Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I Heart This Man.

Brandon Phillips, I'll tumble for you.

Referring to the Uptight Citizens of St. Louis, B-Phil sez:
“I’d play against these guys on one leg,” Phillips told Hal McCoy, a columnist for the Dayton Daily News. “We have to beat these guys. All they do is b—- and moan about everything, all of them. They’re little b——s, all of them. I really hate the Cardinals. Compared to the Cardinals, I love the Chicago Cubs. Let me make this clear: I hate the Cardinals.”
Doug Melvin, GET ME THIS MAN.

(With love to KL for the link.)


Master Reid said...


Sheets' Va Jay Jay said...

That was... Awesome!

I don't know if I can see anyone on the Crew saying something like this to the media. Maybe Prince? I think we should nominate someone. I would say Gomez, but that could hurt his trade value. Wait, it might actually help it. Gomez, speak up!

Devil's Threesome said...


Even better was Larussa's retort - "We win the right way and we lose the right way." Holy tits, get off your high horse you transition lens wearing pederast.

Rubie Q said...

Pujols-dammit, D3, are you out of your Pujols-damn mind? We're just fortunate that our Pujols-forsaken team gets to share a division with the Defenders of All That Is Good and Right and Respectful.


EMoney said...

I don't know what all the hub-bub is about the Cardinals. They're a model organization. Great city, well mannerred players, always competitive, and best fans. I'm actually somewhat of a fan.

Devil's Threesome said...

Actual excerpt from Bryan Burwell's diary. I have a friend living in STL, but revealing any more would be a HIPAA violation.

"I noticed today that Albert Pujols is #2 on the Google autofill search terms list behind Albert Einstein. I can't believe this disgrace. Einstein is such a show boat with that crazy hair and that sticking his tongue out business. He also lacks class, which was proven by showing up the Germans in the run-up to WWII. Albert may be #2 on the Google autofill search terms list, but I'll sleep well at night knowing that carries himself with dignity. Win or lose, he acts like he's been there before. Albert would never show up an opponent after hitting a home run or stealing sensitive state secrets."


Devil's Threesome said...

Have you been to STL? Not that MKE is any great shakes, but STL's urban is more rotten than MKE and it's hotter than a blast furnace for 6 months out of the year. It's all close to East St Louis.

My beef isn't with the Cardinal fans, they all seem to be pretty decent. My beef is with their holier than thou players and media. Whenever things don't go their way (untucked shirts, walk off home runs, etc), they whine, bitch, moan and complain how everyone else is so classless. If you don't like a player admiring his walk off HR, then don't groove a fastball to Billy fucking Hall. If you don't like untucked jerseys, beat said jersey untucking team.

It's either that or I'm totally wrong and STL owns the only dusty copy of "Baseball's Gentlemanly Rules of Decorum and Decency, Including a New Afterword by President William McKinley." If that's the case, I hereby submit my formal apology.

Devil's Threesome said...

I'm getting fired up - look at this tripe:

It's like 2008 all over again - sleeping giant my ass.

EMoney said...

Wow you are fired up! Personally, I like the fired up D3

EMoney said...

Oh and can we get rid of this burger background? It's kind of trippin me out now that I'm back to visiting the QB on a regular basis. Plus it's scaring away all the hot chicks!

You are a Baffoon said...

We had burgers at Fatfest.

Master Reid said...

I just saw the clip of the brawl for the first time. That was no run of the mill, pussy baseball slap fight. There were some hostile intentions there.

PaulNoonan said...

Here are some things to hate about the Cardinals/St. Louis:

1. Their drinky-drivy manager.

2. Their drinky-drivy manager's many uses of the steroidy Mark McGwire, and in a previous life, Jose Canseco.

3. Their incredibly lucky, Jeff Suppan fueled World Series.

4. You can offend them simply by untucking a shirt.

5. They admonish people for admiring home runs while also admiring home runs.

6. Didn’t Vince Coleman throw fireworks at someone or something?

7. Jim Edmonds is still a douche.

8. They employed the grindiness of David Eckstein for 3 years.

9. St. Louis is hotter than balls. Isn’t Hotter Than Balls a Smith’s album?

10. Their football team plays indoors for no good reason.

Rubie Q said...

11. If your pitcher throws a pitch that comes with six inches of Lord Albert, The Human Rain Delay will order his pitcher to throw at anyone and everyone in your lineup.

Master Reid said...

I was just going to say something to that effect. He thinks every HBP is a head-hunting mission and vows to avenge it.

A good quote out of the melee:

“I’ve got Cueto kicking me in a back. It’s super unprofessional. we do not know where he schooled how to fight.”

-Chris Carpenter

Um, well Chris, if I had to guess I'd say he learned it on the mean streets of San Pedro de Macoris, D.R. What, that's not how kids throw down in Manchester, NH?