Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Cut This Asshole.

If you let the Pirates Frackin' Pirates bat around on you in the first inning -- and you give up a walk, three singles, three doubles, and a grand slam home run -- that's grounds for immediate termination. And, no, I don't much give a shit that Casey McGehee clanked two grounders in the same inning, because Slapnuts gave up three more doubles after that.

Oh, but he had six quality starts before this, you say.

I will say this slowly:

Dave Bush.

Is Not.

A Good Pitcher.

He will occasionally bluff his way into a six-inning, three-run outing, and you'll think: "Well, I guess that could've been worse." Lest you forget: Bush can't throw more than 100 pitches in an outing (it's science, apparently), so six innings, three runs is about the best you can hope for when he's on the mound.

And he makes stupid faces when he throws the ball. Close your mouth before you swallow a fly, bulldog.


Mr. Sparkle said...

It has been awhile since we've had some Dave Bush hate.

I enjoyed "The Homestand" last night on ESPN. What I did not enjoy was the shit-show highlight reel of the 1st inning that immediately followed.

Last nights game was reminiscent of the time that fucker Dave Bush ruined my first trip to Target Field.

I had just purchased a dog and a Grain Belt and was settling in to my seat. The Crew made it a short top of 1 so Bushy thought it was best to make the most of the bottom half. 7 runs, 6 hits, and 1 out later, Jeff Suppan (yes, that Jeff Suppan) entered the game in relief to finish the inning. That was the most disgusting display of pitching I had seen up until last night.

Dave Bush is fucking clown shoes!

Devil's Threesome said...

Wait...what? They sell Grain Belt at Target Field? Damn, gotta get there next year.

Mr. Sparkle said...

Oh shit yeah, in plastic bottles too.

Multiple beer vendors... a Michelob guy, a Miller guy, and a Grain Belt guy. Not to mention, the stadium is really nice.

A lot Hmong though.