Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A Budding Rubius Qubotsky:

(That's my full [fake] name. What, you thought 'Rubie Q' was a take on Ruben Quevedo? You idiot.)

Via Deadspin, here's a clip of an agitated youngster losing his shit at the Little League World Series:



If you don't think a young Rubie Q (mind you, a young Rubie Q who was much better at baseball than the real young Rubie Q) wouldn't melt down and request permission to drill the next hitter after giving up the go-ahead run in the last inning of a LLWS game ... then you don't know me very well.

(True story: I was a semi-competent pitcher in Little League, primarily because I could throw strikes. I couldn't throw a curve -- and still can't -- and I couldn't throw a change-up, but I could pump fastballs down the heart of the plate all game long. Well, one game, the home plate umpire was squeezing me on the strike zone. The guy was a real douchefuck; if memory serves, he owned the pharmacy in town and thought he was very important -- and, when he was umping, he had this annoying habit of calling balls and strikes before the damn ball even got to the catcher's mitt. Anyway, in this particular game, it was around the third inning, and it's hot, and I'm doing my nothin'-but-fastballs routine, and the jackass won't call anything on the outer edge. I'm getting grumpy. I throw another fastball on the black. As it's crossing the plate, douchefuck -- as was his custom -- starts to say "STRRRRIIIIIIIIKE" -- except he stops halfway through, changes his mind, and announces: "Nope. Ball."

(I'd had it. I did the Jesus At The Last Supper Big Arms [that's a long clip, but it's the only one I could find -- you want to go to the 2:20 minute mark] and yelled: "Oh, come on!" Douchefuck didn't appreciate this, so he turns to the dugout and says to my coach [himself a real douchefuck, too]: "Coach, tell your pitcher to settle down, or I'll throw him outta the game." Now I'm steamin'. Coach saunters out to the mound, puts his hand on my shoulder, calls the catcher over and says to him: "Kyle, maybe you should duck on the next pitch." In hindsight, it was pretty funny, but I was righteously pissed when Kyle didn't actually duck on the next pitch.

(Anyhow, that story really didn't have a point, except to confirm what you already knew: I'm probably the worst sport ever.)

3 comments:

Rubie Q said...

While this tidbit doesn't fit in this post, it also doesn't merit its own post, so, apropos of nothing:

With his home run last night, Jody Gerut is now outslugging Tony Gwynn Jr. for the season, .346 to .345.

Ha.

Devil's Threesome said...

But Jody Gerut is NOT A SPARKPLUG like Tony Gwynn Our Lord & Savior.

Rubie Q said...

Oh, also: TGJ has six steals on the year. Gerut has four, and he's primarily been a pinch hitter for the last three months.