Thursday, June 18, 2009

Colin Cowherd Has Looked Into The Souls Of Packers' Fans ...

... and Colin Cowherd sees fear.

I wish I could find a link to a full replay of today's episode of "The Herd," but, sadly, all I can seem to turn up is a link to Colin talking to Mike Irvin (presumably about hookers and blow. I didn't bother to listen, but I feel I can safely presume that those were the subjects of conversation).

So, you're going to have to take my word for it: coming back from a commercial break, Co-Co said he was getting emails from Packers' fans who were claiming that they weren't concerned about Favre coming back for the Vikings, since Favre is old n' busted and, to put it succinctly, not a difference maker anymore. Most of these emailers felt that, if he were to strap on the Viking horns, Favre would ultimately do more harm than good to the Minnesota franchise.

(On a related note: good job by you, Packer fans who emailed Colin Cowherd regarding your lack-of-trepidation at the possibility of Brett Favre playing quarterback for the 'Queens! If I cared to look up Colin Cowherd's email address, those are the exact same points I would have made. Maybe my calculation that half of the people in this state are mouth-breathing Favre apologists was off.)

ANYWAY,

Colin says (and I'm paraphrasing, of course) that Packer fans are full of shit, and that we're terrified at the prospect of Favre playing for the Vikings because we know, in our heart of hearts, that Favre, even approaching age 40, is still a top-flight quarterback.

Co-Co's reasoning?

Very simple: in 2007, Favre's last year with the Pack, the team went 13-3 and was "a field goal in overtime away from the Super Bowl." (He repeated this last part, like, eight times. Apparently, Colin felt this particular piece of his argument was devastating.) Last year, the Packers, without Favre, went 6-10, and the Jets, with Favre, started 8-3, "before his arm fell off and the Jets finished out of the playoffs."

That's it. That's the entire argument.

(OK, there was a bit more: there was also an especially bizarre snippet where Colin, after repeating the records of the 2007 Packers and 2008 Jets about three more times, said he "didn't want to go all stat nerd" on his audience. This piece was especially bizarre, primarily, because Colin didn't cite any statistics whatso-fucking-ever during the entirety of his argument.)

From Colin's argument, I can, without hesitation, make the following conclusions:

(1) He didn't watch a single play of the Packers' 2007 season, because, if he had, he'd have seen that the 13-3 record was, in large part, the result of the Packers getting every break imaginable during the regular season, and that the reason the Pack ended the season "a field goal in overtime away from the Super Bowl" was that Favre got thoroughly (almost embarrassingly) outplayed by Eli Manning in a home game. (Oh, and he also threw the interception that set the stage for the game-winning score. There's that part, too.)

(2) He didn't watch a single play of the Packers' 2008 season, because, if he had, he'd have seen that the 6-10 record was largely the responsibility of the defense. And also: not to go all "stat nerd," but fuck the heck: Aaron Rodgers, in his first season as a starter -- 63.6% completion percentage, 28 touchdowns, 13 interceptions, 93.8 passer rating, plus 4 rushing touchdowns. That doesn't exactly add up to the quarterback being a cause of the team's problems.

(3) He didn't watch a single play of the last five games of the Jets' 2008 season, because, if he had, he'd have seen that the Jets' 1-4 collapse down the stretch is largely the responsibility of Brett Lorenzo Lamas Favre: 56% completion percentage, 2 touchdowns, 9 picks, including a three-interception stinkbomb in the regular season finale.

But, by all means, Colin, keep bringing this weak sauce. It's going to make it that much more enjoyable when the 'Queens are sitting at 7-7 in Week 15, and Adrian Peterson is bitching that he's not getting enough touches, and Bobby Wade is in traction because Ol' No. 4 threw a ball 15 yards over Wade's head and got him laid out, and Minnesota fans are begging for Sage Rosenfels to be put into the game.

2 comments:

Master Reid said...

Hahahaha!!! "Lorenzo Lamas"!!! That is funny shit!

*wipes tears of laughter away and composes himself*

I also love the "Well Rodgers never led them back to win any games" take. Damn that. How many times did Rodgers lead them down to score with like 1:30 to play, only to watch the defense wilt and allow the winning/tying score with like 20 seconds left. Then when Rodgers throws a pick trying to pull a miracle outta his ass, everyone chalks it up to him "not having the comeback magic of Brett Favre." The Carolina game sticks out most glaringly in my mind, but I know there were others.

You are a Baffoon said...

Well said in all facets. The 2008 Packers were dreadful on defense. I remember specifically on numerous occasions standing up from my chair and screaming my fucking head off for someone to make a tackle. A line from a none football movie "Major League" sticks in my mind vividly...Dorn...don't give me any of that Ole' Bullshit. There were games where the leading tacklers on Green Bay were the safeties and corners...Completely unacceptable. Favre will wilt down the stretch, bank on it. He can't run, let alone move very far without a tractor and when the pressure gets more intense in November and December it'll be business as usual for him and his turnover throwing habits. He's a turnover addict he used to be addicted to booze, loose women, and vicodin...now it's throwing interceptions when it matters most...