Monday, November 9, 2009

Yosty-ed! The Mike McCarthy Files.

Mike McCarthy's news conference was so mind-bogglingly dumb yesterday that I decided to resurrect our old "Yosty!" schtick to break down two of the comments.

Let's get to it:

"We did not take the team lightly because of the record. I was very concerned coming into this game. Anytime a team is coming off the bye week, if anything we may have overworked them. That's something I've got to look at."

Ignore, for a moment, the absurdity of the "we may have overworked them" line, especially since McCarthy said: "We were not prepared to the level that we should have been" immediately thereafter. Focus, instead, on the "that's something I've got to look at" part of it.

Under the heading of "Things Coach McCarthy Has To Look Into," we now have:
  • The fact that we get flagged seven or eight times a game
  • The quarterback protection
  • The fact that we don't run the ball
  • The breakdowns on special times
  • The price of petroleum
  • Whether Obama was really born in Hawai'i
  • The cause of Michael Jackson's death
  • Whatever the fuck happened with Sammy Sosa's skin
  • Why Ashton Kutcher remains so popular
  • And, now: whether the staff overworked the players this week
He's got a lot on his plate. It's amazing he finds time to coach a football team every week.

On the six sacks allowed by Mssrs. Sieve, Sieve II, Sieve III, Sieve IV, and Sieve V, and Mssr. Holds Onto the Ball Too Fucking Long:

"Well it has to stop. You can't sit here and keep taking sacks. I'm sure you're tired of asking the question. I'm tired of talking about it. That's a reflection of coaching and playing."

He says this like there's a third option, besides the problem being related to coaching or playing. "Well, they're shitty players, which doesn't help, and I'm dumb as fuck, which ain't benefitin' us either, but, really: I blame the Vatican."

Whoever owns I am prepared to offer three Canadian weasels in exchange for the perpetual rights to said domain name. Hook me up.


Master Reid said...

I was also amused during his postgame radio interview with Larry McCarren. Multiple times during that interview, when he said basically the same things quoted here, he began to say "We gotta clean that up," but then caught himself and said "look at" instead.

You are a Baffoon said...

I suggest dynamite in cleaning things up at this point. We are on pace to crush the old sacks given up record that was anchored by that stud Manderich guy back in the early nineties. BRUTAL>