Apparently the slide in Corey Hart's performance can be attributed to nearsightedness. Correcting the problem will be as simple as sporting some Horace Grant goggles.
Trouble tracking down balls in the outfield. Swinging at balls in the dirt. Failing to draw walks. Absolute suckitude. Yeah, not his fault at all. I bet you all feel like total douche-nozzles right now for criticizing the poor guy.
Hart will not be the first professional baseball player to sport the goggles. Chris Sabo had a decent career and even served as the inspiration for a Cincinnati Reds fan blog.
While "I wear my goggles at night" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, I am excited for possible fan promotions that can be spawned from this change:
- Corey Hart bobblehead with special edition alternate road goggles.
- Miller High Life Corey Hart beer-goggle night (featuring Wendell of course).
I'm sure there are more, feel free to add any suggestions in the comments section.