Monday, January 18, 2010

How Much Bad Juju Can One Team Have?

Apparently unsatisfied with the bad karma they created with the Brett Favre fiasco*, the Vikings decided to give the Football Gods the finger once again yesterday afternoon: up 27-3 with less than two minutes to go, the 'Queens eschewed a field goal opportunity on fourth down and had Ol' Man Favre throw his fourth touchdown pass of the game -- and, ohbytheway, the fucker never threw that many touchdowns in a playoff game for the Packers -- to towel-hating dong-flaunter Visanthe Shiancoe.

* As Reid astutely pointed out yesterday, based on BreFarrr's performance this year, one comes to the inescapable conclusion that No. 4 was mailing it in during his last years in Green Bay. If he's capable of a 30+ TD, single-digit interception season when he's 40, he was certainly capable of doing the same thing when he was 36 or 37. For those of you scoring at home (TWSS), this is Reason No. 15,438 to hate Brett Favre.

After the game, The Chill claimed -- preposterously, as is his nature -- that the "Fuck You" touchdown "wasn't rubbing it in. It's just taking care of business and being aggressive at the end of the game."

Dude: fuck you with a rusty coat hanger. If you're gonna run up the score in a playoff game, at least have the stones to own up to it.

How much longer can these dickstrokes keep this up before karma comes back to bite them in the ass? If Brett Favre and his telemarketer-on-the-sidelines coach win the Super Bowl, there is no God.


EMoney said...

Rub - "How much longer can these dickstrokes keep this up before karma comes back to bite them in the ass?"

After they win the SuperBowl

PaulNoonan said...

They probably won't beat the Saints. Probably. Here's why.

The Vikes are much better at stopping the run. Unless the Saints get enthused about Reggie Bush (which would be stupid, but is admittedly possible), they will offer only token running. Thus, the Vikings biggest defensive strength is useless.

The Vikes, on the other hand, have gone all shitty about running. There are 2 reasons for this:

1. Adrian Peterson has declined, probably from too much abuse.

2. Brett is the coach, and he likes to pass.

Remember when the Bucs beat the Saints? 31 carries, 161 yards and a TD. That's how you beat the Saints. Pound them up the middle.

So the question becomes,will the Vikings be able to stick with the run? Especially if the game appears to be a "shoot-out?"

I'll bet not.

Rubie Q said...

Thanks for the pep talk, Paul. However, I fear that your reason and logic are powerless in the face of whatever Dark Forces Brett Favre has summoned to aid his demon quest for the Super Bowl.

EMoney said...

Regardless, I think that it's going to be an entertaining game. Unlike the 2 snoozers yesterday.

Devil's Threesome said...

E - plus the two snoozers on Saturday. The NFL has delivered some amazing playoff action over the last 8-10 years, but this year is a bit stale outside of the AZ-GB game.

I'm rooting for Colts-Saints all the way.

You are a Baffoon said...

Here is my analysis of recent events concerning Brent Favre. He's rapping, a clear violation of old white man rules. He's throwing way too many TD's versus Int's. Since when does your eyesight improve with age? He seems to be gaining in super-human strength and accuracy with his passes, HGH? Could it be, way...He's back on the Vicodin. The way he's bouncing around out there it's like some sick Richard Simmons commercial damn embarassing...He's just acting way to goofing and playing way too good for his own good, plus no sign of the gout anywhere, WTF?

PaulNoonan said...

In all seriousness, I think he probably is on steroids/HGH. I'd put it at above 50% probability. unfortunately, my evidence is entirely circumstantial, but:

1. He appeared to be in normal QB decline over the last 3 years.

2. He is coming off of an injury. Historically, many admitted (or highly suspect) baseball players appear to have started using when recovering from injury. McGwire is exhibit A.

3. Brett obviously has no moral issue with drugs. Anyone who says "Brett would never do that" is deluded.

4. NFL players are caught with steroids every year, and so the belief clearly exists that at least some steroids are undetectable.

5. HGH is undetectable, at least using NFL testing methods.

6. No QB has ever played this well at this age. Almost all are either finished or bad by the time they are 40.

7. Favre had a lot of incentive to be good this year, and to take steps to make that happen.

8. Many other Vikings, including the Williams Wall and LB Erin Henderson (brother, not sister, of EJ) have been suspended (or are fighting in court) for PED use.

9. Onterrio Smith used a fake penis.

10. The Vikings are evil.

Objectively, Favre's awesome season looks fishy. Not a sure thing of course. The guy has always been a bit of a physical freak. But he has also popped a lot of pills in his day.

Rubie Q said...

Anybody know if they do more drug testing during training camp? Maybe that's another reason why Darth Favre was so eager to avoid the pre-season workouts in the last two years ...

HHHTheGame said...

I'd be fine with them winning the Super Bowl, and here's why. He will either...

a) Retire
b) Waffle again well into June
c) Say "one more year" right away

He can't keep up this pace forever. The Vikings are a team built to win now. Give it a year or so and they'll be struggling to get to 8 wins again. Their QB situation will be a holy mess and AP will soon command a rather hefty pay increase. Jared Allen will not be the sack machine he was this year. The Williams' Fatties will slow down very quickly. Let them bask in their glory for one or two years. There is no way the public will support a new stadium because they know Brett is only a stop-gap.

PaulNoonan said...

The Vikings winning the SuperBowl is just wrong. You should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting such a thing, Hunter.