Wednesday, September 16, 2009

D3's Top 25 Picks of the Week for Gambling Degnerates Too Lazy to Do Their Own Research

Here's another potentially weekly feature - D3's Top 25 picks of the week for gambling degnerates too lazy to do their own research. The teams highlighted in bold are my picks. As always, this is for entertainment purposes only.

14 Georgia Tech @ 20 Miami (-4.5) - GT has won four straight against da U and owned them in a Thursday night tilt last year by rolling up 400+ yards rushing. Miami had 10 days to prep for Tech's option attack, but the Canes D also gave up boatloads of yards and points to FSU on Labor Day. Tech hasn't looked especially sharp this year, but Miami hasn't looked especially sharp for the past 6 years.

10 Boise St (-7.5) @ Fresno St. - This is a meh-tastic game masquerading as an important tilt. Fresno coughed up a win over an ailing UW team on Saturday and Boise looked less than stellar against an Oregon bound and determined to get blown out on opening night. Fresno has beaten Boise once this decade. It will be a low scoring affair, so the line scares me a bit, but go with Boise - better coaching, better players and way more recent success.

Tennessee @ 1 Florida (-29.5) - this one is tough to call. UT's defense is damn good, but Jonathan Crompton may gift wrap 21 points for the Gators. It's really bad when your fans provide 5 reasons why a catfish would be a better option at QB.

Texas Tech @ 2 Texas (-17.5) - Damn, these Vegas guys are good. The perfect line. Neither team has been challenged of yet, but Tech's QB hasn't played a road game yet. Unseasoned QB on the road vs. D3's man-crush of the year? No contest.

3 USC (-19.5) @ Washington - USC isn't good on the road in the Pac-10, speaking in USC relative terms. Matt Barkley is also questionable for the game. In case no one noticed, UW rolled up over 500 yards on LSU in week 1. Finally, UW's staff has 3 former USC assistants. I'm not saying UW will win, but they will keep it relatively close.

North Texas @ 4 Alabama (-38.5) - An early start in the SEC against a middling opponent. Bama will be looking forward to SEC play next week and hit snooze a few times. UNT has upgraded from gawdfuckingawful overall and abortive on defense to just gawdawful this year.

Temple @ 5 Penn St (-29) - Another week, another tomato can for State Penn. I'm sure the Big 11 network is thrilled for this game. Temple lost to Villanova on a last second Scottie Reynolds jumper and John Chaney is fucking pissed off. The first sports mix-up of the article, but seriously, they lost to fucking Villanova (proud alma mater of Sal Paolantonio's injury report wet dream, Brian Westbrook)

SE Louisiana @ 6 Mississippi (NL) - One of two D-1AA opponents for Ole Miss this year. I still expect them to face plant in SEC season, but that will have to wait for another day. In the meantime, try to look up (or down) some sun dresses in Oxford

Florida St @ 7 BYU (-7.5) - In 59 minutes, FSU scored 9 points on Jacksonville State. This is BYU's biggest home game since:

8 California (-14) @ Minnesota - I believe I'll regret this one, but Cal is always flakey. They have to trek half-way across the country for this one and will struggle. The Goofs bottled up a pretty potent Air Force attack last week. Cal wins a rock fight, but it'll be close.

Louisiana-Lafayette @ 9 LSU (-26.5) - LSU is kind of listless right now. They gave up a ton of yards at UW and slogged their way to a win against Vandy last week. UL-L beaten a fucking downright awful Kansas State (heretofore known as K-Suck) last week.
11 Ohio St (-20.5) vs. Toledo (in Cleveland) - Can Ohio St score 40 points? The thought of scoring 40 points makes Captain Sweatervest pucker up tighter than Cameron Frye. Toledo tallied 54 against Colorado and 31 against Purdue.

Tulsa @ 12 Oklahoma (-17) - Can OU's Landry Jones not looked like the scared pup he was against BYU? It may not matter. OU's D is awesome and will neutralize a potent Tulsa attack that always struggles against high major foes.

19 Nebraska @ 13 Virginia Tech (-4) - Homer pick alert! Watching Tyrod Taylor throw is special ed level comedy (famous last words). Tech's one dimensional offense won't get the job done in Blacksburg as long as Zac Lee doesn't shit the bed. I can't wait for this game, it's a huge measuring stick for my Huskers.

Texas St @ TCU (NL) - This may be a step up in competition after last week's trip to Virginia.

Rice @ 16 Oklahoma St (-32.5) - Angry, angry OSU team meets bad, bad Rice team. Carnage ensues and T. Boone Pickens eats the Owls carcass after the game.

17 Cincinnati @ Oregon St (-1) - This is a fun, fun game for a college football dork like myself. Two under the radar teams, intersectional matchup. UC rolled OSU a couple of years ago at daunting (ha!) Nippert Stadium. I was impressed as hell with UC against Rutgers, while OSU blew a late lead and then needed a FG to win at UNLV last week. For those scoring at home, that sounds at lot like a Wisconsin performance, so it's Cincy all the way.

18 Utah @ Oregon (-4.5) - Another intriguing matchup. Both teams have struggled this year. Oregon needed two garbage fumble returns for TDs plus a late missed 2 pt conversion to sneak by Purdue. Utah had 7 points into the 4th quarter against San Jose St. Rock fight alert! Utah wins this game outright, at which point the national media will get on on their jock unjustifiably.

Duke @ 22 Kansas (-22) - How dare you disrespect Coach K as a 22 point dog? Duke lost to Richmond, Kansas is good, it's in Lawrence. This is the easiest pick of the day. KU will roll the Dukies.

23 Georgia @ Arkansas (-1) - We don't know anything about Arkansas yet, but we do know that UGA could only muster 10 points at Okie State, then, somehow gave up 37, at home, to South Carolina. That's bad, really fucking bad. The Hawgs could get a double digit win here.

East Carolina @ 24 North Carolina (-7.5) - UNC needed a holding call in the end zone to get to 12 points and beat UConn. UConn isn't bad, but 12 points is atrocious. ECU gave West Virginia a game last week. Also, this is a huge chip on their shoulder game for ECU. For years, UNC and NC State refused to play them. The NC state legislature had to intervene and they've been giving them fits since. Fuck you Minges Coliseum and your crusty Euro-trash players!

Eastern Michigan @ 25 Michigan (-24) - Letdown alert! After all the media stroking this week, Michigan is bound to let down a bit. Eastern took Northwestern to the final minutes last week and will give Mythigan a mildish scare this week. Still, don't watch this game, it will be of no redeeming value to you.

There you have it folks, my marathon Week 3 picks. Maybe we'll do it again next week.


Master Reid said...

Place your bets, place your bets!

Rubie Q said...

I really wanted to go to Minneapolis to see the Gophs take on Cal. Alas.

Did you really pick East Carolina over UNC?

Devil's Threesome said...

I sure did take ECU over UNC. ECU has been a solid program since Skip Holtz took over. UNC lost all their receivers from a mediocre 2008 squad and have been fairly underwhelming this year on the offensive side of the ball. The couldn't rack up 400 yards on The Citadel and only tallied 268 yards against UConn, who lost a ton of seniors from 2008. UNC will also be w/o their starting center and tight end. I won't even mention the ACC's overall craptasticness. UNC's win over UConn is the conference's signature win thus far.

Deedub said...

Damn right the Huskers are gonna win that game!