Thursday, July 2, 2009

The email post...

I'm not sure how many people realize this, and by looking at the inbox it is nobody, but we here at the Buffet have an email account. Look over on the right side of the page. Down a little bit... there you go. Right there. It's a cool gmail account. We here at the Buffet are quite hip. I have been checking it periodically to see what our informed readers are sending to us. Maybe Toddles has responded to the bashing he has received. Maybe MikeHunt wrote to thank us for informing him that he sucks because no one else has obviously ever done that. Well, wait no more. Here is the content of our email account.

Someone calling themselves pineda thinks our name is pantherrants. Pineda also would like to tell us what we should eat. Apparently we can download a 7-day Fat Loss Meal Plan! Holy crap. Why am I not doing this right now?

We then got something from Greggs... another person that thinks we are called pantherrants, about Twitter. I guess the world, or at least this person called Greggs, wants us to Twitter.

An emailer by the name of Miller contacted us and asked if they could tell us a secret. You want to tell us a secret? I don't think that is a good idea. Once the Buffet has a couple of drinks, we open up the vault and nothing is safe. In order to protect you, Miller, I don't want you to tell me your secret.

Thomas also wants to tell us a secret. Is it the same secret that Miller had? I kind of want to know now.

Cervantes emailed us to let us know that we can run a business and all we need is two hours a day. What? Only two hours a day and we can make money? Sounds too good to be true. Why would we keep working our real jobs? Why put in 8 or more hours a day when I can only do 2? I think I'll respond to Cervantes and see what the deal is? There is no way this a scam.

There were also other emails, but that is all we have time for today. I am slightly disappointed that we didn't get any emails about our genitals. Apparently we can all get and keep erections and our stuff is of an adequate size. I guess we got that going for us.


Rubie Q said...

I love the opening line, VJJ. Reminds me of the classic Uecker line in "Major League": "In case you haven't noticed, and, judging by the attendance, you haven't ..."

I complete forgot about the email address, and now I'm dismayed that all our efforts to offend and incite have been met with ... nothing.

And, I, too, want to know what Cervantes secret is. Email him back.

Devil's Threesome said...

[Insert Don Quixote pun]

FPMKE said...

The secrets from Thomas and Miller remind of that epiode of Chappelle's Show where he goes to the mall of the internets. "Hey buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy. I have something really important I need to talk to you about. Want to increase the size of your penis?"

I'm going to try and post the video for S's and G's.

Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

And then Ron Jeremy shows up and asks Dave if he wants to watch him have sex.

Priceless. Great bit.