Monday, August 31, 2009

Random Brewers thoughts...

Well, Rubie is out of town and has left the blog in our hands. Hopefully it doesn't blow up in that time.

I have some things I want to say about the Brewers.

1. Does anyone really realize how big of a year Prince is having? I mean, good lord! He is going to shatter the old RBI record. He is absolutely crushing the ball. It has gotten to the point where he has turned our fans into Cubs' fans when he gets up. Every ball he hits gets a big reaction. I guess when you hit two balls WELL over 400 feet off of the scoreboard that'll happen. I guess we don't have to wonder about the home run derby ruining his swing.

I know that we all realize how big of a year he is having, but is the national media recognizing that? I haven't had a chance to watch much MLB Network (a sin, I know), Baseball Tonight or Sportscenter. Are they talking about him? Is Pujols taking all the attention? It doesn't help that the Brewers have taken an extreme nosedive.

2. Is anyone else a little concerned about Gallardo? I flat out love the guy. He is probably my favorite current Brewer not on the disabled list, but I'm a bit concerned. I know this is his first full season, but this pitch count stuff needs to be examined. He is a strike out type pitcher and obviously they will have some higher pitch counts since you have to make at least 3 pitches to every batter in order to strike him out, but having 100 or more pitches by the fifth isn't going to cut it for our "ace". This has been the story too often lately. I know we don't want him to be a (here is a term Rubie and others hate) contact pitcher like Suppan, but there has got to be a way to cut down the pitch count. Less walks would help. Otherwise he has been a great 5 innings pitcher. How about getting him some run support?

3. We all thought it would happen. It was the perfect storm. Suppan making his second start since coming off the DL. It was also the Suppan bobblehead day. Recent past shows that players suck and usually end up ruining their season with a bobblehead (see Turnbow, Derrick). For some reason though (it could be that we were playing the AAA Pirates) Suppan went out there and pitched a very solid game. He got in some trouble in a couple spots, but he got out of them with a couple double plays and some nice "contact pitching".

All in all, the season is done and it sucks. Oh well. I can't wait to see what happens this offseason.

Hardy is probably gone.
Hart has a chance at being dealt.
Cameron, Kendall, Counsell all are probably gone.
McGeehee. Do we keep him?
SBTG's boy Bourgeois. Is he our next Podsednik?
Gamel. Can he do it in the bigs?

Many more questions.

Oh, and big props to FPMKE for the Reel Big Fish lyric usage in his Bill Hall post. I forgot to give him props until today.

Friday, August 28, 2009

On Front Office Decisions and Heads Rolling

Word on the street (and by "the street" I of course mean "Tom Haudricout's Blog") is that some team did end up putting a waiver claim on Trevor Hoffman. That's not terribly surprising. It's been obvious all along that Hoffman is our most tradeable commodity, amongst the veterans anyways. I could see him proving beneficial for any one of those teams battling out in the NL West. I've made no secret of my feelings that the Brewers should've put him on the market a f*cking month ago. But now that he's officially been made available, and a team has officially shown interest, does it make sense to move Hoffman at this stage of the game? Prior to today, I would've said "hell yeah, get whatever you can, we're not going to re-sign him anyways." But after reading that he could be a "Class A" free agent this offseason, I'm not so sure that's my position anymore. Is any prospect that you'd receive now worth the potential 2 picks that you'd get from his signing with another team this offseason? Probably not. But on the other hand, what if you pass on a minor leaguer now and Hoffman decides to hang it up after the season? Then you get dick. All part of the game when you're a big league GM.

Which segues nicely into my second point. It seems that after going a woeful 2-8 in a 10 game stretch versus the Pirates, Nationals, and Reds, the natives are starting to get a little (more) restless. The calling for bloodshed appears to have intensified after this past week's display of bed wetting. It's beginning to look like Brewer fans everywhere are just itching for a good old-fashioned, torch and pitchfork party. Does Doug Melvin, the guy who brought a playoff team to Milwaukee for the first time in 26 years really deserve to get measured for the guillotine after season? Should Ken Macha get canned after this year's failure? I don't really think either of them deserve the axe this year. But then again, I'm the "no backbone, benefit of the doubt, stick up for management, p*ssy" around this joint, so maybe I'm wrong. So, should someone be going down for this? If so, then who?

Thursday, August 27, 2009


If only the Brewers would've had Suppan and Bush for the past month and a half. They would have made all the difference. You look at the sparkling outings they went out and threw in this series, and you can't help but wonder "What if...". I mean, it would have been such a boost to the staff to have two guys in the rotation that could go out every time it was their turn and pitch almost 5 full innings and hold the opposition to 5 runs or less. That's exactly the thing the Brewers have been missing this summer. That's the kind of stuff that successful rotations are built around. I guess there's nothing left to do this year but let those guys go out there, and keep showing us what we missed out on. I can't help but think that we'll look back at this season and ponder just what might've happened if Suppan and Bush wouldn't have gotten hurt. I just hope that they both can stay healthy, and we can look forward to a long, long season with Bush and Suppan anchoring our rotation in 2010.

Brewers Placed on Waivers...

According to a report from Ken Rosenthal at, Doug Melvin has placed several members of the Brewers on waivers Tuesday. Any waiver claim would happen by noon today at which time the Brewers have 10 days to pull that player off waivers, trade him, or release him. It sounds to me like he's throwing in the towel and looking to see if he can get anything for some of his veterans. Here is a list of the names reportedly on the waiver wire and some pros and cons to dumping them:

Trevor Hoffman- Has been exactly what the Brewers needed this year, its just too bad we couldn't get him more save opportunities. By all accounts he's comfortable in Milwaukee and probably doesn't want to be a set-up guy. I'd consider signing him again next year if the two sides can agree on a salary figure, but if you can get a nice prospect for him, I say move him.

Craig Counsell - Has had a nice year, especially given he earned only $1 million and how he went from the first guy off the bench to being bounced around the infield as almost an everyday player. Is in the tail end of his career and I have to believe he likes playing in Milwaukee and don't think he'd play anywhere else next year. I'd seriously consider signing him for 2010 and using him off the bench or in spot starts in the infield. Maybe you trade him to a contender for a month and hope he signs with us in the off season.

Felipe Lopez - Was a nice addition to the team when we needed a 2B and lead-off hitter. He'll be a free agent and not sure what he'll get on the open market. With Rickie coming back next year and Casey McGehee being able to play second it may make sense to move Lopez if someone is looking for a lead-off hitter.

Braden Looper - Has been exactly what we thought he might be, a solid 3rd or 4th pitcher. 11-6 with a 4.88 ERA. Sure he gives up way to many home runs but he's provided us with a lot of innings (155 to date) and the most starts of any Brewer pitcher (27 to date). He's been fairly productive given his $4.5 contract. He has a team option of $6 million for next year, which I'd be tempted to exercise if we don't trade him. The prospect we obtain for him would have to be pretty good in my opinion to make the trade worth while.

Jason Kendall - Kendall is at the end of his contract with Milwaukee and presumably at the end of his career here as well. Despite being well liked by the pitchers and a pretty good defensive catcher and game caller, his inability to provide any ting on the offense side of the game has been his biggest liability during his time with the Crew. I think its time to move on and if someone wants to trade something for him, I say let's do it. Let's see what Mike Rivera and Angel Salome can do in September as they are the future for the Brewers at catcher.

Mike Cameron - As much as I love seeing him chase balls in center, I think free-agent to be Mike Cameron is movable if someone wants him for the rest of the year. He's not worth what he's being paid now or what he'll want as a free agent and I don't see him in our plans in center field next year. Move him if you can.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Word On The Blog-Off.

So, the point of the Blog-Off, as I understand it, was to encourage our non- or highly-infrequently contributing members to get their shit together and start bringing some quality content to the site.

Thus far, the results of the Blog-Off have been: Kirby (bizarrely) quitting; Moongoose staying (and then going silent again); Mustache getting booted (if we're talking about mistakes in inviting people to contribute to the blog, Mustache is my Justin Harrell); Baffoon being called out for not posting anything when he couldn't post anything in the first place; and Kirby "winning," though he'd already quit.


Understandably, some other members of the blog were worried about losing their posting privileges -- though they appeared to think that they needed to avoid my wrath when, in fact, the Blog-Off has been SBTG's baby since jump street. Anyway, we've gotten some good discussion over the last couple days, culminating today with a nice (but FIB-ish) post from The Gunt regarding the Bears -- which, wouldn't you know it, got linked to on the SportsBubbler.

So: now that Gunt's been linked, and I've been linked, and D3's been linked (to be fair, one of the links consisted of the boys at RFB mocking D3's dictionary skillz), and Reid's been linked, and $'s been linked, and VaJayJay's been linked (including, if I'm not mistaken, our only link for Marquette-related content), and FPMKE's been linked (routinely, back in the day, when RFB did their link dump every morning) ... and Pope's only been here for a week or so (NOT THAT IT WOULD KILL HIM TO COMMENT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE), and Moongoose just got a reprieve ...

Hmmm. Who does that leave not carrying his end of the donkey?


Yeah. It's comin', SBTG.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

D3's Uneducated College Football Ruminations

With the moving and nupitals I haven't had much time to fully delve into my life's true passion, college football research. I'll get some more content up over the next week, but here are some early, very uneducated thoughts on the upcoming season.

Many college football pundits will tell you that Ole Miss is bound to have a breakout year and win the SEC West. Those pundits are fucking wrong. Sure, they beat Florida last year, but that game was late season Tecmo Super Bowl-esque. Incredulous turnovers and Dave Meggett getting hurt. Pure luck. Then, they waltzed through a watered down SEC West (sans Bama) en route to the Cotton Bowl. Don't buy into the hype

Take the paragraph above and apply it to Oklahoma St. I predict a double-digit UGA win in Stillwater on opening weekend

Speaking of opening weekend - look at these thrilling Big 11 games on tap for next weekend!
  • Eastern Kentucky at Indiana
  • Illinois vs. Missouri (St. Louis)
  • Northern Iowa at Iowa
  • Western Michigan at Michigan
  • Montana State at Michigan State
  • Minnesota at Syracuse
  • Towson at Northwestern
  • Navy at Ohio State
  • Akron at Penn State
  • Toledo at Purdue
  • Northern Illinois at Wisconsin

The Big 11 will make your eyes bleed, but they'll still land tOSU & State Penn in the BCS, where they will once again be sacrificial lambs to teams who play in real conferences

The Big 12 won't play defense, but that will make it fun as hell to watch. Texas should take the conference led by my man-crush/nemesis, Colt McCoy. OU will have trouble with a new offensive line. We'll see how Wahoo Sam Bradford handles pressure. Dude should have left after last year - caution! plummeting draft stock.

I'm predicting great things for Wisconsin, at least great for me. Suspending your top two starting safeties? Check. Lacking a viable QB? Check. A drooling Sammy as head coach? Check. Motor City bowl here we come! Can't wait for that Wofford game!

If you listen, and not even very hard, you can hear the Tim Tebow fellating. It's really fucking annoying. I'm sure he's a good guy, but I can't wait for his ass to graduate so we can talk about something else

Finally, I heart the Song Girls. Fuck you Pope Lope for your proximity to these white-sweatered bimbos. Oregon is a close second. How do they get so tan in Eugene's rainy climes?

Jay Cutler and da Bears

E$ made a comment in a previous post about the Bears not having a "#1 receiver" and I've heard similar comments from people since the Cutler trade and wanted to have an open discussion about it (that and I think RQ might be looking to kick me off the buffet if I don't post). I also recognize that I am in the minority as far as Bears fans go, so please have mercy and keep it civil. Lastly, I am still in training at work and have no computer yet, so I can't defend anything until I get home.

Arguement #1: Cutler is over-rated/not that good
Let us compare two teams...the 2006 Denver Broncos with Jake Plummer vs. 2007 Denver Broncos with Cutler

2006 Broncos
Jake Plummer - 2006 QB Ranking 28th (55% comp, 1994 yds, 11TD, 13INT)
Record was 9-7
Note the defense was ranked 8th in points allowed and 14th in yards allowed
Leading receivers:
Rod Smith 52 rec, 512 yds, 3TD
Brandon Marshall 20 rec, 309 yds, 2TD (8 games)
Javon Walker 69 rec, 1084 yds, 8TD
Tony Scheffler 18 rec, 286yds, 4TD
Tatum Bell 24 rec, 115yds, 0TD

Now let's look at 2007 Broncos with Cutler as QB:
Cutler 12th ranked QB in NFL
Record 7-9, Cutler was 63% comp, for 3,497yds, 20TD, 14INT.
Note defense was ranked 28th in points allowed
Leading receivers:
Brandon Marshall - 102 rec 1,325yds and 7TD
Eddie Royal - 91 rec, 980yds and 5TD
Brandon Stokely - 40 rec, 635 yds, 5TD
Tony Scheffler - 49 rec, 549yds, 5TD
Selvin Young - 35 rec, 231yds, 0TD

As far as I can tell, Cutler = significant improvement in the Bronco's passing game. I am not saying that Jay Cutler is solely responsible for the improvement of the passing game, but the numbers are improved. Sure their record went from 9-7 to 7-9, but the Defense went from 8th to 28th in points allowed in one year. Something that is out of Cutler's hands.

Also note: Cutler is 13-3 when the Denver Def. holds the opponent to 21 points or less. Bear's D averaged 21.9 pts/game in 2008.

Arguement #2: The AFC West has shitty teams with shitty defense - Cutler has been beating up on Kansas City and Oakland.

I looked at the Defenses of the two divisions.
The AFC West Defense (excluding Denver's stats):
24.5 points/game
368 yards/game
227 passing yards/game

The NFC North Defense (excluding Chicago's stats):
25.6 points/game
343 yards/game
216 passing yards/game

2008 Def. Rankings based on pts/game
13. fucking vikings
15. SD Chargers
22. GB Packers
24. Oakland Raiders
28. KC Chiefs
32. Det. Lions

Not a huge change in defense as far as I can tell. Sure it's looking at last years stats, but I see no significant advantage or disadvantage in defenses that Cutler will face.

Arguement #3: The Bears have no receivers

I really hate this arguement and here is why:
Let's look at Kyle Orton's first 8 games of the 2008 season:

Orton had a 5-3 record
Avg QB rating of 89.9
61.8% completions
1,777 yards (222 yd/game)
10 TD and 4 INT

Second half of the season (note he did not play against the Titans)
Record 4-3
AVG QB rating of 58.6
58.6% completions
1,195 yards (170 yd/game)
8TD and 8INT

Only major receiver difference was Brandon Lloyd was healthy in the first half. That's right, Brandon fucking Lloyd.

The whole first half of the season everyone was praising Orton, he had decent numbers, but the GB game happened, his confidence was destroyed and he sucked the rest of the season. What irritates the hell out of me is that when things were going well, when Orton was running a top 10 offense in the first half, nobody mentioned anything about not having a #1 receiver. All of the sudden, he has confidence issues, his stats tank and the Bears need a top caliber receiver? What has really changed: the receivers or Orton? No matter how good the receivers are, somebody still needs to make the throw. Had Orton put up the same numbers in the second half, would we be having this discussion about needing a #1 receiver?

Oh yeah, and fuck Brandon Marshall - he also led the lead in dropped passes last year...if anyone is over-rated it's him.

Bottom line, Cutler is an improvement over Orton/Grossman. The offensive line is improved from last year, Forte and Olsen have another year under their belt...I think the offense is much better vs. 2008. However, I think the Bear Def. has taken a step backwards. The secondary is very weak and injured and the front line cannot get any pressure on the QB = a really bad combination.

My NFC North Predictions:
Vikings 10-6
Bears 9-7
Packers 8-8
Lions 2-14

I'd like to hear everyone elses NFC North predictions

A Budding Rubius Qubotsky:

(That's my full [fake] name. What, you thought 'Rubie Q' was a take on Ruben Quevedo? You idiot.)

Via Deadspin, here's a clip of an agitated youngster losing his shit at the Little League World Series:

If you don't think a young Rubie Q (mind you, a young Rubie Q who was much better at baseball than the real young Rubie Q) wouldn't melt down and request permission to drill the next hitter after giving up the go-ahead run in the last inning of a LLWS game ... then you don't know me very well.

(True story: I was a semi-competent pitcher in Little League, primarily because I could throw strikes. I couldn't throw a curve -- and still can't -- and I couldn't throw a change-up, but I could pump fastballs down the heart of the plate all game long. Well, one game, the home plate umpire was squeezing me on the strike zone. The guy was a real douchefuck; if memory serves, he owned the pharmacy in town and thought he was very important -- and, when he was umping, he had this annoying habit of calling balls and strikes before the damn ball even got to the catcher's mitt. Anyway, in this particular game, it was around the third inning, and it's hot, and I'm doing my nothin'-but-fastballs routine, and the jackass won't call anything on the outer edge. I'm getting grumpy. I throw another fastball on the black. As it's crossing the plate, douchefuck -- as was his custom -- starts to say "STRRRRIIIIIIIIKE" -- except he stops halfway through, changes his mind, and announces: "Nope. Ball."

(I'd had it. I did the Jesus At The Last Supper Big Arms [that's a long clip, but it's the only one I could find -- you want to go to the 2:20 minute mark] and yelled: "Oh, come on!" Douchefuck didn't appreciate this, so he turns to the dugout and says to my coach [himself a real douchefuck, too]: "Coach, tell your pitcher to settle down, or I'll throw him outta the game." Now I'm steamin'. Coach saunters out to the mound, puts his hand on my shoulder, calls the catcher over and says to him: "Kyle, maybe you should duck on the next pitch." In hindsight, it was pretty funny, but I was righteously pissed when Kyle didn't actually duck on the next pitch.

(Anyhow, that story really didn't have a point, except to confirm what you already knew: I'm probably the worst sport ever.)

Another Example Of How The Badgers Can't Hold A Candle To The Real 'Big Red':

When's the last time Madison had an ex-player convicted of first-degree murder? 'Cuz Nebraska did yesterday.

Take that weak Xbox stealin' shit and shove it, you fucking pussies. Burglary? Ha. You didn't even shoot anybody.

(EDIT: On request from D3, here's Thunder's single career highlight:

Monday, August 24, 2009

Prince and Cecil... in Happier Days.

Am I the only person who finds it creepy when Cecil says "I'm gonna take you deep"?

Blog-Off Recap and Round 2 Announcement...

Congratulations to Moongoose McQueen for "winning" round 1 of the First Annual Quevedo at the Buffet Blog-off in record time of 1 day, 23 hours, and 18 minutes. This means Kenosha Mustache is banished by management and is the first entrant into The Land of Wind and Ghosts Supreme Elimination Pool of Death which will occur in early September.

Round 2 is a battle between current non-contributors but members who have been valuable members of our blog over the past few months.

You are a Baffoon (nominated because even though he's a regular commenter he has yet to request contributor status which would allow for him to start posts of his own; he was expected to provide much insight into how awesome Chuck Norris is, offensive line play, and just how realistic the education of Malcolm in the Middle's eldest son Francis is.


Ice Fishing with Kirby (nominated because even though he came up with one of the funniest blog names ever he's just been a royal pain in the ass to all those associated with the blog by his lack of participation and 5-year old temper tantrums when criticized for it (see last first blog-off comments); he was expected to provide much insight about grilling and all things Minn-a-SOTA.

Question for the Blog: Is this funny?

I saw this over the weekend and couldn't help but chuckle...if I didn't all ready have a Samsung tv, I'd go out and buy one for sure.

And the excitement over the first Favre game was uncontrollable in the Dome (note: italics equals sarcasm)

In Memoriam.

Since Kirby apparently decided to announce his retirement from the blog early Saturday morning -- on a post chiding Moongoose and Mustache for not participating in the blog, no less -- I give you J.B. and K.G.:

Quick Hit

Now that I am back from the 3-day weekend of red-neckery, I thought I would get some insight into the world of Wisconsin sports from the Quevedo Roundtable. Well, that, and I didn't want to get "voted" of the island by the elitists here at the QB. So I'm mainly curious about the Pack. I have yet to see a pre-season game and am wondering how the team looks overall. I've been hearing good things about the likes of Raji, Finley, and the linebacking corps but I thought I'd confirm my reports here. Give me your thoughts.

Also, thanks to SBTG for breaking the Roseboro news to me on Friday night via text message. It's an interesting development, but not overly shocking in my opinion. Good luck to Brett in his future endeavors and good luck to Coach Williams in possibly upgrading the talent with that extra scholarship! The door has re-opened for Mr. Blue!

Stay tuned for my next post, "Most Interesting/Entertaining Occurences at Bristol Motor Speedway". I'm sure it will garner a chuckle or two.

Friday, August 21, 2009

First Annual Quevedo at the Buffet Blog-Off

Now that it looks like the Buffet will survive and continue to provide us with (barely) enough entertainment to get us though the day, it's time to address some of the criticisms and concerns from the blog users -- namely, the lack of participation from various "contributors."

Therefore, I am starting the first annual "Quevedo at the Buffet Blog-Off" (which has been approved by the all-powerful founder -- and head-linkee -- Rubie Q) in an attempt to get rid of some of the dead weight around here.

The rules are simple:

1. At random times, I'm going to announce a Blog-Off match-up, which will involve two of our "contributors." The first blog-off contestant to respond/comment to the blog-off post survives and will be granted to right to continue blogging with us.

2. The loser -- that is, the dipshit who doesn't respond or comment on the blog-off post -- is banished to The Land of Wind and Ghosts Supreme Elimination Pool of Death.

3. Those banished to The Land of Wind and Ghosts Supreme Elimination Pool of Death will participate in a head-to-head post-off on a topic decided upon by Buffet Management (better known as "B.M."). We'll pick a winner from the post-off, and that guy gets to keep blogging.

4. The loser of the head-to-head blog-off is blocked by Rubie Q from posting on the blog unless and until he submits a formal reinstatement application. Applications for reinstatement must be submitted through a current member of the blog. One application per week, please, and applications must include an apology and valid reason for reinstatement in 9 words or less.

Got it? Good. 'Cuz here's the first match-up:

Kenosha Mustache (nominated because even though Kenosha is almost in Illinois, it's still close enough to be an active member of the blog; also, KM was expected to provide the blog with insight regarding Las Vegas and musical instruments)


Moongoose McQueen (nominated because instead of sharing his general knowledge of sports with us he's most likely locked away scheming and cramming for the upcoming fantasy football draft; also, MMcQ was expected to provide the blog with insight into Rock Band and professional wrestling)

Remember: first to comment on this post is safe. Loser gets taken out by Mr. Sparkle.

Good luck!

Talking about practice

Below is a video that Moongoose showed me the other day. This is a perfect post for a Friday.

I've watched this a few times (along with his Slap Chop Rap, check that out too) and I can't get enough.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Know How I Know Your Franchise Is A Joke?

It's not the fact that your primary color is purple.

It's not the fact that you've never won the Super Bowl.

It's not the fact that you play that goddamned horn after a two-yard run.

It's not even the fact that you're owned by a guy who shares a first name with this dude.

Nope -- it's this paragraph in this story:

The team has sold sold more than 3,200 season tickets since news broke, and about 11,000 single-game tickets during that time. Seats for the Oct. 5 game against Green Bay are available only through a season ticket. There are roughly 6,000 season tickets remaining.

You mean to tell me that a team that's billing itself as a Super Bowl contender had 10,000 season tickets available only weeks before the start of the season -- and still has 6,000 season tickets available even after the whole Favre fiasco? Are you fucking kidding me? Arena League teams get better support than this, and that league just canceled its fucking season. I mean, I realize the Dome is a shitdump and all, but it's a decent enough place to watch a football game, and, besides that, it only seats 64,000 people. You're not exactly trying to sell out the Rose Bowl there, mudducks.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Bill Hall Headed for the West! He's Headed for Seattle!

Uniform of destruction!

Well, I feel obligated to report that Billy Brew is now a member of the Mariners.

The Brewers received pitching prospect Ruben Flores. After news results, a Google of "Ruben Flores" revealed that he imports flamenco guitars and sings "Latin Love Songs" at Joe's Pub. But seriously, Flores is 3-2 with a 4.39 ERA in 44 relief appearances this season. The Brewers will eat a significant portion of Bill Hall's salary in the deal but be rid of (in body) what has developed into a major albatross (see aslo: Wes Helms).

Now if only the Crew can find a team willing to take Jeff Suppan.... hmmmm.

Junior's In The Fold.

Per Rosiak, Junior Cadougan was cleared by the NCAA Clearinghouse today. Get 'im in, and start working off the pounds, tubby.

OK, No More Indecision:

We're back. For good...ish. I missed the repartee. I really did.

There's just one thing:

We're a Vikings blog now. And a Twins/Gophers/Wild/T-Wolves/Paul Wellstone blog. Sorry: these things happen. Kirby called and offered free cotton candy at every Brewers game we attend.

I look forward to debating the merits of Kent Hrbek's career with y'all.

Nope, Leaving Again.

Well, I tried it, but, in the five minutes since I've posted our un-retirement post, I've found that I don't have the stamina or enthusiasm to continue Buffet-ing. This is a young man's game, and, as all of us except the Pontiff rapidly approach the age of 30, I don't think we can keep up anymore. This time we're calling it quits for reals.

Oh, and also: I'm pissed at VaJayJay. I think he ushered the Buffet out of town when he started Medium Pace. Our blog's not good enough for you, shithead? Choke on a cock.

So: great run. Had fun. Later.

Coming Back.

I don't really know how to start this post. Again: I'm pretty emotional right now. Please continue to bear with me.

In the hour since I announced that the Buffet was going the way of the dinosaur, I've had a lot of time to reflect. And, after a great deal of soul-searching, I think we're ready to start blogging again. Sure, we might not get TWO fucking links on the SportsBubbler every day, and, sure, we might, occasionally, use a few too many commas, or, in my case, specifically, colons, and, sure, it's still highly unlikely that we'll ever hear from Moongoose or Mustache ever again, but: I think we've got a few fastballs left in the ol' arm.

So: I'm very pleased to announce that the Buffet is coming back, effective immediately. It's fucking great to be back.

Hangin' Up The Spurs.

I don't really know how to start this post. I'm kind of emotional right now. Please bear with me.

We started this blog about 15 months ago with the noblest of intentions: to avoid having to send out 26 emails a day from our work accounts. We came, we cursed (some of us more than others), and some of us went to Canada.

Somewhere along the line, people besides the now-twelve chucklenuts who write for this site happened upon the Buffet, and, for some inexplicable reason, a few of those people saw fit to link to our masturbatory fits of swearing. It didn't make a lot of sense -- nobody who writes for the Buffet is going to be confused with legitimate sportswriters like MikeHunt or Todd Welter (least of all Moongoose, who's the fucking Haley's Comet of posters -- a brief explosion of light, followed by years and years of nothing) -- but, hey, if we get a link every couple days, it's cool.

But today, we went supernova (and I'll be goddamned if that isn't the second space-related reference in two sentences): not one, but TWO fucking links on the SportsBubbler's Daily Drink. This being the Buffet, there's really only one word that summarizes that feat: MOTHERFUCKER!

Now, having reached the pinnacle of Wisconsin sportsblogging, there's really no point to continue. It'd simply be too much work to get back to that point, and we've all neglected our families (especially SBTG, who didn't even realize that his wife was pregnant until Baby SBTG showed up a couple weeks ago) during the time that we've spent working on the site.

So: it's been fun. Thanks to those of you who stopped by. We'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

The Buffet's Tentacles Continue To Expand.

It's Manifest Destiny, bitches.

Please welcome the Buffet's new California-based correspondent, Pope Lope's Discourse on the Origin of Species. (At D3's wedding, I asked the Pontiff to come up with an absurdly long handle. He didn't disappoint.)

Look to the Pope for breaking news on Manny's pregnancy and the wave conditions from Ahoya up to Pismo.

(And, having added our twelfth author, let this serve as a not-so-subtle wake up call to those of you who haven't posted in months -- ahem, Moongoose and Mustache. Judgment day is coming, and it's coming right soon.)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Bill Hall, On the Move?

I heard a rumor earlier that Bill Hall might actually get moved prior to his scheduled release date of this Friday but now has confirmed that the rumor might be true.

Apparently, the Cincinnati Reds might be willing to part with self-proclaimed user of non-MLB approved supplements, and possible drunk driving advocate, Bronson Arroyo. The way I see it, this guy would have a wicked awesome time in the MKE.

BUT, back to he of the now infamous "Billy Hall Overzealous Swing Award" label. When questioned by reporters, Bill Hall had this to say:

"This game isn't going to break me down for the rest of my life," Hall said. "It's not like I'm getting released when I'm at the end of my career when I feel like I can still play. I'm 29 years old and in the prime of my career. I'm going home to Arizona for a couple days -- probably won't be there very long from the looks and the sounds of things -- and it's not the last time you'll see Bill Hall."

At first I thought Bill Hall was a bit delusional when I read the "prime of my career" part (we all know that was 2006) but then he referred to himself in the the third person and I realized that he was completely insane.

Does Bill Hall actually believe the shit that comes out of Bill Hall's mouth?

While The Favre Melodrama Is Compelling ...

I'm more fascinated with Brad "The Chiller" Childress's role in this white hot mess, especially now that he's picked up Favre and Mrs. Favre from the airport and shuttled them to practice himself.

Having served as the Favres' personal chauffeur, how in the name of Jehovah is the bald, bespectacled one going to tell Favre which play to run, or which receiver to throw to, or to stop improvising and hand the goddamned ball to Adrian Peterson and getthefuckouttatheway?

People think (rightly) that Favre walked all over Mike Sherman, especially at the end of Sherman's tenure. After Favre gets done with Chiller, Sherman is going to look like Bill Parcells.

I can't wait.

That could be official today too... is reporting Favre is on a plane heading to Minny today and is expected to sign by the end of the day. Holy hell this is actually going to happen!

Monday, August 17, 2009

It's official!

So apparently Justin Harrell is thinking that his career might be over. If that is the case, might he be THE WORST first round draft pick in Packers history? I mean, we're talking Tony Mandarich bust-worthiness here. Just when Ted Thompson was beginning to earn a smiggen of approval from me due to his selections in this previous spring's draft, Mr. Harrell again goes on the injured list followed by the latest news that it might be career ending. Now to reiterate what I have already been over in previous years, I have nothing against Justin himself. The fact is that this guy hardly played in college and wasn't projected by anyone as 1st round worthy mainly due to his injury riddled college "career", yet Ted thought he was going to be smarter than everyone else (shocking) and drafted Harrell thinking that he was going to be a steal because he was simply overlooked due to his injury history. Oh how wrong he was. It looks like Harrell's phat contract got the Pack 34 total tackles......and I doubt if these were all solo. I don't know why I'm posting regarding the issue. I guess I've just had a pent up frustration from the very moment that Harrell's name was announced at the podium and not even Mel Kiper Jr. himself knew what to say (cue in sounds of shuffling papers in the background). So if Harrell truly is done, which pick was worse....Justin Harrell or Tony Mandarich?

FSWisconsin Sucks

I know I've talked about this before, but they blow. I know a few of us talked about this the other day. You would think that they would be getting better as they do this more but they don't. Lucky for me I don't have to watch too many games on television. The shenanigans tonight that cause this mobile post from a bar included a graphic saying that Escobar was batting .000 when previewing the next inning and the stupid in game box score thing. There were 0 outs and Counsell hit into a double play with Escobar moving to 3rd. The dumbasses put up 3 outs and the middle of the 3rd graphic. They did this as they showed Escobar STANDING on third! Ugh. I'm just speechless (well obviously not since I've spent the last 5 minutes or so typing this post on my iPhone).

Get a clue FSWisconsin. This isn't an isolated incident.

Checking In.

Consider this your post-D3 wedding extravaganza roll call:

Everybody OK?

I saw Reid yesterday, and, while hobbled, he looked a'ight, all things considered. Rumor has it that Va Jay Jay loosed his tummy on Reid's new carpet. E$ may or may not be awaiting extradition from Ohio. The rest of yous, I dunno.

It's gonna be a slow day, I expect (though I imagine E might have an update on Marquette's newest recruit). So, since we haven't checked in with Toddles in a while, I'll leave you with your Welter Monday Morning [Sic]:

Do Not Be Like This Idiot Cubs Fans

That sentence needs one of two things: (1) a comma, or (2) to lose that last "s". Nice editing, dipshit.

MU Update!!!!

Todd Rosiak is reporting that Marquette recently received a committment for the '10-'11 class from Jamail Jones of Georgia. According to TR, Jamail is a 6'6" wing player that is projecting to play shooting guard at MU. Buzz continues to keep his word that his goal is to have a team that is not only deep in size and athleticism, but also deep in talent. On paper this looks like another great get by coach Williams. Not only is Jamail a highly ranked prospect (Rivals: 4 star, and 61 overall ; ESPN: 64 overall), but he also appears to be a good student (3.0 gpa ; 1300's on SAT's). With this committment, MU appears to be out of scholarships for that class which should all but rule out the possibility of receiving a committment from Vander Blue.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

We're coming to you LIVE backstage from D3's wedding. It's hot, we're sweaty, and D3 has only minutes to make a break for it. Stay tuned.

Friday, August 14, 2009

So: Pitino - Part II

First, Mbao has been cleared by the NCAA which is terrific news since he had all sorts of eligibility issues. Sure wish they'd just clear Junior Caudugan so we can get everybody in before school starts.

Apparently, Slick Rick's mistress is speaking publicly now and offers a bunch of new tidbits of info.

(1) The sex happened on a table, not a booth as previously reported.

(2) She is saying Pitino sexually assaulted her (because yeah he just wanted to have another drink with you after the owner tossed him the keys to lock up before they left.)

(3) Pitino forced/threatened her into having an abortion and gave her the $3k, the money wasn't for health insurance or for an abortion at her request. "I'll never forget. I wanted to have the baby, but Rick said my children would all be in concrete. I lived in fear for five years," she said. Holy this NJ or Kentucky. He must have had Jay Wright on speed dial it you are making those sort of threats.

(4) She believes that Pitino was behind the marriage of her and the equipment trainer to get her off his back...yeah marrying the equipment manager of your college basketball team who you see everyday will get her off his back. Maybe you should have set her up with Jay Wright's equipment manager.

(5) Oh and there's an ultrasound picture of the baby that was shown to the NY Post reporter, "This is all I have of the baby."

Wow! They should make this into a Hollywood movie.

Al Pacino as "Slick" Rick Pitino
Goldie Hawn as Karen "The Victim" Cunagin Sypher

former MU assistant Jason Rabedeaux as Tim "The Pawn" Sypher

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Random Funny Items

A couple of random things have made me laugh the past couple of days:

1. Rubie's Grade A text from last night regarding Pitino and the Crew's imploding season

2. Orson Swindle calling Bill Simmons a pussy on the EDSBS live show last night. That whole thing was high comedy. Nothing like a bunch of drunk Cajuns calling into the internet to rant and rave.

3. Top 10 Big (11) Football Games of 2008 - soooo, the BTN has to fill up a lot of dead air in the summer so they produced a 1/2 hour show on the Top 10 games from 2008 in the Big 11. #9 was none other than Wisconsin-Caly Poly. Nothing like needing two missed PATs to get into overtime versus a D-1AA opponent and then another missed PAT to win in OT.

4. Watching old SEC games on CSTV today. They broke away from the 2004 Tennessee-Notre Dame for an update from Tim Brando on the Arkansas-South Carolina game. Quote from Brando: "For some reason, Matt Jones threw into triple coverage, leading to an interception that ended the Hogs' comeback bid." Um, Tim, hindsight provides a very good reason: cocaine, lots and lots of cocaine.

5. Uncle Rico at Walter's on Tuesday. This dude was rocking feathered hair, sideburns, a fu manchu, a highligher yellow tank top and cut-off jean shorts. He also played Boston and Van Halen on the jukebox.

So: Pitino.

Fellas, I'm at a loss on this one. Every time I think the story can't get any more ridiculous, another detail comes out and I start shaking my head all over again.

I mean, you chose one thing from this list and tell me it's any more preposterous than the next one:

(1) Pitino shacks up with the woman in a swanky Louisville restaurant after the place has closed for the night, like he's freakin' Shane Falco in The Replacements.

(2) The woman contacts him two weeks later, says she needs to have an abortion but doesn't have the health insurance to pay for it, and Pitino forks over $3000 to foot the bill.

(3) The woman eventually marries Louisville's equipment manager. (Have you face-palmed yet?)

(4) The equipment manager submits a list of the woman's demands (ala George Bluth in Arrested Development: "These ... are my demands"), including $3000 per month (not for more abortions, presumably), two cars, and college tuition for her kids. Said demands lead to ...

(5) The woman being indicted by the Federalis for trying to extort Pitino.

(6) Pitino makes a public apology for his "indiscretion," and, for some reason, finds it necessary to reference 9/11 in the speech.

I mean: holy fuck. This thing reads like a three-episode arc of Mad Men. Say what you will about Crean (and I have said and will continue to say plenty): I don't think he's capable of something like this. (Though: Crean probably isn't the most alluring candidate to a woman looking to hook up with a basketball coach. I don't know that many women would be aroused by a man pacing furiously back and forth, clapping his hands and screaming: "Let's go! Let's go! LET'S GO!", which is how I imagine Tan Tommy performs in the bedroom.)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


So, um ... apparently Doug Melvin has pulled a Milton in Office Space: on the heels of the 13-6 dismantling by the last-place Padres, Doug has decided to burn the whole fuckin' thing to the ground. Castro: fired. Hardy: optioned to Nashville. Hall: DFA'ed.

I just don't see any logic in these moves, especially Hardy. How does sending J.J. down improve the team in the short run, or help us in the long run? Technically, we're still in the Wild Card hunt ... and now we're running a rookie shortstop out there? And Melvin's effectively killed J.J.'s value on the off-season trade market.

As for Hall: no one's sorry to see him go, of course, but: why now? Why, two weeks after he accepted a demotion to AAA to work on his swing, and the night after he hits his first homer in forever, is he getting gassed?

Somebody help me figure this out.


Is it me or is there a new plunking incident every week in the Majors this year? Maybe it just seems that way because of all the incidents with the Brewers this year with Fielder/Mota, Karsten/Braun, etc. Take a look at this clip from the Red Sox game last night.

Cabera got hit two nights ago and then Youkilis got hit right after that. Then it looks like Porcello threw at Victor Martinez (and missed) in the first inning last night. Cabera got hit in the top of the 2nd on a check swing on the hands (clearly not intentional). First pitch of the bottom of the second and Youkilis gets hit again in the middle of the back and charges the mound. The Red Sox own announcer said it looked like the ball got away from him and the MLB Network guys said the same thing that Youkilis shouldn't have charged the mound and Porcello shouldn't have gotten tossed. Looked like a purpose pitch to me. Thoughts on this plunking and others from this year.

Anthony Witrado Still Doesn't Get It.

Anthony Witrado answered questions in a JSOnline chat today, and, as you'd expect, he wasn't too keen to talk about his brush with glory last week, when he went on ESPN to give his eyewitness account of an event that he didn't actually see -- Prince Fielder trying to confront Gas Can Bill Mota in the Dodgers' clubhouse. Tony was much more interested in discussing the David Weathers trade, and why Jason Kendall is still playing, and why YoGa doesn't hit sixth when he's pitching.

He did take a couple questions on the subject, though -- and his answers probably didn't help his cause any.

Queries Brad from Oshkosh:
Have you talked to prince since criticising him on National television and if so did he have to be held back?

Responds Tony:

Prince is fine, we laughed about what he did the next day. It's funny that only people in Milwaukee seem to think I was "cricising" Fielder on TV.

That's probably Strike One, right there -- [sic]ing the guy's misspelling of "criticize." (Though: who knows? Brad from Oshkosh might be a transplanted Brit.) When one of the criticisms leveled against you is that you're an arrogant, condescending douchebag, [sic]ing a misspelling in a freaking Internet chat isn't going to win anyone to your side.

(Note: I, m'self, don't much care about Witrado's condescending douchebagginess ((no way in hell that's a word)) since I, m'self, am a condescending douchebag, and I, m'self, enjoy a good [sic] every now and again. That said: when you're gonna [sic] someone, you should probably make sure that you accurately quote his misspelling, and don't write "cricising" when he said "criticising." Now, you've ended up [sic]ing somebody else's [sic], and nobody's happy when there's [sic] all over the place.)

Anyway, let's continue with Tony's response to Brad:

I've pointed out on more than once

... [siccccccc] ...

that the Dodgers were wrong for throwing at him and that there was no indication that the Brewers threw at Ramirez. I've also said it was dead wrong for Fielder to go to the other clubhouse, just as his manager and GM and owner have said. People are going to believe what they believe, but I was asked to give an opinion and I gave one, one that is shared by almost everyone I've talked to who isn't a Brewers fan and even some of them.

And there's Strike Two. The problem most fans had with Anthony's appearance on ESPN, as I understand it, stemmed from the fact that, at the outset of the interview, he wasn't asked for his opinion -- he was asked what happened when Prince went to the Dodgers' clubhouse. And, instead of saying: "Well, I can't tell you exactly what happened, because I wasn't there, but this is what I've heard," he started prattling on like he had witnessed the whole thing himself. The fact that Witrado may have exaggerated some of the details of the event he didn't actually see -- and exaggerated them to make the Brewers look bad -- probably doesn't help, either.

(Note 2: I know that some folks have a problem with what Anthony said about Prince's personality -- at one point, Witrado referred to Prince as "a ticking time bomb." Again: I don't much care about this. Is that over-the-top? Sure. Did Anthony look and sound like he was auditioning for J.A. Adande's seat on Around the Horn when he said that? No doubt. Was it a curious choice of words when he's going to have to interview the "ticking time bomb" for the rest of the year? Indubitably. But: he was asked for his opinion of Prince's personality. He gave it. Hard to fault him for that.)

Prince and I have a good relationship, actually, probably about the best he has with any media member in this city and I'm proud of that because he can be a tough guy to get at. However, I'm not going to give an opinion I don't believe just because I think it'll stop hate mail and people telling me to go back to Mexico or be fired.

I don't know that I saw anyone attacking Witrado because of his ethnicity, but I stopped reading the mouth-breather fest that is the JSOnline comments a long, long time ago, so I can neither confirm nor deny.

In the economic climate and state of the newspaper business (The JS was recently forced to cut several jobs and friends of mine are now unemployed), I think it is in absolute poor taste to wish something like that on someone. So, no, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. I think Fielder was wrong for trying to get into the clubhouse and no one cussing me out or saying I only said that because it happened against the Dodgers is going to change my mind on that.

Annnnd Strike Three. The other thing that aggravated most Brewer fans (again, as best I can tell) is that Witrado was sent to cover the L.A. - Milwaukee series when he had publicly proclaimed himself to be a dyed-in-the-wool Dodgers' fan. This isn't necessarily all that big of a deal -- after all, it stands to reason that most baseball writers followed a specific team growing up, and that the prejudices engendered by following a specific team in one's youth are hard to bury completely -- but still: it seems kind of odd to send Anthony to cover the L.A. series when the Journal could have dispatched Haudricourt and avoided the question entirely. ANYWAY, at the very least, it's a legitimate question, and one that merits more of a response than Witrado poo-pooing it by lumping it in with fans "cussing [him] out" for his ESPN antics.

Witrado elaborated, a bit, on this part later in the chat:

Some fans do know what they are talking about, no doubt about it. But there are others who have on blinders and just want to criticize because their local writer might not be a cheerleader. Maybe the worst thing I could have done was admit that I'm a baseball fan/junkie, because now people want to throw that in my face.

And, again: that kind of misses the point. I don't think anybody's upset that Tony is a baseball fan. What's upset people is that Tony is a huge fan of one team, and was sent to report -- not to give opinions -- on a series involving that team. I mean, the Journal, quite sensibly, wouldn't ask for me to give a report on last night's debacle against the Padres -- not only because (1) they can't print the F-word and (2) my reporting would consist of me taking a shit, putting it between two slices of Wonder bread, and stapling a note to the sammwich that read: "A visual representation of the Brewers pitching staff," but (primarily) because I'm a fan of the team, and that would color any attempt to give an objective report on the Brewers. I know Anthony's of the opinion that he can take off his "fan" hat and put on his "reporter" hat at will, but, at the least, you should probably acknowledge the perception of a conflict of interest there.

To wrap up what's already a post that no one will read:

Tony: Made a mistake. Still kind of a douchebag. Doesn't understand what got people so riled up.

The Journal: Made a mistake. (Also: dying.)

Rubie: A clinically-depressed fecalpheliac on Prozac.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Ask and you shall receive...

However, it only seems fair that we put the new logo picture to a vote:


Bonus Video for Everyone:

A+ Parenting

Nothing says good parenting like living vicariously through your children to the point that you risk their careers for the sake of a middle school baseball championship.

NY Times Magazine Link

"About a dozen years ago (Dr. James) Andrews noticed a trend — the number of teenage patients seeing him for shoulder and elbow injuries had begun to rise. In 2001 and 2002, he performed a total of 13 shoulder operations on teenagers. Over the next six years, he did 241 such operations. The surge in the number of Tommy John elbow operations was every bit as drastic: 9 from 1995 to 1998, 65 over the next four years, 224 from 2003 to 2008."

Monday, August 10, 2009

Lord Football is back...kind of

So I caught the beginning of the first preseason game of the year last night and this is what happened at the end of the first drive:

Can someone please explain why you use a new fake punt play in your first pre-season game? Wouldn't that have come in handy in the 3rd quarter against the Colts in a game that actually counts? Don't worry Jeff Fischer, I doubt special teams coaches even watch pre-season games as part of their scouting reports.

Also, apparently the two donkey's we have in camp as punters are nothing to write home about why don't we sign this guy (Craig Hentrich is their punter). We could use him in an end around play at some point in the season.

Mental Weakness vs. 'Shit Happens.'

Yesterday, the Brewers got shut out in a day game. This marks the third time the Brewers have been held scoreless during a day game this season, and runs the Crew's record to 13-23 in day games (including 13 losses in the last 16 day games).

At some point, it seems to me, this adds up to more than coincidence, more than just "shit happens." In fact, the Brewers seem to hit a road block like this every year:

In 2007, the Crew was superb at home (51-30) but couldn't buy a win on the road (32-49). The '07 Brewers also spiraled out of control in August, face-planting with two 5-game losing streaks and a 4-game losing streak in the month. (It hurt just to type that. Bad times.)

Last year's team got over the August hump, but then forgot how to win in September, starting the month with four straight losses (and then losing five in a row in the middle of the month) before finishing 6-1 over the final seven games.

And now, this year, come the Day Game Blues.

I just don't get it. Is this evidence of mental weakness? Is it possible for an entire team to be mentally weak? What the hell does that phrase ("mental weakness") even mean? Does it even apply here? Do other teams have annual bugaboos like this, too? Can the Twins not hit lefties? Do the White Sox struggle whenever Danks starts? (Please note: these are hypotheticals I'm pulling out of my ass; I've done no research whatsoever. That said: if the Twins and Sox have a problem ala the Brewers' day game malaise, I'd like to hear about it.)

I have no answers this morning, only questions.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Carl Pavano Dealt

So, he's good enough for Minnesota but not good enough for us? Ok, so I may just be feigning indignancy here, but I was curious about the possibility of acquiring Pavano. He's a semi-competent starter, which would be an improvement over at least 60% of Milwaukee's current rotation. I don't know what the Twins gave up, but I'm guessing it wasn't much. Blue chip prospects generally don't just slide through waivers unnoticed. Hell, Tampa claimed RJ Swindle and his 16+ ERA today.

It is interesting to see that the waiver wire deals are starting to go down. I don't maintain any delusions about the eventual outcome of this season for the Brewers, but I do think it will be interesting to see if they feel compelled to pull off some minor, post-deadline deal. You know, just to keep the illusion alive.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Tom Haudricourt Hates You, And So Do I.

While Anthony Witrado was busily "reporting" on the Fielder-Mota Incident (if, by "reporting," you mean: "publicly trashing Prince and the rest of the team, even though he wasn't there to actually, you know, see the attempt to get into the clubhouse"), Tom Haudricourt was back in Milwaukee doing what he loves most: answering questions from fans in a JSOnline Chat.

The thing is an absolutely delightful read; you can picture Tom angrily pecking away at the keyboard with one hand while flipping off the screen with the other.

In fact, based on his responses, it seems that I might have a kindred spirit in Tom Haudricourt: we're both gloomy, angry, and we really don't like stupid people.

Let's Rubie-fy some of Tom's answers, shall we? We'll call this: "What Tom Wishes He Could Have Written":

Q: Kris, Madison, WI - Hi Tom, I thought the original estimate was for Ben Sheets to be healthy by the All-Star break. Any word on his health (I would imagine not good), or why no teams have explored adding him? Thank you!

A: Shit-for-Brains: do you really think that if a pitcher like Ben Sheets was ready to return to baseball, teams would have been trying to trade for pitchers like Brian Bannister or Kevin Corereiraia?

Q: Fz of UG, Union Grove, Wi - Is the Escobar that plays SS for the Atlanta Braves and the Brewers Escobar in triple A related?

A: Of course they are. I mean, it's not like "Escobar" is a common surname or anything. Oh, wait -- yes. Yes, yes it is. In fact, it's a very common surname, you ignorant, racist fuck. Seriously -- would you ask if two people with the last name "Smith" were related?

Q: JTChiguy, Chicago Il - At what point in the season do you think the Brewers will determine they are out of it? Do you think they will put any players with big contracts on the waiver wire to try and get a team to pick up a big contract or possibly trade them? Suppan, Cameron, Kendall, etc.

A: I ask this in all earnestness, "JTChiguy": do you take Dipshit pills in the morning? What team, in this or any other dimension, would put in a waiver claim for Jeff Suppan? For fuck's sake, queef-stain, this isn't a game of Old Maid; you don't put a guy like Suppan on waivers, wait for another team to absent-mindedly claim him, and then say: "Ha! Fucker! Gotcha! We're gonna let you take him!" The Brewers are stuck with Suppan for the next year and two months. THIS. IS NOT. GOING. TO CHANGE.

Q: jar399 - I was shocked at how dramatically better Villenueva's ERA is on the road. Any chance Macha will platoon him in the 5 hole and have him pitch road games only?

A: Enjoying your time off, Ned? This was a mind-blowingly dumb idea when you tried it last season with McDouche and Bush, and it's even stupider now (if that's even possible).

Q: Dave, Columbia MD. - Tom, I can't for the life of me understand why the Brewers never gave Tony Gwynn Jr. a chance. I know he was injured somewhat, but a solid hitter number 2 hitter. We get one more year out of the "strike out" king Mike Cameron and than what?

A: Dave, I can't for the life of me figure out how someone as dumb as you manages not to walk into oncoming traffic three times a day. Jesus, man -- you don't even know where Gwynn hits in the line-up. And as for the "'strike out' king": he has a higher OBP than Your Lord and Saviour, and his OPS is about 90 points higher. In closing: I hate you.

This edition of "TV Talk"

Due to the Crew's recent slide of late and their subsequent transformation into a WWE-like culture (that's the most entertainment they've given me in a month), I've caught a little bit of the July/August blues. The sports world in the beautiful state of Wisconsin is an absolute still life (Again thank you Prince for spicing that up for a brief moment.) So with the recent turning of the calendar we at least get a slight sports "stimulu"s with the start of Green Bay Packer training camp. Hoping to keep this short (I know, strange isn't it), I will save our season expectations discussion for a later day. HOWEVER, the Packer rumor mill has been gaining momentum of late due to Ted Thompson's quasi indication that the Packers haven't ruled out making an offer to Michael Vick. In fact, when exiting a recent Q&A with reporters, Thompson walked out of the press room with a boom box on his shoulders that was playing "Who Let the Dogs Out?". That didn't really happen.....I just wanted to see if ya'all were still paying attention.

So what does everybody think of this? Good move? Bad move? Initially I was completely against it. I personally don't think that he is going to be anywhere near as effective as he was when he became the first QB to walk into Green Bay in the playoffs and come out with a victory. Further, how would we use him? We already have a good QB, great receiving corps, and solid running backs. And how would the Green Bay community take the signing of a player with his criminal history. It all seems a bit unreasonable and a bit hypocritical considering TT wouldn't consider signing the likes of TO and Randy Moss.

This move made absolutely no sense to me until the light bulb finally went off. If there's one thing that I (we) all know about Ted Thompson, it's that he LOVES the draft. I mean, face it, we all do. Knowing that and trying to understand this move, it became a little bit more clear. At this point, Michael Vick is a risk......but by NFL standards, what he will likely receive in compensation now will be substantially less than what he was making before he went to the state pen. That being said, if Vick comes back and shows that he still "has it", his trade value could be outstanding! We're talking multiple high picks here. So if this the angle that Thompson is taking, I'm all for it. We've got money to spend, so I would be willing to gamble a few million on a short term (1-2) deal, in hopes that he can still be a dangerous weapon and possible trade bait for the near future.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Hey, moron?

Yeah, you -- Bill Mota. You and that lunkhead catcher of yours, Russell J. Martin.

Just how fucking dumb are you?

For a moment, I'm going to overlook the fact that your purported justification for drilling Prince in the ninth inning of a thirteen-run blowout is that Chris Smith hit Manny Ramirez earlier in the game. Y'all probably don't watch a lot of Brewers games out in L.A., so you don't know how shitty Chris Smith is, and how, if he tried to intentionally hit a batter, he'd probably miss. Point is: it's highly probable that Manny's HBP wasn't the least bit intentional.

But, again: I'll overlook that. What gets me, Bill -- and what led me to ask just how fucking dumb you are -- is that you chose to retaliate against Prince.

Dipshit: you were on the team last year. You should know that, when the Big Fella gets pissed, he's prone to go off in spectacular fashion -- or perhaps you forgot this:

Remember that? When Prince tried to kill his own fucking teammate? I know you were in the bullpen and all, and that the bullpen is its own little world, but surely somebody mentioned this in the clubhouse after the game, or you read about it in the paper, or you saw a clip of it on SportsCenter. It was kind of a big deal.

So: that's the guy you're going to throw at? Really? Why poke the bear, especially when the bear is hot and cranky and hasn't eaten in four hours?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Old Spice Tourney...

Creighton/Michigan - 11 am on Thanksgiving
Marquette/Xavier - @1:30 pm on Thanksgiving, second game on Friday 11 am if win, 1:30 if lose

Alabama/Baylor - 5:30 pm on Thanksgiving
Florida St/Iona - 8 pm

Interesting draw and would be a good match-up in the second game regardless. Interesting note that the Packers and Lions kick off at 11:30 on Thanksgiving as well so for us Packer fans we'll be switching between games but I guess its even worse for the Michigan/Lion fans.

Lazar on the D-List

I just caught the very end of Lazar Hayward's interview on local radio fave "The D-List", and he had some interesting things to say. They asked him about what the open gyms have been like this summer. He responded that he thought the open gyms would drop off a little in intensity this year because the guys coming in were so young and they wouldn't know what it was all about. HOWEVAH... It turns out he was pleasantly surprised by the intensity and the work ethic that each of the new guys has already brought to the table. He then went on to point out that the guy he's been most impressed with thus far is Dwight Buycks. He said (and I'm paraphrasing here) that if he had to pick one of the new guys that's going to be a major contriubtor this year, it's Dwight Buycks. Obviously that doesn't mean all that much, given that it's only August 4th, but it's still interesting to hear what your senior leader/best returning player has to say about the new guys coming into the program. And it's an interesting topic to kick around: Which MU newcomer do you think will have the biggest impact this season?

Plus, with the Brewers recent slide and my ever diminishing interest in football... when is Midnight Madness again?

Monday, August 3, 2009

Great Moments in "Possess" [Sics].

Saw this line in Jon Heyman's latest post about players who could be traded in the next month:

1. Jon Garland, Diamondbacks pitcher: ... Possesses [sic] of rubber arm, completed game vs. Mets Sunday night (yes, that still counts).

... which, of course, reminded me of my favorite "possess" typo, this dandy from Simon's Quest: