Thursday, March 4, 2010

It's A Trap?

This can't be a coincidence:

We bring Admiral Ackbar, S.J. on board -- and two days later, Fr. Wild announces he's retiring as Marquette's president in June 2011?

I fear we have sinned, and I fear it ain't venial. Sorry, God. Sorry, Jesus. Sorry, saints.

But while we're at it, let's compound those sins by ...

HANDICAPPING THE FIELD FOR YOUR NEXT MARQUETTE UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT

Let's go!

Admiral Ackbar, S.J. - Jesuit in name only. Mon Calimarian, which is good for diversity purposes. Handsome. And he did get everybody to focus their fire on that lead Star Destroyer. Odds: 13-1.

Dwyane Wade, N.B.A. - Let's face it, this guy got more buildings built than the rest of these dudes combined. STD free. Odds: 4-1.

Fr. Tim Lannon, S.J. - Current president at St. Joe's University in Philly. Was formerly
Associate Executive Vice President at Marquette University. Currently a member of MU's Board of Trustees. Admiral Ackbar, S.J. was once his Administrative Assistant. Also: has a sick turnaround jumper. Odds: 2-1.

Fr. Dan McDonald, S.J. - Admiral Ackbar's cousin and priest who presided over his wedding. In 1998, became Executive Director for University Mission and Identity at Marquette. Currently teaching in Italy. Tall. Odds: 8-1.

Jesus H. Christ, S.O.G. - Looking for a comeback. Has had a rough couple of decades. Hopes Buzz needs an extra PG. Odds: 6-1.

Tom Crean, S.O.B. - Lost 20 games so far this season. Tan. NEEDS TO GET YOU INTO THIS '02 CAMRY. THIS BABY RUNS LIKE A DREAM! AND YOU WANNA TALK FEATURES ... Odds: 1,000,000 to 1
.

Fr. Wild pulls a Favre and decides not to retire. Odds 3-1.

Fr. Wild goes to St. Thomas in Minnesota. Odds 6-1
.

Whoyagot?

6 comments:

Devil's Threesome said...

Freeway - good feel for Marquette traditions and is an excellent public speaker. Odds 15-1

Mr. Rumsfield's Brownies said...

Warrior Brad, D.BAG - former President of Business Alumni Association, passion for Marquette and Marquette Basketball, overly obnoxious, he might change team name back to Warriors. Odds - 25-1

Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

Taiwan - Knows the campus quite well and really knows how to connect with the students. Odds - 36 - 1

EMoney said...

Freddie, REAL Chili - Doesn't take sh*t from anybody; Great politician, understands the concept of "greasing the wheels" politics. For those who want a second coming of the Warriors nickname, Freddie could easily be persuaded. Odds - TBD (background check pending)

Mr. Sparkle said...

Marquette Drew - Former President of MUSG, pretty-boy, and had the wholesome thing going for him. Plus a huge fan of eggs. Odds: 12 -1

Odds of me egging his office door: 1-1

Mr. Rumsfield's Brownies said...

Ice Fishing with Kirby, former 7th floor resident rep for McCormick, overly involved student. However getting caught throwing water balloons out the 7th floor window and being fired from the Annex for serving underagers will hurt his odds.

Odds 150-1