Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Any Way You Spin It, Something's Rotten.

It's been less than 24 hours since the announcement that Jeronne Maymon was leaving Marquette, and, in that time, there's been nary a peep from J-May, from TimMay (which is downright baffling, in my mind, given how much that dude loves to talk), or from Buzz (other than the terse: "We wish him the best" statement that was put out last night). There's been plenty of speculatin', for sure, but nobody -- not Todd Rosiak, not any of the self-labeled "insiders" on the MU message boards, not even E$ -- seems to have any definitive information on what the fuck, exactly, blew up in the last couple days.

Never one to shy away from speculation (it's a Tuesday in December -- what the hell else are we going to talk about?), I thought I'd compile a list of possible situations that led to J-May's departure. Here are the possibilities (presented in no particular order); lemme know if you see others:

* TimMay (TIMMAY!) freaks out after the Madison game, questions why his son isn't starting/playing more, and threatens to take his toy home. And then one of two things happens:

(1) Buzz says, "I ain't changin'," and TimMay makes good on his threat; or
(2) Buzz says, "No one tells me how to run my program," calls TimMay's bluff, and puts out the "We wish him the best in the future" press release.

Why it doesn't make sense: If you believe the report that says that TimMay had no idea there was anything amiss at Marquette, this scenario doesn't work. That said, from what I've read about Tim Maymon, he seems to know what's going on with his kid at all times. He strikes me as the kind of dad who would text his son, then call three minutes later if he didn't get a reply. So: the whole "he loves it there, I didn't know anything was wrong" stuff doesn't make much sense.

Why it would be troubling: Because it took only 10 games for our worst fears about J-May and his fami-lay to come true. Also: because it would confirm all the things Rodent fans were saying about TimMay. And, finally (and probably most importantly): because that's a really shitty thing for a father to do to his 18-year-old son.

* Unbeknownst to TimMay, J-May has a meeting with Buzz, asking why he's not playing more. Buzz chews him out, tells him to work harder in practice and play better defense. J-May pouts and decides he's quitting. And Buzz issues the press release wishing J-May well.

Why it makes more sense than the last scenario: Again, if you believe TimMay, this would solve the problem of Papa Maymon not knowing that there was anything wrong. But, again, based on the family dynamic (at least as it's been presented thus far), it seems like J-May doesn't drop a deuce until he's gotten clearance from Pa.

Why it would be troubling: For many of the same reasons as the first scenario.

* J-May has a Jon Moxon "I DON'T WANT YUR LIIII-FE" moment, tells off his dad, and then tells Buzz: "I gotta be my own man, and I can't do that here."

Why it makes some sense: Because you'd figure something's gotta give eventually.

Why it would be troubling: Because we lost a good player. (But, in the end, I'm pulling for this one. Go spread your wings, little bird.)

* J-May didn't have the grades to qualify for second semester, and he knows that he won't be able to bring them up, now or ever.

Why it doesn't make sense: Because, as our Badger infiltrator pointed out in the last post, people who are (seemingly) a lot dumber than J-May have made it through college. (Christ, look at Moongoose.) And because you'd like to think the kid would at least take a semester to try and work his way through the academic problems.

* Because Bo cast a Voodoo Witch Doctor spell on J-May during the second half of the Madison game.

"I want to leave ... Marquette now. Satan is good. Satan is our pal." "Jeronne -- Jeronne. You're chanting!"

22 comments:

Master Reid said...

I love the amount of Varsity Blues that's been quoted lately, both here and in day to day conversations. Thanks Mack Brown!

Anyways, I don't pretend to know anything about Maymon, his family, his work ethic, his grades, his relationship with Buzz, or any of that, but I really hope this isn't an Odartey Blankson, "Well my (friends/family/"advisors") tell me that I'm way better than coach thinks I am, so fuck you I'm going somewhere else" type of scenario. With that in mind, I'm throwing my support behind the "Bo Ryan Voodoo Witch Doctor" scenario.

JM said...

A word from the "Badger Infiltrator"... I stumbled across this blog during the Brewer season and thoroughly enjoyed the work concerning my #1 Wisconsin sports passion.

Though the MU stuff doesn't resonate nearly as much, I enjoy getting a pulse from the Warrior faithful and gaining more insight to a local sports institution.

Keep up the good work and I'll try not to incite too much of a riot when I pipe in...

Rubie Q said...

Aw, it's all in good fun, JM. Sports are the only thing we have left where we're allowed to hate something/someone. For us, that's the Badgers.

JM said...

If you ever need someone to shit on Michigan or Ohio State... please let me know. After spending five years in school in Ohio, those hatred fires were exponentially stoked.

Moongoose McQueen said...

What you talking about, I are smrt.

Rubie Q said...

JM: they're in the Big 10. Shit at will.

Rubie Q said...

Why is it, when I post something lightly mocking/calling into question Moongoose's porn preferences, you immediately respond -- yet, at all other times, it's like getting a fucking 2-year-old to eat his veggies? COMMENT MORE, DAMMIT.

Rubie Q said...

One scenario down the drain, according to Rosiak:

"Also, Maymon was in good standing academically and closing out final exams."

Moongoose McQueen said...

I personally like the "Fuck all y'all, I'm going home" theory. Except home might be in Europe. With no more school. And limited/no success. And endless We-told-you-so's from the commie weasels. Because while this might not confirm the shit people were saying about Daddy, it would confirm some of the stuff they were saying about Jeronne.

Rubie Q said...

I hadn't heard the Europe noise. Where'd you hear that, Goose?

Moongoose McQueen said...

Brought up as a rumor on Homer's show, something about not liking the school/basketball balance of college.

No idea if it has any credence, they didn't seem to know anything more than Rosiak or anybody else.

Rubie Q said...

Interesting. Normally, I'd expect Homer to have an inkling, but this is the rare case where nobody seems to have any fucking clue as to what happened.

Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

I'll tell you who is to blame for this whole mess. It doesn't need to be explained because you will all understand after the next two words.

Crab people

Devil's Threesome said...

Nice 'Burbs reference Rubes - well done. Can anyone name the book Mox was reading during the football game? He wanted to go to Brown you know... People from Brown read - except for Chris Berman.

Rubie Q said...

Ooh! I know! I know! But I've seen the movie 3000 times, so it's not really fair. I'll see if anybody else remembers.

EMoney said...

War of the Worlds!

God I love Tom Cruise!

You are a Baffoon said...

Dwayne, you can get through college half-assed. Richard, you can get through LIFE half-assed. But I'll guarantee you boys one thing: sure as hell, I'll guarantee you this: you cannot *win* half-assed! (Name this movie____________)

J-May is trying to go through life as a D-1 baller half-assed, in fact its more like two-fifths-assed due to the fact that's about the time he's put in this year. Just a giant shit-sandwich that everyone is going to have to bite into.

Devil's Threesome said...

The Program Baffoon?

Rubie Q said...

I believe that's Blue Chips. Apropos, Baffoon.

You are a Baffoon said...

Nice Work Rubie!! You DA MAN!!!

Devil's Threesome said...

Damn - how could I not recognize that? I can hear it ringing in my ears in Nick Nolte's raspy voice.

Best Buy should sell an amateur sports 3 pack - Varsity Blues, Blue Chips and The Program. Sorry Rubes - no Cutting Edge.

klwillis45 said...

Bo sez: Ooh eee Ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang.

Seriously, it sucks because MU is so thin but with all the stuff I've seen about his douchenozzle Dad, it's probably for the best.