Quevedo at the Buffet

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2011-02-07T15:35:00.001-06:00

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Also:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Steel Curtain

2011-02-01T11:31:00.003-06:00

One area that doesn't seem to get as much attention as it probably should, is the fact that we're playing this game indoors. Much of the attention is going to the Pittsburgh defense, and with good reason obviously, but the road through the AFC was all outdoors and in wintry conditions....something that specifically caters to the style of play that the likes of the Steelers, Jets, Ravens are built for.

Conversely, while it seems that Green Bay should also use this slow, grind it out in bad weather style considering they play outdoors in Green Bay, Teddy has actually gone against the grain and put together a team specifically designed for the fast track, and it could pay off dividends come Sunday. Do the Steelers have a tough defense? Absolutely! However, does the spread 'em out style of the Packers prevent what Pittsburgh typically likes to do on defense thus somewhat neutralize a typical strength of theirs? Many are scratching their heads at why Las Vegas calculates the 6 seed and inexperienced Packers as 2.5 pt favorites versus the 2 seed Steelers that have 2 recent SuperBowl appearances. I suggest it's the location that seems to cater to what Green Bay tries to do offensively that tips the scales in Green Bay's favor. While I concede that Pittsburgh's defense is outstanding, I also think that Green Bay's offense is too good to stop on a consistent basis when the game is played indoors. Take a look at what Green Bay has done this season in domes and the offensive numbers will speak for themselves. That said, the outcome won't be decided as much by Pittsburgh's defense as it will be by Green Bay's defense. Rodgers is going to put points on the board, no doubt......it's just a matter of whether or not we're going to prevent these long 12+ play scoring drives that Pittsburgh likes to produce......something that can wear out a defense and also keep Rodgers on the sidelines.

First prediction: Green Bay 27
Pittsburgh 20

SUPER BOWL MONDAY! GO TWEET YO ASS OFF!!

2011-01-31T13:42:00.005-06:00

Are you ready for some football? O wait, we have to wait six more days, crap. So much to talk about this week, let me see, the pinball selects Photo-TwitterGate 2011. Um, Nick Barnett, step away from the cell phone, repeat, step away from the cell phone down! Honestly, you haven't played for months and now you want go and jack up a couple of great weeks in Packers history, because you want to be in team photo, STUPID JAG MOVE. Anyway, plenty of great stories to come especially the ones about Michael Irvin reopening the WhiteHouse this week for former Cowboy offensive tackle Flozell Adams...get some, make it rain!!

CHAMPIONSHIP TUESDAY: Bigger loss, JerMichael Finley or Ryan Grant?

2011-01-25T15:27:00.007-06:00

In the grand scheme of things it's clear that the Packers have done alot of damage on offense even without the two offensive weapons of Ryan Grant and JerMichael Finley. In my honest opinion, I think losing Finley has been a blessing in disguise for the receiving core for the Packers. I feel that the progression of the group of receivers Driver, Jones, Jennings, and Nelson has helped create a stronger unit than what would have been with Finley being there to zap production and continuity. That said, the loss of Ryan Grant at the beginning of the season, clearly cost the Packers several close games that would have been won had he been there, i.e. Washington and Detroit to name a few. Both were tough losses, but my feeling is Ryan Grant would have been more beneficial down the stretch than what Finley could have provided.

TEDDY BOY BRINGS IT: CHAMPIONSHIP MONDAY

2011-01-24T08:37:00.004-06:00

Whether or not anyone is following the hibernating Quevedo Buffett anymore is a mute point, because I am bringing it this week and next, cause it's SUPER BOWL TIME. After the Packers sent the Bears packing yesterday with their sissie-snowpants quarterback at the helm, it is time to give credit where it's due and that's to the brain's behind the Packers success, Ted Thompson. Like him or hate him, he is the reason for the great success this year. His movement up in the draft two years ago to get two impact pro-bowl defensive players in Clay Matthews and BJ Raji was the key to the Packers resurgence. This move up in the draft could be compared to the Brett Favre trade if the Packers can finish the deal and win the big show in Dallas two weeks from now. Much more to come...

83 to 20 Shellacking

2010-11-13T20:14:00.000-06:00

Stay classy Bielema.

I gave the NBA one shot this season. I wasted my time.

2010-10-30T20:44:00.006-05:00

We've talked about this before. I talk about it a lot, as it turns out. But in case you've missed all of the other conversations, here's something you should know about me: I love basketball, but I don't like the NBA. I'm pretty open about that. I've done my best to perpetuate a rumor that watching it causes pink eye. I do my best to avoid it.

But, once each year, I give it another shot. I know a handful of pretty smart, likeable sports fans who love the NBA. I've never understood what they see in it, but once each year I do my best to be open-minded and see if there's something I've been missing.

Last year I sat through two Bucks games, sucked in by the hype that followed Brandon Jennings' 55 point performance. This year, inspired by a TV slate that featured nothing else of interest, I sat down Friday night and watched the Bucks-Timberwolves game.

The Bucks lost this game, sleepwalking to a double-digit loss against a team that won 15 games last season and hasn't won more than 33 games since 2004. In the middle of the game, though, my in-laws stopped by and we had this exchange:

I notice Ersan Ilyasova has checked into the game.

ME: Ersan Ilyasova is the embodiment of everything I hate about the NBA. He's sloppy, selfish, he takes terrible shots and he's defensively worthless.*

MOTHER-IN-LAW: Which one is he?

Ilyasova catches a pass on the perimeter and immediately jacks up a three that barely draws iron.

ME: That's him.

At the other end of the court Ilyasova picks up his fourth foul, in the first half.

* - I've watched him play three times over the last two seasons. I suppose it's possible I've just seen him at the wrong times. But man, has he ever been awful when I've seen him.

See you next year, NBA.

This Is Why They Invented the Word "Shit."

2010-10-26T16:25:00.006-05:00

I haven't FJMed in a while, so I'm probably out of practice. But His Admiralty directed me to this schlock from onmilwaukee.com's Dave Begel -- and, hell, let's get this out of the way right now, Dave: you MIGHT want to come up with a byline pic that doesn't make it look like you're huddled in your basement with the lights off, hiding from your wife, with only the glow of the computer screen to keep you warm -- but I digress.

The topic of this screed is Brett Favre, and why he's a "legend." I think. I'm not sure, and I've read it four times. Maybe you can help me.

This was why they invented the word "legend."

I thought the word "legend" was invented for the Will Smith vehicle "I Am Legend." I mean, it's right there in the title of the movie: he is legend. Brett Favre, on the other hand, is an overpaid, overcovered, and (apparently) underhung quarterback for a bad football team.

But, more to the point: the Vikings lost on Sunday. Seems like kind of an odd time to be crowing about the "legendary" exploits of Minnesota's quarterback, no?

Brett Favre was not the best quarterback on the field Sunday night when Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers exorcised their demons by beating Favre and the Minnesota Vikings, 28-24.

Shit, Dave, I think there's a strong argument that Favre wasn't even the second-best quarterback on the field on Sunday. I mean, did you see the ball that Matt Flynn threw to the uncoordinated, fourth-string tight end whose name I can't remember?

But he was the only one who had his hands wrapped around our hearts.

I know what you want me to do: you want me to say, "Better that he had his hands wrapped around our hearts than around his hoo-hoo-dillie." And, ordinarily, I would say just that. But we have to stay on task, people. There's nonsense to dissect here.

Forget Ted Thompson.

Um. OK.

Forget the Jets and the Vikings.

Sure. Done.

Forget the texting and sexting and little boy voicemails.

Little boy voicemails? Is Brett Favre going to be on To Catch a Predator?!? My tittles are lated here, Dave, but, with the expectation that you're going somewhere with this: Fine. They're out of mind.

Forget all of that crap because none of that really matters. What matters is that with all the odds stacked against him, with the fury of 80,000 people raining down on his shoulders, with one leg, one arm, gray hair, and with time running out, he almost did it again.

Oh. So you do remember that the Vikings didn't win. You just decided to construct a column around the premise: "Brett Favre is a legend because his team almost won." That's sensible. Or: you're desperately trying to win eyeballs for your site by taking a preposterous -- and barely-comprehensible -- position.

One or the other.

The ball was snapped, he dropped back and he fell down. But in an apt metaphor for his legend, he got back up, stepped up and threw a bullet into the end zone again. This one was high. Just high. Barely high.

Six feet over Moss's head high.

And, just so we're clear: the "apt metaphor for his legend" -- and, briefly: what the fuck? A "metaphor for his legend"? Perhaps you meant vignette, or something along those lines -- is an incomplete pass?

And this is a good thing?

You're sure you want to keep going down this road? It's not too late to turn back. I can still see the fork in the road, back there near Bat-Shit Crazy Boulevard. No? You're good?

That [sic] the thing about him. He played a game for two decades with a sense of wonder and wonderful adventure. His failings made us love his success even more.

His failings caused the demise of two (2) remote controls, one (1) beer mug, and put a sizable dent in my closet door. (I threw a shoe.) Other than that, I didn't get a whole lot out of his failings, and they certainly didn't lead me to conclude: "This guy is a legend!"

He never quit.

Minor quibble: he quit twice.

Not almost never. Not almost never. Never!

All of a sudden, this turned into a scene out of a bizarro H.M.S. Pinafore:

Did he almost quit?

NOT ALMOST NEVER!

What, not almost never?

NOT ALMOST NEVER! NEVER!

That's what a legend is.

So, on the list of "Things a Legend Is," we've now got:

(1) Someone who never quits. Not almost never. Never.

If this is the primary criterion, then I would like to point out that I never quit my grocery bagging job in high school. Not almost never. NEVER. I am a fucking legend.

There is a reality to all legends and there is a myth to them as well. Brett Favre has a ton of reality and several tons of myth.

Add to the list, re: "Things a Legend Is":

(2) Someone who has "a ton of reality and several tons of myth."

While working at the grocery story, I once used a skid jack, an empty Minute Maid jug, and a block of Mild Brick cheese to stop a runaway grocery truck. Management was so grateful that I was given a lifetime supply of the foodstuffs of my choice. I selected cheese-filled microwaveable pretzels, grape Juicy Juice, and Mr. Goodbars.

Fucking. Legend. This guy.

Let us never forget that the most hallowed name in the long history of the Green Bay Packers turned his back on the team and left them to go to the Washington Redskins. His name was Vince Lombardi.

No, thanks. I had lunch today. No red herring for me.

So, too, should it be for this flawed quarterback who gives us thrills and chills even when wearing the uniform of the enemy.

That's why they invented the word "legend."

I've spent all my bullets, so I turn to a trusted source for the final word:

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Favre's Final Act has No Magic

2010-10-25T08:14:00.006-05:00

As a Packers follower since my days of wearing diapers, it's clear Brett Favre is wearing out is welcome as a professional football player in the NFL. It's clear as day that last year's fantastic run to the NFC Championship game was really, the FINAL ACT. On Monday night, undernear the Sunday night Lambeau BigTop, a dark cloud seemed to floating above the once beloved #4. Perceptions of this Packer hero has become shrouded in questionable actions within the last several years. As a football player however, the fade into an average quarterback, is becoming strikingly clear. I saw a player who once could will mediocre/average players (i.e. Don Beebe, Antonio Freeman, Javon Walker to name a few) around him like he did in the 1990s and 2000s with the Packers, and find a way to get the "W". He was always finding a way because of his remarkable ability to improvise, scramble, and throw laser-beam touchdown passes that would culminate in two Super Bowl appearances and one Super Bowl Ring. However in 2010, it's clear that Brett should have stayed home on his tractor. Last years magic is gone. He can't scramble. He can't improvise. He can't even use the fantastic weapons that the Vikings have around him, to make it happen (AP, Harvin, Moss). It's a sad end. It's a jaded end to an era that still has many questions to answer as all of these are on field issues with playing the game of football must be answered in the final 10 games. Brett Favre has lived and died on the field as a gun-slinger and love him or hate him, it will be interesting to see how the show ends.

Ok, I've digested the Miami game.....

2010-10-20T17:10:00.004-05:00

And I think it might be worse than we thought. Again, the defense does a respectable job but this "potent" offense can't muster up more than 20 points. So what gives? I'm seeking answers from my viewers because aside from Baffoon, everyone here seems to disagree with my analyses. In addition to my previous thoughts regarding the running game, I am going to throw out another theory in hopes of stirring up the pot even more.......and I'm guaranteeing controversy here. So again, what gives? Answer....

Aaron Rodgers isn't who we thought he was!

That's right I said it. In watching the last 2 atrocities, I've noticed a different Aaron Rodgers. He no longer looks like the confident, sling it all over the field QB that he did in the second half of last year. His throws aren't nearly as accurate, he doesn't look downfield like he used to, and as a whole he doesn't look as comfortable in the pocket as he did last season. Rodgers gets hit a couple times and it seems like it affects his psyche so much that he's more concerned about the pressure than what's opening up down field........thus he's missing open guys and holding onto the ball too long, which in turn leads to sacks and a number of holding penalties on the offensie line.

Am I saying he's no good? No, not at all. I simply think that we jumped the gun at giving him this "elite" status before he really earned it. He put up good numbers last year, no doubt, but it wasn't until the O-line got shored up and the running game got going that ARodg really started tearing up opposing defenses. Currently, Rodgers is 20-18 as a starter, 7-13 (35%) when facing teams with a 0.500 record or better (1-7 on the road, 6-6 at home!), 0-1 in the playoffs, and worst of all........0-2 against Brett Favre! I think that this last one is key. The majority of Packer fans have such a distaste for Brett Favre that they essentially are giving ARodg a pass, meaning he's untouchable. As I stated, I do think the Rodgers is a good QB and I hope he will continue to be behind center for many years, however I don't think that he is the guy that we can just put the game on his shoulders and win alot of games (ala Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Drew Brees). I predict that if the running game continues to be as woeful as it has been, ARodg will continue to struggle and the offense will sputter. If that is indeed the case, considering the competition that Green Bay will be facing the next 3 weeks (Vikings, @Jets, Cowboys), they could very well be 3-6 heading into their bye week. Sunday night could answer alot of these questions as Rodgers will again play Favre and that physical Viking defensive front. It should be interesting and I hope ARodg proves me wrong.

I hope my intuitions are completely off base and I'm sure many of you will disagree. Let the games begin.

I'm sure there will be plenty of other reactions here to a second straight overtime loss

2010-10-17T15:17:00.002-05:00

But while we wait for those, I present you with this thought:

The over-under for today's Packers-Dolphins game was 44. After one quarter, the score was 10-7, and the two teams were on pace for 68. When the Dolphins hit the field goal to make it 23-20, the total combined score was 43, one point away.

The people who set these lines are pretty good at their job.

Just Speechless!

2010-10-10T17:49:00.004-05:00

Can anyone explain to me what is going on with the Packers? And don't tell me injuries either. Defensively, sure we are decimated, but we only gave up 13 pts in regulation. If you would have asked me if Green Bay won while allowing Washington to only score 13 pts in regulation I would have said yes hands down. I would probably have bet the farm on that in fact! Offensively, while we have lost Grant for the year, and lost Finley and Lee during game play today, I still don't think that that's enough of a handcuff to prevent this offense from clicking. They did move the ball 2day. Hell, they even ran the ball effectively today.......much to my surprise. So WTF? There are 2 things that I have come away with through the first 5 weeks of the NFL season regarding this team.

1. Complete Imbalance Offensively - As you all know, I have preached about the ineffectiveness of our current corps of running backs. Today, however, they surprised me when Jackson rushed for over 100 yards on only 10 carries! Kuhn even averaged 4 ypc on 4 carries. So my question is, when running the ball so effectively what's with the 4:1 ratio of pass plays to run plays? Teams realize that Rodgers is our primary weapon and we go to him on roughly 70ish% of our plays, so they are sitting back in pass coverage thus allowing big holes to run through. I know that many people think that the NFL is now a passing league, but I feel that there are only a select few elite QB's that can pick apart defenses without an effective running game (Manning, Brady, Brees). Rodgers is close, but it's obvious that the loss of Grant has really hurt our passing game's effectiveness. Further, I can't explain it, but there doesn't seem to be a sense of urgency with our offensive unit. I don't know if there is just an overconfidence on their part to simply outscore their opponent at will, but they aren't converting 3rd/4th and short yardage plays, the receivers are dropping balls left and right, and even Rodgers has been prone to throw a number of picks of late.

2. Overrated? - Leading into this season, Rodgers was essentially hailed the next great Green Bay quarterback. The talking heads for giving him "elite" QB status along with Manning, Brady, and Brees. He was a hot commodity on the fantasy front and went in the first round in many drafts. To go along with this theme, the Packers were a very popular pick on a national level to represent the NFC in this year's Super Bowl. In fact, when questioned about this, many GB players used the phrase "Super Bowl or die" during interviews in training camp. And I think there were t-shirts made with this phrase and worn by some players on the team......one of which being ARodg. This makes me reminisce to the Packers of the 90's that consistently had high expectations leading into the season.....so much so that coach Holmgren banned any SuperBowl talk within the locker room in hopes of reeling in any sort of over confidence.

I don't know what the hell is going on with this team. They are 3-2, but again they have lost a game that they essentially dominated and should have gotten the W in. Further, this injury thing is really getting out of control. I don't have any answers, but injuries are no excuse, and I think there needs to be some major corrections on the offensive side of the ball. Is it McCarthy's play calling? Is it Rodger's mistakes? Is it the running game? Regardless, we now sit at second place in the Central and I suspect Minnesota isn't going to go quietly now that they have added Moss. We are now entering the tough part of our schedule with Miami, Minnesota, @Jets, Dallas, @Minnesota, and @Atlanta. I suspect we will see this team's true colors once we get through some of these "tough" opponents.

NFC Central Foes Continue With Aggressive Approach

2010-10-06T11:40:00.004-05:00

In an attempt to salvage this season, the Vikings got aggressive and made a move to acquire Randy Moss from the New England Patriots today. After stumbling out of the gate (likely due to the injury bug that infected their receiving corps and Brett Favre's decision not to show up til late August), the Vikings look like they may be a contender in the Central again. Moss should complement Harvin nicely and at the very least be a band-aid until Sidney Rice returns in 2-4 weeks. Whether or not the Brett Favre of '09 still exists has yet to be determined.

I bring this up because I wanted to see where the Ted Thompson defenders stand at this point. In successive years, Minnesota has added Brett Favre which resulted in an NFC Championship appearance, then went out and acquired Randy Moss after they lost their top receiver to injury when Moss wasn't even on anyone's radar as a trade option at this point in the season. Like Minnesota, Chicago saw a need to upgrade their QB position after 2 decades of mediocrity and made a move to acquire Jay Cutler. Then, this past off season, they decided to strengthen their defensive front by acquiring Julius Peppers via free agency and one PHAT contract (I thought they overpaid until I witnessed Peppers essentially single handedly beat us last Monday night).

In other news, the Buffalo Bills were bluffing when they said they were happy with Lynch and weren't fielding offers because the Seattle Seahawks managed to get him for 2 mid-round picks in '11 and '12. The Seahawks? 2 MID-LEVEL Picks? Isn't this the same Marshawn Lynch that was coveted by Thompson as a potential first rounder in '07 (and by the way this is when Justin Harrell was selected)? Yes, yes it is. So the question I have is, if you have an opportunity to acquire a guy that you were willing to use your first round pick on 3 years ago for 2 mid-round picks today.......on a proven NFL player that has made the ProBowl and is still only 24 years old.......wouldn't you pull the trigger? ESPECIALLY after you lost your starting running back for the year in week 1, and your team has failed to run the ball effectively since. ESPECIALLY since Chicago has already beaten you, you narrowly escaped with a W at home against Detroit, and ARodg hasn't shown any consistency since losing our balanced offensive attack.

My point in all of this is the upper management of both the Vikings and Bears (and most other teams for that matter) are continuously looking for opportunities to get better in hopes of vaulting them past their competitors and potentially winning a title. They don't just stand pat and live off of preseason expectations. Thompson made a good call with Rodgers ability to lead this team, but I can't wrap my brain around his stubborness to give up draft picks. For every Greg Jennings, there are 5 Justin Harrell's. Ted stood around and watched the final years of Brett wash away, I hope he doesn't do the same with Rodgers. In my opinion, the NFC is ripe for the taking THIS YEAR! The only possible contenders out of the remaining NFC divisions are New Orleans, Atlanta, and Dallas......and none of these look dominant. Sure we can stand firm with what we've got and squeeze through to the playoffs, but I personally don't see Green Bay making the NFC Championship much less the Super Bowl with the way they are playing. In my opinion, the NFC Central just got tougher and I no longer expect to walk away with this division. I hope TT gets a sense of urgency soon because we are only 1 low tackle from losing Rodgers to a serious injury.

So where do the TT defenders stand today? Any change since last season?

Ryder Cup Preview...

2010-09-30T14:39:00.004-05:00

Golf's most exciting event takes place this weekend as the Ryder Cup begins Friday at 1:30 am CDT. The Americans are looking to retain the Cup in an event that seems to favor the Europeans in recent matches. The Americans always seem to have the stronger team on paper, but the Europeans have dominated recent Ryder Cups having won 5 out of the last 7. The only two American victories came at the last Ryder Cup where Paul Azinger's team defeated the Europeans 16 1/2 to 11 1/2 and in 1999 when Ben Crenshaw's team staged a miracle finish in Sunday singles (won 8 1/2 of the 12 points) to win 14 1/2 to 13 1/2.

This year's event its taking place in Wales at the Celtic Manor Resort on the 2010 Course, a course designed specifically for this event. On paper, the Americans have the stronger team once again with 4 of the top 6 ranked players in the world. However, odds makers have the Europeans as the favorites once again.

The Friday morning four ball pairings were announced this afternoon and provide some interesting matches to say the least. Four ball consists of each player playing their own ball and the lowest score by any player wins the hole.

Match 1 - Phil Mickelson/Dustin Johnson (USA) vs. Lee Westwood/Martin Kaymer(EUR) - This match consists of 3 of the top 5 players in the world. Mickelson and Johnson have been rumored to be a team for quite a while and asked for the opening slot Friday. Their aggressive styles of play are perfect for this type of format as they both should make lots of birdies. This will be Lee Westwood's, who has a stellar Ryder Cup record, first tournament since mid-August as he recovered from a calf injury. Martin Kaymer is the reigning PGA Championship winner thanks in large part to the Dustin Johnson is it or isn't it a bunker troubles at Whistling Straits. This match should go down to the wire.

Match 2 - Stewart Cink/Matt Kuchar (USA) vs. Rory McIlroy/Graeme McDowell (EUR) - The Northern Ireland combo of McIlroy/McDowell is a solid team. McIlroy is considered by many the games next big star and McDowell is the reigning US Open Champion. Stewart Cink is a Ryder Cup veteran and paired with Matt Kuchar who is a Ryder Cub rookie, but is having a solid season. I think the Europeans have to be considered the favorites in this match, but if the USA could steal a point here it would be a great victory.

Match 3 - Tiger Woods/Steve Stricker (USA) vs. Ian Poulter/Ross Fisher (EUR) - Tiger Woods may have found the perfect partner to help improve his less than stellar Ryder Cup record in Steve Stricker as the two combined to go 4-0 in the team portion of last year's Presidents Cup (the USA vs. the rest of the world version of the Ryder Cup). It helps that both are in the top 4 in the world rankings. Ian Poulter is a fiery competitor but with Ryder Cup rookie Ross Fisher, the Europeans are the obvious underdogs in the match. However, defeating the seemingly unbeatable Woods/Stricker team could be a huge momentum builder for the Europeans.

Match 4 - Bubba Watson/Jeff Overton (USA) vs. Luke Donald/Padraig Harrington (EUR)- Captain Corey Pavin is sending out 2 Ryder Cup rookies in the final match of the morning session. Much like the Mickelson/Johnson team, Bubba Watson and Jeff Overton both play aggressive styles of play which might work well in this format. Jeff Overton has never won on the PGA Tour and Bubba Watson is playing with a lot of emotion as his father is dealing with terminal cancer. Hopefully the nerves and emotion won't get the best of this team. The European pairing is made up of 2 of Captain Colin Montgomerie's controversial captain's picks. A win by Luke Donald/Padraig Harrington should quiet some of the critics who wondered why world number 8 Paul Casey and Justin Rose, winner of 2 PGA tour events this year, were left off the team.

Both captains have indicated that they expect to use all 12 players on Friday so expect to see Fed-Ex Cup winner Jim Furyk, Ryder Cup veterans Hunter Mahan and Zach Johnson, and controversial captain's pick Rickie Fowler for the Americans and veteran Migel Angel Jimenez, rookie Peter Hanson, and the Molinari brothers (Francesco and Eduardo) for the Europeans in the afternoon foursomes matches. In foursomes, each player will alternate teeing off on odd/even holes and then they will play alternate shot the rest of the hole.

Unfortunately, I'll be traveling this weekend for my godson's baptism so I won't be able to provide any additional insight/update on the matches. If the Europeans get off to a hot start Friday it might be a long weekend for the Americans. However, I like the Americans to win in a close match that should come down to the 12 Sunday singles matches. I wouldn't be shocked to see Tiger Woods be the MVP of the American team as this stage would provide the perfect opportunity for Tiger to have his coming out party after all the controversy and struggles over the past year.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Tauscher

2010-09-29T12:53:00.005-05:00

Do the Packers trust #65 at right tackle for the rest of this year? I really don't think there is another more unathletic looking right tackle in the NFL. And honestly, does Bag of Tausch scare anyone except the workers at Old Country Buffett? And no, I don't trust him the rest of the year at right tackle.

Hate Anger Rage...DAMN YOU YELLOW FLAG

2010-09-27T23:53:00.006-05:00

I don't think I've been so angry in years watching a Packer football game. I understand that the Packers vs Bears games are supposed to be closely contested contests that provoke fans to clammer for these types of overhyped games...HOWEVER, this was abismal. NEVER, I mean NEVER have I seen officials at any level of football take over a game with so many game changing calls that went in one team's favor than there was tonight going the Bears way. Now legitimately there were penalties on both sides of the coin, but how on god's green earth can these fools in the zebra outfits call penalties twice on the Packers after what would have been game changing interceptions. The Zombo call is what just drives me mad. The guy is doing his job, sacking the qb, forcing a bad throw which is LEGALLY picked off by Barnett. How the fuck can a defensive player stop his forward momentum into a player, that should have been a non-call. The helmet to helmet call is just so fricken ridiculous now. I mean its not like the quarterback doesn't where a helmet?!!?!? My anger really goes back to the no call in Arizona during the playoff game last year, how in the world does that not get called when Rodgers gets his face nearly ripped off by an Arizona defensive back, but a solid form tackle on a quarterback tonight on Cutler is pretty much out of the question because his helmet hit another players. On top of it those stupid talking heads back up in the box Chucky Gruden, Fat Jaws, and Dinky Tirico just call the game without really questioning what the hell they are seeing. I'm fuming f-ing mad at those clowns. I mean even on the pass interference by Burnett down near the goalline, which Collins had an easy int, Burnett actually has better leverage and position than Bennett, but somehow the refs saw that playing physical on the ball isn't what the NFL is all about. All Dinky can say is, "Well Gruden, that's what happens when you play rookies on defense." Now granted McCarthy blew several calls especially that ridiculous challenge and our special teams got smoked, but look at the numbers, the Bears didn't do jack on offense and basically used 150+ penalty yards to move the football down the field. The one silver lining of this whole shit show is that we get those douchebags at home at Lambeau for hopefully all the marbles, but I suspect that the Bears will need to improve their offense and quick because they can't pay off all the refs in the league, at least I don't think so?!?!?!?!

Rivalry Week!

2010-09-24T10:18:00.003-05:00

I apologize for missing my weekly preview last week, but it was the Buffalo Bills.....THE BUFFALO BILLS. If I would have posted something, it would have been along the lines of "Green Bay wins big" and "for all you gambling degenerates out there, I again give Green Bay's opponent the points and take that easy money to the bank!" (For those of you keeping score at home, I'm 2-0 versus the spread after 2 weeks). Week 3 is a different story however. The Chicago Bears are off to a surprising 2-0 start after getting a quality win in BigD last week.....although using the phrase "quality win versus Dallas" seems to be less common with each passing week. Jay Cutler is looking more like the Denver Jay Cutler of 2 years ago by racking up huge yardage, getting his receivers in the endzone, and limiting his turnovers. Is this a product of Mike Martz's offensive genius or is it due to playing a weak Detroit Lions defense and over-rated Dallas team? In defense of Martz, Matt Forte has also improved since last season and has regained his rookie form....not so much from a rushing standpoint, but a shear production standpoint. Through 2 games Forte is averaging almost 150 yards from scrimmage and 1.5 scores, so it appears that Martz is using Forte like he did Marshall Faulk in the St.Louis days of "The Greatest Show on Turf". All that said, Chicago has gotten away from their traditional philosophy of pounding the ball and winning the game at the line of scrimmage, and now looks to open up their offense and win the game through the air. Defensively, the Bears are much improved from last season. Their defensive leader Brian Urlacher appears to be healthy again, and they have added the talented albeit old and overpaid Julius Peppers to their defensive line. Whether or not their defensive unit can stay healthy for a whole season is the big question and may be key to whether or not they are a true contender in the NFC Central this season.

After breezing to victory over Master Reid's "other" favorite team last week (that statement would be clever if Drew Brees was our QB), Green Bay is also is sitting at 2-0 and tied with Chicago at the top of the NFC Central. In spite of the 34-7 shalacking, the Green Bay offense still does not seem to be operating on all cylinders. If you're a "glass half full guy", you're thinking, wow.....we're 2-0, just blew out Buffalo by 27, and our offense STILL isn't playing to it's full potential! This is going to be a great season! If you're a "glass half empty guy", you're thinking Rodgers may have been overhyped coming into this season and isn't quite ready for "elite" QB status, and that Ryan Grant's injury may be more significant than what was first thought as Brandon Jackson is only averaging 3.2 ypc (2.6 ypc without his 18 yard longest carry). Personally, I'm sitting between half full and half empty. I do think Rodgers will improve his accuracy and cut down on interceptions, but I am concerned about our running game. If Green Bay cannot establish any sort of a consistent running game, the pressure goes squarely on Rodgers, thus allowing opposing defenses to focus more on stopping the passing game and attacking the quarterback. In relation to this, how effective is Bulaga going to be now that he is our starting left tackle? This week should be a good test for Bulaga as he will likely be squaring off against the crafty vet Peppers.

So what is my prediction? Offensively, Green Bay gets the edge here. Defensively, I would say the teams are roughly equal, with a slight edge going towards Green Bay mainly due to Baffoon's man crush Clay "The Truth" Matthews who seems to wreak havoc on every other play. Vegas seems to agree with me as they are making Green Bay a 3 point favorite even though they are on the road against a 2-0 team. In spite of the fact that I think Green Bay is the better team, I think that this is going to be a very tough game! Chicago is going to come out fired up in front of their MNF home crowd and look to pounce on us early. Like most tough road games, I think early success (whether it be a score on offense or stop on defense) is key. Quiet the crowd early and don't let Chicago get a big momentum swing. For whatever reason this Chicago Bears team, whether they are good or bad at the time, feeds on momentum throughout the game more than any other team I have watched. They love to make big plays on defense and special teams, and their offense seems to respond directly to this. That being said, I think the #1 key to the game is the turnover battle. If Green Bay can win this, they have a great shot at taking sole possession of 1st place in the division. The last thing you want to do is let Urlacher snag one of Rodgers passes and get the fib-filled crowd all fired up. While it may not be an obvious choice, I think Key #2 is the running game. Neither team has been able to establish much of a run game through 2 games, but if 1 of these teams can get it going, their QB will automatically be more dangerous than they already are. In the end, I think the Green Bay D forces Cutler into a few mistakes and Chicago's weak offensive line play will prevent Forte from doing much on the ground. Due to this, Green Bay gets the W 27-20......so for all of you gambling degenerates out there, this means you should give Chicago those measly 3 points and take that easy money to the bank!

Road to Super Bowl for GB?

2010-09-10T09:39:00.003-05:00

The NFL regular season is officially underway, and if you're a Green Bay fan, it got off to a striking start! Not only did Minnesota lose, which gives Green Bay an early opportunity take an early division lead with a W over Philadelphia on Sunday, but Brett Favre looked out of sync as well. Expectations are high for Green Bay this year as they seem to be a trendy Super Bowl pick for many of the talking heads throughout the nation, but I remain hesitant. The way Minnesota came out last night gave my confidence in GB winning the division a bit of a boost, but I still have too many concerns regarding our offensive line play/fragility and our defense's inability to stop any form of an offense. So as we approach the opener, what do we expect to see on Sunday?

Philadelphia, like Green Bay, is loaded with young talent.....but, unlike Green Bay, Philly ALWAYS manages to put together one of the league's top defensive units. I like Philly's potential. Kevin Kolb appears to be one of the league's next star QB's as the Eagles let a good QB in Donovan McNabb walk away, and is supported by a talented young trio of pass catchers in DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, and Brent Celek. To continue this youthful trend, LeSean McCoy stars in the backfield and looks like he solidify their backfield for years. The theme that I see in all of this is youth.......meaning unproven. I like the direction that their organization is taking, but due to their youth and inexperience, I think Green Bay will prove to be too much for them. As I previously stated, I'm not too confident in our defense. However, the one thing that GB is good at is forcing turnovers, and I think a young QB in Kevin Kolb is prime for the pickens. Look for Green Bay to blitz early and often with the likes of Clay Matthews and Woodson off the corner in hopes of forcing Kolb into a mistake. In addition to this, and something that could facilitate our defense's ability to force Kolb into a mistake, the Green Bay offense needs to get on the board early. Come out sharp, quiet the crowd, and put Kolb in an early hole. This will allow our offense to dictate the game......something that I have GREAT confidence in! All that said, I predict that Green Bay gets the W 27-17..........so for all you gambling degenerates, that means you should give Philly those measly 3 points and take that easy money to the bank.

How Much Do We Still Hate These Guys?

2010-08-30T16:20:00.005-05:00

Last year, I openly questioned where the majority of Green Bay Packers fans were placing their priorities. I stated my feelings about the insanity that most people fall into when the topic of the Packers' head coach and general manager. After that post, the Pack went on to win 6 of their last 7 games to finish the season 11-5 and make the postseason. Obviously, the playoff game in Arizona did not go quite as we had hoped, but it looked like the team took a huge leap forward. The players, who couldn't play, that the one idiot drafted, played... and played well. The quarterback that no one wanted suddenly emerged as a near elite level NFL quarterback. The offensive scheme that the other idiot put in place, which would never work, worked. Now national pundits are extolling the Packers a potential Super Bowl team in 2010. This should be exactly the image rehab that the Thompson/McCarthy regime needed... right?

But in listening to the thoughts of the local fandom via talk radio, blog comments, etc., I get the impression that that isn't the case at all. People inside the state of Wisconsin seem to have a far more negative outlook of the team than do those that cover it on a national level. When the fuck has that ever happened before? Aren't Packers fans usually the ones saying that people need to watch out for the Packers, when those big-time media types are writing them off? This seems like a bit of a reversal in the normal trend. And I can't help but think that this general resentment towards both Thompson and McCarthy. If that "Do you want the Packers to lose sot that Ted and Mike get canned" question were posed again today, I wonder if the response would be any different than it was in November of last year?

I don't know what's going to happen with the season. My own opinion is that they are going to be pretty damn good. But what I do know is that there's still something amiss in Packerland. The whole vibe is like one of a couple where one cheated on the other, but they didn't break up. They got back together, and they tell everyone that everything is OK. But it's not OK. Every time you're in the room with them, you can just tell that they're just putting on a good face and trying not to let the tension ruin everyone else's good time. But behind closed doors, they're both just waiting for the other to slip up so they can say "AHA!! See, I knew it, I knew you were no good!"

So where do we come down on this now? Who will you be rooting for this year: The Packers or these guys? Personally I'll be rooting for the Packers to go Jake Taylor on everyone and win the whole fuckin' thing. If for nothing else than to just see people's reactions.

Manny Parra Ruined My Sunday

2010-08-22T21:08:00.006-05:00

Nothing quite like battling traffic through construction in Kenosha and dodging the future mother-in-law's comments about my health (hangover) to get to Miller Park and see another frustrating effort by Manny Parra. His "stuff" truly sucks. Maybe Prince should shake Manny up a bit again... might motivate him a little.

The effort was so terrible that I texted Va Jay Jay suggesting that Manny's batting music should be switched to "Undone" by Weezer. At least I was able to get a good chuckle when I saw the Brewers.com game summary.

It might be time to consider letting Cappy get a start.

Joe Mauer Threat, Not Really A Threat At All... Just German.

2010-08-21T13:18:00.005-05:00

It turns out that a post from a White Sox fan threatening death to Joe Mauer on an SBNation blog was not really a threat at all. The "Die Mauer"post was actually a compliment much like the compliment Sideshow Bob made by tattooing "Die Bart, die" on his chest.

Honestly, why would anyone ever think that someone who speaks German could intend to harm somebody?

The real threat here is Joe Mauer and his God damned sideburns; he's corrupting America's youth.

shocking

2010-08-17T10:05:00.004-05:00

In what has become an unfortunate trend, Doug Melvin and the Milwaukee Brewers have AGAIN managed to swing and miss on a 1st round selection of a starting pitcher. Unlike the previous circumstances where the selections have "busted" due to things such as weed, injuries, or flat out ineffectiveness, this years selection of Dylan Covey has failed due to diabetes! What next???? Question....when evaluating prospects leading up to the draft, do you not evaluate their health before ultimately deciding to select them? Maybe taking a blood sample isn't common practice, but considering that as an organization you are not only investing the million dollar signing bonuses that get paid to 1st rounders, but you are also investing in their talent as being a contributor to what hopefully is a winning ball club in the future, I then suggest that you fully evaluate each player's health. I understand that in the end Milwaukee will be reimbursed their selection of 15thish in next year's draft, but considering the time that it takes for pitching prospects to emerge from the minor league system and the fact that our "young" team isn't exactly young anymore, pushing back the drafting of a starting pitcher another full year is flat out disheartening. When can this organization catch a break with these early round selections? It is becoming evident that Doug Melvin & Co. simply cannot put together a quality starting staff with home grown talent.....or via free agency for that matter. This additional black mark on their resume only reiterates the need to trade Prince Fielder.....whether it be for an established and quality starting pitcher or for a pitching prospect(s). Unfortunately Melvin's history with trades hasn't exactly been extraordinary so I'm not holding my breath regarding this scenario.

I Heart This Man.

2010-08-10T10:46:00.003-05:00

Brandon Phillips, I'll tumble for you.

Referring to the Uptight Citizens of St. Louis, B-Phil sez:

“I’d play against these guys on one leg,” Phillips told Hal McCoy, a columnist for the Dayton Daily News. “We have to beat these guys. All they do is b—- and moan about everything, all of them. They’re little b——s, all of them. I really hate the Cardinals. Compared to the Cardinals, I love the Chicago Cubs. Let me make this clear: I hate the Cardinals.”

Doug Melvin, GET ME THIS MAN.

(With love to KL for the link.)

We Have a Trade

2010-08-09T16:48:00.004-05:00

The Milwaukee Brewers finally found a dance partner.....and they found this partner in their own division. The Cincinnati Redlegs agreed to send the underachieving 27 year old "prospect" Chris Dickerson to Milwaukee for aging vet Jim Edmonds. Whatever. Not exactly an organizatioin changing event, but I'll take it. It appears that whatever the organization saw in Carlos Gomez was an illusion, so center field is definitely a position of need. Locally, and when I say "locally" I mean Cincinnati of course, the Reds fan base is not at all happy with the deal. Dickerson has been one of the up and comers for years, but health problems have limited his overall production and consistency which has prevented a prolonged stay in the bigs. This season, though, he has been playing well in tripleA......enough that I recall many reds fans on the local AM's discussing how he should be called up to be a contributor for the playoff run.

While Dickerson is already 27, I think that overall it's a good move for Milwaukee. Moving Edmonds is a low to no risk move and considering our center field situation, why not gamble on Dickerson. He has showed flashes of good offensive ability, speed on the basepaths, and is solid in the field. He'll have roughly 8 weeks to show what he can do which essentially will be an audition for next season. So as I previously stated....I'll take it.

Fat Fest 2010

2010-08-08T14:25:00.006-05:00

Little needs to be explained about this other than the fact that Sheets Va Jay came up huge this past Friday night while I was out with old Whitewater football cronies, Sheets, you DA MAN. It was almost as big as the comeback the Brew crew had down 4 in the ninth to win. Come to think of it, the crew has done some good things this weekend, Prince walk off on Friday, Hoffman save on Saturday, and as I am writing this, the crew is up 8-2 in the 3rd inning looking for the sweep. Dare I say, that's a winning streak Bob, however, too little too late for any post season run, but good nonetheless. O, in Sunday's no shit Sherlock sports column of the Urinal Sentinal, Mark Attanasio announces that the Brewers are going to lose money this year. "Hi, I'm Earth have we met?" We can thank the great pitching staff for losing all those games this year and causing people to stay home to watch American Idol or You Think You Can Dance, instead of going to the ballpark. Maybe Doug Davis and Randy Wolf can give some cash back to pay for some free tickets and/or bobbleheads? I'm guessing not though, those asshats.

REVITALIZE!!!!

2010-08-04T20:20:00.006-05:00

In an effort to revitalize the war weary blog, Quevedo at the Buffet, I have been finally asked to contribute to the Buffet on a full time basis. My expertise really will be all things football and I have a keen eye for the guys who play on Sundays wearing the green and gold. However, at times I will spar my two sense now and again where need be. Now, on with the show. I couldn't help but mention this ridiculous story coming out of Deadspin about this hot broad Jenn Stenger getting weenus shots from our apparent favorite sexting football super hero Brett Lorenzo Favre. If you haven't read it, its worth the time just to check out the chick's who ha's. O and by the way, Pound Sand Favre.

Why I'm Down on the Corey Hart Extension.

2010-08-03T11:08:00.011-05:00

I realized that I made an overly-emphatic case against the Corey Hart extension at The Jack last night -- fueled, in part, by our barkeep's exaggerated yet inspiring rant against Kate Winslet. Anyway, now that I've had time to work through this a little more, here are my concerns.

Below are the league-average (NL) "slash" splits by position, as compared to the "slash" splits of the Brewer who plays that position:

Position	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS	Brewer	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
Catcher	.256	.331	.390	.721	Jon Lucroy	.270	.301	.350	.651
First baseman	.274	.358	.465	.824	Prince Fielder	.267	.400	.499	.899
Second baseman	.266	.333	.392	.725	Rickie Weeks	.274	.372	.486	.858
Third baseman	.268	.337	.427	.765	Casey McGehee	.272	.337	.446	.783
Shortstop	.263	.325	.375	.700	Alcides Escobar	.250	.304	.336	.640
Left fielder	.266	.335	.435	.769	Ryan Braun	.281	.334	.463	.797
Center fielder	.261	.330	.410	.740	Carlos Gomez	.228	.286	.350	.635
Right fielder	.265	.335	.449	.784	Corey Hart	.294	.350	.568	.917

Note a couple of things, if you would:

(1) Corey Hart's having a banner year, for sure, but the league-average SLG and OPS numbers for right field are the second-highest on this list behind first base. Point is: a slugging right fielder isn't exactly a rare commodity.

(2) Conversely, a slugging second baseman -- who's also outpacing the league-average OBP for his position by forty points -- is a rare commodity. Part of the reason I don't like the extension for Hart is that it makes it that much more difficult to sign Weeks to an extension, and second basemen with 25-homer, .370-OBP potential don't exactly grow on trees.

(3) The Big Point: At every position save for C, SS, and CF, the Brewers are outstripping the league-average OPS for the respective position -- and, in some cases (1B, even with Prince's depressed slugging numbers; 2B, with Rickie's brea ... nope, not going to say it; and RF, with Corey Hart's career year), they're far ahead of the league-average OPS.*

*As my boy KL pointed out, the better-than-league-average OPS numbers are due, in large part, to the higher slugging numbers for Brewers like Braun, Hart, and McGehee. The numbers don't look as good when you compare average OBP by position to the individual Brewers' OBPs (Braun and McGehee are right at league average, Gomez and Esky and Jon Lucroy are well below league average, and Hart's just a shade above league average), but that's not the point of the post.

And yet, and still, we're 10 games under .500 this year, a year after it took a great year from Braun, very good years from McGehee and Weeks/Counsell/Felipe Lopez, and a sublime campaign from Prince to finish two games under .500. This team, as currently constructed, will not contend.

We need pitching, and we need it desperately. It's not coming from the free agent market -- in part because that market is going to be shit after the 2010 season, and in part because Doug Melvin can't identify solid free agent pitchers -- and the farm system isn't producing anyone in the near future. And we just took our biggest in-season trade chit, who was at peak value and who could be easily replaced (either from in-house or by a veteran on a short-term deal) ... and signed him to a three-year extension.

This isn't how you build a winning baseball team.

Oh, The Things I Saw Last Night

2010-08-03T07:27:00.005-05:00

A quick run down of last night's action at Wrigley Field:

-The Brewers offense and defense came alive at the same time providing a 26 hit 18 run performance while only surrendering 1 run to the Chubs. This could have been a bigger drubbing given that the Crew left 15 on base.

-Hart, Braun, and Fielder combining for 14 hits.

-Carlos Gomez doing his best Rickie Weeks impersonation by getting drilled in consecutive at bats; once in the head and it looked pretty effing brutal.

-Alcides Escobar doing a solid job playing center field.

-Trevor Hoffman taking his 34th career at bat in the 9th inning. I have to say, his swing didn't look that terrible.

-The interior of the Wrigley Stadium Club. While the food was good, the view sucks. Nothing like building a fine-dining facility where the only window looks out onto the corner of Addison and Sheffield.

-An Ice Fishing With Kirby sighting.

-Douchey Cubs fans.

-Scantily-clad, over-served, coeds on a Monday night.

-Several over-served mom-types with new and improved mounds that they were more than happy to flaunt.

Desperation Is A Stinky Cologne

2010-08-01T13:27:00.005-05:00

The Brewers, who have managed to:

-Let the trade deadline pass without trading Corey Hart at what was likely the height of his value.

-Fail to move Prince who is now just winding down rest of his time in Milwaukee as his trade value rides along a time-based return curve.

-Go on a 4 game skid leaving them 10.5 games back (with Wolfy on the mound today, I don't have much confidence that this trend will change).

Have now decided to let Mat Gamel play right field and 1st base at AAA Nashville in hopes of expediting his promotion to the Majors. This is a major CYA move for the Crew who will likely be losing Prince and Corey Hart after 2011.

Given Mat Gamel's injury history, I'm hoping this attempt at versatility is to increase his trade value.

Inglett Emerges As New Closer

2010-07-28T10:02:00.004-05:00

Probably not but still a 1-2-3 ninth inning from our utility guy who showed off his testicular fortitude by replying to Macha "I'll go do that".

Not since Henry Rowengartner secured the Cubs a division win with his floater has a pitcher gotten by with "high stinky cheese" in the 56 mph range.

Much like Fabio was once honored to be recognized as the best Actor/Model rather than Model/Actor, I'm sure Inglett will be honored to be recognized for the Best All-Around Utility Performance rather than being called a Slugger/Pitcher (what ever happened to the Kiesch?).

Because We Can't Hate On The ENTIRE Pitching Staff

2010-07-23T08:41:00.005-05:00

Way to go Yo! Six shutout innings on a limited pitch count. Unbelievable.

Nothing like showing those Pirates that a stint on the DL can only make you stronger. You took that ball and basically said "Here, you want this? You can't have it! I poop on you".

Bushie would have been lucky to make it through 5 innings on a 100 pitch limit. And, I think we all know that "shutout" is not part of his vocabulary.

Thank you, Yo, for giving me a glimmer of hope.

Cut This Asshole, Take Two.

2010-07-22T06:49:00.003-05:00

You see this face?

This is the face of the man who's going to get Doug Melvin fired.

It's not going to happen this season, of course -- Mark A. has made it more than clear that he's got a buttload of faith in Dougy Fresh -- but, if things keep going like this, I think Melvin's gone after 2011, and 2012 at the latest.

Why? Because if you can't identify young pitching talent in the draft (and have the staff in place to develop that talent in the minors), you have to be able to identify free agent pitching talent. We already knew that Melvin was a disaster with regard to the former. On the heels of the Jeff Suppan fiasco, the Randy Wolf debacle has all but cemented Melvin as a disaster with regard to the latter.

That ginger goatee is going to haunt Doug Melvin's dreams.

Cut This Asshole.

2010-07-21T09:31:00.003-05:00

If you let the Pirates Frackin' Pirates bat around on you in the first inning -- and you give up a walk, three singles, three doubles, and a grand slam home run -- that's grounds for immediate termination. And, no, I don't much give a shit that Casey McGehee clanked two grounders in the same inning, because Slapnuts gave up three more doubles after that.

Oh, but he had six quality starts before this, you say.

I will say this slowly:

Dave Bush.

Is Not.

A Good Pitcher.

He will occasionally bluff his way into a six-inning, three-run outing, and you'll think: "Well, I guess that could've been worse." Lest you forget: Bush can't throw more than 100 pitches in an outing (it's science, apparently), so six innings, three runs is about the best you can hope for when he's on the mound.

And he makes stupid faces when he throws the ball. Close your mouth before you swallow a fly, bulldog.

After 3 Years, Pennies From Heaven Routine Is A Winner!

2010-07-20T10:10:00.005-05:00

Segway-riding pitcher Chris Capuano made his second major league start of the 2010 season and earned his first win since May 7, 2007.

5 innings pitched, 3 hits, 1 ER, 1BB, 4 SO. All that on 65 pitches, 37 for strikes, not a bad night. The other pitches? Those are balls! (except for the hits)

Some credit should be given to the bullpen which managed to preserve Cappy's win. Including John Axford who decided to make it a little interesting in the 9th (anyone think Cappy would have ripped off his mustache if he'd blown it?).

After 30 appearances without recording a "W", a 13 game losing streak, two Tommy John surgeries, and a number of hurdles that had to be overcome on his road to recovery, I can honestly say that I'm happy for the guy.

It's the coolest! You ain't cool unless you pee your pants!

2010-07-14T14:33:00.010-05:00

The Quevedo at the Buffet is cool again! Well, I think it should be anyways. Since the arrival of our latest baby, the "Anonymous Eagle" (found at http://www.anonymouseagle.com/), I feel that we have completely neglected the "QB". So much so, that until the most recent giant burger post, it has been a month since the last meeting of the minds. That being said, I am going to make an effort to revive this S.O.B.! Some don't think that it can be done. They say I'm too old and simply can't hack it anymore. They say I don't have perfect hair and am not wacky and upbeat enough to initiate such a renaissance. Well, you know what I think? I think I'd like to hang around and see if we can give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat! So without further ado, here is my first attempt at a viagara-like remedy for everyone's favorite blog, the "Quevedo at the Buffet":

Here we are in the dog days of summer. It's July 19th and the Brewers are lulling us to sleep with their 9 game's under 0.500 record. Marquette basketball is all but dormant, with the only excitement coming from a glorified game of pick up in the Milwaukee Pro Am at Homestead High School. The Packers will be beginning training camp in the next couple of weeks, but since Brett Favre left, we don't have to sit around and discuss whether or not his appearance at the local Mississippi high school football practice means he's coming back this season. And, the Bucks......well, I know, it's the NBA. All that said, it is a VERY tough time to get a heated debate going. In spite of this, I'm going to grab the bull by the horns and use a recent road trip discussion that I had with some of our constituents.

As I previously stated, the Brewers aren't doing so hot. Not only are they not doing hot, they're kind of in a bad position from a "building for the future" perspective.....ie. they're wasting another year of Prince Fielder's bat. The Brewers have Prince locked up through the 2011 season, but then have to deal with everyone's favorite agent, Scott Boras. Attanasio and Co. have tried to avoid this scenario by locking him up early, ala Ryan Braun, but Boras doesn't work that way. He knows the best way to get paid is to let people fight over you, and word on the street is that he will be looking for a Mark Texeira-like deal that will have Prince earn about 20-25 mil for 5-7 years. Yeah, something tells me that's not in Attanasio's budget. And I'm not the only one to realize this. Prince was briefly discussed throughout the baseball rumor mill leading up to last year's trade deadline. The guy was tearing the cover off the ball and averaging roughly 43 HR's and 120 RBI's between the '07-'09 seasons. In my opinion, his trade value wasn't going to get any higher. Who knows if anyone offered, or who was offered for that matter, but in the end it was all smoke as Prince is still in Milwaukee. Here we are a year later, and sure enough, Prince seems to be a hot topic on Buster Olney's list of trade prospects. According to Buster, the two most probable suitors are the Chicago White Sox and Tampa Bay Rays. The Rays option actually made a bit of sense as Olney pointed out that Tampa Bay has desirable pitching prospects in the waiting and only have one year remaining on Carl Crawford's deal meaning they may push all in for a run.

I for one am completely for dealing him. I think he should have been dealt last season, but I understood the fact that Milwaukee still had an outside shot at making a playoff run this season with the current roster and SP addition. Now that that's out the window, I simply think that we are running out of time and need to heavily consider dealing him asap. I'd hate to still have him 1 year from now and let teams lowball us in trade offers knowing that all we might see is a compensatory pick if we lose him. One of the big chips that we still have in our pockets with him is that he still does have 1 "cheap" year remaining on his current deal. Not to mention the remaining 2 months for any playoff contending team. Now I don't have any clue as to who is on the market and I've lost reception to the wire tap that I had to Melvin's cell phone, so I don't know who's calling with what. Further, I don't know a damn about Triple/DoubleA ball, so I don't really know who the hot prospects are. All I know is that I want pitching. Pitching, Pitching, Pitching, and more pitching. Now I know many of you will say that 1) everybody wants pitching which makes it very $$$$$ or 2) if teams have pitching, they simply hold onto it. I'll partially agree with you, but refer you to some recent deals such as Josh Hamilton for Edison Volques and the most recent Justin Smoak and a case of blatz for Cliff Lee deal. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mind having Gallardo and Lee/Volquez pitching 2 out of every 5 games.

The trade deadline will be here in no time meaning this team could look very different come August. Okay, go ahead and rip away.

OHMYGOD A HUGE FUCKING BURGER

2010-07-12T16:30:00.002-05:00

Why did I put a huge fucking burger as a backdrop for the blog?

Bored.

And we haven't posted in a month. It was either the burger or a poor Photoshop of a fat dude on life support.

Shrug.

What's That? Brewers Win?!

2010-06-09T07:44:00.005-05:00

And I didn't get to see it because effing CSN+ had technical difficulties in the bottom of the 9th inning. Instead, I was treated to this AWESOME graphic (that actually pretty accurately sums up the season for both teams) and some really poor quality audio of the game.

Thanks for nothing Comcast!

You Know What They Say ...

2010-06-07T13:48:00.003-05:00

... better three months late than never: the Soup has officially been tossed out of the pantry.

If this had happened, say, at the end of spring training, I could probably muster a shit or two. But, with the move coming with the Brewers languishing at 23-34 -- and a half-game behind the fuckin' Pirates in the standings -- and the season torpedoed, I'm having a tough time getting excited about this.

Shitty team cuts shitty pitcher. Wheeeeeeee.

Have You Looked at Your Payroll Recently?

2010-06-07T09:11:00.002-05:00

SB Nation -- the braintrust behind our little baby, Anonymous Eagle, and about 3,982 other fan-run sports blogs -- launched some regional sites last night, and two of the head cheeses at SB Nation talked to the New York Times about the company, their philosophy on covering sports, the niche the SBN sites fill, and the ingredients for a good marmalade.
Buried in that article is a quote from Marty Kaiser, the editor of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

“As long as we have the reporters to cover the teams better than anyone else, we’ve got a place in the future,” said Marty Kaiser, editor of The Journal Sentinel of Milwaukee and a former sports editor for The Chicago Sun-Times.

Mr. Kaiser: this is a picture of one of the reporters your newspaper employs:

You may wish to revise your statement.

Dear Jeff Suppan...

2010-06-03T12:50:00.002-05:00

Please take a cue from Mr. Griffey:

"While I feel I am still able to make a contribution on the field and nobody in the Mariners front office has asked me to retire, I told the Mariners when I met with them prior to the 2009 season and was invited back that I will never allow myself to become a distraction," Griffey said.

"I feel that without enough occasional starts to be sharper coming off the bench, my continued presence as a player would be an unfair distraction to my teammates and their success as a team is what the ultimate goal should be," he said.

Here I'll even do the editing for you:

"While I feel I am still able to make a contribution on the field and nobody in the Brewers front office has asked me to retire, I told the Brewers when I met with them prior to the 2007 season and was invited back that I will never allow myself to become a distraction," Suppan said.

"I feel that without enough occasional appearances to be sharper coming out of the bullpen, my continued presence as a player would be an unfair distraction to my teammates and their success as a team is what the ultimate goal should be," he said.

INSTANT REPLAY...

2010-06-02T23:05:00.005-05:00

Two words that strike a chord with any baseball purist, but after tonight's blown call you are going to have a hard time defending why baseball shouldn't use more instant replay. Over the past few years there have been multiple instances of just obviously wrong calls. I understand the human element of baseball and I'm not saying instant replay should be used for ball/strike calls, but more objective calls such as fair/foul and safe/out should be reviewable plays. Allow the manager a challenge or two. I guarantee that the majority of the games won't even have instant replays but there has to be a mechanism in place to correct obviously incorrect calls.

The call by Jim Joyce is a disgrace and its just another recent example of umpires inserting themselves into the game and the spotlight. A bad call cost Gallaraga something that has only happened 20 times in the history of major league baseball and there's nothing anybody can do about it but bitch, whine, and apologize. After the Willie Mayes catch in center for the first out it seemed meant to be. Aren't there unwritten rules in baseball that say a pitcher with a 3-0 perfect game with 2 outs in the 9th and a bang-bang play at first would get the call to complete the perfect game?

Anyway, now that I'm done bitching, whining, and apologizing, it got me to thinking about the near no-hitter that Yo threw against the Reds I think. Aside from the perfect game vs. a no-hitter comparison, which would be worse: losing a no-hitter/perfect game because of a blown umpire call or because of a bad scoring decision? I'd give the edge to blown umpire call because safe/out is less subjective than a official scorers ruling.

Memorial Day, Memorable Indeed

2010-05-31T15:27:00.009-05:00

Happy Memorial Day to all the great men and women serving the USA!

And it was a memorable day for Chris Narveson who entered somewhat uncharted territory for the Brewers starting rotation by pitching into the 6th inning today. Unfortunately, the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show which is to say that, after 5 scoreless innings, the results in the 6th were not nearly as good. Narveson chose to pull a Manny Parra by losing command of the strike zone and giving up 5 runs. Chuckie New Town then came in to complete the 6th by giving up dos mas runs; nice work.

Speaking of Manny Parra and memorable days, Parra will be bumped back to the bullpen in hopes his good stuff will redevelop into starting material. This makes space in the rotation for the triumphant resurrection of Segway riding Chris Capuano's career. Props to the Brewers brass for sticking with Cappy and giving him a chance to be a starter as soon as possible.

As noted in Tom Haudricourt's piece on Parra/Cappy, decisions still loom on several pitchers within the organization. Things could get interesting within the next couple of weeks*.

*Update: Things got interesting a lot sooner than I thought. The Brewers are promoting Kameron Loe meaning another pitcher will be leaving the bullpen. They could make a Survivor-esque reality game show based on our pitching staff.

It is Time for Jeff Suppan to Go.

2010-05-30T21:59:00.005-05:00

People have been screaming for Suppan to get the axe for about 2 years now. I have not been one of them. It's not that I'm a Suppan fan or anything. In fact I was adamantly against signing him back in 2006. But I'm realistic. I knew that he would be given far more chances than he warranted, because of his contract, his relationship with the owner, and the amount of respect that people within the organization have for the guy. So railing against the man has been pointless. I've just bit my lip, crossed my fingers and hoped he did something to justify those opportunities. But all along, I knew the day would come that the Brewers would be forced to unload Suppan and eat that damn contract. That day arrived today.

I sat at Miller Park today and watched Jeff Suppan come into a tie game and promptly fall apart... again. I said to anyone that would listen that this was the deal breaker. Today's outing illustrated, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that it is time to be rid Suppan. And this isn't your run of the mill, "Suppan sucks" rant, where some jerk-off will yell and scream about how terrible Jeff Suppan is. I think very highly of Jeff Suppan. I think he is really is a great guy. His work in the community has been well documented. Every person that I have ever met that has had any contact with him has raved about what a nice guy he is. An illustration of that point: Two years ago my wife's sisters went down to spring training on a mission to get every Brewer's autograph on a jersey, that they then framed and gave to us as a wedding gift. In all their encounters with Brewers that spring, telling the story of how it was a wedding gift countless times, Suppan was the only one player actually appeared to care. He asked them about the jersey and the wedding, and said "Well, tell them I say congratulations!" While this is just one little encounter, and not a huge deal in the grand scheme, I think it gives us an indication of what kind of guy Soup is.

However, he is no longer a capable major league pitcher worthy of occupying a Milwaukee Brewers' roster spot, and today was the perfect illustration. Suppan entered in the 6th, with the game tied at 2. He got the first out, and then got into trouble. He ended up intentionally walking Jose Reyes with 2 down, to load the bases and bring up Luis Castillo. The Mets fan in front of me stood up and yelled "Castillo, if you can't hit this guy you just can't hit!" How true. Castillo lines one back through the middle, 2 runs score. Soup has always been a guy that works in and out of trouble, and he had his chance to wriggle off the hook today. But he didn't do it, and I don't know that he can do it.

Soup then got the ball again for the 7th. Things quickly went from frustrating, to downright depressing. After striking out Ike Davis (on what appeared to be a generous strike 3 call), Suppan began throwing BP. David Wright doubled to deep left. Then Angel Pagan homered to right center. Then Jeff Francoeur doubled. All very well hit balls. And the boos poured down in buckets. Rick Peterson popped out of the dugout, and the crowd cheered. When he returned to the dugout without removing Suppan, the crowd booed lustily. Soup then walked Hank White, and nearly botched fielding a sac bunt by the pitcher. Then Macha emerged, the crowd cheered, and Suppan exited to yet another chorus of boos from the home fans. It really felt like that was the last time we'd see Jeff Suppan in an Brewers uniform. His final line: 1.2 inning, 4 runs on 6 hits and 2 walks.

Now it can be argued that Soup shouldn't have been out there in the first place. Or that he definitely shouldn't have been sent out for the 2nd inning. But that just makes it even more apparent that he needs to go. Throughout the course of a major league season, every guy in that bullpen is going to have to contribute. Suppan's role, ostensibly, is to be the "long man", a guy that can go out and cover multiple innings. And in a game where the starter only goes 5, and the previous night's starter only went 3, that "long man" is going to be called upon to get through a couple innings. But Soup can't be trusted in any game that is close, or even semi-close. The only time it is safe to put him in is when you're down big early. The Brewers are carrying a $12 millon mop-up man. There is no point to continuing to lug around a pitcher that can't be used in games that matter. The fact that they even brought him in today, appeared to be a sort of audition scenario. Almost like they were giving him that one last chance, to prove that he was worth his roster spot.

With the looming opt-out deadline for Kameron Loe, who has been pitching well in Nashville, it appears to be the time to finally pull the trigger on this move. The Brewers don't have the luxury of keeping Suppan around and letting someone who may be able to contribute walk away. It's true that the team will be eating the remainder of his contract if he goes, but that's pretty much what they're doing now. What's the difference between paying him to not pitch and sit home, or paying him to not pitch and sit in the bullpen? I'm sorry it has to happen to such a good guy, but the reality of the situation was apparent today. It is time for Soup to go.

Brewers Purchase Segway

2010-05-29T09:15:00.008-05:00

First and foremost, way to go Yo! Your complete game shutout gave the bullpen a much needed rest. And Corey Hart's first career walk-off homer decided the pitchers duel between Yo and Johan; nice work. Could this be the tipping point that brings back Rubie's too-tight sausage-stained Corey Hart retro jersey tee and a resurgence of the "Corey Hart I am a man club"? Probably not but who knows with all the goofy shit that has gone on this season.

On an important pitching note, the Brewers have purchased the contract of Segway riding bionic man Chris Capuano. Props to Cappy for making it back but it's a sad statement about the state of our pitching staff that I'm excited to have someone called up after two Tommy John surgeries and 30 months of recovery. He was impressive with Triple-A Nashville posting a 1-1 record with a 1.80 ERA in 25 innings; let's hope he proves to be durable. Corresponding roster move is TBD... Jeff Suppan?

Freckles Isn't Coming Back.

2010-05-25T09:00:00.003-05:00

Unless we give her a reason to, and what's a better reason than ... SPIN-OFFS!

I have two LOST spin-offs that I need to see:

(1) Continuing the story from the purgatory / sideways / bizarro realm, Sawyer and Miles as LAPD officers.

(2) Continuing the story from the end of the island narrative, bossman Hurley and super sidekick Ben run the island. MR. CLUCK'S COMES TO THE SOUTH PACIFIC.

What else ya got?

FRECKLES COME BACK!

2010-05-24T13:31:00.005-05:00

FRECKLES PLEASE COME BACK. It's only been, like, 12 hours but still that's long enough. Please come back to the island, there's no more Smoke Monster, everything is safe and you can go swimming in your skivvies and it'll be a great time with very little chance of death or maiming, etc., etc., etc.

PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE?

Apocalypse Wow!

2010-05-21T19:42:00.001-05:00

Today's sign of impending doom brought to you from Target Field where Jeff Suppan has just entered the game in relief of Bushy... In the bottom of the 1st inning.

Game over?

The Magic Is Back.

2010-05-14T07:27:00.002-05:00

It's no secret that the Buffet has hit a bit of a rut lately. Between the birth of our new baby, work, tax season, kids, and the pending nuptials of Mr. Sparkle and Sheets' Va Jay Jay (respectively, of course; they're not marrying each other -- not that there's anything wrong with that), it's been tough to find time to create any worthwhile content.

Throw in the fact that the Brewers, at this point, are who we thought they were (around .500, capable of being very good in stretches, capable of being very, very bad in stretches, no threat to contend for the playoffs), and there isn't a lot to say that hasn't been said before. Jon Hart still swings at sliders in the dirt. The pitching still isn't good enough. Jeff Suppan still is a sunk cost, though he's now sunk at the end of the 'pen. Ken Macha still looks like Leslie Nielsen, and manages the team as well as Mr. Nielsen tended to the passengers in Airplane! Ho hum.

BUT ... all that might be about to change: KING NED IS BACK.

The Kansas City Royals apparently decided there are levels of Hell they've not yet explored, so they canned manager Trey Hillman after a month-and-a-half and turned the reins over to His Majesty, His Highness, His Over-Caffeinated and High-Strung Worshipfulness, Nedly Yost III.

This means more Yostys! This means more dugout confrontations. This means more talk of pitchers walking the park and fielding their position well.

Nobody else will be watching, but we will. We've missed you so, Ned. Welcome back.

Soup Is For Closers?

2010-04-28T07:12:00.005-05:00

In the wake of Trevor Hoffman Gagneing away another game in spectacular fashion, it's clear that the "sample size" argument -- i.e., it's early, he's had a lot of success over the years, you can't make an informed decision about whether Hoffman is cooked after six (or so) games -- can be stuffed in a sack.

He's done. He has one plus pitch, and he refuses to throw it, instead opting for an 84-mph fastball that doesn't move (at least until it's hit out of the stadium). In the month of April, he's given up twice as many homers (5) as he did all of last season (2). Yes, he looked great last season, but, for some athletes, the end sometimes comes very quickly and with little advance warning. Hoffman looks like he fits in that category.

The M&M boys have made a number of moves based on the results of a few games (or, in the case of spring training, a few irrelevant games), removing Suppan from the rotation after two starts, exiling Parra to the 'pen after a bad spring, plugging Narveson into the No. 5 starter spot after a handful of good starts last September, and slashing Hart's playing time because he was awful in Arizona (and because JimEd had a solid spring). So, in the interest of being consistent, Hoff has to be removed from the closer's spot.
But, who takes the slab in the ninth now? It sure as shit isn't going to be Chuck New Town, who was a light-to-moderate disaster in his brief fill-in stint for Hoffman at the beginning of last season. Parra is just getting settled into his new role, insofar as "pitching every single day, regardless of score or circumstance" qualifies as a role. Hawkins needs to figure out the eighth inning before I'll trust him in the ninth. Vargas needs to be saved to do his one-pitch, two-outs ~~trick~~ illusion. And title of this post notwithstanding, I can't begin to type the words "Jeff Suppan" without breaking into a giggle fit. That ain't happening.

That leaves Todd Coffey, who's the most logical choice and who would unquestionably have the most excellent entrance from the 'pen in the ninth. COFFEY'S FOR CLOSERS. I can get behind this.

(EDIT: Walsh is gettin' on the train:

When Awesome Happens, We Must Copy.

2010-04-19T09:17:00.002-05:00

I don't know if y'all have seen this, but, just in case you needed another reason to think that Scott Stapp -- of the legendary Wide-Open Armsed Stapps -- is the awesomest kind of awesome, he provided it last week:

Dude wrote a fight song for the Florida Marlins. It's called "Marlins Will Soar."*

* Admittedly, that's a curious verb for a song about a fish. I don't know a whole hell of a lot about marlins, but if a fish is "soaring," I think that means it got hooked and yanked out the water. And that ain't good for the fish.

This being the Internet, whenever someone comes up with a fantastic(-ly awful) idea, it is our right, if not our duty, to rip it off and make it our own. In case you haven't figured out where I'm going: we need a song like this for the Brewers. And I need your help.

In the comments, please, some verses. I'm looking for words that rhyme with "Molitor," "Gumby," "Listach," "Ginter," and, of course, "Ruben Quevedo." With any luck, we'll get the Femmes or the BoDeans or the Gufs on this project and then we, too, can soar with Scott Stapp. Or something.

There Are Two Types Of Moments In A Baseball Game:

2010-04-12T07:16:00.003-05:00

One is the "shit happens" moment, when a guy makes a freak play that he couldn't duplicate if you gave him 100 more chances. Nick Stavinoha's one-legged, crouching seven-iron against Trevor Hoffman on Friday certainly qualifies as a "shit happens" moment.

The other type of moment is the "oh, shit" moment. For all intents and purposes, this is the exact opposite of the "shit happens" moment: it's not at all fluky. You can see it coming from a mile away. The back-to-back tape measure jobs that The Hoff gave up to Albert Pujols and Matt Holliday last night qualify as "oh, shit" moments: when you saw that Hoffman was throwing 90% fastballs, and that said fastballs weren't breaking 84 mph, all you could do was cross your fingers and hope that Pujols and Holliday would get over-anxious. But they didn't, and those fastballs went where they're supposed to go, which is to say: BYE BYE.

So far, Trevor's had two "shit" moments on the year. I hope he's getting that shit out of his system right quick, because I'm not suffering through Gagne 2.0.

YO!!!

2010-04-09T08:53:00.004-05:00

In case you live under a rock, or have an outdated web browser that only allows you to read about sports on The Buffet, there was some big news out of Brewers camp yesterday. The Crew inked 24 year-old starter Yovani Gallardo to a 5 year, $30 million deal. I think I speak for everyone around when I say HAPPY HAPPY JOY, FUCKIN' JOY!!!! This is a fantastic move for the Brewers. Professional journalist Tom Haudricourt, breaks down the deal nicely in today's JS. The new contract buys out all of Yo's arbitration years, his first year of free agency, and there's an option for the year after that. Basically the deal nicely balances the risk associated with locking up a pitcher long-term, with the player's desire to hit the free agent market if he's playing at an elite level. From my angle, I love it because: A) If Yovani's pitching at an elite level he's an absolute steal at $6 million per, B) If he's hurt or pitching poorly, then the team isn't stuck with a Suppan sized millstone around their necks, and C) If he's pitching somewhere in between 6 mil is pretty much par for the course. Add in the fact that this avoids any potential arbitration battles, and keeps him off the free agent market for at least one year, and there is a lot to love about this contract. Big ups to Brewer management! Thank you for locking up one of the game's best young pitchers!

He'll Never Read This, So I'm Not Ruining The Fun.

2010-04-08T14:40:00.003-05:00

Another JSOnline chat with Brewers beat~~box~~ reporter Anthony Witrado, another prankster gets through the gates:

Q: mccarter@gmatc.matc.edu, Milwaukee, Wisconsin - Can the Brewers re-sign Prince Fielder to a long-term deal so he can lead this team to a Championship Dynasty in the very near future at Miller Park and beyond? Can they win the National League Central Division Title and repeat as champs? I want to know.

A: Anthony Witrado - They can't repeat because they've never won it. And I don't see a dynasty in this organization's future anytime soon unless they pair up pitching like SF has with their lineup. Now you know.

Anthony: THIS IS NOT A REAL PERSON. This is someone masquerading as and mimicking Freeway.

You're only making yourself look silly by answering his questions. So, by all means, keep doing it.

Please Make This Happen

2010-04-07T08:17:00.001-05:00

NU & UW are supposedly in talks for a football series. It's hilarious that this game wouldn't be played until 2012, but the UW media is already saying it would be the Badgers' biggest nonconference game in over a decade!

http://host.madison.com/sports/college/football/article_1674fc38-41af-11df-ad42-001cc4c03286.html
http://www.omaha.com/article/20100406/BIGRED03/100409719/-1#wisconsin-nebraska-matchup-may-have-roadblocks

Suppan To DL With TNS

2010-03-31T06:23:00.005-05:00

It now appears that Jeff Suppan will NOT be the the fifth starter come Opening Day. Suppan has been placed on the disabled list (due mostly to a 7.71 ERA) with cervical disk pain in his neck.

This leaves the five spot competition open between Narveson and Parra. And, ensures that Rubie's whipping boy Chuckie New Town will be with the Brewers on Opening Day.

Your 2010 Milwaukee Brewers...

2010-03-29T15:13:00.004-05:00

So it looks as if the opening day roster is all but set:

SP-Yovani Gallardo
SP-Randy Wolf
SP-Doug Davis
SP-Dave Bush
SP-Jeff Suppan

Closer-Trevor Hoffman
RP-Todd Coffey
RP-LaTroy Hawkins
RP-Claudio Vargas
RP-Chris Narveson
RP-Manny Parra
RP-Mitch Stetter

Odd man out would be Carlos Villanueva who is the only one with a minor league option left. Sending Chuckie down would allow the Crew to maintain the starting pitching depth until someone gets hurt or cut (ahem...Suppan). So don't expect Villanueva to be in AAA for too long.

c-Gregg Zaun
1b-Prince Fielder
2b-Rickie Weeks
ss-Alcides Escobar
3b-Casey McGehee
lf-Ryan Braun
cf-Carlos Gomez
rf-Corey Hart

bench c-George Kottaras
bench if-Craig Counsell
bench of-Jim Edmonds
bench of-Jody Gerut
bench if-Joe Inglett

No major suprises here with Gamel hurt and Edmonds deciding he wants to play again. An all lefty hitting bench is a little bit of a concern.

Opening day is 6 days away....baseball is almost here!

The Following Questions ...

2010-03-23T17:21:00.002-05:00

... presented without commercial interruption, are ACTUAL questions fielded by the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel's Anthony Witrado during his JSOnline chat today. I have taken no fictional "Chris Capuano once led Tom Haudricourt to believe that he (Tom) had murdered a girl" liberties with these queries.

Again: actual questions, taken by a reputed journalist. Brace yourselves:

Q: GlennInTampa - Mr. Witardo, is there some "equal opportunity"-related reason why you still have a job here when you are worse than Haudricourt (if that's even possible), take shots at the players and have an arrogance that someone of your age and skill level should not have? I really feel sorry for you, kid. And the other readers are getting tired of it. Fear for your job, buddy.

Q: Dontrell, Jax, FL - How's spring training? Is it poppin and crackin like they say?

Q: dmoney, The Mean Streets of Shorewood - How do you pull down so much tail?

Q: Braun Knows - How are your dodgers looking this year traitor?

And damn it all to hell: Anthony actually responded to a question with an LOL:

Q: Ben, East Side - Anthony, The Brewers have decided to memorialize a former owner that has one AL pennant to show for 33 years of ownership. By that logic, should the Yankees build Steinbrenner Airport?

A: Anthony Witrado - Lol! By that logic they should rename the Bronx after the guy.

I have no words. There are no words.

Brewers Update

2010-03-19T16:10:00.005-05:00

And after that disgusting display by Marquette yesterday, I'm happy to be able to turn my focus solely towards discussion of the 2010 Brewers.

Spring Training is in full swing (no pun intended) and here is a quick recap of what we've learned about the teams durability so far.

Broken:
Mat Gamel has a torn muscle in his throwing arm. This is reportedly the result of him half-assing it and failing to warm-up prior to a batting cage session. As Va Jay Jay noted, hopes were high that Gamel had grown up and become big league savvy. Unfortunately, the current injury reeks of history repeating itself.

Sort of Broken:
Angel Salome, who played part of Spring Training with a bum ankle, has been optioned to Nashville.

Alcides Escobar some serious issues with his teeth.

Veteran reliever, Cubs fans whipping boy, and highly touted off season acquisition, Latroy Hawkins is experiencing shoulder discomfort.

So Broken His Arm Might Fall Off:
Chris Capuno was shut down after experiencing some inflammation in his twice surgically repaired elbow. While the outlook remains favorable (see Hawkins story link) that he may not be broken, I'm not holding out much hope. I say they shoot that arm up with some cortisone and let him pitch until it falls off like G.I. Joe's legs.

Surprisingly Not Broken:
Tom Haudricort says Rickie Weeks is just fine.

Mentally Broken:
Manny Parra continues to be a pitching enigma.

Tourney Time!

2010-03-18T12:10:00.004-05:00

If you're stopping by looking for Marquette and other tournament posts, and aren't one to read all the way to the bottom of the page, this is your reminder that you can now find our usual MU shenanigans at http://www.anonymouseagle.com/. There will be game threads for the early games and, of course, a thread for tonight's Marquette-Washington matchup. So check it out and chime in as we continue to analyze (to the best of our limited ability), ridicule and bitch about all the day's action.

Live Blog!! Twins-Orioles

2010-03-16T11:41:00.000-05:00

I'm going to make fun of the Twins and Minnesota so follow along if anyone is reading.

A Cubs Hate Post

2010-03-12T20:24:00.007-06:00

I know it can be hard on the older child when the family welcomes a new addition. So in order to make The Buffet feel less neglected, here's a little tale that is certain to brighten spirits around here:

So Mrs. Reid's sister and her husband just got back from a trip to Arizona. They were there for a wedding (which was lovely I'm told). After the wedding they venture to a local watering hole across the street from the hotel. This bar, like a lot of bars located by hotels, was not an overly crowded joint, so when they walk in they can't help but notice a large, Venezuelan gentleman sitting at the bar with a couple of buddies (read: cronies). They examined him, and could it be... maybe... yes, yes it is.... it's Carlos Zambrano. So my brother-in-law and his buddy decide they are going to approach "El Toro" and say hello. The walk up to the bar and say something to the effect of "Hey Carlos, congrats on throwing that no-hitter. That was awesome." Short, sweet, respectful. That's probably not what I would've gone with, but to each his own. Zambrano, the stand up guy that he's known to be, shakes their hands says "Thanks guys" and then says "Here have a beer on me," and hands them a beer.

Pretty cool, for a guy that's supposedly a total douchefuck. The guys return to the table, and my bro-in-law takes a swig of the beer that Zambrano had just hooked him up with. Something is not right about this beer. It's warm, and it has a peculiar flavor to it. It doesn't quite register at first, but after a few moments of mental processing it becomes apparent that, while there is beer in there, this isn't just beer -- it's also Carlos Zambrano's SPITTER!!! That's right, that odd flavor was fucking chew and the now noticed flakes in the bottom are NOT extra hops. So in a matter of one swig Big Z goes from being perhaps not as huge a dickhole as everyone says, to being the biggest fuckstick to ever walk the Earth! Way to take care of your fans there Z!!!

So, once this whole scene fully registers in the brains of these gentlemen, the question becomes "What the fuck do we do now?" The answer: Go have words with Big Z. So they head back over to the bar to give Zambrano a piece of their minds. They return to find Big Z and his entourage heading out the door. At this point discretion is the better part of valor and they opt against chasing the douche-nozzle into Arizona night.

So, this year I will be hoping for every pitch that Big Z throws gets lined right back off his person in some way, shape, or form. Not that I didn't want in previous seasons, but this year I'm going to be rooting extra hard. So feel free in joining me in ripping this fucking cock smoker (as if anyone around these parts needed any extra encouragement). Needless to say, I think we have a leader in the clubhouse for the 2010 Biggest Douche in the Universe award.

The Cycle of Life...

2010-03-11T19:39:00.003-06:00

With the blossoming of the "Anonymous Eagle", does this mean the "Quevedo Buffet" is a dying breed? If so, are we going to enact a proper send off? A eulogy perhaps? Is Juan Acevedo the pallbearer?

Birth Announcement.

2010-03-11T08:48:00.002-06:00

Well, it was a lengthy labor, but, after weeks of pushin', our baby is here: www.anonymouseagle.com has all twelve fingers, and all twelve toes.

Sadly, that means we're going to have to temper the Marquette talk on the Buffet. Happily, that means that the Buffet can go back to its original purpose: stringing together dozens of four-letter words about the Brewers.

Join us, won't you?

Big East Tournament: Day Two

2010-03-10T09:00:00.007-06:00

Rob Frozena is the Air Hockey Champion and tells Mo Acker he has short, stubby arms.....

Kudos to MUTV Sports for the great video.

Rosiak has his preview here.

From NJ.com - You want mental toughness? Look no further than the Golden Eagles. At one point this season, Marquette won three straight overtime road games in the Big East. Lazar Hayward is one of the most underrated players in the conference, having scored double-digit points in 28 of the team’s 30 games this year.

Notes from yesterday: I'm pretty happy Keno Davis isn't our coach. Playing an up-and-down style is one thing, but playing ole defense in the BEast? Yeah, good luck with that.

And Providence isn't interested in your charity. Seton Hall did everything they could to lose that game last night, just like Marquette did everything to give away the game @ Providence. Thanks but no thanks, says Keno.

If you didn't see the end of the Rutgers - 'Nati game, let me pose this question to you: if, say, the game was decided on a foul call with 1.8 seconds left when Lance Stephenson was bailed out on an out-of-control drive to the hoop, who do you think was the head of the officiating crew? Two guesses, max.

Rubie whiffed on the song for the UCONN - St. John's game. In hindsight, the pick should've been "Quitter," by The Toadies.

And following up with Rubie's post from yesterday, here's your Big East Tournament ... In Song for Day 2 (of 16) ...

Notre Dame vs. Seton Hall - "Layla," by Eric Clapton. Actually, just the coda of "Layla," for the two Good Fellas working the sidelines. Loser gets to meet Jimmy Hoffa.

Cincinnati vs. Louisville - "Medicated Goo," by Traffic. It has nothing to do with the game, and everything to do with Coach Pitino's ding-a-ling. Only one way to get that burning to stop, Slick Rick: a nice salve. (I've also heard that Tea for Dong can help.)

USF vs. Georgetown - "Street Spirit [Fade Out]," by Radiohead. It's not entirely fair, since Georgetown pasted Cincinnati this past weekend, but the Hoyas are limpin' to the finish line. If they didn't have that win over Duke, they might be languishing in Joe Lunardi's Bubble Hell with us.

St. John's vs. Marquette - "The Waiting," Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Waiting for the game to start, waiting for ESPN.com to load the live box score, waiting for Homer to tell me what actually happened on a play, and, most importantly, waiting for Selection Sunday if we drop this one to the Johnnies.

And last but not least, The Jump Around guy gets a feature story...

Len Elmore's Basket of Backhanded Compliments

2010-03-09T19:13:00.003-06:00

Big East Tournament time is great. A cornucopia of Big East action, plenty of stellar match-ups. Unfortunately, it also means hours of everyone's favorite New Yorker Len Elmore. Since there's a better than even chance he'll call MU's game tomorrow, let's guess which backhanded compliments and comments he'll throw MU's way:

These Golden Eagles from Michigan really hustle
Lazar Hayward is from Buffalo. That's in New York State, not New York City. But that's better than that pussy hayseed Jimmy Butler, who's from Texas
Remember when Levance Fields played for Pitt? That guy was tough because he's from New York
This St. John's team really gets after it, a bunch of tough NYC kids
Marquette has to play harder, they don't have any talent
Marquette finished 11-7 in the Big East, not bad for a team without thumbs
Tom Crean did a great job with Marquette this year
Marquette hasn't completely fallen on their faces since joining the Big East from the MAC in 1999
Buzz Williams had a decent year. Learned everything he knows from my colleague, Fran Fraschilla.
Milwaukee's suburban Chicago location helps them get some semi-tough kids from the inner city
They have an all-black team (oh wait, that's stuff we hear in Madison)

**Note, I totally stole this idea from Reid**

Add other Len Elmore gems in the comments section

The Big East Tournament ... In Song! Day One (of 16)

2010-03-09T11:01:00.002-06:00

I'm bored with the traditional (read: insightful and useful) previews of the Big East tournament. So, keeping with Buffet tradition, let's do something stupid and pointless ...

LET'S PREVIEW THE BIG EAST TOURNEY IN SONG!

No, I'm not going to write the song. I'm just going to provide the song that I think most accurately captures the match-up.

Providence vs. Seton Hall: "Check My Brain," by Alice in Chains. It's a Seton Hall game, so you're guaranteed at least one flagrant and/or technical foul, and the latest forecasts call for a 40% chance of Gonzo going bonko. On the other side, Keno Davis' Friars have been party to some epic bed-shittings this season, including the game where Marquette blew an eight-point lead in about 15 seconds. This one might be a hot mess.

UCONN vs. St. John's: "Desperately Wanting," by Better Than Ezra. The Huskies have entered Cornered Raccoon territory, and I imagine they're ready to claw a few eyes and to pass on some rabies. Plus, if they drop this one, they'll have to endure even more "Your women's team could beat your men's team" taunts. Those are hurtful.

Cincinnati vs. Rutgers: "The Battle of Who Could Care Less," by Ben Folds Five. Both teams have some talent. Both teams have a tendency to play undisciplined basketball. Cincinnati, in particular, could have been a team to contend with if they played like they gave a flying fuck. Half-assed chess passes and three-point attempts five seconds into the shot clock? Comin' right up!

DePaul vs. South Florida: "Does Anybody Out There Even Care?" by Lenny Kravitz. I don't have much else to say here. I imagine there will be dribbling. I also imagine that Tracy Webster will take down a whole New York-style pizza by himself after the game. Other than that, I got nuthin'.

God, I Hate Notre Dame.

2010-03-07T12:00:00.000-06:00

Alright, let's get this out of the way.

In a game rife with coaching mistakes -- Buzz's tech in the first half (yes, it was a bad call by the official, but Buzz had to be on guard for the Shitty Official Mistake that's described below, in the "Boner of the Week" section); Mike Brey's decision to play Luke Harangody, when it's clear that 'Gody is now in full-fledged "EWING CAN'T EVEN MOVE" territory*; Buzz failing to convince his team to stop shooting threes when we couldn't hit jack shit all game -- the most frustrating might've been the end of game clusterfuck that led to the game-tying three by Carleton Scott.

* Let's pause to consider how beneficial Harangody's injury was for the Irish. He's a vortex on offense, he's a liability on defense, and it seems like Brey's given up on coaching him. In a nutshell, his injury was the exact opposite of Dom James' injury last year: Dom was our most important player because he made everyone around him better. Harangody makes everyone around him worse. If he makes it in the NBA -- and he won't -- he'd be a great Clipper.

Some people are of the opinion that, with time winding down and your team up by three, you should foul and put the other team on the line. Some say you nut up and play good D. Now, I'm not saying that the strategy is clear-cut one way or the other; some coaches take the foul, some don't. What's frustrating is Buzz's explanation of his philosophy:

"Anytime if we're up by three with less than nine seconds to go in the game, and we're in the bonus, not the double bonus, philosophically I would foul. But not when whoever it is that we would foul, when we go to the free-throw line ... if I can't see the top of our guys' heads, I'm not going to foul. But I think if they're in the 1 and 1 there's a little bit of added pressure because now you have to make the first one, miss the second one, get an offensive rebound and a putback. But it's going to be with less than nine seconds left. But with our current team ... with as many grind-it-out games as we've been a part of, I'm not going to bet on the come bet. I'll just play on the pass line and put odds on the back."

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Does he want to foul or not?

If this is the way he's talking to the kids in the huddle -- "Boys, I'm gonna play the pass line and put odds on the back" -- it's a wonder our guys have any idea what to do when they take the floor. "OK, guys, coach said we're not supposed to blame the cow when the milk goes sour. That means 2-3 zone ... I think ..."

Anyway, a win would've apparently moved us into Joe Lunardi's stone-cold, lead-pipe lock group. Instead, we're languishing at the top of the bubble heap. Whatever. A win on Wednesday removes all the drama. If we lose to UCONN, it might be an agonizing Selection Sunday.

The Trojan-ENZ "Boner of the Week" Call(s): Jim Burr** has been an official for roughly 82 years. Because of his advanced age, he anticipates calls more than any other official (even Higgins). Yesterday was no exception, as he called two offensive fouls -- one on 'Zar, and one on some Domer who I can't be bothered to remember -- on blatant flops that had minimal contact. It's now gotten to the point where fans can anticipate Burr anticipating the call, such that the booing starts before Jim even blows his whistle.

And special "Die in a fire" wishes go out to James Breeding, the overmatched sonofabitch who pulled a classic Shitty Official Move at the end of the first half, when he whiffed on an obvious travel by Ben Hansbrough and then called a tech on Buzz when Buzz pointed out the error. Missing a call, then T'ing up the coach because you were wrong? Yep. Classic Shitty Official Move. One of my favorites. Die in fire, Other Jim.

** You know the old saying that the best officials are the ones you don't notice? Within about 30 seconds of tipoff, you know that Jim Burr is working the game. In the upset of all upsets, Jim Burr has now moved ahead of Tim Higgins on Rubie's "People Who I'm Going to Kill When Reid Shows Me How to Shoot a Bow-and-Arrow" list. Congratulations, Jim!

Mat Gamel's Wish List

2010-03-07T08:34:00.002-06:00

I think it's a good time to take a break from all the Marquette talk for just a bit and turn to our cause of ulcers, the Brewers. It might be hard to believe, but the Crew already has a few spring training games under it's belt. What is also hard to believe is that for several years in a row now, this city is talking about the Brewers in March and dreaming of big things. Some people believe this team can make a run at the post season and make some noise now that they have some serviceable pitching. Others are excited to get back to Miller Park and drink copious amounts of booze and drink and clog their arteries with sausage. And there are some that just want to be good humans. Wait. What?

Haudricourt and Witrado have been publishing stories about the Crew and breaking down each position over at the website for that one paper in town. About a week or so ago they came to the position of third base. There has been some talk about what should happen over there and who should get the job. You've got Casey McGehee who had a break out year in 2009 and even got his name thrown around for National League Rookie of the Year. What might be more impressive than his numbers, is that he put up those numbers on a bum wheel he got repaired this off-season. The other option at third is the Golden Boy (not actually his nickname and I'm pretty sure nobody has ever referred to him as this) Mat Gamel. We all know about Gamel and several people are excited to see what he can do. I personally don't think there is much of a debate and that the job should go to McGehee, but of course Gamel should get a shot and I hope he sticks around performs well since he is probably our first baseman of the future when we let Prince go (and by future I mean a couple years... probably).

The reason I am bringing Gamel up today is because of his quotes at the end of the story about the third base battle. Let's go to the tape, as they say, and check them out.

"I learned you can't just play the game and be a good player," Gamel said. "There's a lot more that comes with being a big-leaguer. It's about how you dress, how you carry yourself off the field, it's about perception. Being late the first day probably gave the wrong idea to a lot of people. It made it seem like I didn't care about my job, and that's not the case.

It seems as if Gamel has grown up a bit and Witrado points that out in the article. The above quote sounds like it came from a kid who has learned from past mistakes and is really trying to make it in the big leagues on more than just his talent. He has the talent, but I have always wondered if all the lights were on upstairs based on some of the things he has done, like showing up late last year.

After that great and very printable quote, Gamel drops this one:

"I have to prove that I am here to work, to be a good teammate, to be a good human."

Yes! I love it. Proving that I am here to work. That's good. That sounds like a kid who has grown up. Being a good teammate. That is something that most everyone loves. Good teammates are fantastic and those of us in the midwest love to hear about how great a teammate someone is. But hold on a second, he's not done. I did not make up that last line. He wants to be a good human. Now, I know what he means and I'm not trying to pick on Gamel here, but that is funny. I wonder what else is on his list of things to be good at?

- good mammal
- good Chinese food orderer
- good Wii player
- good cabby tipper
- good tax filer
- good Miley Cyrus fan

You get the picture and I'm sure you can add better things he wants to be good at in the comments.

That's What They Said

2010-03-05T11:05:00.001-06:00

As we get closer to tip off tomorrow here is what people across the country are saying about Marquette basketball.

First off, @SportsBubbler was the first to announce that the field for the CBE Classic was announced and it has Marquette, Duke, Gonzaga and Kansas State. D3 has already bought his tickets.

Must Read SNY.tv: The incredible thing about Marquette's reloading season is how the defense has improved. James and McNeal were known as top perimeter defenders -- indeed McNeal was named the league's top defender as a sophomore -- and yet Marquette's defense has gone from eighth best in the league last year to fourth best this season.

Gene Mueller: Those who called for a return to "Warriors" were once seen as noble die-hards who wanted their tradition to live on. Now, they're starting to sound like relics, hoping for a return to days-gone-by that just, plain, isn't going to happen.

Jeff Goodman: I pegged Marquette as an NIT team, maybe even a CBI club. However, Williams has done as impressive a coaching job as anyone in the country and that includes Syracuse head man Jim Boeheim and Kansas State's Frank Martin.

Notre Dame Blog Rakes of Mallow: The game tomorrow in Milwaukee is not a must-win, however it would almost certainly lead to a must-win in the Big East tournament. The Golden Eagles have been quite good this season, but they're not invincible.

Syracuse.com: Big East Awards - Coach of the year, All five experts agreed that Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim would win this award. “I think the candidates are Jim Boeheim, Jamie Dixon and Buzz Williams’’

Black & Green Report: Key Players - #32 Lazar Hayward- 18.0 PPG, 8.0 RPG, 33.5% 3PA- Has been Mr. Reliable for the Golden Eagles this year. Eight double-doubles to his credit.

NCAA Basketball Review: Finishing February with three consecutive away overtime victories over Cincinnati, St. John’s, and Seton Hall showed the kind of grit and determination Marquette has.

Cracked Sidewalks: Marquette’s 21-point domination of Louisville is statistically a very good sign for the post season. That win is the only time this season a team has beaten anyone in the top half of the Big East by 20+ points, and Marquette is now the only team in the Big East to win three conference games by 20+.

And for the hell of it, this one is for D3

The Buzz Dance

2010-03-05T07:54:00.001-06:00

The Buzz dance moves - pretty damn scary, but certainly hilarious.

Breaking Down Notre Dame

2010-03-05T07:42:00.002-06:00

Some quick hits on the Irish in advance of Saturday’s huge game at the BC.

Harangody’s out and ND improves?
Luke Harangody remains doubtful for tomorrow’s game with a knee bruise. Harangody has missed the last five games, but ND has put up an impressive 3-2 record in his absence, with wins over Pitt, @Georgetown and UConn along with a double overtime loss at UL. Once ND got their sea legs under themselves after the St. John’s loss, they have improved markedly without Harangody. Why? Addition by subtraction defensively and improved team play offensively.

Harangody takes a higher percentage of his team’s shots than any other player in the nation. Instead of doubling down on Harangody, teams now have to defend a five headed monster of Tim Abromaitus, Ben Hansbrough, Carleton Scott, Tory Jackson and Tyrone Nash – all average nearly double figures without Harangody
A good number of Harangody’s shots are going to Tim Abromaitus, who is a very efficient scorer from 2 point range (49%), 3 point range (37%) and at the line (88%) without Harangody
Harangody has never been much for defense, and without him, ND’s defense has generally improved, particularly against UConn on Wednesday. ND has jumped up to the top 200 in KenPom’s defensive efficiency stats. Sadly, that’s a dramatic improvement for the Irish

Irish Offensively
ND is good with the ball – really, really good. They can score with anyone in the nation, clocking in at #2 in KenPom’s offensive efficiency stats. A couple things to consider:

ND looks a lot like MU offensively, only better. ND slows the game down and takes care of the ball (#5 in the nation in turnover percentage)
ND hits their shots, particularly from 3-land with an e3FG% of 40.8%, effectively tied with MU
Abromaitus is clearly their go-to option. He doesn’t have the physical presence of Harangody but he can score in a variety of ways. Unfortunately for ND, he’s been slowing down the last couple of games, going only 11-31 from the field and 1-12 from 3. MU needs to keep him off the line, where he’s an 80%+ shooter

Other factors

ND has a very short bench. They only go 6-7 deep. Check out Jack Cooley, he’s an absolute Harangody clone and has averaged 10 minutes off the pine since the big galoot went down
ND only has 2 road wins on the year – USF and Georgetown. It will be interesting to see how they handle a revved up Bradley Center

Prediction
MU wins a fairly close game 65-59. Whoever shoots better from 3 will prevail, but I can't see MU losing on Senior Day in the BC snake pit.

It's A Trap?

2010-03-04T10:32:00.008-06:00

This can't be a coincidence:

We bring Admiral Ackbar, S.J. on board -- and two days later, Fr. Wild announces he's retiring as Marquette's president in June 2011?

I fear we have sinned, and I fear it ain't venial. Sorry, God. Sorry, Jesus. Sorry, saints.

But while we're at it, let's compound those sins by ...

HANDICAPPING THE FIELD FOR YOUR NEXT MARQUETTE UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT

Let's go!

Admiral Ackbar, S.J. - Jesuit in name only. Mon Calimarian, which is good for diversity purposes. Handsome. And he did get everybody to focus their fire on that lead Star Destroyer. Odds: 13-1.

Dwyane Wade, N.B.A. - Let's face it, this guy got more buildings built than the rest of these dudes combined. STD free. Odds: 4-1.

Fr. Tim Lannon, S.J. - Current president at St. Joe's University in Philly. Was formerly Associate Executive Vice President at Marquette University. Currently a member of MU's Board of Trustees. Admiral Ackbar, S.J. was once his Administrative Assistant. Also: has a sick turnaround jumper. Odds: 2-1.

Fr. Dan McDonald, S.J. - Admiral Ackbar's cousin and priest who presided over his wedding. In 1998, became Executive Director for University Mission and Identity at Marquette. Currently teaching in Italy. Tall. Odds: 8-1.

Jesus H. Christ, S.O.G. - Looking for a comeback. Has had a rough couple of decades. Hopes Buzz needs an extra PG. Odds: 6-1.

Tom Crean, S.O.B. - Lost 20 games so far this season. Tan. NEEDS TO GET YOU INTO THIS '02 CAMRY. THIS BABY RUNS LIKE A DREAM! AND YOU WANNA TALK FEATURES ... Odds: 1,000,000 to 1.

Fr. Wild pulls a Favre and decides not to retire. Odds 3-1.

Fr. Wild goes to St. Thomas in Minnesota. Odds 6-1.

Whoyagot?

Corey Hart Not Terrible Just Blind

2010-03-04T08:52:00.005-06:00

Apparently the slide in Corey Hart's performance can be attributed to nearsightedness. Correcting the problem will be as simple as sporting some Horace Grant goggles.

Trouble tracking down balls in the outfield. Swinging at balls in the dirt. Failing to draw walks. Absolute suckitude. Yeah, not his fault at all. I bet you all feel like total douche-nozzles right now for criticizing the poor guy.

Hart will not be the first professional baseball player to sport the goggles. Chris Sabo had a decent career and even served as the inspiration for a Cincinnati Reds fan blog.

While "I wear my goggles at night" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, I am excited for possible fan promotions that can be spawned from this change:

Corey Hart bobblehead with special edition alternate road goggles.

Miller High Life Corey Hart beer-goggle night (featuring Wendell of course).

I'm sure there are more, feel free to add any suggestions in the comments section.

What Is Mike Brey's Mock Turtle Covering?

2010-03-04T08:50:00.002-06:00

As we sit and patiently wait for Saturday afternoon to get here, let us get the Notre Dame hate rolling. So let's talk about last night......

Notre Dame vs. UConn was like watching Big Ten Basketball. 17 points for the Fighting Irish in the first half? Just ugly. Neither one of those teams belong in the NCAA tournament.

Apparently Mike Brey would prefer to look like Tim Robbins' Public TV News Anchor from the movie Anchorman.

Nothing sets off Chris Hansen's pervert alert more than a turtleneck and jacket.

So let's play a little game called "What Is Mike Brey's Mock Turtle Covering?"

The possibilities for answers are endless, have at it in the comments.

(note this idea was stolen from Rubie)

The Safety Dance

2010-03-03T09:15:00.001-06:00

Ok, so that's probably a lame blog post title, but whatever. We're dancing.

Defying common sense, Marquette will have their name called on Selection Sunday.

Marquette has now won 20 games for the 5th straight season. MU took over sole possession of 5th place in the Big East. Think about that again for a second. A team that 99% of the country expected to see at the bottom of the Big East is two buzz beaters away from finishing in the top 4. Unreal.

During Louisville's run to cut it to 10, Rubie texted saying Buzz was doing an "awful" job coaching. Of course Rubie never texted when MU was up 46-23 saying he was doing a great job.

Just some quick hitters:

- Joe Fulce is coming around at the exact time they need him. MU's ability to extend a 5 point lead to a 10 point lead, with Butler and Hayward on the bench was nothing short of amazing.

- DJO's dunk at the end of the game was just filthy.

- MU's ability to shut down Samuels and keep him scoreless for the first 38 minute was the reason MU won.

- MU should be at worst a 7 or 8 seed in the NCAA's. Anything higher than a 8 is miscarriage of justice.

- I missed Buzz's dance at the end. Apparently he makes me look like Fred Astaire.

- Tim Higgins? Still sucks.

From the Louisville Courier: If it’s possible to undo a month’s worth of NCAA Tournament resume building, the University of Louisville men’s basketball team did it Tuesday night at Marquette.

Todd Rosiak: "Nobody thought we'd show up tonight, either," coach Buzz Williams said. "That's part of what gives me my edge, professionally and personally. That's how I live and how I coach. When we played South Florida they were the hottest team in the league, leading scorer in the country, and then when we beat them it was, 'You’ve got to beat a tournament team.'

The man who combs his hair with a brick: Among MU lore, you could file it between a pretty good Al McGuire season and a good Bob Dukiet season, as if either exists in the mind.

Rosiak has more here.

The guys from MUTV Sports have a great postgame report.

Our soon-to-be compadre at SB Nation, Card Chronicle has some hate issues.

UofL makes MU look really good.

Even a Badger fan has nice things to say about MU.

Postgame video of DJO

And the game highlights

So...That Happened, Right?

2010-03-03T09:10:00.003-06:00

I still can't get over last night's win. A 21 point drubbing of the 'Ville to secure MU's spot in the tourney. Zar's dunk, DJO's putback, Karen Sypher chants - it was all good.

Rubes - you'd be proud to know that I dropped the "Paging Samardo Samuels" line with 5 minutes left. The Ville fans in front of me were none too pleased.

Reid and I drank way too many cocktails postgame, including the infamous "One more and then we'll go." As a result, I'm hanging a bit today, but don't really care.

We're dancin' boys!!

Caption Slick Rick

2010-03-03T08:23:00.004-06:00

Since video of DJO's filthy dunk isn't on youtube yet, let's have some fun at Mr. Pitino's expense.

Seems to be channeling Bo Ryan a bit in that picture.

Leave your clever caption in the comments.

No Donnie, these men are nihilist

2010-03-02T14:47:00.007-06:00

Unrelated to Marq basketball but still fun to talk about Lebowski news:

First, Lebowski fest is coming to Chicago Sept 17th and 18th. I know it's a ways out, but it might be something fun to do and a reason to get out of town for a weekend.

Second, I just discovered this new movie about the cult following of Lebowski fans...maybe we should give it a rent and check it out over a few beers? The Achievers

Finally, give me your best/favorite quote....

Its Game Day Bitches...

2010-03-02T08:12:00.005-06:00

Well its 8:10 am and I'm already fired up for tonight's HUGE game at the BC. Apparently its Al's night and they are re-doing the intro video for the occasion. Louisville scares the hell out of me but I think Buzz and the boys are riding a nice little wave right now so I'll say we pull this one out 75-71, perhaps in overtime again. Keys to the game:

-Shooting Percentage-The Ville likes to jack up shots and MU will probably have to take a lot of jumpers and 3 pointers against the stupid 2-3 zone so whichever team is shooting the ball better will have a better chance to win (how do you like that for in depth analysis)
-Turnovers-MU has been pretty good in this department, but not as good as of late. We need to take care of the ball against the Louisville pressure and not give away possessions
-Second Chance Points-We might get killed on the boards tonight but we can't give them second chance points when they have the ball.
-Foul Trouble-We did a real nice job against Monroe earlier this year but Zar, Jimmy, Fulce, and maybe even E-Will need to try and keep Samuels in check but avoid picking up stupid fouls.
-Free Throws-We need to get to the line a lot tonight because if we do it means we are attacking the zone, getting good dribble penetration, and forcing them to foul us. Plus we are a pretty decent foul shooting team.

The Olympics bring out the beauty of sport

2010-03-01T16:23:00.003-06:00

The Winter Olympics came to a close yesterday with all the pageantry one can imagine*, forcing us back into our dull and uninteresting lives suddenly bereft of the beauty of sport.

* - And I'll have to imagine, because I didn't watch the closing ceremonies. I did hear about the inflatable beavers. Next Christmas, my yard will have one.

The Games have a strange effect on society. Suddenly, by the virtue of international competition and unparalleled pageantry, we're strangely drawn to watch sports we'd never consider bearing witness to in a non-Olympic period. Curling. Ice Dancing. Acrostic poetry**.

** - Not actually an Olympic sport. But admit it - you wouldn't be shocked to discover it is.

The Olympics are more than just a sporting event: they're an inspiration for millions of potential young athletes to work their hearts out trying to get good at semi obscure-to-completely unknown sports in an effort to be a part of a sporting event that's irrelevant for nearly four full years in between the two week spans where no one talks about anything else.

Here in Appleton, I witnessed the effect first hand today. At roughly 4 pm, a young, heavy-set boy came home from school, presumably ate an entire box of Twinkies in one sitting, then suddenly remembered his dream: he was going to be the next Shaun White.

So, on a warm winter day not unlike those recently experienced in Vancouver, our young friend ventured outside for what appeared to be the first time in a very long time, positioned himself at the top of his slightly sloping front yard, and stepped onto a snowboard. And, for one brief moment in time, he was Shaun White.

One very brief moment in time.

You see, our friend here mustn't have spent too much time looking at Shaun White's feet. If he had, he might have noticed that White's boots lock into his snowboard, which keeps his snowboard from shooting out from under him and dumping him on his ass.

But, this young man didn't know about these "boots." So he just stepped on the snowboard and started riding...for roughly half a second. Then he leaned back too far, the board shot out from under him, he fell on his ass and the board shot into traffic, smacking squarely into the side of my car.

Today's story has a happy ending: I checked when I got home and my car wasn't damaged, and now I get to write a blog post making fun of a fat kid. But it could have been much worse: If my car had been damaged, I clearly would have blamed Shaun White.

After all, if he hadn't gone out and been so inspirational, this fat, uncoordinated little shit would have stayed inside and played video games like the rest of us did.

Pitino Welcome Wagon

2010-03-01T12:19:00.002-06:00

I have acquired good seats very close the UL bench. Any suggestions from the peanut gallery on how Quevedo at the Buffet can help welcome Ricky P to the BC? And we wondered several years ago how Ricky got his UTI...

Just The Way We Drew It Up.

2010-03-01T06:53:00.005-06:00

Of course, everyone knows that the easiest way to win three straight Big East road games is to take each of those games to overtime, and then to: win by three when a senior shooting guard (and, until this season, a big-time player) misses a wide open triple that would've sent the game to double OT; win on a last second shot against a desperate opponent on said desperate opponent's senior day; and win against a desperate opponent on said desperate opponent's senior day after said desperate opponent's shooting guard puts up 10 points in the span of about 20 seconds. Respectively.

Here's my plea to the Marquette Golden Eagles: next season, give me some blowouts. If you lose a couple games by 12 or 14, I'll be OK with that.* If you win a couple by 12 or 14, even better. But, please, don't take every single game down to the wire. I'm 29 going on 48, thanks to this season.**

* I won't be OK with that, but my heart will.

** And my hairline is going on 60. (I'll make the joke for you, assholes.)

Game MVP: It's tempting to give it to Lazar, who moved past Dom James into third place on the career MU scoring list, but he gets minor demerit points for admitting that he would've preferred Jimmy Clutch to take the shot on the final possession in regulation. So, this award goes to the Cubillionaire, who, probably for the first time in his career, looked to drive instead of launching threes. The results were outstanding, as Cubbie put up 16 points.

The Brian Barone Unsung Hero: ... might have to take a hiatus for this game, since Dwight Buycks -- who was starting to assert himself in his role as sixth man -- got left home with the sniffles and Joe Fulce remembered that he's Joe Fulce and played like Joe Fulce. So: any nominees? Maybe it's Mo Acker, who calmly drained four throws in the last minute of OT. Actually, here's a better one: Seton Hall coach Bobby Gonzalez, who provided the margin of victory by getting himself T'ed up in the first half. Thanks, coach!

The Trojan-ENZ Boner of the Week Call: Because I'm a DISH subscriber, I didn't get to see the game yesterday, and had to listen to Homer's call and follow on my phone. It didn't sound like there were any terribly egregious calls, though I'm interested in hearing opinions on DJO's foul on Jeremy Hazell with 25 seconds left.

Take your vitamins and have an extra cup of coffee tomorrow, kids: U of L (clap clap) and its horndog coach come to town at 8:30 p.m.

"It's Indiana" vs. "Grrr, I'm A Mean BADGER!", Part the Second.

2010-02-25T16:11:00.003-06:00

In the post-St. John's haze, we've neglected to mention that tonight comes the remix of UW-Madison vs. IU, or, as I like to call it, "Count Orlok from Nosferatu vs. the Snakeoil Salesman." Of course, you already know who you should be rooting for*, but, because I get so much shit for being wrong, I'd like to take this chance to remind y'all of two things I wrote almost two years ago:

First, after Tan Tommy's presser at IU, pre-Buffet:

Crean said: "This is a challenging situation; I hope you realize that." Rubie interprets: Please don’t fire me in two years when we finish 8th in the Big 11.

Current standings in the Big 11:

Purdue	12-3	24-3
Ohio State	12-4	22-7
Michigan State	11-4	21-7
Illinois	10-5	18-10
Wisconsin	10-5	20-7
Minnesota	7-8	16-11
Northwestern	6-9	17-10
Michigan	6-9	13-14
Iowa	3-11	9-18
Indiana	3-11	9-17
Penn State	2-13	10-17

Tied for ninth place! Damn, off by one.

And then I said this back in May '08, when the Buffet was still in her infancy (and I was still putting a bit of effort into my posts, instead of mailing them in by linking to stuff I've already written):

... in two years, when IU is still looking up at Northwestern in the Big 11 standings, it won't matter how long the fucker's contract is.

Fist pump! High five! Ninja kick!

Try to keep it within 30 tonight, TT. Your job might depend on it.

* A slow carbon monoxide leak. Let's go CO!

JIMMMMAAAAAYYYYY BUTLAHHHHHH!

2010-02-25T09:53:00.005-06:00

I'm still basking in the glory of last night's victory and was wondering which game winning shot by Butler was more impressive. Thanks to the National City Highlight of the Week for the following clips:

I'd give a slight edge to the SJU shot just because of the lose ball aspect of the play.

But as I watched the SJU post game interview with Jimmy on the plane I couldn't help but pick up the song that appeared to be playing on his headphones. It sounds to me like another Miley Cyrus' song and it reminded me of this clip from the team's trip to Disney in November (watch the last 30 seconds).

So my question to the blog is: Do we need to be worried about one of our best basketball players if he has an unhealthy obsession with Miley Cyrus or should we just leave it be and let himself get psyched up for games with whatever music he prefers?

This One's For SBTG.

2010-02-25T06:55:00.003-06:00

Hey, remember Marquette's first two Big East games this season -- the one against West Virginia, where Jimmy Butler* clanked the front end of a one-and-one with MU leading by one, and the home game against 'Nova, where Jimmy short-armed a one-footer that would've given Marquette the lead?

Yeah, I don't remember those either.

* This is normally the point where I'd advocate calling someone who goes by "Timmy" or "Ricky" or "Bobby," "Tim" or "Rick" (or "Dick") or "Bob." Sadly, I can't do the same with Jimmy Butler, because I have an uncle named Jim Butler. And that'd just be weird.

If the Late Game Jitters Demon that haunted Jimmy in those early BEast games survived Jimmy's game-winner against UCONN, Jimmy punched that bastard in the cock with his cold-blooded dagger in OT against St. John's. "FUCK YOU," said Jimmy to the Demon, the laughing, barking Demon.**

** I apologize for the awkward demon metaphor, and the bizarre cock-punch reference, and the cursing. I have to get these things out of my system now.

As the Demon lay cradling his achin' ballsack***, Marquette clinched a .500 record in conference play and added to the evidence that yours truly should never, ever, ever make predictions about anything.

*** Sorry.

In fact, I'm going to stop there, and I'm not even going to mention the fact that Buzz ran the same play at the end of regulation and at the end of OT (and that it was the same play he called at end of the UCONN game).****

**** Please ignore the fact that I just mentioned this.

We'll end with something new:

Game MVP: 'Zar was big with 22, but the ball too often stops moving as soon as he touches it, and he put up a few headscratchers from three-point range. But there's no other choice here -- it's Jimmy, who earned himself a new nickname last night: I'm partial to Jimmy Clutch, but I'll entertain arguments for Jimmy Closer.

The Brian Barone Unsung Hero Award: Dwight Buycks was big in the first half, keeping St. John's lead in single digits with a couple tasty fall-away jumpers. I think we split this award and give it to Joe Fulce (I'm as shocked as you) and Junior Cadougan, who busted his ass and kept the ship afloat while Acker and Cubillan sat out with foul trouble in the first half.

The Trojan-ENZ Boner of the Week Call: Add to the calls that officials routinely miss: goaltending. JC had a great drive and clearly laid the ball off the backboard, only to have it swatted away by a St. John's player. There was an official less than five feet away. No call. Brain aneurysm.

That's Spectacular!!!

2010-02-24T13:40:00.001-06:00

According to JSOnline all 136 Milwaukee Brewers games in 2010 on FSN Wisconsin will be broadcast in HD. I'm glad to see Wisconsin is finally catching up with the rest of the world. Now if we could only get WMLW games (MU or Brewers) to be broadcast in something that resembles standard definition we'd be in business.

Who Ya Got? - St. John's Edition

2010-02-24T12:41:00.003-06:00

I'm extremely nervous for this game. Tiny arena, SJU comes in hot, we may be underestimating them. I hate to pick against MU, but I think we drop this one. 62-59.

Master Reid's Bubble Breakdown

2010-02-23T10:45:00.000-06:00

Well folks it’s late February, and that buzz in the air you’re feeling is the looming presence of Selection Sunday. It’s a mere 3 weeks before the field is selected for the most entertaining of American sporting events. Over the past 4 years, as we’ve been bitching about seeding and 1st round match-ups etc., we have always added the caveat of: “Well, it’s better than being on the bubble.” But this year Marquette finds itself in that unfamiliar position: on the bubble. It’s been a while since MU was a legit bubble team. The 04-05 season was the last time Marquette missed the tourney, and I’m not even sure that team even qualified as a bubble team. So, it’s understandable if MU Nation is having a little trouble remembering the rules of the bubble. I hear it all the time, “Master Reid, it’s all so confusing. Who do I root for? Who do I root against?” Well fear not kiddies, thanks to a 7+ hour drive and the miracle of wireless internet, D3, VJJ and I were able to hash out exactly who we need to be keeping an eye on as we come down the home stretch of the college hoops season.

Root Against

-The second tier of the Atlantic 10
Let me begin by declaring that I think the A-10 is bullshit. But people who make tourney fields don’t give a damn what I think. As of Monday, Lunardi has 5 teams in his bracket from the A-10. It appears that Temple, Xavier, and Richmond (Yes, Richmond) are pretty much locks barring any unforeseen bed-shitting down the stretch. But the next 3-4 teams are all kinds of bubblicious. As of today, Rhode Island and Dayton are amongst the last 4 teams in the tournament, and Charlotte is one of the first teams out of the tournament. Even SLU is sneaking into the discussion. Any fan of a bubble team needs to be rooting against these 4 teams. A run by any of these teams could propel them to darling status and get them in ahead of a potentially more deserving high-major team.

-Oklahoma State
Okie State is starting to get rolling at the best possible time, for them. Not the best possible time if you’re a team that will be competing for an at-large tournament berth, however. They have won 3 in a row, and just beat No. 22 Baylor in Stillwater, to improve to 7-5 in the Big 12. In their next 3 games they have @Texas, Kansas, and @Texas A&M. Wins in one or more of those games would nudge OK St. closer to “lock” status. Unless of course D3’s Huskers can beat ‘em and totally fuck up the works. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for that one.

-Teams in your own conference with better non-conference wins than you
Read: UCONN. As I write this UConn is putting the finishing touches on a victory over No. 7 West Virginia. That should put them on the right side of the bubble now. And with only Louisville, Notre Dame and South Florida left on the schedule, winning out to finish 10-8 in the Big East is looking pretty likely. And since they are also one of the biggest names on the college hoops landscape, you probably do not want the selection committee to be debating you vs. UConn for the 65th spot in the tourney; even if you’ve beaten them head to head.

-The SEC West
This is conceding that the 4 big teams from the SEC East (Kentucky, Vandy, Tennessee and Florida) will get in. However, if you still want to root against Florida, be my guest. And sure, the SEC West is fucking atrocious this year. But that’s been the case for the past few years and they always seem to get an extra team into the tournament. Whether it was Mississippi State stealing the conference tourney last year, or Arkansas inexplicably sneaking in the side door in 2007, the SEC West always seems to nab an undeserved bid. Mississippi St. is the only team that is even in the discussion this year. They mostly play the dregs of the SEC (Bama, South Carolina, Auburn), before finishing with Tennessee. But they damn near got beat by 0-12 LSU Saturday, and have already been taken to OT by Auburn this year, so there’s always the possibility of the disastrous misstep in Starkville.

-Illinois
As a Wisconsin native, and hater of the Big 11, this is just something I do anyways. But this year it has the added benefit of perhaps pushing the FIBs out of the tournament and clearing one more spot for my team. The Illini have some good wins, but they also have some horrendous non-conference losses. And their good wins have holes in them too; beating Michigan St. w/o Lucas, Ohio St. w/o Turner and Wisconsin w/o Leuer. I was surprised to realize that they already have 10 losses! A late season loss against the likes of Minnesota or Michigan (especially Michigan), would add another bad loss to their resume. Add in a game at tOSU and one more loss in the conference tournament and all of a sudden you’ve got a 12-13 loss team. That might make it awfully difficult for the committee to put Illinois in over a team with a better record from…oh I don’t know… the Big East say.

Root For

-Old Dominion
The Monarchs are currently in line for a potential at-large berth according to the latest Lunardi bracket. They are tied for the lead in the CAA, but Northeastern (18-10) holds the tie breaker over them. If you’re a fan of a power conference team on the bubble, you want ODU to win out, and we’ll only have to waste one tournament bid on those mid-major bastards.

-The rest of the favored mid-majors in the conference tournaments
This is true every year. Bubble teams will all be rooting for the Gonzagas and the Butlers of the world to hold serve, and not spit the bit in their conference tournaments. You can probably even throw Cal (or whoever is leading the dreadful Pac-10) in there too. If they do, they’re still getting in and that increases the chance that those living on the bubble will be heading to the consolation bracket.

-Most importantly, root for your team to keep winning.
For us MU fans, it’s good to know that, after Sunday, we pretty much control our own tournament destiny. Keep winning and we’re in. But, as has been stated many times, the margin for error is very slim. Joey Brackets gives us a 55% chance of remaining in his tourney. One bobble down the stretch and get the antacids ready, it’s could be a long, ulcer inducing Selection Sunday. Step one: bitch smack the Johnnies Wednesday night.

All It Needs is Boom Goes the Dynamite

2010-02-23T08:23:00.003-06:00

Hat tip to The Dagger blog on Yahoo.

We're Kind Of A Big Deal Now.

2010-02-22T10:35:00.002-06:00

Well, not now now, but maybe someday soon now. Know what I mean? Of course you don't.

Here's the poop: we're working on a new venture masterminded by Brew Crew Ball head maestro (and occasional Buffeter) KL Snow. When it'll be up and going, I'm not exactly sure, but it'll hopefully be before the NCAA tourney.

Until it is rollin', we've started a Twitter-type thing: @anonymouseagle. I'm still learning this Twitter thing, so the odds are good that (1) it won't be funny; and (2) you'll get a bunch of broken links; and (3) the links that aren't broken will take you to old MikeHunt columns. I apologize in advance.

MU-UC

2010-02-22T10:17:00.003-06:00

A couple of quick hitters from yesterday's game.

I am still giddy over the win. Huge road win for MU. The RPI got a nice boost. Now, they need to take care of business at St John's & Seton Hall
Senior leadership really prevailed. Lazar, Mo and Cooby all stepped up big. That being said, the player of the game was Jimmy Butler. Another gutsy performance from the Texan.
MU's undersized guards continue to struggle defensively. They were getting beat off the dribble repeatedly in the first half, which lead to dump-offs to UC's bigs or wide open treys.
UC is a mess up and down the bench. Yancey Gates didn't play the last 12 minutes of the game. Lance Stephenson only played 11 minutes and Cronin brought Deonta Vaughn off the bench. There is no doubt that UC has substantially more talent than MU, but they don't play together and don't give maximum effort. Gates needs to lay off the Skyline and get on a fitness program.
Cincinnati is a football school, gentlemen. They only had 10k at the game yesterday. This was probably their biggest game in 4 years and they couldn't fill the joint on a non-NFL Sunday.

Jamil Wilson to Marquette

2010-02-19T09:49:00.002-06:00

Now, I will start off by saying that I have this info from a source that is possibly reliable, but who cares.

The rumors are starting that Jamil Wilson will transfer to Marquette. I don't know where the scholaship is or anything like that. This could be and probably is all just a rumor. But if it isn't, you heard it here first and what are blogs for anyway?

If I hear more I'll keep you updated.

Admiral Ackbar & Bill Faulkner - Together at Last?

2010-02-19T08:48:00.002-06:00

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2010/2/18/1316740/ole-miss-students-to-vote-on

Check out the link from EDSBS for some comedic gold, at least in my book. In a move that is eerily familiar for MU fans, Ole Miss students are voting on a new mascot. Not a new name, they are a keeping the Rebels, but a new mascot since Colonel Reb is just a bit, well, hideously racist. Some students have started up a Facebook page to elect Admiral Ackbar as their new mascot.

Fuck Dick Bennett Ball.

2010-02-19T07:07:00.003-06:00

Apparently, no one else is going to address the zebra in the room, so I'm going to:

Those of you who love to mock Marquette's lack of a football team should watch a replay of the game against PITT -- the only things missing were facemasks and cleats. Because PITT isn't a gifted team athletically and struggles to create offense, they're reduced to playing Dick Bennett Ball on the defensive side, clutching, grabbing, hip-checking, and kidney-punching. Unfortunately, when you get a crew like last night's limpdick triumvirate of Bob Donato, John Gaffney, and Tony Greene, the game resembles Australian rules football more than it does American basketball.

You see, Mssrs. Limpdicks quickly decided that, because PITT fouls on every possession, they weren't going to call every clothesline, leg whip, and power bomb, lest the game turn into a four-hour free throw shooting contest. PITT saw that and took full advantage

Good for them, I guess. I know it'll be chalked up as sour grapes, and it probably is (to some extent), but I really wouldn't want to watch that kind of basketball 30 times a year. As Reid said after the game: if that's the way PITT is going to play basketball going forward, then the Big 11 can fucking have them.

Who Ya Got?

2010-02-18T09:37:00.003-06:00

Huge game tonight, predictions from the drooling masses?

I'm confident that MU will come out and take care of business. Pitt doesn't have a great inside presence to exploit MU's biggest weakness. MU wins a squeaker, 65-61.

Sympathy For The Devil?

2010-02-17T15:27:00.006-06:00

Walsh sends over this link to an ESPN.com "all access" piece featuring your favorite morbidly obese leprechaun, Tim Higgins. Being the masochist that I am, I read the whole fuckin' thing.

Friends, my feelings on officials are well known. If you're new to the site (and, if you are, you must be really bored at work, 'cuz this site shouldn't be any higher than 130 on your bookmarks bar), here's a post that serves as a primer. If you don't have time to read it, I'll sum up: I think officiating in college basketball is a joke, and Tim Higgins is at the top of my list of jokesters.

So when Dana O'Neil attempts to paint Tiny Tim in a positive light, I'm compelled to respond:

The brokenhearted Syracuse fan needed a place to vent his rage, and the man in zebra stripes provided the perfect target. ... [T]hey will remember one call: the intentional foul Higgins whistled on Kris Joseph with 18 seconds left and Syracuse down two.

In the minds of the 31,053, that play decided the game.

Let's be fair: that call did decide the game, in the minds of everyone but Tim Higgins. Yes, 'Cuse missed a ton of shots, and, yes, they blew an 11-point lead at home, and, yes, their best player couldn't hit water from a boat, but none of that absolves the referee from doing his fucking job, especially on a play that happened right in front of him. But we'll get back to that in a minute.

The man at the center of the storm verbally shrugged.

"It's one call in a game, that's all," Higgins said.

You, sir, are a fucking twit. There is no other way to describe you -- besides "impressively gunted," of course.

Each official is an independent contractor, hired by various leagues to work games. Top-tier officials are well-compensated -- based on ability, they're paid anywhere from $700 to $1000 per game, plus travel and expenses. But for Higgins and many others, college officiating isn't a full-time gig.

Really? Not a full-time gig? Then why is it that every time I turn on ESPN, or CBS, or ESPN2, or ESPNU, or the Big 11 Network, or fucking Nat Geo, that ruddy-nosed shit-for-brains is on the TV? If this is merely a hobby, what, pray tell, does Mr. Higgins list on his resume as his actual employment?

Higgins' real job is vice president of sales for Kamco Supply Co., a Brooklyn-based building materials company.

Take heart, kids! The economy is a bitch right now, and hard-workin' folk are getting laid off left and right, and it's likely that you'll have to move back in with your folks after graduation, but still -- STILL -- there are jobs in this country where you barely have to show up for work and you still draw a salary and get a nice title like "vice president of sales." Note: it's likely that this "job" is merely a front for the Irish Mafia -- V.P. of sales for a building materials company? -- but it ain't all bad out there.

Seriously -- THE MAN OFFICIATES FOUR OR FIVE GAMES A WEEK. How can you possibly hold down a job when you are gone for five months during the year?

(As an aside: I'd love to follow Tim Higgins for a day at his 'real job,' just to see if he's as grossly inept as a "vice president of sales" as he is as an official. Does he absentmindedly shred work orders? Does he come to work without pants on? Does he accidentally light his employees on fire during lunch hour? The world needs to know.)

And lest you think I'm making up the part where Higgins is working four or five games a week:

The latest criticism facing college referees is that they work too much, do too many games in too few nights and can't possibly be sharp. Had he not been snowed out of Chicago, Higgins would have officiated four games in five nights in two leagues in four states. On average, he says he'll do about 60 regular-season games.

Some other stats: in terms of gross tonnage, during the course of a typical season, he will eat two full-grown steers; he will drink his weight in Jameson; his liver will double in size; and he will murder 361 dreams in cold blood.

Higgins has one word for the notion that officials' performance slips because they're overworked -- hooey.

"Hooey"? Well, fiddlesticks, Mr. Higgins, I guess you've got us there. That's a devastating argument.

Except:

I've seen you when you're working your third game in four nights. I've seen you struggling to drag your ass upcourt in the last two minutes of the game. I've seen your beet-red face gasping for air during a 20-second timeout. I've seen you trying to hoist your pants over your foop as you trudge across half court. (OK, that one has nothing to do with being tired. I just felt like taking a cheap shot.) I've seen you waddling behind a fast-break, hopelessly out of position and unable to catch up, and, most importantly, unable to see whether the defender got in position for a charge -- not that something like being out of position would stop you from making the call, of course. Mine eyes have seen the horror, Mr. Higgins, and they can't un-see it.

Point is: you can't argue against this. When you're working so many games in so short a time frame, at 63 years of age, YOU ARE TIRED. And when you're tired, you make mistakes. Mistakes like this one:

And then Higgins calls Joseph for the intentional foul with the game hanging in the balance. The Carrier Dome, Boeheim and Joseph erupt.

And with good reason. Walsh found me a link to the call -- zip to the 45 second mark and take in the carnage.

I ask you: what part of that foul is even arguably intentional? What distinguishes that play from the other fouls that occur in the last minute of every close game -- fouls that don't, of course, result in an intentional foul call? Most of all: how in the hell can you miss that call when you're standing three feet away from the action? What did you think you saw?

More than anything, that's what really roils Higgins and his colleagues: that people think they don't care and that they intentionally make calls to affect the game.

No, that's not what worries me. What worries me is the spectacular, undeniable incompetence that's on display every night. It's like saying: the malfunctions in the Toyota Camry don't bother me, it's the fact that Toyota executives don't care about me. Fuck that -- as I'm careening off the road, I care that my brakes don't work, not that some dude in Tokyo doesn't give a shit about me or my car.

OK, I've said enough. Tim, if you're reading: die in a fire. My love to the missus.

Canada in tight with Superman.

2010-02-16T20:13:00.005-06:00

Apparently Superman was out of town and decided to let Canada use the Fortress of Solitude for the opening ceremony. Actually, I'm sure the Fortress of Solitude wouldn't have had all of the problems that the opening ceremony had. I also wish I had found the picture I saw from the first night because it looked way more like the Fortress of Solitude than this one does, but I hope you get my point.

I'm not sure how many of you have actually been watching these games (my guess is not many), but the coverage has been kind of awful... okay it has been downright bad. Too many commercial breaks and the whole not showing the good stuff live, has really hurt these games. The good guys are leading the medal count and I just watched a couple snowboard chicks wipeout, so it's not too bad. I also showed my students the event where they ski and then shoot a gun (I know it's called the Biathlon, but it's funnier to say it the other way). They loved it.

I do love the Winter Olympics. Something about those curling chicks.

Basketball Prospectus Hearts MU.

2010-02-16T10:14:00.003-06:00

Via the estimable Paul Noonan, Esq. of Brewed Sports comes this link to Basketball Prospectus' "Tuesday Truths" -- and let's cut to the quick:

So, yeah, with each passing week I come a little closer to a bold and iconoclastic "Marquette is the Best Team in the Big East" feature.

The tongue is firmly in the cheek on that one, but BP has Marquette ranked fourth in the BEast with a +0.10 Efficiency Margin (behind only WVU, 'Cuse and 'Nova).

Note: None of this is to be construed as a Rubie Endorsement of BP's views. Pursuant to the Buffet Charter, I will uphold my Nattering Nabob of Negativity duties and declare that there's no way in hell that Marquette is the fourth-best team in the Big East.

You Can't Spell "DePaul" Without "Clusterfuck."

2010-02-16T09:36:00.003-06:00

Hey, remember Mr. Sparkle's post about DePaul interim ~~orca whale~~ head coach Tracy Webster getting a verbal commitment from a Chicago eighth-grader, who's 6'8" and growing? You're not going to believe this, but ...

DePaul even managed to screw that up. I know, I'm shocked, too.

The quick and dirty: until a recruit signs a national letter of intent, you're not allowed to comment publicly on the recruit. Everyone associated with recruiting knows this -- everyone, it seems, but DePaul A.D. Jean Lenti Ponsetto*, who waxed eloquent about young Jahlil Okafor to ESPN Chicago. Whoops!

* OK, it's not just Ms. Ponsetto. Lane Kiffin had problems with this black-and-white rule, too, but he's a con artist and a dipshit, so he's partially absolved of blame.

When it rains, it pours, I guess.

Here's How I Feel About Tomorrow's Game

2010-02-12T14:37:00.002-06:00

I know it's not a bachelor party, but I can't think of a better way to describe the debauchery that will ensue. Find a sitter for the kid and dog, set the proper expectations with the piece, withdraw plenty of cash BEFORE you get to Poto and/or Silk and wear your drinking pants.