Tuesday, September 8, 2009

He's Baaaaack.

Yes, yes -- back in the MKE after a week of elephants, sharks, wine and bridges. Let's have a hand for FPMKE for holding this bitch together -- and for getting The Most Famous Commenter We've Ever Had to post a comment on the blog -- whilst I was out West. Slow clap, indeed.

Now, back to the business at hand:

Having spent a few days in San Diego, I can conclusively report that the city has been overrun by Tony Gwynn, Jr. jerseys. You can't walk a city block without running into at least a dozen people rocking navy blue (or "sand," which -- no shit -- is the official color of the Pads' road jerseys) No. 18 jersey tees. The city is fairly polluted with them.

Which is to say: I didn't see a single fucking one the entire time I was there. The fact that he's currently rocking a .258/.334/.328 (yowza!) line -- and has gone .234/.308/.278 since Tom Friend wrote that Ode To Ant'ny piece of uber-shit on June 30. (And, just for poops and giggles, Jody Gerut since June 30: .247/.317/.397.)

In other news:

Corey Patterson is up in the show, eh? I have to disagree with FPMKE here: there's no point in calling Co-Pat up. He's terrible. He's incontrovertibly, absolutely, hideously, mind-bogglingly, soul-crushingly terrible. Because I can't come up with any more adverbs, I'll leave you with this stat: in his 8 games this season (5 with Washington, 3 with the Crew), Patterson has somehow compiled an OPS+ of -44. That's not a typo -- the dude is sporting a negative OPS+ for the year. These are sub-human levels of baseball, friends.

Oh, and Ken? Ken? I'm sorry, maybe I should call you by a more familiar name -- the White Dusty Baker. How's that? Seems appropriate, doesn't it, after Macha saw fit to bat Patterson lead-off yesterday? Yep, the guy with the career .290 OBP (in ten seasons, no less) is setting the table. With each passing day, I grow more and more convinced that Macha won't be back next season.

Mrs. Q and I also spent some time in San Francisco, and, although we couldn't make it to an A's game (or to see Cal beat the piss out of Maryland) since the Bay Bridge (a.k.a.'ed as "The One That's Not The Golden Gate Bridge") is apparently falling the fuck apart and was closed for repairs, it warmed my heart to learn that Bill Hall took the oversized sombrero against the A's Saturday night: five ABs, 0 H, 0 BB, 5 K. A change of scenery really helped there, eh, douche-swizzler?

Finally: at the rate these hits keep coming, we might have to make a daily "Badgers vs. The Law" feature: Diamond Taylor, gettin' his Ikegwuonu on. So, running tally:

The Law: 2 (since the walk-on got pinched, too)

Badgers: 0.

I'd make a joke about Bo vowing "not to recruit any more of those colored folks," but I'm still feeling sensitive from my stay by the Bay.


tystick said...

i don't think the bay bridge is ever not falling the fuck apart.

FPMKE said...

Wow, that was quite the airing of grievances. Welcome back...

Rubie Q said...

Somebody got the Seinfeld reference. Kick ass.

Nicole said...

So does that mean we just call Macha WBD from here on out? Also, though I agree Macha's well down that path, he has yet to make someone's arm fall off, make them pitch after a rain delay or generally come close to ruining a career on par with Dusty and Mark Prior, so I'm not sure if Macha has earned his Dusty Baker stripes yet.

Rubie Q said...

You better hope like hell you didn't just jinx Gallardo, Nicole. And hasn't Coffey pitched after rain delays twice the year?

FPMKE said...

Two new commentors... wow. Look at all of the street cred I created while Rubie was out of town.