Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Red Recap

Nebraska Cornhuskers
Last Week’s Opponent: Virginia Tech – a living, breathing football team (on defense at least)

Last Week’s Result: 16-15 gut-punch fucking loss. Ok, I’m getting fucking angry again. Four FGs in the first half. The Huskers had 1st & goal inside the 5 on two occasions and scored 3 points. One of those drives ended in a 4th and goal punt! The other drive stalled after this set of plays: option-incomplete pass-incomplete pass. Roy Helu, Jr was gouging the Hokies with straight ahead running and NU refused to run him inside the 5. Why? I’ve backed off my initial stance calling for offensive coordinator Shawn Watson to take an acid bath. That has been downgraded to waterboarding.

This Week’s Opponent: Louisiana-Lafayette – the embarrassing tour of the Sun Belt continues. UL-L is fairly solid this year. They beat Kansas St and hung fairly tight with LSU last week in Baton Rouge. This game is Nebraska’s 300th straight sellout and the Huskers will be wearing throwback uniforms. The dude on the left is Ndamukong Suh and you are best not to piss him off, lest he do this to you.

This Week’s Predicted Result: 38-13 Husker win. The UL-L defense will keep it closer than some expect, but the Huskers won’t have to sweat it out.

Current Season Outlook: Still partly cloudy while enjoying an early season high pressure system also know as Sun Belt competition. Roadies at Mizzou and suddenly slappy Kansas await.

Predicted Bowl: Alamo

Wisconsin Badgers
Last Week’s Opponent: Wofford

Last Week’s Result: 44-14 win. I can’t comment too much, because I didn’t watch a down of this horrific match-up. Scott Tolzien averaged a pedestrian 8 yards a pass attempt and John Clay impressed with 3 fumbles, a demotion to second string and by sword-swallowing 12 La Bamba burritos after the game.

This Week’s Opponent: Michigan St – MSU comes limping into this game at 1-2 after spitting the bit in Bielema-esque fashion against Central Michigan and Notre Dame. MSU is inventing ways to lose games, it’s like a two-headed monster of Bobby Williams and John L Smith is still coaching there.

They choked up a two score lead in the last 2 minutes at home against CMU. The Chippewas missed a game-winning FG, but got a second chance after Sparty lined up offsides. Then, against ND, MSU tricked a wide open game winning TD pass (5:30 mark) and then got a case of Cromptonitis on the game losing pick.

This Week’s Predicted Result: 27-24 MSU. Michigan St is going to come into Madison with their hair on fire and UW hasn’t faced a worthy opponent yet this year. The crowd won’t be a factor on account of the 11:00 am start.

Current Season Outlook: As discussed last week, some big fucking thunderheads are looming on the horizon. Michigan St, @Minne, @Ohio St and Iowa are the next four opponents. 3-1 is the best possible result, but 0-4 is well within reason.

Predicted Bowl: Insight Bowl – movin’ on up after the big win over Wofford

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