurt Thomas, and Fabricio Oberto.

Spurs will now win the NBA championship and the Bucks will release Bowen and Oberto for financial reasons to save $6 million next year, not to mention the $15 million from Jefferson.

Perhaps that means we'll sign Chucky V or Ramon Sessions. If we draft Flynn sign Chucky V, if we get Jordan Hill, sign Sessions.

Thoughts on trade?

Monday, June 22, 2009

Bucks Draft...

POSTED: June 21 -- 8:27 a.m. ET

Chad Ford: The Bucks look like they're sitting pretty good at No. 10. One of the point guards that they like -- whether it's Jonny Flynn, Jrue Holiday, Jeff Teague or Brandon Jennings -- should be there when they draft. In fact, it's possible all of them will be there.

With that in mind, the Bucks are bringing back Flynn, Jennings, Lawson and Teague early next week for another big workout.

I think Milwaukee's board looks like this right now going into that workout:

1. Jordan Hill
2. Holiday
3. Flynn
4. Teague
5. Jennings
6. Lawson

Holiday won't be in the workout, but maybe he doesn't need to be at this point. The other four rankings could change based on what happens on Monday.

I agree with that analysis and bet we get #3.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Colin Cowherd Has Looked Into The Souls Of Packers' Fans ...

... and Colin Cowherd sees fear.

I wish I could find a link to a full replay of today's episode of "The Herd," but, sadly, all I can seem to turn up is a link to Colin talking to Mike Irvin (presumably about hookers and blow. I didn't bother to listen, but I feel I can safely presume that those were the subjects of conversation).

So, you're going to have to take my word for it: coming back from a commercial break, Co-Co said he was getting emails from Packers' fans who were claiming that they weren't concerned about Favre coming back for the Vikings, since Favre is old n' busted and, to put it succinctly, not a difference maker anymore. Most of these emailers felt that, if he were to strap on the Viking horns, Favre would ultimately do more harm than good to the Minnesota franchise.

(On a related note: good job by you, Packer fans who emailed Colin Cowherd regarding your lack-of-trepidation at the possibility of Brett Favre playing quarterback for the 'Queens! If I cared to look up Colin Cowherd's email address, those are the exact same points I would have made. Maybe my calculation that half of the people in this state are mouth-breathing Favre apologists was off.)


Colin says (and I'm paraphrasing, of course) that Packer fans are full of shit, and that we're terrified at the prospect of Favre playing for the Vikings because we know, in our heart of hearts, that Favre, even approaching age 40, is still a top-flight quarterback.

Co-Co's reasoning?

Very simple: in 2007, Favre's last year with the Pack, the team went 13-3 and was "a field goal in overtime away from the Super Bowl." (He repeated this last part, like, eight times. Apparently, Colin felt this particular piece of his argument was devastating.) Last year, the Packers, without Favre, went 6-10, and the Jets, with Favre, started 8-3, "before his arm fell off and the Jets finished out of the playoffs."

That's it. That's the entire argument.

(OK, there was a bit more: there was also an especially bizarre snippet where Colin, after repeating the records of the 2007 Packers and 2008 Jets about three more times, said he "didn't want to go all stat nerd" on his audience. This piece was especially bizarre, primarily, because Colin didn't cite any statistics whatso-fucking-ever during the entirety of his argument.)

From Colin's argument, I can, without hesitation, make the following conclusions:

(1) He didn't watch a single play of the Packers' 2007 season, because, if he had, he'd have seen that the 13-3 record was, in large part, the result of the Packers getting every break imaginable during the regular season, and that the reason the Pack ended the season "a field goal in overtime away from the Super Bowl" was that Favre got thoroughly (almost embarrassingly) outplayed by Eli Manning in a home game. (Oh, and he also threw the interception that set the stage for the game-winning score. There's that part, too.)

(2) He didn't watch a single play of the Packers' 2008 season, because, if he had, he'd have seen that the 6-10 record was largely the responsibility of the defense. And also: not to go all "stat nerd," but fuck the heck: Aaron Rodgers, in his first season as a starter -- 63.6% completion percentage, 28 touchdowns, 13 interceptions, 93.8 passer rating, plus 4 rushing touchdowns. That doesn't exactly add up to the quarterback being a cause of the team's problems.

(3) He didn't watch a single play of the last five games of the Jets' 2008 season, because, if he had, he'd have seen that the Jets' 1-4 collapse down the stretch is largely the responsibility of Brett Lorenzo Lamas Favre: 56% completion percentage, 2 touchdowns, 9 picks, including a three-interception stinkbomb in the regular season finale.

But, by all means, Colin, keep bringing this weak sauce. It's going to make it that much more enjoyable when the 'Queens are sitting at 7-7 in Week 15, and Adrian Peterson is bitching that he's not getting enough touches, and Bobby Wade is in traction because Ol' No. 4 threw a ball 15 yards over Wade's head and got him laid out, and Minnesota fans are begging for Sage Rosenfels to be put into the game.

WTF is wrong with Trevor Hoffman?!

I don't know. Razzing JJ and Billy Brew seemed to work so I figured I would help the old fella get back on track after that blown save.

I really don't think anything is wrong with him beyond inheriting a load of crap from McDouche.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

In Honor Of Manny's First Start At Nashville:

Let's set some sweet action on the number of starts Manny makes for the Crew the rest of the year.

The number is 3.5.

Over or under?

I'm under.

A Quick 'SSP Tomfoolery Story.

I was driving back from court yesterday and happened to catch the beginning of "The Big Show" on 'SSP. The topic (for some reason) was the NBA draft, and who the Bucks might take in the first round.

Sparky says (I'm paraphrasing): I wouldn't mind seeing the Bucks trade down, perhaps with the T-Wolves, to get two late first-round picks (or a late first and an earlier second). The Bucks might be able to snag a Ty Lawson and a James Johnson (who Sparky mistakenly identified as having played for Georgia Tech; right conference, wrong school), Sparky figures.

Not more than 15 seconds later, Capt. Closed Head Injury says: "Hey, Sparky: there are a lot of teams that want to move up in the lottery [which is patently false, by the way. I don't hear about many teams wanting to move into the 5-10 range, since it's all a crapshoot after Griffin and Rubio. But what the fuck do I know? Unlike Swollen Tongue, I actually, you know, read stuff about sports every now and again]. Would you be upset if the Bucks, say, traded down and got a couple of picks late in the first round?"

Sparky, clearly exasperated, and after a lengthy pause: "Yeah, Gary. I'd be OK with that."


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

What To Do With Gamel?

That's been the hot topic on the radio shows lately. Once the interleague is done and the Brewers don't need the DH anymore, what should they do with Gamel? I'll tell you what I think they should do: Keep him here and play him everyday, because Billy Hall is completely worthless at this point. (See what I did there? You thought this was a Gamel take, but oh no, it's an anti-Bill Hall rant. Gotta keep you guys on your toes.)

Watching him flail away at the plate, time after time this season, is driving me completely fucking mental. He is an absolute black hole and he is showing no signs of turning that around. Sure the Brewers have other guys that are scuffling, but at least they show signs of life every now and then. Not only that, but you can look at past performances and see a track record that indicates they have the ability to turn things around for themselves. Bill Hall? Not so much. Oh there's 2006, but if it's not obvious that that was the exception not the rule by now then you're not watching the same games I am. In 2007 and 2008 Hall had an average of .240, with 29 homers, and an on-base of .299!! And that's playing against lefties almost exclusively, which he allegedly hits well! (Those eye-popping numbers don't even factor in his wicked .208 avg and .276 OBP so far this season) He's not even a serviceable platoon player at this point. Things have gotten so bad for Hall that he's posing and styling after hitting weak fly balls. Did you see him tonight, he totally styled off a weak fly ball to center and a sac fly to right like he had just blasted 'em into the Cuyahoga. It's been that long since he's hit a ball even remotely hard to the outfield that he actually thought he got those balls! Sorry Billy, that one's not gonna have the distance.

If they insist on having him on the team, and trotting him out there to "try and get him going" (and in all honesty that is what's going to continue to happen, despite the better judgement of everyone), then I suggest Dale Sveum sit him down, look him in the face and break it down like this: "Look Bill, I don't want you to try to hit another homerun as long as your on this team. When you were 'good' you were a line drive hitter that sprayed the ball all over the field, and some of them just happened to leave the yard. No more coddling, no more trying to find your chi or any of this other bullshit. The next time you try and jerk the ball out of the park, leave your shoes at an 0-2 slider or pose off some warning track fly ball, I'm gonna kick you in the fucking head. Capiche!"

So Mat, get comfy son. Settle in over there at 3rd and try not to throw too many into the dugout. Cuz that job is yours kid. Lefty starter, righty starter, I don't much care, because it's painfully obvious that Bill Hall can't hit either of them.

Sosa tested positive in 2003

Steroids, not eating better/more (because he could afford a dentist) was the cause of the weight gain....

Enjoy hiding in the DR for the rest of your informal retirement bitch!

Where's The Love For Prince?

Remember the big to-do this preseason about trading Prince for pitching? (If you don't, don't worry; I'm sure MikeHunt will write about it for the 43rd time in the next week.) The thinking -- if you can call anything that MikeHunt does "thinking" -- seemed to be that Prince wasn't capable of duplicating his marvelous 2007 season, that, of the everyday players, he was the most readily replaceable piece, that his defense was going to become more and more of a problem as time went on.

We're now a little more than a third of the way through the year, and I think it can be safely said that this team would be in major, major shit without Prince. In case you haven't noticed, the Big Dog has been chowin' down this year. Take a look at the stats through 64 games for the last three seasons:

This year:
.295 / .421 / .589, 16 homers, 62 driven in.

Through 64 games last season: .274 / .363 / .453, 10 homers, 33 driven in.

Through 64 games in 2007:
.295 / .378 / .643 (Lord A'mighty!), 23 homers, 51 driven in.

Sure, the homers are down a bit from '07, but, in all other respects, dude's quietly having as good -- if not better -- a campaign in '09.

So why aren't we talking about this more? It's not solely because of Braun, is it? I think Rickie's hot start stole the spotlight (until he got hurt, of course), and the struggles of J.J. and Jon Hart and Manny Parra have hogged a lot of attention, too. But, in my humble (and largely worthless) opinion, this team doesn't get within shouting distance of 35-29 -- especially trotting out a starting rotation of Suppan, Looper, Parra, and Bush (who, by the by, is the person least happy with Mental Manny's demotion, since Parra's stinkbomb was covering up the fact that Bush, by and large, has been atrocious for the last month) -- without the Big Fella.

Still: we should probably look into trading him straight-up for Matt Cain.

Monday, June 15, 2009

It's Time For The Annual...

"What the Fuck is Wrong With J.J. Hardy?" post.

Last year, 'round this time, I wrote this about James Jerry:

"JJ Hardy has regressed to the mean.

"Yeah, .251 / .324 / .370 with 5 homers seems about right, doesn't it? At least his defense is still top notch."

This year, following a putrid 0-28 stretch over the last seven games, J.J.'s sitting at .207 / .290 / .325, with 5 homers and 25 driven in.

I'm going to be honest -- wait, strike that. I hate people who preface statements with "I'm going to be honest..." or "I'm not going to lie to you..." If I ask you a question, and you start your response with: "Hey, Rubie, I'm not going to lie to you ...", doesn't that mean that you usually would lie to me? Or, that if you don't preface a statement with "I'm going to be honest," it means you're fucking lying to me?

Here, lemme show you:

Rubie to Hypothetical Person: "Hey, man, what you do think of my Dodge Stratus?"

Hypothetical Person: "Oh, it's fucking great, Rubie."

A Now-Agitated Rubie: "I'm going to punch you in the dick, you fucking cockhammer. Why did you lie right to my face?"

Hypothetical Person: "Whatever do you mean, Rubie? What have I done to offend you thusly?"

Rubie: "You didn't say 'I'm not going to lie to you,' and, if you're not going to lie to me, you typically announce, at the beginning of your statement, that you're not going to lie to me. You didn't tell me that you weren't going to lie to me, so, using my Lawyer Powers, I have systematically deduced that you are, in fact, lying to me. Hence, the dick punch."

See what I mean? (Please note that you should not feel bad at all if you don't see what I mean. I'm probably insane. And by "probably," I mean: I am insane.)


I can't work up the lather for a good J.J. Hardy bashing. Maybe it's the kinder, gentler Rubie who is trying not to live and die with every Brewer game (with mixed results), maybe it's the fact that my bald spot(s) are ridiculously sunburned and making thinking a tremendous chore today ... or maybe it's the fact that, immediately after I posted that thought about J.J. last year, he went on a 10-game tear where he raised his batting average 35 points while clubbing 7 homers.

Maybe it's just me. Am I alone here? Are people worried about J.J.?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Well, That Sucked.

What the fuck was that all about? How in the hell do you get swept at home by a team that trots out Aaron Cook, George of the Rose, and Jason Hammel (who?) in a three-game series?

And that line-up ain't exactly the '27 Yankees, either. A well-over-the-hill Todd Helton, cockbag Troy Tulowitzki, and Big Buck Hunter Clint Barmes? That's not going to keep a pitching coach awake at night.

At least we've got Soup on the bump tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I Know This Will Be Construed As Criticism...

...but it's really just a question.

Can someone explain to me why Bill Hall was inserted as part of a double-switch when Coffey had just given up the go-ahead run?

I understand that the Rockies had a bunch of lefties coming up, and K-Mach wanted to keep Stetter in the game through the eighth inning. Which is fine and all, except for these issues:

(1) We were no longer protecting a lead, so putting in Hall for defensive purposes doesn't make a lot of sense.

(2) Double-switching with Hall gave us a seventh inning line-up of: Hart, Kendall, Hall. If ever a batting order had "three up, three down" written all over it, it's that one.

(3) Compounding that last problem: putting in Hall for Gamel took our only other left-handed bat out of the line-up. Knowing that Gerut or Catalanotto wouldn't be hitting the seventh, the Rockies didn't have to think twice about putting in that sidearming son of bitch and letting him work the whole frame.

(4) Our last hope in the bottom of the ninth became Frank Catalanotto instead of Gamel. I know the kid probably wouldn't have done anything, but, trailing by one and down to our last out, I'd rather see Gamel than the Catman.

Maybe I'm wrong -- and, if I am, I'm sure the rest of y'all will tell me -- but, to me, that extra inning of Stetter doesn't outweigh these other problems.

(And, finally: no, SBTG and Va Jay Jay, I am not calling for Macha's head. I just didn't understand this particular move.)

Draft Talk

MLB Draft that is...

Ok, so I know it doesn't have near the juice that its NBA and NFL counterparts have, but it's still kind of interesting. Especially when your team is built almost entirely on players that they actually drafted, and will have to continue doing so to remain competitive going forward. It makes it even more interesting when there is actual coverage of the event, which there is this year thanks to God's gift to TV, MLB Network.

So whether the Brewers select someone that they hope will fast track to the big leagues, or will become ammo for some future deal (Cliff Lee? Really? I dunno how much I'd be willing to part with to get a guy that got sent to Triple A 2 years ago.) I'm intrigued to see who they take, and how that player may project to fit into this team's future plans. I don't know if it'll be available at 26, but a big college bat might be my preference given that we stand to lose Prince and Hart in the not so distant future.

Parra and such

All right Buffet......with all of the recent chatter regarding Manny Parra, Tom Glavine, Corey Hart, etc., along with the fast approaching trade deadline, how does everyone foresee this roster shaking out over the next month? Similar to 1 year ago, and shockingly enough to many Wahoo Crazies out there, this team is in contention for a playoff birth and possibly looking to make a few moves to make a serious run. The Brewers are in dire need of another legitimate starter in their rotation, and the recent rumor mills include the likes of Cliff Lee, Jake Peavy, and Erik Bedard as possible trade candidates within the league. On the other hand, this team has been lacking offensive production from both 3rd base and right field......positions that typically produce offensive contributors. Is this an area that Doug Melvin will address before the trade deadline? Word on the street is that Matt Holliday is being thrown around as trade bait. Matt Holliday or Corey Hart??? Hmmmm.

In my opinion, I would like to see Melvin get aggressive in the trade market again this year. However, if this requires trading a top prospect or 2, I expect that whomever we receive is in Brewer uniform for at least 3 years. Since MLB has a bit of an uneven playing field monetarily, I think that this organization needs to strike while the iron is hot. Our 3-5 hitters of Braun, Fielder, and Cameron have been playing outstanding and who knows how long Cameron and Fielder will be around. In a perfect scenario, I would want to add an additional starter and either a third baseman or right fielder. Who knows what it would take, but swinging a deal with Cleveland to acquire C.Lee and Mark de Rosa would be ideal. That would give Milwaukee an outstanding starter for the next few years and a solid third baseman that can both produce offensively and defend his position consistently.


PS. I wouldn't be opposed to giving Oakland Corey Hart for Matt Holliday straight up. So if one of you could pass this along to Gary Ellerson I would appreciate it.


An Oldy, But A Goodie.

Heard this yesterday on 'SSP while driving to Port Washington (to answer your question: no, sadly, I was not attending a Step By Step reunion). I'm sure you've all seen it/heard it before, but, since Cubs fans remain the most breathtaking dushbags in the history of sports, it bears repeating -- this is Reds announcer Marty Brennaman reacting to Cubs fans throwing balls onto the field during an April 2008 game:
This is the kind of thing, quite honestly, right now, that makes you want to see this Chicago Cubs team lose. Among all baseball fans -- and I can't attest to the Yankees or the Red Sox, because we don't see them with any degree of regularity unless it's interleague play -- but far and away, the most obnoxious fans in baseball in this league are those who follow this team right here. ... That is so typical of Chicago Cubs fans. It's unbelievable.

You simply root against them. I've said all winter: they talk about this team winning the division, and my comment is, they won't win it, because, at the end of the day, they still are the Chicago Cubs, and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up.
Preach it, Brother Marty.

Monday, June 8, 2009

DWade sporting "It's Indiana, It's Indiana" gear

Not sure how I feel about this or even what to say. According to Tom Crean's twitter account (pictured below) DWade is now wearing IU gear.

Here's what the entry said:

Our guys just brought up the footage of Dwyane Wade in a Espn spelling bee promo SPORTING INDIANA BASKETBALL SHORTS.

I wish I could take credit for it but I cant. Thats all him. All I did was send him some IU gear back in the fall. from txt

Dwyane is a loyal comrade. from txt

Should we be upset, does this mean Wade's loyalty lies with Crean? Like I said earlier, I'm not sure how I feel but makes me think Wade's days of visiting MU Madness are behind.


MikeHunt's Afraid of Changing, 'Cuz He Built His Life Around You.

(Two Quevedo Pesos -- monetary equivalent: one-half Schrute Buck -- to the first person who can identify the song from which the post title is taken.)

Anyway -- since the old baseball adage is "play .500 ball on the road, play better at home," it's hard to complain about a 3-4 roadie, especially when the pitching staff blanked the Braves on back-to-back nights.

That said, following a game in which Mental Case Manny again submits a line featuring a 1.50+ WHIP and allows 5 earned in 5.2 innings, it's equally hard to say that everything's splendid with the Crew.

At least, it'd be hard if your name isn't MikeHunt.

To see the public-relations problems the Atlanta Braves have caused for themselves with the Tom Glavine mess brings home a couple of relevant points.

And, if history has taught us anything, it's that those two relevant points won't have anything to do with the point you're ultimately trying to make.

One, however, is not that the Milwaukee Brewers should sign Glavine, but more on that in a moment.


The other point is that doing nothing is sometimes the best response.

The final game Sunday in the Milwaukee-Atlanta series was a backdrop for the overriding Brewers issue for armchair general managers everywhere. After the beating Manny Parra took in his previous start at Florida, the reactionary response might have been to get him out of the rotation and take a look at the suddenly available Glavine.

Let's clean up that last sentence:

"After the beating Manny Parra took in his previous start in Florida, coupled with the fact that he's yet to throw a game where his WHIP was below 1.00, and the fact that his team needed him to go at least 7 in that game against Florida and he, instead, crapped all over himself and burned out an already-overused bullpen, and the fact that he's clearly a head case who, from all appearances, is guaranteed to start weeping on the mound at some point, the correct response would have been to get him the fuck out of the rotation as soon as possible, no matter who the Crew had to replace him with."


Meanwhile, Parra was respectable Sunday. He was hurt by one of the best switch-hitters baseball has seen, and one of the gopher balls he threw to Chipper Jones was a decent pitch. He didn't lose the game.

Jesus Mother-Humping Christ: 5.2 innings pitched, 8 hits (2 homers), 2 walks, and 5 earned qualifies as a "respectable" start?

And re: the homer by Larry Jones. I'm not mad about the homer; that's going to happen, especially when the ball is carrying like it was yesterday. No, what I'm pissed about is the two-out walk to Nate McLouth that set the stage for the homer. Manny had handled McLouth easily his first two trips to the plate, but, with two down in the fifth, the motherfucker goes ball-ball-ball-strike looking-walk. That's inexcusable. And it's reason 418 why Manny needs to be sent down as soon as possible.

The larger point is the Brewers have a pretty good thing going. Messing with the chemistry could invite problems that likewise do not exist.

Well, that's compelling. I know I've read a lot of interviews where different players say: "Yeah, Manny's scuffling a little bit right now, but he's such a good teammate and such a great competitor that we're content to let him work through his problems."

The larger point is: I've never seen/read/heard anyone say anything that remotely suggests that Manny Parra is a swell guy who has a positive influence on the clubhouse. In fact, the only evidence we have about what type of teammate Manny is is the dust-up in the dugout with Prince last season. (On a related point: with what we've seen from Manny since then, Prince's actions seem, if not justifiable, at least understandable. If you had a puss-faced pantywaist like Parra on your team, you'd probably want to throttle him, too.) Which is to say: there's nothing to suggest that sending Manny down would have any kind of negative impact on club "chemistry" whatsoever.

This isn't to say they're a finished product that will return to the playoffs or that the Parra situation shouldn't be readdressed at some point if he puts undue strain on the pen every fifth day. But for the moment, the temptation would be to leave well enough alone.

You know what? I realize I'm in the minority on this issue, both on this blog and amongst Brewers fans in general. So let me ask this: what else does Manny Parra need to do to convince you that he doesn't belong in the rotation? Last less than an inning in a start? Walk 10 batters in a game? Curl into the fetal position on the mound after giving up another 3-run homer? Please, tell me.

And, as the cherry on top of this shit sundae, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that Parra is scheduled to start on Saturday, the day of Tailgate 2k9.

Friday, June 5, 2009

First kickball post...

This story from The Onion cracked me up. It reminded me of the good old days when I was living in the MKE.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

In A Nutshell...

funny pictures

...but he probably has a better fastball.

The bottom of the fourth inning summarized The Dave Bush Experience perfectly: he gives up hits to the first two batters, gets an out, gives up a run-scoring single, and then gets the second out of the inning. And then: home run to the opposing pitcher, who was all of 2-25 on the season before that. If that ain't Dave Bush in a nutshell, I don't know what is.

The Bucks! The Bucks!

Seeing that post of Freeway immediately put the Milwaukee Bucks to mind, and since I know that we are all huge fans of this franchise and the NBA in general, I thought it was about time for another Milwaukee Bucks discussion. What might we want to discuss regarding a horrible NBA franchise that has been in an uncontrollable slump since the "Big 3" glory days that occurred during the early part of this century? Well, what one event do terrible teams typically look forward to every year? You guessed it! The Draft! While the NBA draft isn't as exciting or extensive as say the NFL draft, I will say that in no other sport (of the big 3) can drafting 1 guy completely turn around a franchise and/or fan base. That being said, while I don't foresee the possibility of a franchise changing player at the #10 spot in this years draft, I do feel that the Bucks can at least re-energize the fan base by doing 2 things.

#1 (And this is very important and obvious): Draft a GOOD player! I know what ya'all are thinking....DUH! It's actually not as easy as it sounds (although I think it's pretty easy). In order to make this happen, DO NOT draft a fuzzy foreigner that nobody has ever heard of because he beats up on other fuzzy foreigner's in weak ass Euro-league and/or because "look at how good Dirk Nowitzki is". Please! No more Yi Jianlieanleaae's and no more Ersan Ilyasova/KGBers. Further, enough with the "Joe Alexander's", ie. the guys that essentially make their draft stock because they play well in 2-3 games in the NCAA tourney. Was he even projected as a 2nd rounder going into that season? I'm tired of drafting on potential/athleticism alone. It has gotten us nowhere! What does all of this mean? Take a blue chip player that has established himself for an entire season, and probably has played for one of the major D1 basketball programs. For the 2009 draft, to meet all of these qualifications, I suggest that the Milwaukee Bucks select either Ty Lawson or Johnny Flynn at #10. Both were big time recruits in high school......Both went on to play at great college basketball schools......Both were elite players in college and helped lead their teams to a lot of wins (Lawson - National Championship and Final Four in previous year; Flynn - did you see him play like 1000 min's in that 6 overtime game....stud!)

#2: With potentially 3 Marquette alums looking to be drafted in the 2nd round, I highly suggest selecting one of them with their second round pick, #41 overall. My interest alone would increase 1000 fold if Jerel or Wes were on the team and got decent playing time. While I think it may be a bit too high to take Wes there, Jerel would be an outstanding selection at that point in the draft in my opinion. With Sessions likely on the way out, Redd's contract getting ever closer to an end (hopefully he'll be traded), and C.Bell either being hurt or sucking, I say why not take 2 guards in this draft. So as I stated above, this fan base needs to be re-energized (and not just by "Energy".....or "Intensity" for that matter). What better way to do that than drafting a local kid. I think at worst, making this move would increase ticket sales, tv viewers, and jersey sales.

If this organization swings and misses on another draft, what the hell is going to happen to this franchise? After Redd and Bogut, there isn't much substance. We need some impact players and I think a Big East dynamic duo of Flynn and McNeal would be a HUGE step in the right direction. So what is everyone's opinion here? I'm looking for wants and ways that the Bucks will screw this up.

Huzzahs for McDouche

He entered in a tough spot last night and threw 3 perfectly located seeds to Uggla with the bases loaded. 3.1 innings, 2 hits, no walks and one 700 ft solo shot to Uggla, not a bad night for Big Red.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Since we all need something good in our lives...

... This seems like the perfect time to bring this up.

FREE Float Night at SONIC!!!!!!!!

That's right folks. Tonight at all participating SONIC restaurants you can get a FREE 10 oz Root Beer Float.

Since my life is seemingly going down the crapper* this is just what I need. I have a feeling I know where I will be tonight and if anyone cares to join me, the more the merrier. Who doesn't love waiting in line forever to get something for free and eat food that will take years off my life. I LOVE SONIC!!!!! And the food isn't that unhealthy...

*might be a slight exaggeration.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A Public Service Announcement for Manny Parra:

Here's the 10-day Weather Planner for Nashville, Tennessee. Looks like it's going to get hot this weekend: 81 degrees on Friday, 86 on Saturday, and 90 on Sunday. Pack your Bermuda shorts.

Also: here's the calender of events for the Grand Ole Opry for June. Hey -- looks like mega-sexpot Carrie Underwood is going to be there on the ninth -- with Trace Adkins and Charlie Daniels, too! That looks like a good deal. Maybe you can get comped seats from the Sounds.

Enjoy your flight, asshole.

(In all -- well, slightly more -- seriousness: if there's no room on the roster for a stumblebum like Julio, then there's certainly no room for a starter with a 6.75 ERA and a 1.80+ WHIP, especially one who throws up a 4-inning, 11-hit, 10-run abortion in a game where his team absolutely, positively needs him to go at least 7 innings. Maybe Prince was on to something when he throttled that fuckstick last year...)

What's In the Aldi Bag??

A special moment with Freeway.

SBTG's All Star Selections...

Here are my All Star teams including someone from every team to discuss amongst ourselves.

AL Starters (8)
c - Joe Mauer - Twins
1b - Justin Morneau - Twins
2b - Ian Kinsler - Rangers
ss - Jason Bartlett - Rays
3b - Evan Longoria - Rays
of - Jason Bay - Red Sox
of - Torri Hunter - Angels
of - Jonny Damon - Yankees

AL Revserves (12)
c - Victor Martinez - Indians
c - AJ Piersynksi - White Sox
1b - Mark Teixeria - Yankees
1b - Miguel Cabrera - Tigers
1b - Kevin Youkillis - Red Sox
2b - Aaron Hill - Blue Jays
ss - Derek Jeter - Yankees
3b - Alex Rodriguez - Yankees
of - Ichiro Suzuki - Mariners
of - Carl Crawford - Rays
of - Nick Markakis - Orioles
of - Matt Holiday - A's

AL Pitchers (13)
sp - Zach Grienke - Royals
sp - Roy Halladay - Blue Jays
sp - CC Sabatia - Yankees
sp - Mark Buehrle - White Sox
sp - Josh Beckett - Red Sox
sp - Justin Verlander - Tigers
rp - Bobby Jenks - White Sox
rp - Brian Fuentes - Angels
cl - Jonathon Papelon - Red Sox
rp - Frank Francisco - Rangers
rp - George Sherrill - Orioles
rp - Mariano Rivera - Yankees
rp - Joe Nathan - Twins

NL Starters (8)
c - Brian McCann - Braves
1b - Albert Pujols - Cardinals
2b - Chase Utley - Phillies
ss - Hanley Ramirez - Marlins
3b - David Wright - Mets
of - Ryan Braun - Brewers
of - Raul Ibanez - Phillies
of - Carlos Beltran - Mets

NL Revserves (13)
c - Yadir Molina - Cardinals
c - Benji Molinda - Giants
1b - Prince Fielder - Brewers
1b - Adrian Gonzalez - Padres
2b - Brandon Phillips - Reds
2b - Freddie Sanchez - Pirates
ss - Yunel Escobar - Braves
ss - Miguel Tejada - Astros
3b - Ryan Zimmerman - Nationals
of - Brad Hawpe - Rockies
of - Adam Dunn - Nationals
of - Alfonso Soriano - Cubs
of - Carlos Lee - Astros

NL Pitchers (12)
sp - Johan Santana - Mets
sp - Matt Cain - Giants
sp - Yovanni Gallardo - Brewers
sp - Chris Carpenter - Cards
sp - Wandy Rodriguez - Astros
sp - Dan Haren - Dbacks
sp - Chad Billinsgly - Dodgers
rp - Heath Bell - Padres
rp - Jonathan Broxton - Dodgers
rp - Fransicso Rodriguez - Mets
cl - Trevor Hoffmann - Brewers
rp - Francisco Cordero - Reds

If You Thought the Llama Was Bad...

Check out the email from his "friend" Brenden that the Llama posted on his blog (and, as always, this is a straight copy-and-paste job, so all [sics] are the writer's, not mine):

Dude that is good stuff. So true to! Manny can watch a home run till he hits third and it is Manny being Manny but Braun cannot watch a ball for 5 strides and get reemed by the turds on ESPN who dont know what they are talking about 95% of the time. Showalter is a morom and I cannot stand listening to that guy talk! There is reason he is no longer a coach. Cause he sucked! This is a young team who loves to play and have fun. Of course there is going to be some antics on the field. A pitcher can fist pump all day but a guy cannot untuck a jersey or watch a home run for a few steps. Whatever! Teams better get use to losing to the crew cause these guys love playin together and will be around for awhile!!

I have no words.

Two Quick Thoughts On Last Night's Game.

Regarding Sr. Julio -- and this might be the most difficult thing I've ever had to do -- I'd like to paraphrase deposed skipper Nedly "Ned" Yost III. Remember wayyyy back, in King Ned's first couple years, when the Brewers gave long looks to players like Ben Grieve and Victor Santos and other players like that? His Majesty talked about the Brewers being a "land of opportunity" for these kinds of players, a place where they could find consistent playing time and (hopefully) turn into serviceable ballplayers. But then, when the Brewers got decent in King Ned's last couple years, Ned said that all that "land of opportunity" stuff went out the window: if you can't contribute, there's no place for you on the Brewers' roster.

All of that is a long way of saying: Why in God's holy name is a first-place team still carrying a guy with a 5.71 ERA and 1.56 WHIP who can only be used when the team is up 5 runs or down 5 runs? Is there any rational explanation for this?

(EDIT: When I pulled Julio's numbers this morning, I didn't realize that baseball-reference.com hadn't added in last night's gruesome figures. Including last night, George is now sporting a healthy 7.79 ERA and 1.73 WHIP. Mother of God.)

(Also: is "immolate" a verb? For example: could I say that "Jorge Julio immolated in spectacular fashion last night"? I don't think it works like that. But it's really the only word that captures the essence of the clusterfuck that is Jorge Julio.)

And, second: found this nugget in T-Haud's game recap:

[T]he Brewers found themselves short in the bullpen on a muggy, drizzly night when starter Jeff Suppan struggled to get through five innings ...

Seth McClung also was unavailable after pitching three innings Saturday night.

I think McDouche would be interested to hear this, since he pitched the seventh inning last night.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Let's Change It Up Today.

Critiquing Todd Welter's work has gotten a bit boring; it's like grading a paper for a third grader who speaks English as his second (or maybe third) language. So, today, let's see what Greg Giesen of the Racine Journal Times has to say about the Crew (with love to KL Snow and the other wunderkinds at Brew Crew Ball for the link).

But, before we jump in, keep two things in mind:

One, this piece was written on Friday, before the three-game sweep of the Reds.

Two, Greg Giesen, from all appearances, is an idiot.

That said, here we go:

Baseball fans dig the long ball.

Home runs are the reason fans flocked to watch Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire back in 1998.

Home runs electrify crowds and can turn a game around with one swing of the bat.

To paraphrase Jack Black in Tenacious D's "Kielbasa": So far, off to a good start.

But home runs are also a Siren’s call to baseball players and teams that can lead to disaster.

The Milwaukee Brewers are a perfect example of a team drawn to the allure of the home run only to find its promises of high-octane splendor empty.

Oh, shit. It's a small-ball trap!

Entering Friday's game against Cincinnati, the Brewers have hit 53 home runs — second in the National League. Eighty-five of Milwaukee’s 218 runs scored have come via the home run. That’s 39 percent of the team’s offense. During the Brewers’ recent 28-game stretch during which they went 22-6, Milwaukee hit 35 home runs. During that span, the Brewers scored 155 runs and 56 — or 37 percent — came via the long ball.

Greg, since we're talkin' numbers, let's try these on: last year, the Brewers scored a total of 750 runs. Guess how many scored via the home run? 297. Percentage-wise, for you math geeks: 39.6% of the team's runs. In case you've got an obscenely short memory, lemme remind you: we made the playoffs last year scoring 39.6% of our runs by home run. It's not a foolproof strategy, by any means, but we're not languishing in last place playing this way, either.

Since finishing a three-game sweep of St. Louis May 18, Milwaukee has hit three home runs accounting for four of its 22 runs. Milwaukee’s record during that period is 3-6. Going a step further, the Brewers are 22-9 in games in which they homer, but just 5-11 in games in which they don’t.

Let me cut through all the bullshit for you, Greg: hitting home runs is good. It helps your team win baseball games. See? I just saved you 500-some words.

But wait! It gets better:

But when those power outages arise, teams have to grind through the tough times and score enough runs to win. The St. Louis Cardinals did just that Wednesday in their 3-2 victory over Milwaukee at Miller Park. ...

There wasn’t a single home run, but St. Louis beat Milwaukee because the Cardinals got runners on base, hit to the left side for productive outs and scored the runner. They manufactured runs. That’s exactly how championship-caliber teams beat good pitching and grind through offensive slumps.

These same St. Louis Cardinals -- the gritty, small-ball playin', hard drinkin', untucked shirt despisin', salt of the earth folks that Greg Giesen wants the Brewers to emulate -- had hit 51 homers going into their weekend series vs. the Giants.

And, apparently, Greg didn't take in the Brewers' 1-0 win over the Cards two days before, when the Brewers "got [a] runner on base," advanced the runner into scoring position and "scored the runner. They manufactured [a] run." After all: " That's exactly how championship-caliber teams beat good pitching and grind through offensive slumps."

The Brewers need to focus on fundamental hitting. Players like outfielder Corey Hart, third baseman Bill Hall and Hardy need to focus on putting down bunts, moving runners over and executing at the plate with fewer than two outs. All three have hit 20 home runs in a season and have that ability, but the team’s long-term success depends on them getting on base, moving runners over and driving them in by any means necessary.

Annnnd there it is. You were wondering when it was going to come (that's what she said), weren't you? The mindless suggestion that, if the Brewers hope to contend this season, they need to bunt more? He doesn't disappoint, that Greg Giesen.

Let's just throw the stats up there, for poops and giggles:

BILL HALL: 13 sac bunts (career); 5 in the last three-plus seasons. 100 career homers.

17 sac bunts (career), including 8 in his rookie year, when he couldn't hit out of a wet paper bag; 9 in the last three-plus seasons. 69 career homers.

JON "CORAL" HART: 10 sac bunts (career), including one this season. 60 career homers.

But, yes, by all means, give up outs and bunt more, boys.

Lookit: I know there's a vocal mob of numbnuts in this state who want to see the Brewers play small ball at all costs. (This same mob of numbnuts is also eager to point out that Tony Gwynn, Jr. is hitting .320 for the Padres, with an OBP of .390. M'self, I'm equally eager to point out that: (a) we're talking a sample size of 25-some at bats; and (b) TGJ's already struck out 6 times in nine games.) But, facts are facts: the Brewers are a home run hitting team. This year, we're going to have at least three guys with at least 30 homers, and probably five with at least 20. This is who they are, and, thus far, the results have been pretty good.

(Does that qualify as a positive post, Va Jay Jay?)

Who Can Argue With Logic Like This?

So, the Brewers complete the three-game sweep of the Reds, getting a dy-no-mite performance from Braden Looper in the first game and pounding out a combined 14 runs in the last two, with the 'pen putting up a zero for the entire series. Pretty thorough beatdown, when you look it.

Well, except if your name is Brandon Phillips:

"I feel like we're a better team than the Brewers," he said.

That's a pretty provocative thing to say after your team gets swept, and with the Crew leading the season series 5-3. So: if the Reds are the better team, what happened this weekend, Brandon?

"But today, they executed better than we did. They did the little things. We didn't do the little things the last two games. That's why they won the game."

Actually, besides the five-spot the Reds put up against Rubie's favorite punching bag, Dave Bush (text of message sent after the two homers in the first: "I can't satisfactorily express my hatred for Dave Bush. I would wish death upon him, but I don't want that on my conscience"; text of Reid's response: "You think not wishing him death this time cancels out the previous dozen times?" Awesome), the Reds didn't do anything against the Crew.

And then, as if he hadn't already completed refuted his point about the Reds allegedly being a better team than the Brewers, Phillips went on:

"Good teams do little things to win," he said. "We got to do small things. Get them over, get them in and they executed. That's why they are in first place."

Thanks, Brandon, for nullifying your conclusion and making my job easy. What's the point in arguing with you when you've already argued -- and argued very effectively, I might add -- against yourself?